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8 Ways to Know It’s Time to Let Go

8 Ways to Know It’s Time to Let Go

Remember that old episode of Seinfeld where Jerry wanted to “break up” with a guy with whom he had been friends, but really didn’t have anything in common with anymore? A lot of us feel that way at times, but instead of confronting the situation, we just deal with it. How many times have you gotten together with an old college friend just because you were both in town? You didn’t have much at all to talk about (especially because you know everything you need to anyway – thanks to Facebook).

There are often people in your life that you truly care about, but are holding you back from attaining your true potential. Here’s how you know it’s time to let the friendship die out, even if it’s hard to let go.

1. Let go because things aren’t the same

There are times when you meet up with friends you haven’t seen in a while and feel like you haven’t missed a beat. Other times you’ll find yourself in company with others, and have absolutely nothing to talk about. You used to have so much in common, so it’s hard to believe your friendship has flat-lined.

Time is precious. If you feel like a certain relationship is wasting your priceless time and energy, it’s time to move on.

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2. Let go because trust and loyalty are gone

Sometimes, “friends” are only out for themselves, but it takes some time to figure that out. When you were younger, you were okay with having someone simply to hang out and shoot the breeze with. But as you age, you realize the friendship is one-sided. The other person is around for the good times, but isn’t there when you need them the most.

When you figure out that someone isn’t a true friend, it’s time to drop them from your life – immediately.

3. Let go because the relationship isn’t transparent

The best friendships are completely transparent, meaning each of you know exactly what the other wants from each other. If you’re looking for a pal to have a beer with, that’s totally fine, as long as the other person isn’t looking for something deeper.

On the other hand, when you don’t know what your “friend’s” intentions are, it’s hard to know where the friendship is headed.

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4. Let go because the friendship is toxic

Toxic friendships are deadly. Typically once you’ve figured out a friendship is poison, it’s already done serious damage.

In college, you might have been friends with people who enjoyed getting drunk every weekend. While that isn’t so out of the ordinary in your early 20s, is that really what you want as you approach 30? You might still think you’re having fun, but it will catch up with you sooner than you think.

If you can’t hang out with your long-time friends without falling back into bad habits, it’s time to make a change.

5. Let go because you don’t have the same life goals

Everyone reaches a point when they realize their life goals differ from their friends’. While it’s okay to keep them around in small doses, when you’re looking to make a giant change in your life, you have to accept that things won’t be the same.

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For example, if you’re focusing on a serious relationship and trying to build a family, you won’t have loads of time to spend going out with other friends. It might be hard to get used to the change, but once you take the big step, you’ll see how rewarding your lifestyle change can be.

6. Let go because you’re doing all the work

You always make the plans, only to have your friend cancel last minute. Take that hint and find others who actually want to spend time with you.

Maybe the other party is feeling your friendship peter out, but is afraid to say anything. Whatever the case may be, you don’t want to be a bother to someone you care about. Maybe they’re just going through a change of their own, and will come back to you when the time is right. But if you push them, they might not.

7. Let go because they aren’t pushing you to be a better person

Although it’s okay to have people whom you simply enjoy being around, your best friends need to inspire you. Actively seek out people who are motivated, optimistic, and hard-working. Simply “hanging out” with people will get you nowhere, and you’ll look back and realize you were just passing the time until something (or someone) better came around.

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When you find the people who always make you want to better yourself, you’ve found the right group.

8. Let go because you don’t want or need them in your life

Duh! It sounds pretty obvious, but you don’t have obligation to be friends with anyone. Focus on being yourself and making sure you’re happy. If you don’t need someone in your life, you shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving them behind. You might not want to hurt anyone, but that also doesn’t mean you should suffer, either.

If you’ve ever felt like you “had to” meet up with someone, rather than genuinely wanting to, you should reevaluate the way you treat your own self.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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