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8 Things People With Anxiety Want to Tell Their Loved Ones

8 Things People With Anxiety Want to Tell Their Loved Ones

Living with anxiety is incredibly tough. Loving someone with anxiety can be equally as painful, in my different ways. If you love someone who suffers from anxiety, the most you can really do for them is be understanding, and be there when they need support. By doing so, you’re doing more than you even know for the person you love. You need to know that:

1. We get overwhelmed easily

In today’s world, there’s much to do everyday, and so little time in which to do it. A long to-do list may be crippling to a person who suffers from anxiety, especially if it involves meeting with a variety of people and traveling to a variety of places. Anxious people hate to multitask, and will often focus on one problem or issue at a time until it’s completely resolved. By prioritizing our day, we hope to alleviate some of the pressure felt when bombarded with a laundry list of tasks.

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2. We burn out easily

Anxious people are usually introverts. Simply being out in public is taxing to their stamina and well-being. At the end of a day’s work, they need time to sit on the couch and zone out for a little while. During this time, they will also often reflect on their day. This can either be a good or bad thing, depending on how their day went. Let them have their space, and once they have recharged their batteries, so to speak, you’ll both be able to enjoy your evening together.

3. We know we’re being irrational

Most of the time, anxious people know they’re getting worked up over nothing. Unfortunately, that’s the nature of the beast. It’s a vicious cycle: We get worked up over something fairly insignificant, then get more worked up at the fact that we got so worked up in the first place. During these times, it’s best to just let the anxiety run its course. Just be there for your loved one until the moment passes; that’s all the assurance they need to know everything will eventually be okay.

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4. We panic more when you call attention to it

Like I said, just be there for the person. Asking if there’s “anything you can do” may seem like the status quo, but it simply won’t help. Of course, once you ask that, the person will get more freaked out that there isn’t anything you can do to fix it, and will feel bad that you feel bad, and the vicious cycle will continue. If you want to talk about ways to help during a panic attack, talk about it during a relaxing evening when your loved one’s anxiety has taken the night off.

5. We don’t let go easily

Again, we know we’re being irrational, but when you spill your morning coffee on your important papers, it’s hard to believe the rest of the day will get any better. We know it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy (ie: If we keep looking for bad things to happen all day, we’ll find them), but it’s hard to shake the feeling that “today will not be my day.” Getting yelled at by a boss, or getting cut off on our way to lunch…all of these completely unconnected experiences will pile up throughout a day to make it seem like a conspiracy against our own happiness. Let us vent, and do your best to help alleviate our frustration after it’s all over.

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6. We find change difficult

Anxious people are pretty set in their ways. They usually plan ahead in order to prioritize their days, so nothing sneaks up on them. However, life is full of contingencies. For a regimented person, any small change in schedule can be disastrous. If an anxious person had planned to cash his check at lunch, and the bank happened to be closed for its employees’ lunch, he’ll spend the rest of the day worrying that he won’t be able to make it before 5:00 rolls around that afternoon. Being anxious is simply not conducive to today’s busy, ever-changing world.

7. We need for you to listen

We know we’re being irrational, but we just want to be heard. Don’t blow us off. Don’t give us that “you’re just being anxious again” look. Understand that each panic attack is unique, and that if we could help it, we undoubtedly would. We just need you to be there for us in our time of need. Again, listen to our concerns. Talking won’t help much; if we can’t help ourselves, we won’t listen to anyone else. Recognize when it’s best to stay silent and open your arms for us.

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8. We appreciate all you do

Knowing we’re irrational, and that we must be a pain to take care of sometimes, we truly to appreciate all the effort you put into loving us. It truly means the world to us that you look past the ugly moments, and focus on the best parts of us. We appreciate that you want to help us, but restrain yourself when you know we’re too far gone. We appreciate you being there when no one else is. And know that whenever you need us, we’ll gladly repay the favor.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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