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The Joys and Struggles That Only Stepparents Would Understand

The Joys and Struggles That Only Stepparents Would Understand
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For most kids, the first thing that comes to mind when they hear the word “stepparent” is Snow White’s or Cinderella’s evil stepmother. From their youngest age, children are only introduced to this kind of relationship, so it’s no wonder they very often refuse to even try to make it work. No one tells them that there are stepparents who don’t mind you being prettier, or those who won’t make you sleep on the floor next to the fireplace.

Parenting itself is challenging enough, but trying to take a place in already existing family is even harder. But, just like everything else in life, after defeating the obstacles, the rewards are amazing. If you decided to take this big step in your life and become a part of someone else’s, here is what you need to know.

So, let’s start with the struggles you’ll probably meet on this journey and some advice on how to cope with them.

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The Struggles

1. You will never be the “real” one.

You need to make peace with this fact. You can never (nor should you try to) replace the actual parent. It just won’t work. Even if the kids tell you that they think of you as mom, even if they call you “dad,” don’t make a mistake and think they will ever love you the way they love their parents—even if they are not around often, even if they aren’t really good parents.

Biology did its thing and the child will always feel connected to their parents. That may mean they will resent you at the beginning, or feel that their parents’ separation is your fault, but don’t blame them. Be consistent and try very hard and eventually you too will have a place in their heart.

2. You will have a hard time making the kids listen to you.

Even though you know that you deserve respect, you may find that your stepchildren don’t feel the same way. You are new to the family, and from their perspective, you don’t belong there. This may be the reason they deliberately ignore your requests, act in the most bratty way, or talk behind your back. Putting things in order will be hard, and you will need to be firm and fair to earn their respect.

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Try to make them listen, try showing them that you are there and don’t plan to leave, but also be careful not to overstep. Leave the punishments to your new spouse at least for the beginning and try different approaches, such as helping when they are in trouble, talking to them when they are upset etc.

3. You may have problems with the “ex.”

Whether he/she is there constantly or just occasionally, chances are they won’t like you, and they’ll like the fact you spend so much time with their kids even less. They may even try to turn them against you and there is very little you can do about it. All you can do is try to make the young ones like you for who you are by showing them that you have no intention replacing their parent, and that you just want to be their friend.

4. You may not love the children the way you think you should.

Since you are not biologically connected, you may at some point realize that you just find them awfully annoying (especially if they refuse to take you seriously). Keep in mind that you will never be more important to your loved one than their kids and also remember that they are your new family. You will be staying that way for quite some time, so you might as well invest in the relationship and try to see their good sides—just like what you expect them to do about you. How about taking them for a trip—just you and them—maybe go to the cinema or the local zoo and spend time alone, giving each other chance to grow positive feelings about each other.

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As hard as the downsides of step parenting may be, the rewards you get are sure to overcome them, and here is what you can expect once things are finally in order.

The Joys

5. You get all the joys of having children, even if they aren’t biologically yours.

If they are young, it’s stuff like reading them a good-night book, baking cookies together, getting them ready for school, teaching them the important stuff etc. If they are older, it’s seeing them off to prom, talking about boys (or girls), taking them shopping and so on. They will love you for it, and you will feel accomplished in a way only a parent can.

6. You will feel unimaginable happiness when they come to you for advice.

After the rough road, you finally managed to form some kind of a relationship with your stepchild—and now, they need your help. Whether it is a girl-to-girl talk about boys or just help with your stepsons homework, it feels amazing, as if you finally broke through the great wall of ignoring (and maybe a bit of resentment too) and got straight to heaven. Try to justify their trust and it will improve your relationship even more. Just be careful not to end up in between your spouse and the kids if they ask you to keep something a secret. Balance!

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7. You will want your kids and your step kids to get along.

Assuming you have your own kids, that is. And if they do get along, there is no better thing in the world. That means you are actually a family now. They may not consider each other siblings yet, but being friends is a great start. Now you can go to real family camping trips, or maybe all the children will go to the prom together. And that is when you will feel the most accomplished!

8. Your efforts WILL pay off.

It may be hard at the beginning (it probably will be) but then there will be a day your stepdaughter introduces you to her friends, or when your stepson invites you to see him play a football game. They will accept you for who you are and they will come to love you. All it takes is patience and courage, and the results will dazzle you!

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Last Updated on July 12, 2021

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier
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Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

    84 write random letter

      85 use a rubberband

        86 dorm smell bad

          87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

            89 how to waterproof your shoes

              90 take a picture of the name card

                91 iron inside out

                  92 old newspaper

                    93 tumble try shoes

                      keep a card like this

                        SONY DSC

                          94 soap bar

                            95 make a hole

                              96 drop the battery

                                97 use a coozie

                                  98 when taking a picture

                                    use a clean dust pan

                                      try a pants hanger

                                        use your cellphone light

                                          use a spring from an old pen

                                            quick and easy iphone speaker

                                              user binder clips

                                                wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                  put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                    clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                      use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                        doritos are great for kindling

                                                          use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                            use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                              freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                  almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                    sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                      unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                        cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                          remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                            turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                              for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                  tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                    place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                      ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                        use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                          take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                            how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                              put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                  user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                    good sandwich guide

                                                                                                      turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                        50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                          the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                            add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                              38

                                                                                                                hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                  stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                    the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                      how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                        the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                          use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                            to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                              user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                  rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                    use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                      50

                                                                                                                                        51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                          52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                            rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                              kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                  58

                                                                                                                                                    59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                      60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                        hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                          Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                            hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                              use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                  keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                    If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                      drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                        use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                          use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                            do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                              when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                  put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                    75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                      use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                        pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                          78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                            79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                              80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                  82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                    99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                      100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                        88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                          There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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