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10 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Men

10 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Men

Most men are shadows of their former selves that have died a long time ago.There was a time when they were passionate and adventurous. There was a time when they wanted to conquer the world and show everyone that they have what it takes to be a real man. Unfortunately, this time is long gone. Along the way, something happened. Life happened.

They didn’t achieve their goals on the first try and then gave up on their dreams without ever trying again. As a result, they came to the conclusion that their dream of living an extraordinary life was nothing but an unrealistic illusion. These are the same men who complain that no women are interested in them.

On the other hand, there are guys who didn’t give up on their dreams and who continue to improve and to challenge themselves every day, no matter how often they fall down and have to get up again. These are highly desirable men who get the job, the relationships, and the life they want. Let’s have a look at the 10 characteristics that you need to have if you want to become one of those men.

 

1. They reveal their authentic self

Highly desirable men don’t have to hide behind a mask. They don’t have to pretend to be someone they are not. They know that the people they meet want to get to know their real selves and not some fake mask that they put on in order to hide their insecurities.

While other men try to convince the people around them that they are perfect in the hope that nobody sees their internal conflicts, a desirable men accepts his vulnerable side and isn’t afraid to show it to the world. Real men have the courage to accept their vulnerable side, while boys continue to hide behind a mask.

 

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2. They treat other people with respect

Respect is a two way street. The people around you will treat you with the same respect that you have for them. Life is so much easier when you treat the people in your life in a respectful way. Instead of hate, you will attract love, and instead of toxic relationships, your internal attitude will attract healthy relationships.

However, other people are not the only ones who you should treat with respect. A truly desirable man treats himself with the same respect that he treats other people with.

 

3. They love women

It was Zan Perrion, one of the greatest romancers of this day and age, who said that a man who loves women and proclaims it to the world is loved by women. It is quite shocking to see how many male bloggers write about women as if they were the enemy. The problem is that a man who regards women as his enemy will never be able to attract emotionally healthy women in his life, which eventually leads to more frustration and hate.

In the same was that you don’t want to date a woman who hates men, a woman doesn’t want to date a man who hates women. If you want to become a man who is desired by women, you have to rethink your attitude towards them and learn to love them. Women are amazing, intelligent, and loving human beings who deserve your love.

 

4. They do work that matters

If you work in a job you hate and nobody in your company cares about what you are doing, you should prepare yourself for a change. We men want to build, establish, and grow things. When we do work that doesn’t matter to us, the flame that enlightens our passionate and creative side has not enough oxygen to survive. If we miss this piece of the puzzle, our life feels empty.

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A desirable man doesn’t waste his time with work that doesn’t have any meaning for him and the people who pay him to do it. He doesn’t settle for a job until he finds something meaningful.

 

5. They value a supportive relationship

Some men are so desperate that they don’t care if they have a supportive girlfriend or a girlfriend who doesn’t support them on their journey, as long as they have one. Some men are not ready for love and will subconsciously sabotage every fulfilling relationship they have.

A desirable man doesn’t do that. As the great man you are, you value a supportive relationship. You are not afraid of love and commitment, even though so many other men are absolutely terrified of this emotional cocktail. You are ready to settle down with a truly amazing woman who supports you on your journey, and you appreciate every second you spend with her.

 

6. They follow their own path

There are a lot of distractions on the path to success, but a great man ignores those distractions and follows his own path. As a desirable man, you listen to the opinions of your family members and friends and you thank them for their input, but in the end you always follow your heart.

If your intuition tells you to turn left and your parents tell you to turn right because they think that this way is safer, you should always turn left. Follow your path and you will eventually reach your harbor.

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7. They are willing to take risks

If there is no risk, there is no reward. No matter what you want to achieve in life, you have to take risks to get it. That’s why women are magically drawn to ambitious men and often mistakenly labeled as gold diggers. They are not attracted to men who are financially successful, but to men who have the potential to become successful. If you are a potential winner, you will get the first prize.

This can be the girl of your dreams, the house of your dreams, or the fast car that you dreamed of when you were a little boy. The only way to get any of those things is by taking risks, and the only way to become a desirable man is by being a risk-taker.

 

8. They have a plan for life

Do you have a plan? Most men don’t. A lot of guys don’t take the time to think about what they really want in life. They have absolutely no clue how the hell they ended up in the position they are in and where the journey will take them. If you ask them where they see themselves in ten years they can’t give you an answer. Don’t be that kind of guy.

No woman wants to be together with a guy who has no idea if he will be homeless in ten years or president of the United States of America. Take your time and think about your next destination. Once you know where the journey will take you, women want to follow you until you reach your destination.

 

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9. They are emotionally strong

A man who is desired by women doesn’t cry when something doesn’t work out the way he planned. He doesn’t sink into depression as soon as he fails. Instead, he analyzes why it didn’t work and he finds a way to make it work. In order to belong to the group of highly desirable men, you have to be emotionally strong.

You can’t be a guy who falls down like a tree without roots as soon as you have to overcome an obstacle, yet still expect women to admire you. Your emotional strength is the proof that you are a man who is able to survive the pitfalls of life. I hope you know that women want survivors.

 

10. They make an impact on the world

A truly desirable man is a man who doesn’t only care about his own life, but who also cares about the lives of the people around him. He wants to make an impact and he doesn’t plan to leave the world without changing a few lives.

There are many ways to make an impact on the world. You can either contribute by supporting charity projects, or you can contribute by helping people to achieve their goals by mentoring and supporting them. No matter what path you choose, giving back and helping others is the greatest gift that you can give to the world. In return, you will get more than you could possibly ask for.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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