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10 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Men

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10 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Men

Most men are shadows of their former selves that have died a long time ago.There was a time when they were passionate and adventurous. There was a time when they wanted to conquer the world and show everyone that they have what it takes to be a real man. Unfortunately, this time is long gone. Along the way, something happened. Life happened.

They didn’t achieve their goals on the first try and then gave up on their dreams without ever trying again. As a result, they came to the conclusion that their dream of living an extraordinary life was nothing but an unrealistic illusion. These are the same men who complain that no women are interested in them.

On the other hand, there are guys who didn’t give up on their dreams and who continue to improve and to challenge themselves every day, no matter how often they fall down and have to get up again. These are highly desirable men who get the job, the relationships, and the life they want. Let’s have a look at the 10 characteristics that you need to have if you want to become one of those men.

 

1. They reveal their authentic self

Highly desirable men don’t have to hide behind a mask. They don’t have to pretend to be someone they are not. They know that the people they meet want to get to know their real selves and not some fake mask that they put on in order to hide their insecurities.

While other men try to convince the people around them that they are perfect in the hope that nobody sees their internal conflicts, a desirable men accepts his vulnerable side and isn’t afraid to show it to the world. Real men have the courage to accept their vulnerable side, while boys continue to hide behind a mask.

 

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2. They treat other people with respect

Respect is a two way street. The people around you will treat you with the same respect that you have for them. Life is so much easier when you treat the people in your life in a respectful way. Instead of hate, you will attract love, and instead of toxic relationships, your internal attitude will attract healthy relationships.

However, other people are not the only ones who you should treat with respect. A truly desirable man treats himself with the same respect that he treats other people with.

 

3. They love women

It was Zan Perrion, one of the greatest romancers of this day and age, who said that a man who loves women and proclaims it to the world is loved by women. It is quite shocking to see how many male bloggers write about women as if they were the enemy. The problem is that a man who regards women as his enemy will never be able to attract emotionally healthy women in his life, which eventually leads to more frustration and hate.

In the same was that you don’t want to date a woman who hates men, a woman doesn’t want to date a man who hates women. If you want to become a man who is desired by women, you have to rethink your attitude towards them and learn to love them. Women are amazing, intelligent, and loving human beings who deserve your love.

 

4. They do work that matters

If you work in a job you hate and nobody in your company cares about what you are doing, you should prepare yourself for a change. We men want to build, establish, and grow things. When we do work that doesn’t matter to us, the flame that enlightens our passionate and creative side has not enough oxygen to survive. If we miss this piece of the puzzle, our life feels empty.

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A desirable man doesn’t waste his time with work that doesn’t have any meaning for him and the people who pay him to do it. He doesn’t settle for a job until he finds something meaningful.

 

5. They value a supportive relationship

Some men are so desperate that they don’t care if they have a supportive girlfriend or a girlfriend who doesn’t support them on their journey, as long as they have one. Some men are not ready for love and will subconsciously sabotage every fulfilling relationship they have.

A desirable man doesn’t do that. As the great man you are, you value a supportive relationship. You are not afraid of love and commitment, even though so many other men are absolutely terrified of this emotional cocktail. You are ready to settle down with a truly amazing woman who supports you on your journey, and you appreciate every second you spend with her.

 

6. They follow their own path

There are a lot of distractions on the path to success, but a great man ignores those distractions and follows his own path. As a desirable man, you listen to the opinions of your family members and friends and you thank them for their input, but in the end you always follow your heart.

If your intuition tells you to turn left and your parents tell you to turn right because they think that this way is safer, you should always turn left. Follow your path and you will eventually reach your harbor.

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7. They are willing to take risks

If there is no risk, there is no reward. No matter what you want to achieve in life, you have to take risks to get it. That’s why women are magically drawn to ambitious men and often mistakenly labeled as gold diggers. They are not attracted to men who are financially successful, but to men who have the potential to become successful. If you are a potential winner, you will get the first prize.

This can be the girl of your dreams, the house of your dreams, or the fast car that you dreamed of when you were a little boy. The only way to get any of those things is by taking risks, and the only way to become a desirable man is by being a risk-taker.

 

8. They have a plan for life

Do you have a plan? Most men don’t. A lot of guys don’t take the time to think about what they really want in life. They have absolutely no clue how the hell they ended up in the position they are in and where the journey will take them. If you ask them where they see themselves in ten years they can’t give you an answer. Don’t be that kind of guy.

No woman wants to be together with a guy who has no idea if he will be homeless in ten years or president of the United States of America. Take your time and think about your next destination. Once you know where the journey will take you, women want to follow you until you reach your destination.

 

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9. They are emotionally strong

A man who is desired by women doesn’t cry when something doesn’t work out the way he planned. He doesn’t sink into depression as soon as he fails. Instead, he analyzes why it didn’t work and he finds a way to make it work. In order to belong to the group of highly desirable men, you have to be emotionally strong.

You can’t be a guy who falls down like a tree without roots as soon as you have to overcome an obstacle, yet still expect women to admire you. Your emotional strength is the proof that you are a man who is able to survive the pitfalls of life. I hope you know that women want survivors.

 

10. They make an impact on the world

A truly desirable man is a man who doesn’t only care about his own life, but who also cares about the lives of the people around him. He wants to make an impact and he doesn’t plan to leave the world without changing a few lives.

There are many ways to make an impact on the world. You can either contribute by supporting charity projects, or you can contribute by helping people to achieve their goals by mentoring and supporting them. No matter what path you choose, giving back and helping others is the greatest gift that you can give to the world. In return, you will get more than you could possibly ask for.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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