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Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship

Remember These 7 Things When You’re Overwhelmed With Hardship

There is a famous quote by Albert Einstein:

“You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.”

Now, when you are on the brink of hardship, this is a hard pill to swallow, but the aim of this article is to give you a simple process that you can use to gain momentum and flow into your life.

If we don’t break this cycle these patterns and circumstances will continue to unfold in our lives; therefore, it is worthwhile making the change.

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Understand the metrics and use the system to increase your flow.

1. Like attracts like; hate attracts hate; money follows money.

Imagine you are a light and everyone on this planet is also a light and we live on a massive light grid. We all shine at a different level of brightness; we attract the same intensity of light frequency.

It’s all about an energy exchange.

You have to do the work to ensure you don’t attract the same thing into your life—you need to raise your light frequency.

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There have been cycles throughout my life: attracting abuser after abuser, job after job and money comes and goes. It was this cycle that just continued to play throughout my life. I didn’t even understand what was happening at the time—I just knew I had to do something to break the cycle.

You don’t need to see the entire staircase in order to take the first step.

It started with my relationships; I was attracting toxic relationships into my life.

2. Decide to break the cycle.

Make the decision to do anything to break the cycle. Become so committed to breaking the cycle that you no longer focus on what you don’t want and become crystal clear on what you do want. By switching your focus on what you do want and defining that, you begin to feel like-worthy. The love that you have for yourself is restored, reinvigorated and on a whole new level of self acceptance.

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3. Surround yourself with people who have healthy relationships.

Begin to see and understand what love is really about, what a healthy relationship looks like and that it is possible to experience real, healthy, true love, but only once you’ve felt it for yourself.

4. 100% let go of what you want.

Ask yourself some important questions, like: “What do I want to do with my life? Are you happy?” Do whatever you like as long as it’s FUN. You don’t need a partner, because your life is already fulfilled. Do what you love to do, in a way you like to do it. Although you may not have the big vision about what you want in your life, you can’t see the entire staircase. Just take one step at a time in a direction that feels amazing. It’s flicking the switch and having gratitude for what you have; in order for more things to come… it’s when the need becomes a want, that’s when you’re in your power.

5. Be the change you want to see.

Within all areas of your life, money, love, health and your profession, work on raising your light and focus on what you want and set strong intentions. What you put out there, what you are will be exactly what you attract. Be the path, own the path, just get going and keep going! Don’t lose hope or focus because you are gaining traction at every step. As long as you know what you want, take action towards it and let go and it to happen. It’s already happening.

6. Money is important.

Love it, appreciate it, give thanks, nourish it, spend it with love and know that if you’re constantly raising your light, you will continue to attract, grow and expand your wealth beyond what you can ever imagine.

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7. When “stuff” happens, focus on the moment.

Things happen and it’s how we perceive something that will determine how we respond. When we react, we do it without thinking, but when we respond, it’s a much more elegant way to dance with life. There is no right or wrong; it’s just our perception around it. What if it was just another “thing” that has to happen in order for us to evolve and grow?

Write a list of 7 things that will help you through times when you’re feeling a dis-ease, anxiety or stress. Take three deep breaths, jump up and down ten times, go for a walk, play really loud music and dance, go outside and feel the wind on your face, smell a flower or meditate—whatever it is that brings you back into the moment. Don’t worry about what was or what’s going to happen; just breathe and know that all that matters in this moment is right now—this is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Featured photo credit: Adjective of the Week: gleaming by Kevin Dinkel via Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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