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8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

It requires tremendous amount of patience and effort to learn an instrument. However, it takes more than just countless hours of practice and rehearsals to perform on stage with fellow members. It requires a deeply rooted passion that urges the musician to express their emotions with every note.

A shared belief many accept is that each and every instrument in the band supplements the music. That said, many choose to eye the front runners, typically the lead singer or the guitarist for their noticeable sounds, leaving the bass player forgotten without compliments. The bass player might be overlooked and pushed aside in the back, yet they have the most crucial role in the band, where everyone relies on the rhythm and the harmony.

Bass players are quite subtle on stage. Upon observing their consistent collaboration within the band, you will notice how they sacrifice the spotlight for the music. This innate trait can bring more than just good look or charm to relationships.

Here are the 8 qualities that make bass players desirable for those seeking a promising partner.

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1. They Love to be Connected

Bass players – unless given a moment to strike a solo – are known as the support for other instruments. Rarely do we recognize the bass notes before anything else. If the bass is subtle, that means they are doing their part correctly. However, without other instruments, bass players might come off as repetitive. It wouldn’t be as interesting to hear a song with only bass notes, unlike the guitar or the piano being more delightful even if played alone.

Bass players understand the significance of stability and collaboration. This quality in a relationship is a must when reaching to secure happiness and a wealthy collaboration. They love to acknowledge your presence and allow mutual feedback through connection. If you show you admire them, they would surely do the same.

2. They Are Content Regardless of the Lack of Attention

Bass players are generally unrecognized within our culture and media. Very few notable representations of bass players are available that praise them. However, just because one is on stage and musically talented, there is no rule that they have to stand out and exaggerate, only to come off pretentious. Bass players are there for a reason: to support the band. They are passionate about the bigger picture.

As long as there is a positive cooperation, they are satisfied. Of course, this assumes there is a mutual respect. Bass players have the patience and the solitude, where they have subdued the feeling of wanting more. You won’t be disappointed when dating a bass player because they are comfortable with what they have.

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3. They are Passively Creative

Who doesn’t love to show their creative achievements? However, being too bombastic can be tiring. Submerged in a group where bass is the lowest tone, it takes keen awareness with the right time and with appropriate timing to show themselves. Their effort to explore while being tactful is like discovering an oasis at the eleventh hour. This quality can bring many surprises in relationships that leave memorable impressions on a partner. Overall, bass players might appear ordinary, but they will unexpectedly touch your feeling in an artistic manner.

4. They are Considerate

“Thank you, my friends, for finally remembering my phone number.” – John Paul Jones, bassist for Led Zeppelin at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 1995

Bass player will encounter the typical never dying jokes and the stereotypes of being the one that doesn’t have showmanship, the quiet one, the instrument that can’t be heard, or the member that seems to be forgotten or rather uninterested.

Pride leads toward avenues of discourse, arguments, and bitter feelings. Bass players know self-interest will only preclude cooperation among members. There is no doubt they would like more attention, everyone loves to be admired, but their kind awareness is all about security — even if they are poorly represented. This is a quality of modesty that is a key to a healthy and solid relationship. You wouldn’t have to worry about their greed to fame because as long as you show admiration, they will hit the right spot.

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5. They are Multi-Instrumentalist

Many bass players that have been recognized by the public are multi-instrumentalist. First of all, this shouldn’t be of a surprise, many bass players are musically talented when it comes to technicality. This talent comes to those that are dedicated and disciplined. Bass guitar is just as difficult as any other instruments. Being able to make transitions is a trait for those that are adventurous to get a feel for each instrument’s potential.

A partner that isn’t afraid to seek and explore in a relationship can always find significant ways to improve relationships. Also, if you’re only attracted to someone playing a guitar and singing, don’t exclude bass players. Once they drop the bass — it’s on!

6. They Tune in with People

By tuning, other than being in pitch and keeping the rhythm, bass players are the ears and the eyes of the band. They know the importance of reciprocity. Their quality of having fine communication is rare in everyday friction with strangers. People talk about having great chemistry with others, but ultimately it is being able to listen and compliment the interest of others that matters most.

If relationships are spiraling down, you need someone that can seize the moment and understand. Bass players go through musical difference with people. Honestly, that is their hardest gig to survive. It can only toughen their social skills. Everyone will have issues with individuals at some point in their lives, but bass players have tricks and methods to repair rapports that not everyone has. They know how to console and tidy you up.

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7. They are the Artists of Adaptation

What more can you want from a partner who enjoys the thrill of the moment and has enthusiasm, while maintaining gentleness. Bass players know how to excite the crowd and work from the energy. Other band-mates can jump up and down, head-bang, play with the crowds, throw drinks at the crowds, and (if financially capable) they can even smash their instruments.

However, every band needs a balance to appeal to the majority, and the bass player’s quiet presence preserves the mellow with a class act. They know how to express excitement and when it comes to romantic flattery, they can make a ballad out of you.

8. They Have Great Hands for Pleasing

Bass players are known for having incredible hands. Don’t confuse yourself of thinking of big hands, it’s how they’re used. There are plenty of bass players with smaller hands, but are just as capable to amaze you with what they can offer. Have you ever felt a rush of sensation from being touched by amazing hands? Let the bass player play you away.

Featured photo credit: Patrick Wright via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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