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20 Things Everyone Deserves in a Relationship

20 Things Everyone Deserves in a Relationship

Are you in a happy relationship? A good relationship brings out the best traits in someone, making them happier, more open, loving and accepting. However, a bad relationship can be emotionally damaging. Check out these 20 things everyone deserves to have in a relationship.

1. Laughter

Your partner may have a totally different sense of humor than you, but they should still make you laugh and smile. Loving someone means wanting to see them happy, so a happy relationship is normally filled with side-splitting laughter and silly inside jokes.

2. Someone to go on adventures with

The world is filled with interesting places, from the places you haven’t explored in your town to other countries. A happy relationship involves two people who want to share new experiences and adventures with each other, not people who hold each other back and keep each other inside.

3. Security

An important part of a happy relationship is being able to rely on your partner. You should be able to be able to have a bad day where you feel upset or angry without fearing that your partner will leave you.

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4. Someone who is always excited to see you

After a few years of being with each other, you may not have butterflies in your stomach when you first see each other, but you should still be happy and excited to see each other. Even when you’re in a terrible mood, seeing your partner should make you feel happier, rather than worse.

5. Passion

Spontaneous kisses and passionate sex are a lot of fun. Even if it doesn’t happen often, you should know that your partner loves you and finds you irresistible.

6. Someone to stay up late with

From staying out drinking to sitting up outside gazing at stars, every once in a while your partner should make you want to stay up so you can enjoy the world and have fun.

7. Someone who challenges you

In a happy relationship both partners look up to each other and admire each other. Instead of bringing each other down, you deserve to feel challenged by each other, and to open each other’s minds to new ideas and concepts.

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8. Little gestures

Little gestures like cooking your favorite meals or making you a homemade birthday cards, show that you love each other. These little gestures show your partner that you think about them all the time, and that you know and love them for who they are.

9. Understanding

Maybe you cry whenever you watch romantic comedies, and maybe you like to dip your chips in melted chocolate–if so, your partner should understand that. Even if they don’t want to do it with you, they should understand that you are your own person with your own quirks. They should love you for every little quirk.

10. Someone to be silly with

Life is hard, and it is important that your partner is someone who you can let go and be silly with. From dancing in the kitchen as you cook to play-fighting, you should be able to relax and have fun with your partner even when times are hard.

11. Someone who cheers you on

In a great relationship, both partners are each other’s cheerleaders, cheering each other on with every decision they make. It can be tough living without support, and your partner should offer you unlimited support.

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12. Mutual trust

Your partner shouldn’t worry that you will cheat on them, or that you will take all the money from your joint bank account. You love each other and support each other, and trust is an essential part of that.

13. Respect

In a good relationship, both partners admire and respect each other. After all, you chose to commit to them so you must think they are pretty awesome.

14. A partner in crime

From sneaking alcohol into the cinema to covering for you when you lie to your mom and say you can’t come over because you’re ill, your partner should always be your partner in crime.

15. Freedom

In a healthy relationship, both partners understand that they both need freedom and space from each other to see other people and do their own thing.

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16. Someone who stands up for you

After a long, hard day, you may struggle to stick up for yourself. But if you’re in a happy relationship, your partner should always be in your corner.

17. Someone who will listen to you vent

The new girl in the office is terrible at her job, and your partner is happy to listen to you vent about this for three hours. Instead of telling you to be quiet, they smile with understanding and pass you a cup of coffee–because they know you will do the same for them when they have a hard day.

18. Intimacy

From holding hands to sharing secret looks, your partner should be physically intimate with you as well as emotionally intimate.

19. Open communication

Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and you and your partner should both feel like you can openly discuss anything with each other without fear of being dismissed.

20. A best friend

Your partner should be more than your lover; they should be your best friend, strengthening your bond and loving you unconditionally.

Can you think of anything else that everyone deserves in a relationship? Leave your ideas in the comments.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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