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Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship

Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship

There is a famous quote by Albert Einstein:

“You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.”

Now, when you are on the brink of hardship, this is a hard pill to swallow, but the aim of this article is to give you a simple process that you can use to gain momentum and flow into your life.

If we don’t break this cycle these patterns and circumstances will continue to unfold in our lives; therefore, it is worthwhile making the change.

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Understand the metrics and use the system to increase your flow.

1. Like attracts like; hate attracts hate; money follows money.

Imagine you are a light and everyone on this planet is also a light and we live on a massive light grid. We all shine at a different level of brightness; we attract the same intensity of light frequency.

It’s all about an energy exchange.

You have to do the work to ensure you don’t attract the same thing into your life—you need to raise your light frequency.

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There have been cycles throughout my life: attracting abuser after abuser, job after job and money comes and goes. It was this cycle that just continued to play throughout my life. I didn’t even understand what was happening at the time—I just knew I had to do something to break the cycle.

You don’t need to see the entire staircase in order to take the first step.

It started with my relationships; I was attracting toxic relationships into my life.

2. Decide to break the cycle.

Make the decision to do anything to break the cycle. Become so committed to breaking the cycle that you no longer focus on what you don’t want and become crystal clear on what you do want. By switching your focus on what you do want and defining that, you begin to feel like-worthy. The love that you have for yourself is restored, reinvigorated and on a whole new level of self acceptance.

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3. Surround yourself with people who have healthy relationships.

Begin to see and understand what love is really about, what a healthy relationship looks like and that it is possible to experience real, healthy, true love, but only once you’ve felt it for yourself.

4. 100% let go of what you want.

Ask yourself some important questions, like: “What do I want to do with my life? Are you happy?” Do whatever you like as long as it’s FUN. You don’t need a partner, because your life is already fulfilled. Do what you love to do, in a way you like to do it. Although you may not have the big vision about what you want in your life, you can’t see the entire staircase. Just take one step at a time in a direction that feels amazing. It’s flicking the switch and having gratitude for what you have; in order for more things to come… it’s when the need becomes a want, that’s when you’re in your power.

5. Be the change you want to see.

Within all areas of your life, money, love, health and your profession, work on raising your light and focus on what you want and set strong intentions. What you put out there, what you are will be exactly what you attract. Be the path, own the path, just get going and keep going! Don’t lose hope or focus because you are gaining traction at every step. As long as you know what you want, take action towards it and let go and it to happen. It’s already happening.

6. Money is important.

Love it, appreciate it, give thanks, nourish it, spend it with love and know that if you’re constantly raising your light, you will continue to attract, grow and expand your wealth beyond what you can ever imagine.

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7. When “stuff” happens, focus on the moment.

Things happen and it’s how we perceive something that will determine how we respond. When we react, we do it without thinking, but when we respond, it’s a much more elegant way to dance with life. There is no right or wrong; it’s just our perception around it. What if it was just another “thing” that has to happen in order for us to evolve and grow?

Write a list of 7 things that will help you through times when you’re feeling a dis-ease, anxiety or stress. Take three deep breaths, jump up and down ten times, go for a walk, play really loud music and dance, go outside and feel the wind on your face, smell a flower or meditate—whatever it is that brings you back into the moment. Don’t worry about what was or what’s going to happen; just breathe and know that all that matters in this moment is right now—this is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Featured photo credit: Adjective of the Week: gleaming by Kevin Dinkel via Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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