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It’s Never Easy To Be A Stepmom: Here’s Why

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It’s Never Easy To Be A Stepmom: Here’s Why

It is one thing to be a parent. It is another thing entirely to be a stepparent. Taking on the role of becoming a stepmom to kids that may have not known you previously can come with its own set of rules and challenges. It is up to you to fully understand what you are up against as a stepmom:

1. They are under pressure to succeed

Being successful as a stepmom is difficult as you likely had little time to prepare for the task at hand. You likely just fell into the duty of helping to raise another person’s children when you entered into a romantic relationship, and you are more than aware of the importance of not failing.

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2. They sit between being a friend and parent to their stepchildren

Since they have to often navigate between the needs and roles already established by biological parents, stepparents often find it difficult to find their place. As a stepmom, you are stuck in between being a replacement parent and an adult friend who the children can trust.

3. They have to be authentic

It is hard to fake your way through the task of being a stepparent. You have to be real. You really can never offer your best to the children by being someone you are not. Besides, children are often able to see through fake behavior and detect true motives regardless of how you present yourself anyway.

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4. They sometimes take the blame

The children sometimes need an outlet for expressing the anger that they feel that it didn’t work out for their parents. And what better outlet than the stepparent? We often are the target of blame for their parents’ shortcomings, or the fact they their biological parents are no longer a couple.

5. They can struggle with not feeling loved in return

As much as you love the father of the children, and you treat the children with honesty, love, and respect, your relationship with them can still be challenging. It can be difficult to put your heart on the line and invest in loving the children if you fear they will never love you back, or that they don’t see you as a ‘true parent’ due the fact that you are not biologically related to them.

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6. They always have their personality put to the test

It can be very hard to act with righteousness and enforce roles when you are a stepmom. It can feel like your personality is always being put to the test. There are many people you have to confront and contend with: the children, the ex-spouse, extended family, and even strangers sometimes. To deal with this positively does take a strong sense of self-worth and an ability to sail over insecurities and doubts.

7. They are sometimes used as bait in tense situations

Whether you are playing it cool or being a hotheaded stepparent, the children may want to understand your weaknesses and potentially use these against you when tense situations occur. These situations can create ethical dilemmas and test your values. For example, what if you have become entrusted with their secrets and personal affairs? Can you betray their trust, or do you tolerate everything they bring your way because you want to be the pleasant stepmom?

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8. They have to go beyond relying on maternal instinct

You might feel that you have a maternal instinct and with that you can thrive against any challenge you face. But it does not work that way. While this maternal instinct can be very valuable, instinct alone isn’t enough to help you navigate the difficult terrain of being a stepmom.

9. They fear what will happen, but also understand that it could all be worth it

There is nothing guaranteed or assured when you take on the role of being a stepmom. It could work out great or not so great. You have to strive forward, believe in your role as a stepmother, and believe that no matter what, things will work out for the best.

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10. They can still experience joy, despite all the struggles

It is one thing to assign yourself the role of being a stepparent. But having the children fully recognize you in that role and coming to you about their personal issues rather than their parents gives you a magnificent feeling of worthiness and accomplishment.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

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How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

Children are most likely to say that they want to just lounge around or rest for a while after spending hours listening to lecture after lecture from their teachers. There is nothing wrong with this if they had a rough day.

What’s disturbing, is if they deliberately stay away from schoolwork or procrastinate when it comes to reviewing for their tests or completing an important science project.

When it seems that it is becoming a habit for your child to put off school work, it’s time for you to step in and help your child develop good study habits to get better grades. It is important for you to emphasize to your child the importance of setting priorities early in life. Don’t wait for them to flunk their tests, or worse, fail in their subjects before you talk to them about it.

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You can help your children hurdle their tests with these 7 tips:

1. Help them set targets

Ask your child what they want to achieve for that particular school year. Tell them to set a specific goal or target. If they say, “I want to get better grades,” tell them to be more specific. It will be better if they say they want to get a GPA of 2.5 or higher. Having a definite target will make it easier for them to undertake a series of actions to achieve their goals, instead of just “shooting for the moon.”

2. Preparation is key

At the start of the school year, teachers provide an outline of a subject’s scope along with a reading list and other course requirements. Make sure that your child has all the materials they need for these course requirements. Having these materials on hand will make sure that your child will have no reason to procrastinate and give them the opportunity to study in advance.

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3. Teach them to mark important dates

You may opt to give them a small notebook where they can jot down important dates or a planner that has dates where they can list their schedule. Ask them to show this to you so you can give them “gentle reminders” to block off the whole week before the dates of an exam. During this week, advise your child to not schedule any social activity so they can concentrate on studying.

4. Schedule regular study time

Encourage your child to set aside at least two hours every day to go through their lessons. This will help them remember the lectures for the day and understand the concepts they were taught. They should be encouraged to spend more time on subjects or concepts that they do not understand.

5. Get help

Some kids find it hard to digest or absorb mathematical or scientific concepts. Ask your child if they are having difficulties with their subjects and if they would like to seek the help of a tutor. There is nothing wrong in asking for the assistance of a tutor who can explain complex subjects.

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6. Schedule some “downtime”

Your child needs to relax from time to time. During his break, you can consider bringing your child to the nearest mall or grocery store and get them a treat. You may play board games with them during their downtime. The idea is to take his mind off studying for a limited period of time.

7. Reward your child

If your child achieves their goals for the school year, you may give them a reward such as buying them the gadget they have always wanted or allowing them to vacation wherever they want. By doing this, you are telling your child that hard work does pay off.

Conclusion

You need to take the time to monitor your child’s performance in school. Your guidance is essential to helping your child realize the need to prioritize their school activities. As a parent, your ultimate goal is to expose your child to habits that will lay down the groundwork for their future success.

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Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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