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15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

15 Things To Forget If You’re Not Satisfied With Your Life

If you’re feeling frustrated and stuck, it’s probably time to make some changes in your life. Otherwise, you’ll likely continue to feel dissatisfied. As Tony Robbins said, “By changing nothing, nothing changes.”

It can be difficult to make changes in your life, but if you want a different outcome, it’s necessary. Just as important as “what to do” advice to change your life is “what not to do; what to forget” advice.

Here are 15 things to forget if you’re not satisfied with your life.

1. Forget to ask permission

If you’re waiting for everyone in your life to approve of a change you want to make – whether it is starting your own business, changing careers, relocating, or adopting a new lifestyle – you will never change. Choose wisely who you seek approval from, and tune out the others.

Start today: Write a list of people whose opinion of your life should truly matter.

2. Forget negativity

A negative mindset only makes you feel worse. Practicing an attitude of gratitude; an attitude of thankfulness and abundance instead of jealousy and scarcity, will help you immediately feel more satisfied with your life.  According to Oprah Winfrey, “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

Start today: Start a gratitude list and hang it somewhere visible, such as your bathroom mirror. Each day, add something you are thankful for to your list. You will soon realize you have a lot of goodness in your life.

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3. Forget the past

Maybe you’ve been fired from a job, have a history of broken relationships, or have been rejected repetitively when applying for graduate school. Guess what? Nobody cares. You might feel like the whole world has seen your setbacks, but they really haven’t. The world is huge; there are millions of people who have no idea what you’ve gone through. If the past is holding you back from the life you want to have, it’s time to work on letting go.

Start today: If you feel you’re carrying major baggage around, it’s time to make an appointment with a counselor, therapist, or coach, depending on your specific situation.

4. Forget procrastination

How many time-suckers do you give your hours to every week? Time is our most precious resource, and wasting it on mind-numbing activities can drain it quickly. If you struggle with procrastinating, work on setting yourself a schedule every day. Writing down your to-do items on your schedule will help ensure that they get accomplished, and also help you visualize where you’re actually spending your time and what you tend to procrastinate.

Start today: Write out a schedule of your tasks for tomorrow.

5. Forget about immediate gratification

Immediate gratification feels great now, but not so good long-term. Make decisions from your future. Think about who you want to be, and make today’s decisions based on future you. For example, if your long-term goal is to spend a year traveling the world, you’ll need to save some money for your future endeavor. When you are tempted to upgrade your cell phone plan or purchase a new vehicle, think about whether the future you, the one who is exploring the world, would like you to spend or save that money now. More than likely, you’d be thankful in the future for saving money now.

Start today: When you purchase something today, see if there is a more economical option, and save the difference for a future expensive goal.

6. Forget about cultural norms

It doesn’t matter if society says you should work 9-5 at a job you don’t really like and retire at 62. If that’s not the lifestyle you like, give yourself the freedom to break free from the norms.

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Start today: Research one inspiring person who has paved his or her own trail.

7. Forget the time it takes

A goal that takes many years to accomplish can be overwhelming. It may be daunting, and take a long time, but if it’s something that’s truly your heart’s desire, that’s perfectly fine! Whether or not you move toward that goal, eventually you’ll be a decade older. If you want to be more satisfied 10 years from now, take steps today to move toward that goal.

Start today: Write down one large, 10-year goal you have.

8. Forget about toxic people

Toxic people can quickly drain your positivity and hope. As Jim Rohn, a businessman, said: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Spending time with toxic people might be a big part of your problem if you’re not satisfied with your life. If you want to be more satisfied, hang out with the following groups of people: people who are doing what you want to do, and people who have infectiously awesome outlooks on life. Surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging people can help you feel more happy and satisfied.

Start today: Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Is there a toxic person in your inner circle?

9. Forget about having everything planned out

If you wait until you have every detail planned out before you start a new endeavor, you’ll never start. It’s easy to get caught in analysis paralysis mode, where you’re constantly researching but not really making any forward progress.

