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8 Things People With Anxiety Want to Tell Their Loved Ones

8 Things People With Anxiety Want to Tell Their Loved Ones

Living with anxiety is incredibly tough. Loving someone with anxiety can be equally as painful, in my different ways. If you love someone who suffers from anxiety, the most you can really do for them is be understanding, and be there when they need support. By doing so, you’re doing more than you even know for the person you love. You need to know that:

1. We get overwhelmed easily

In today’s world, there’s much to do everyday, and so little time in which to do it. A long to-do list may be crippling to a person who suffers from anxiety, especially if it involves meeting with a variety of people and traveling to a variety of places. Anxious people hate to multitask, and will often focus on one problem or issue at a time until it’s completely resolved. By prioritizing our day, we hope to alleviate some of the pressure felt when bombarded with a laundry list of tasks.

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2. We burn out easily

Anxious people are usually introverts. Simply being out in public is taxing to their stamina and well-being. At the end of a day’s work, they need time to sit on the couch and zone out for a little while. During this time, they will also often reflect on their day. This can either be a good or bad thing, depending on how their day went. Let them have their space, and once they have recharged their batteries, so to speak, you’ll both be able to enjoy your evening together.

3. We know we’re being irrational

Most of the time, anxious people know they’re getting worked up over nothing. Unfortunately, that’s the nature of the beast. It’s a vicious cycle: We get worked up over something fairly insignificant, then get more worked up at the fact that we got so worked up in the first place. During these times, it’s best to just let the anxiety run its course. Just be there for your loved one until the moment passes; that’s all the assurance they need to know everything will eventually be okay.

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4. We panic more when you call attention to it

Like I said, just be there for the person. Asking if there’s “anything you can do” may seem like the status quo, but it simply won’t help. Of course, once you ask that, the person will get more freaked out that there isn’t anything you can do to fix it, and will feel bad that you feel bad, and the vicious cycle will continue. If you want to talk about ways to help during a panic attack, talk about it during a relaxing evening when your loved one’s anxiety has taken the night off.

5. We don’t let go easily

Again, we know we’re being irrational, but when you spill your morning coffee on your important papers, it’s hard to believe the rest of the day will get any better. We know it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy (ie: If we keep looking for bad things to happen all day, we’ll find them), but it’s hard to shake the feeling that “today will not be my day.” Getting yelled at by a boss, or getting cut off on our way to lunch…all of these completely unconnected experiences will pile up throughout a day to make it seem like a conspiracy against our own happiness. Let us vent, and do your best to help alleviate our frustration after it’s all over.

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6. We find change difficult

Anxious people are pretty set in their ways. They usually plan ahead in order to prioritize their days, so nothing sneaks up on them. However, life is full of contingencies. For a regimented person, any small change in schedule can be disastrous. If an anxious person had planned to cash his check at lunch, and the bank happened to be closed for its employees’ lunch, he’ll spend the rest of the day worrying that he won’t be able to make it before 5:00 rolls around that afternoon. Being anxious is simply not conducive to today’s busy, ever-changing world.

7. We need for you to listen

We know we’re being irrational, but we just want to be heard. Don’t blow us off. Don’t give us that “you’re just being anxious again” look. Understand that each panic attack is unique, and that if we could help it, we undoubtedly would. We just need you to be there for us in our time of need. Again, listen to our concerns. Talking won’t help much; if we can’t help ourselves, we won’t listen to anyone else. Recognize when it’s best to stay silent and open your arms for us.

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8. We appreciate all you do

Knowing we’re irrational, and that we must be a pain to take care of sometimes, we truly to appreciate all the effort you put into loving us. It truly means the world to us that you look past the ugly moments, and focus on the best parts of us. We appreciate that you want to help us, but restrain yourself when you know we’re too far gone. We appreciate you being there when no one else is. And know that whenever you need us, we’ll gladly repay the favor.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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