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8 Ways to Raise a Selfless Child

8 Ways to Raise a Selfless Child

Unfortunately, narcissism is all around us. The pressure to succeed (or even simply keep your head above ground) causes many people to lose their altruistic nature. The end up becoming just another rat in the big race to the top. It’s important for parents to stop this trend in its tracks by instilling selfless values in their children that may be contradictory to society’s view of “success,” but will ultimately lead to true happiness.

To avoid raising a narcissistic child, parents should do the following:

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1. Learn to say “no” and mean it

Giving in to a child’s demands every time they throw a tantrum simply teaches them that they will always get their way if they complain enough. Adults know that in the real world, this simply isn’t true. Children need to learn from a young age to delay their gratification, or even resign themselves to the fact that; this time, they won’t be getting what they want. This will teach them to respect authority, thus helping them avoid trouble in their careers later in life.

2. Teach them basic manners

I guess this should be obvious, but there’s a difference between being simply indifferent to others and being friendly to them. In today’s society, there’s a misconception that it’s somehow “okay” to be rude to people in some positions (like assuming a custodian will clean up after you because “it’s their job”). However. the truth is it’s never okay. Teach your children to appreciate the efforts of others that go toward making this world a better place, no matter how prestigious their position may or may not be.

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3. Teach them to manage frustration

Everyone gets frustrated once in a while, but not everyone handles their frustration the same way. Minor setbacks can be annoying, but they shouldn’t completely derail your progress. Unfortunately, there’s another misconception in society; especially in schools, where earning an “F” means you’re stupid and will never succeed. We must instill in our children the notion that failure is not a dead-end, but is simply a bump in the road on the path to success. Children need to understand the only way failure can stop them is if they let it.

4. Teach them life isn’t always fair

If life was fair to everyone, we’d all win the lottery every time we played it. Of course, that would mean we would all split the prize pool and end up getting our money back. (How’s that for a metaphor?) Really, though, there’s no supreme being that decides who has a good day and who has a bad one, no matter how much it may seem like it some days. What we can do for our children is help them recognize the times when things are going well, or well enough, and remind them of these times when things aren’t going so great. The hope is to instill in our children the notion that, in the long run, what we gain in this life is solely up to us.

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5. Be kind to everyone

I alluded to this before, but I feel the need to reiterate that we need to teach our children to respect every single person we come across in our lives. We can do this by modeling kindness to everyone we meet – from the well-dressed businessman to the poor homeless man outside the convenience store. Don’t dismiss someone over a prejudicial thought. You never know who can walk into your life and change it forever. Teaching children to respect everyone will lead them toward a life of open-mindedness and incredible experiences.

6. Travel with them

Speaking of experiences, you should show your kids there’s more to life than their home and local community. Other towns, states, and countries all have minor and major differences in the way in which life is lived. It’s important that children understand this from a young age. It will help them gain worldly perspective. More importantly, they won’t grow up thinking the universe revolves around them. Showing your children other ways of living will open their minds to the myriad possibilities for their future.

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7. Read with them

If you can’t travel at the current time, read with your children instead. Read all sorts of texts: picture books, nature books, novels, kid-friendly newspapers… anything you can get your hands on! First of all, your children will carry a love of reading with them throughout their lives. Secondly, they will gain vast knowledge about the world around them, becoming less self-centered in the process.

8, Do chores with them

The sooner children learn that life isn’t all fun and games, the better. Children don’t innately understand that hard work pays off. They don’t get that their house looks nice because you’ve spent hours cleaning it, or that they can have a nice vacation because you’ve sacrificed time and energy throughout the year. Give them a list of chores, but help them through it. Take a picture of their room before they clean it, and compare it to how it looks after. Give them something concrete so they understand how their efforts have positively affected their lives. They might hate washing the dishes every night, but they’ll understand that it needs to be done – and why they should be the ones to do it.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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