Start today: Decide that you have enough information about one of your goals to actually start the project. You can study more of what you need to know along the way. Taking the first step forward is the most important step; without it you will never start.

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10. Forget about blaming everybody

Harboring anger toward someone who has wronged you hurts you and holds you back from living the wonderful life you deserve. Forget about spending excessive amounts of time blaming others for your current life situation. It does you no good. This doesn’t mean you have to feel completely happy toward somebody who has been malicious toward you; it just means you aren’t going to let thoughts about that person continue to hurt you as the years go on.

Start today: Focus on the positives of the future.

11. Forget about material items

If you want to be satisfied with your life, there are ample studies showing that having more money and material items, past a certain point, do not increase life satisfaction. You really only need a few things to be content: safety, nourishment for your body, connection with others, work that is meaningful and stimulating to you, and a feeling that you’re part of something greater than yourself. You don’t need a million new toys or the latest gadgets. It doesn’t matter if your neighbors have the “best” everything. Get over it.

Start today: Begin a decluttering habit by cleaning out one drawer in your home. Decluttering can set you free from materialism, and also free your physical space and mind so you have more room in your life for what you love.

12. Forget your uncertainty

When you think about making a change in your life, your mind may start racing as you consider all the “what ifs.” Here’s the deal: there will always be uncertainty. You will never know the future. Being able to embrace this uncertainty and realizing you’ll have to take some risks to get unstuck is key to being satisfied.

Start today: Think about a big dream you have for your life. When the “what ifs” and doubts fill your mind (and they will!), replace those thoughts with the positive version of “yes, but what if…” with all of the great things chasing that dream could bring into your life. For example, if you want to start a business, and every time you think of it you immediately think “what if I fail?”, replace the thought with “yes, but what if I succeed?” and let your imagination run wild in that direction instead.

13. Forget changing everything at once

If you’re not satisfied with your life, it can be tempting to want to revamp your entire life all at once. But actually, choosing one habit at a time to focus on may be a better option. If you focus on changing one habit, one week at a time, you can analyze whether or not your habit change is working for you, and tweak it as needed. I frequently recommend working on exercising first; exercise is a mood booster and makes us feel empowered. As we challenge our bodies and improve our health, we feel like we can tackle other areas of our lives we want to change.

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Start today: Choose one area in your life you’d like to change. Write down a small goal within that area for each day of this week (For example, bring a healthy snack to work instead of going to the vending machine every day). As you meet your small goals, you’ll gain the momentum to work toward larger goals (For example, fuel your body with healthy foods 90% of the time).

14. Forget about waiting for someone else to lead you

If there is something in your life you want to change, chances are, there are others in your life with a similar goal. Choose to be a leader and seek them out. Unsatisfied with your health? Find a buddy to cook some healthy meals with, or exercise together over your lunch hour with a coworker.

Start today: Think about something you’ve been wanting to do. Email your coworkers or friends and ask if anybody’s interested in joining you on your mission.

15. Forget about doing it alone

When you desire to change your life, find an accountability partner. This can be a family member, friend, personal coach, or mentor. Having someone to encourage you, inspire you, and keep you on track when you’re discouraged is extremely important.

Start today: Ask someone to be your accountability partner for a specific area in your life you’d like to improve.

Take away points:

It’s difficult to feel dissatisfied in your life. The good news is that your life is a story, and you get to write a lot of it. There will obviously be things in your life that are out of control, but practicing an attitude of gratitude, surrounding yourself with positive people, enjoying the ride of life’s uncertainties, and writing down your goals will greatly help increase your life satisfaction.

Featured photo credit: Think/Nastya Birdy via flickr.com

More by this author

Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

Feeling Stuck? How to Never Get Stuck in Life Again How to Find the Purpose of Life (A Case Study of a High-Powered Woman) Don’t like your job? Here are some solutions. How People Make Decisions That Are Bad For Them How to Have a Successful Career and a Fulfilling Personal Life

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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