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6 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Mental Illness

6 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Mental Illness

How often do we hear someone say “I’m so depressed!” Or “I’m so ADD!”  Usually, people are using these terms in a casual fashion to refer to a temporary, down mood or to comment on their mildly scattered state of mind. Unfortunately, stigma and misinformation about actual illnesses still exist. A mental illness is a disturbance of mood, thinking, or behavior. The individual’s symptoms may be mild or debilitating, but they undermine his or her ability to function in daily life. Some of the most common mental illnesses are depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness,  approximately 1 in 5 adults in the United States has an episode of some type of mental illness in a given year, and many individuals are never diagnosed.  Loving a person with a mental illness can be challenging, but many resources are available to help you cope. Below are truths to common misconceptions that people have about mental illness and how it affects a person’s character and personality.

1. Mental illness is not a character flaw

Even today, many people believe that depression and other mental disorders are the result of a negative attitude or some other character flaw. Often individuals with mental illness have this belief, too, and feel guilty that they can’t “kick” the disorder on their own. The most helpful thing you can do as a loved one is to remember that they didn’t choose the illness.   An abundance of research exists to show that mental illnesses have a number of causes, ranging from genetic causes to faulty activity in crucial parts of the brain.  Reminding your loved one that he or she has an illness, not a character flaw, is a way to be supportive.

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2.  Treatment can be very effective for people with mental illness

Unfortunately, there is still a stigma against seeking therapy or psychiatric treatment. Some people might think therapy and psychiatry is only for “crazy” people. The individual with the illness might be afraid to seek help for this reason, especially if his or her family is opposed to psychiatric treatment. To give another example, someone with depression might feel that nothing can help them, and that seeking treatment is pointless. (Feelings of hopelessness are common in depression, for example). Treatment can be very effective, especially when it is encouraged by family members and loved ones. Sharing your own experiences with therapy may boost your loved one book that first appointment.

3. They are committed to sometimes difficult treatment

Depending on the type of mental illness, your loved one may need long-term treatment. If medication is necessary, it may take a while to find the right medication. Some medications have side effects, and it can be a discouraging process trying to find the right treatment. The individual may at times feel like dropping out of treatment altogether. You can help by reminding him or her that while it’s difficult sometimes, not treating the illness will only make it worse. Again, openness about your own struggles (whether they be with relationships, mental health, or dealing with difficult situations) can encourage your loved one to stick it out.

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4. People with mental illnesses can have full lives

Especially in the early stages of treatment, individuals may struggle with accepting their condition, and feel like they are destined to be “outsiders” in life. You can remind your loved one that with proper treatment many individuals are living full, stable lives with a mental illness. In addition, many great contributions to our society have been made by people with mental illness. One example is Kay Redfield Jamison, a psychiatrist with bipolar disorder, who has written many books on the subject of bipolar. Not only is it possible to deal with a mental illness, a person can actually learn to overcome it and be an example for others. While it may seem far away — it is possible to have a full life just like everyone else!

5. A diagnosis does not define a person

Some individuals may start to identify themselves by their illness, and have self-limiting beliefs about what they are capable of. You can help by reminding them of their strengths, interests, and the things they have achieved. Labels and diagnoses are necessary when professionals are discussing recovery. It’s important that the individual remember, however, that he or she is a multi-dimensional human being behind the diagnosis. Once under control and well-understood, a mental illness can be another part of a very complex persona. Just like the color of your hair doesn’t define you, neither does your mental illness.

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6. People with mental illness can learn to communicate

Coping with mental illness, including treatment and recovery, can be a rollercoaster ride. At times, the individual can feel so overwhelmed by emotion that he or she retreats into silence. This can be frustrating for the person who just wants to help.  A helpful thing to say at these times is “I may not understand what you are going through, but I want you to know I care. Please let me know what I can do to support you.” Allow them time to explain their feelings and you may be able to relate in your own way.

Coping with a mental illness can be challenging, and understanding the ups and downs of the person experiencing the conditions can be confusing. But with education, treatment, and support, individuals with mental illness can live happy, full, and successful lives.  Their most important tool of recovery is the people around them who care, like you.

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Featured photo credit: Sad Young Man/Deposit Photos via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on August 13, 2018

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.

They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.

Don Juan

    1. Cardio for Stamina

    If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.

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    Triathlon symbol
      • Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
      • Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
      • Swimming – 30 minutes a day
      • Cycling – 30 minutes a day

      The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.

      These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.

      2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core

      The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:

      Barbell squats
        • Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits

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        Zercher squat
          • Zercher squatsthis type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.

          Glute bridge
            • Glute bridgethis exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.

            Hyperextensions
              • Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.

              Ab wheel rollout
                • Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.

                Cross body crunch
                  • Cross body crunchthis exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.

                  Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.

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                  3. Upper-Body Strength Training

                  Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:

                  Plank exercise
                    • Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.

                    Close grip pushups
                      • Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.

                      Chin ups
                        • Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.

                        These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.

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                        4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises

                        You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.

                        5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips

                        Lion stretching

                          If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:

                          Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.

                          With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.

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