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8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

It requires tremendous amount of patience and effort to learn an instrument. However, it takes more than just countless hours of practice and rehearsals to perform on stage with fellow members. It requires a deeply rooted passion that urges the musician to express their emotions with every note.

A shared belief many accept is that each and every instrument in the band supplements the music. That said, many choose to eye the front runners, typically the lead singer or the guitarist for their noticeable sounds, leaving the bass player forgotten without compliments. The bass player might be overlooked and pushed aside in the back, yet they have the most crucial role in the band, where everyone relies on the rhythm and the harmony.

Bass players are quite subtle on stage. Upon observing their consistent collaboration within the band, you will notice how they sacrifice the spotlight for the music. This innate trait can bring more than just good look or charm to relationships.

Here are the 8 qualities that make bass players desirable for those seeking a promising partner.

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1. They Love to be Connected

Bass players – unless given a moment to strike a solo – are known as the support for other instruments. Rarely do we recognize the bass notes before anything else. If the bass is subtle, that means they are doing their part correctly. However, without other instruments, bass players might come off as repetitive. It wouldn’t be as interesting to hear a song with only bass notes, unlike the guitar or the piano being more delightful even if played alone.

Bass players understand the significance of stability and collaboration. This quality in a relationship is a must when reaching to secure happiness and a wealthy collaboration. They love to acknowledge your presence and allow mutual feedback through connection. If you show you admire them, they would surely do the same.

2. They Are Content Regardless of the Lack of Attention

Bass players are generally unrecognized within our culture and media. Very few notable representations of bass players are available that praise them. However, just because one is on stage and musically talented, there is no rule that they have to stand out and exaggerate, only to come off pretentious. Bass players are there for a reason: to support the band. They are passionate about the bigger picture.

As long as there is a positive cooperation, they are satisfied. Of course, this assumes there is a mutual respect. Bass players have the patience and the solitude, where they have subdued the feeling of wanting more. You won’t be disappointed when dating a bass player because they are comfortable with what they have.

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3. They are Passively Creative

Who doesn’t love to show their creative achievements? However, being too bombastic can be tiring. Submerged in a group where bass is the lowest tone, it takes keen awareness with the right time and with appropriate timing to show themselves. Their effort to explore while being tactful is like discovering an oasis at the eleventh hour. This quality can bring many surprises in relationships that leave memorable impressions on a partner. Overall, bass players might appear ordinary, but they will unexpectedly touch your feeling in an artistic manner.

4. They are Considerate

“Thank you, my friends, for finally remembering my phone number.” – John Paul Jones, bassist for Led Zeppelin at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 1995

Bass player will encounter the typical never dying jokes and the stereotypes of being the one that doesn’t have showmanship, the quiet one, the instrument that can’t be heard, or the member that seems to be forgotten or rather uninterested.

Pride leads toward avenues of discourse, arguments, and bitter feelings. Bass players know self-interest will only preclude cooperation among members. There is no doubt they would like more attention, everyone loves to be admired, but their kind awareness is all about security — even if they are poorly represented. This is a quality of modesty that is a key to a healthy and solid relationship. You wouldn’t have to worry about their greed to fame because as long as you show admiration, they will hit the right spot.

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5. They are Multi-Instrumentalist

Many bass players that have been recognized by the public are multi-instrumentalist. First of all, this shouldn’t be of a surprise, many bass players are musically talented when it comes to technicality. This talent comes to those that are dedicated and disciplined. Bass guitar is just as difficult as any other instruments. Being able to make transitions is a trait for those that are adventurous to get a feel for each instrument’s potential.

A partner that isn’t afraid to seek and explore in a relationship can always find significant ways to improve relationships. Also, if you’re only attracted to someone playing a guitar and singing, don’t exclude bass players. Once they drop the bass — it’s on!

6. They Tune in with People

By tuning, other than being in pitch and keeping the rhythm, bass players are the ears and the eyes of the band. They know the importance of reciprocity. Their quality of having fine communication is rare in everyday friction with strangers. People talk about having great chemistry with others, but ultimately it is being able to listen and compliment the interest of others that matters most.

If relationships are spiraling down, you need someone that can seize the moment and understand. Bass players go through musical difference with people. Honestly, that is their hardest gig to survive. It can only toughen their social skills. Everyone will have issues with individuals at some point in their lives, but bass players have tricks and methods to repair rapports that not everyone has. They know how to console and tidy you up.

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7. They are the Artists of Adaptation

What more can you want from a partner who enjoys the thrill of the moment and has enthusiasm, while maintaining gentleness. Bass players know how to excite the crowd and work from the energy. Other band-mates can jump up and down, head-bang, play with the crowds, throw drinks at the crowds, and (if financially capable) they can even smash their instruments.

However, every band needs a balance to appeal to the majority, and the bass player’s quiet presence preserves the mellow with a class act. They know how to express excitement and when it comes to romantic flattery, they can make a ballad out of you.

8. They Have Great Hands for Pleasing

Bass players are known for having incredible hands. Don’t confuse yourself of thinking of big hands, it’s how they’re used. There are plenty of bass players with smaller hands, but are just as capable to amaze you with what they can offer. Have you ever felt a rush of sensation from being touched by amazing hands? Let the bass player play you away.

Featured photo credit: Patrick Wright via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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