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8 Ways to Know It’s Time to Let Go

8 Ways to Know It’s Time to Let Go

Remember that old episode of Seinfeld where Jerry wanted to “break up” with a guy with whom he had been friends, but really didn’t have anything in common with anymore? A lot of us feel that way at times, but instead of confronting the situation, we just deal with it. How many times have you gotten together with an old college friend just because you were both in town? You didn’t have much at all to talk about (especially because you know everything you need to anyway – thanks to Facebook).

There are often people in your life that you truly care about, but are holding you back from attaining your true potential. Here’s how you know it’s time to let the friendship die out, even if it’s hard to let go.

1. Let go because things aren’t the same

There are times when you meet up with friends you haven’t seen in a while and feel like you haven’t missed a beat. Other times you’ll find yourself in company with others, and have absolutely nothing to talk about. You used to have so much in common, so it’s hard to believe your friendship has flat-lined.

Time is precious. If you feel like a certain relationship is wasting your priceless time and energy, it’s time to move on.

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2. Let go because trust and loyalty are gone

Sometimes, “friends” are only out for themselves, but it takes some time to figure that out. When you were younger, you were okay with having someone simply to hang out and shoot the breeze with. But as you age, you realize the friendship is one-sided. The other person is around for the good times, but isn’t there when you need them the most.

When you figure out that someone isn’t a true friend, it’s time to drop them from your life – immediately.

3. Let go because the relationship isn’t transparent

The best friendships are completely transparent, meaning each of you know exactly what the other wants from each other. If you’re looking for a pal to have a beer with, that’s totally fine, as long as the other person isn’t looking for something deeper.

On the other hand, when you don’t know what your “friend’s” intentions are, it’s hard to know where the friendship is headed.

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4. Let go because the friendship is toxic

Toxic friendships are deadly. Typically once you’ve figured out a friendship is poison, it’s already done serious damage.

In college, you might have been friends with people who enjoyed getting drunk every weekend. While that isn’t so out of the ordinary in your early 20s, is that really what you want as you approach 30? You might still think you’re having fun, but it will catch up with you sooner than you think.

If you can’t hang out with your long-time friends without falling back into bad habits, it’s time to make a change.

5. Let go because you don’t have the same life goals

Everyone reaches a point when they realize their life goals differ from their friends’. While it’s okay to keep them around in small doses, when you’re looking to make a giant change in your life, you have to accept that things won’t be the same.

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For example, if you’re focusing on a serious relationship and trying to build a family, you won’t have loads of time to spend going out with other friends. It might be hard to get used to the change, but once you take the big step, you’ll see how rewarding your lifestyle change can be.

6. Let go because you’re doing all the work

You always make the plans, only to have your friend cancel last minute. Take that hint and find others who actually want to spend time with you.

Maybe the other party is feeling your friendship peter out, but is afraid to say anything. Whatever the case may be, you don’t want to be a bother to someone you care about. Maybe they’re just going through a change of their own, and will come back to you when the time is right. But if you push them, they might not.

7. Let go because they aren’t pushing you to be a better person

Although it’s okay to have people whom you simply enjoy being around, your best friends need to inspire you. Actively seek out people who are motivated, optimistic, and hard-working. Simply “hanging out” with people will get you nowhere, and you’ll look back and realize you were just passing the time until something (or someone) better came around.

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When you find the people who always make you want to better yourself, you’ve found the right group.

8. Let go because you don’t want or need them in your life

Duh! It sounds pretty obvious, but you don’t have obligation to be friends with anyone. Focus on being yourself and making sure you’re happy. If you don’t need someone in your life, you shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving them behind. You might not want to hurt anyone, but that also doesn’t mean you should suffer, either.

If you’ve ever felt like you “had to” meet up with someone, rather than genuinely wanting to, you should reevaluate the way you treat your own self.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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