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30 Things You Should Not Be Afraid To Ask For In A Relationship

30 Things You Should Not Be Afraid To Ask For In A Relationship

People are sometimes scared to commit their lives to anyone. They have standards, but they do not think their partners can meet or attain them. However, when it comes to love or commitment you should expect everything because you deserve it. Companionship is a shield and it pushes you to offer love, warmth and affection. So why should you expect anything short of the best? Never be afraid to ask your partner for these thirty things.

1. Truth, either what was happened or what your partner intends to act upon.

2. Affection, something higher and above than what your other friends will give you.

3. Space, knowing that you can make great things happen if you are trusted upon to take advantage of what surrounds you.

4. Love, not just affection, but an unconditional love that is not attached to time, money or place.

5. Advice, because you cannot trust only your opinion, and also need the advice and opinion of a trusted partner.

6. Energy, because no relationship can do very well without it.

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7. Great diet, because shared meals represent shared time – home cooked and healthy is better than fast food restaurants.

8. Optimism, that no matter how things are now, it will always be better as long as the other person sticks with you.

9. Adventures, because the two of you can discover and reach great heights if you stick it out together.

10. Awareness, because you should always be noticed and recognized by your partner.

11. Your identity, as people can get lost in relationships. Make sure you do not lose your identity while being with another person.

12. Respect, something that should be earned, but should also offered.

13. Forgiveness, because you will both make mistakes.

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14. Time, time to correct things, to make amends, to heal, and to discover.

15. Patience, because you can’t build anything substantive without it.

16. A family, because when the love grows, others should also be invited into your home, and your family should grow also.

17. Laughter, because humor lightens the spirit and makes memorable moments.

18. Motivation, because you will be low sometimes and you will need help from your partner to get back up.

19. Acceptance, that you are not perfect but you can become the best you can be.

20. Appreciation, that your effort or what you have is never unnoticed.

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21. Someone to dance with and share your successes with.

22. Someone to be proud of and show off your accomplishments to.

23. Someone that will listen and never shut you out, even when the whole world seems to be deaf to your needs.

24. Someone that is deserving. Yes, you are a bundle of love but you can’t just store it all up, you have to offer such deep emotions to the right person.

25. Someone that is dependable. You need someone to have your back and should be a shield even in the most challenging of times.

26. Someone to call your own. On this you can be selfish because they are yours and you cannot afford to share them with anyone in the world.

27. Safety and security. After all is said and done, you can be safe and be in the right persons arms who will always be loyal to you.

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28. Eternity, because even when time passes they will be there with you to spend so many moments at your side.

29. Depth, whether in love or in friendship they are willing to offer you something above average, something strong, warm and comforting.

30. Compassion, a partner that cares unselfishly. You need someone that sees you as their world, and will be always be kind to you.

Never compromise the quality of your relationship and become careless or nonchalant about the above.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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