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7 Reasons You’re Always Exhausted

7 Reasons You’re Always Exhausted

There’s a difference between being tired and being exhausted. If you didn’t get enough sleep last night, you’re just tired and need some time to recuperate. If you’re exhausted, you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. There is no quick fix for exhaustion. A remedy requires you to make some changes in your lifestyle. Although this might seem like a daunting task, it will be incredibly worth it in the long run. Think of how some of these factors have negatively impacted your life, and whether or not it’d be a good idea to make some changes.

1. You lack personal relationships

If you constantly find yourself hanging around people who are fun to be around, but who you don’t consider to be true friends, you should start looking elsewhere for meaningful connections. If your relationships are stagnant, chances are a good portion of your life is, as well. Don’t let yourself get dragged down to other people’s level, under the guise of having a “good time.” A few hours of partying doesn’t make up for a week’s worth of exhaustion. Find people who share your interests and will help you achieve your goals, not hold you back from them.

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2. You are unfulfilled

When life becomes monotonous, it becomes more of a grind than a living. Your job is a huge part of your life; if it becomes meaningless, your happiness will suffer. Not only that, but if you’re exhausted when you get home from work, you’ll be less willing to spend time doing things you love, such as working on hobbies or being with your family. Of course, you probably can’t up and quit your job. However, if you’re feeling unfulfilled in your current position, you should definitely start actively looking for a change.

3. You don’t make time for life

Like I said, if your job is dragging you down, you probably won’t want to put effort into other things after 5PM rolls around. It may seem counterintuitive, but instead of coming home and vegging out on the couch all night, use this time to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Take your family for a walk, read a book that’s been on your shelf for months, or register for a weekly class that could further your career. Just because you’re unhappy with a part of your life doesn’t mean the rest of it has to suffer.

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4. You work way too hard

If you’re at a job which you don’t necessarily enjoy, chances are you don’t put that much effort into improving your productivity. Of course, you still have to do something, since you don’t really care to learn how to be efficient in your duties. This actually backfires on you in the long run. By working harder, not smarter, you end up burning yourself out, while others around you end up leaps and bounds ahead of you. By figuring out how to maximize your productivity, you won’t work yourself to the bone every day of your life.

5. You don’t set goals

Once you get stuck in the rut of a 9 to 5 that you despise, you resign yourself to a life of dead-ends. If you have no direction, you’re simply living to work, and working to live. Although you may have initially suffered from a lack of self-worth which kept you from creating goals in the first place, lacking goals as you age will only further your lack of self-esteem. Try to set short and long-term goals in order to give yourself a reason to get out of bed every day. You’d be surprised how energizing having a purpose can be.

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6. You lack motivation

Maybe you’re in a bad spot right now. Maybe you lack the drive to get up and go every day of your life. This is a sure sign that you need to make a change in your life. Make a list of the parts of your life that make you happy, and focus on them. Check out your list of goals and see which ones aren’t attainable without making a change. Spend some time working on hobbies. You may find that your heart is really into something completely unrelated to your current position. Maybe you can find a way to make a living doing that instead. Finding a reason to get out of bed will set you on a path to success every day of your life.

7. You lack self-care

Earlier, I talked about how neglecting the positives in your life can be downright exhausting. Well, neglecting your own body can be equally as tiring. If you find that you’re not eating right, sleeping right, or visiting the doctor or dentist for check-ups simply because you don’t want to take the time to do so, you need to reevaluate your life as a whole. Yes, going to the dentist is expensive, but you can’t put a price on your health. Even going to the gym a few times during the week can break you out of your rut. As an added bonus, you’ll start to feel better about yourself — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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You could be the most upbeat person in the world, but if you don’t have others around you that share your passion for life it will be impossible to maintain a sense of optimism.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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