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20 Things Everyone Deserves in a Relationship

20 Things Everyone Deserves in a Relationship

Are you in a happy relationship? A good relationship brings out the best traits in someone, making them happier, more open, loving and accepting. However, a bad relationship can be emotionally damaging. Check out these 20 things everyone deserves to have in a relationship.

1. Laughter

Your partner may have a totally different sense of humor than you, but they should still make you laugh and smile. Loving someone means wanting to see them happy, so a happy relationship is normally filled with side-splitting laughter and silly inside jokes.

2. Someone to go on adventures with

The world is filled with interesting places, from the places you haven’t explored in your town to other countries. A happy relationship involves two people who want to share new experiences and adventures with each other, not people who hold each other back and keep each other inside.

3. Security

An important part of a happy relationship is being able to rely on your partner. You should be able to be able to have a bad day where you feel upset or angry without fearing that your partner will leave you.

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4. Someone who is always excited to see you

After a few years of being with each other, you may not have butterflies in your stomach when you first see each other, but you should still be happy and excited to see each other. Even when you’re in a terrible mood, seeing your partner should make you feel happier, rather than worse.

5. Passion

Spontaneous kisses and passionate sex are a lot of fun. Even if it doesn’t happen often, you should know that your partner loves you and finds you irresistible.

6. Someone to stay up late with

From staying out drinking to sitting up outside gazing at stars, every once in a while your partner should make you want to stay up so you can enjoy the world and have fun.

7. Someone who challenges you

In a happy relationship both partners look up to each other and admire each other. Instead of bringing each other down, you deserve to feel challenged by each other, and to open each other’s minds to new ideas and concepts.

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8. Little gestures

Little gestures like cooking your favorite meals or making you a homemade birthday cards, show that you love each other. These little gestures show your partner that you think about them all the time, and that you know and love them for who they are.

9. Understanding

Maybe you cry whenever you watch romantic comedies, and maybe you like to dip your chips in melted chocolate–if so, your partner should understand that. Even if they don’t want to do it with you, they should understand that you are your own person with your own quirks. They should love you for every little quirk.

10. Someone to be silly with

Life is hard, and it is important that your partner is someone who you can let go and be silly with. From dancing in the kitchen as you cook to play-fighting, you should be able to relax and have fun with your partner even when times are hard.

11. Someone who cheers you on

In a great relationship, both partners are each other’s cheerleaders, cheering each other on with every decision they make. It can be tough living without support, and your partner should offer you unlimited support.

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12. Mutual trust

Your partner shouldn’t worry that you will cheat on them, or that you will take all the money from your joint bank account. You love each other and support each other, and trust is an essential part of that.

13. Respect

In a good relationship, both partners admire and respect each other. After all, you chose to commit to them so you must think they are pretty awesome.

14. A partner in crime

From sneaking alcohol into the cinema to covering for you when you lie to your mom and say you can’t come over because you’re ill, your partner should always be your partner in crime.

15. Freedom

In a healthy relationship, both partners understand that they both need freedom and space from each other to see other people and do their own thing.

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16. Someone who stands up for you

After a long, hard day, you may struggle to stick up for yourself. But if you’re in a happy relationship, your partner should always be in your corner.

17. Someone who will listen to you vent

The new girl in the office is terrible at her job, and your partner is happy to listen to you vent about this for three hours. Instead of telling you to be quiet, they smile with understanding and pass you a cup of coffee–because they know you will do the same for them when they have a hard day.

18. Intimacy

From holding hands to sharing secret looks, your partner should be physically intimate with you as well as emotionally intimate.

19. Open communication

Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and you and your partner should both feel like you can openly discuss anything with each other without fear of being dismissed.

20. A best friend

Your partner should be more than your lover; they should be your best friend, strengthening your bond and loving you unconditionally.

Can you think of anything else that everyone deserves in a relationship? Leave your ideas in the comments.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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