“Successful people are simply those with successful habits.” – Brian Tracy
Most of us hope that by the time we turn 30, life just magically falls into place. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. We can’t just blow the candles out from our thirtieth birthday cake and hit the fast track to life. Success when turning 30 is all relative to personal perspective, and finding that path means identifying what success actually looks like to you.
If you’re turning 30 and have yet to feel successful, don’t be alarmed because you’re not alone. To build a successful future for your thirties and beyond, forget about comparing your life to others, and start putting your energy into mastering theses 15 habits.
“Great people, no matter their field, have similar habits. Learn them and use them in your own quest for greatness.” – Paula Andrew
“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation…I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire.” – The Oprah Winfrey Show
If you are searching for validation from others before you take your first steps to success, you may never get there. Finding validation from within means that you are freeing yourself to trust in your life’s purpose, when no one else does. Once you begin to trust yourself, more people will want to hear what it is you have to say.
Successful people seek self-validation by embracing their own self worth, even when someone is trying to tear them down. While some negative comments can be very constructive for their personal growth, others can be just plain rude. Successful people always remember their life purpose and they always believe in their abilities.
- Don’t take negative comments too seriously
- Do remind yourself of your strengths daily and experiment with daily mantras
2. Body Empowerment
“Thirty was so strange for me. I’ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.” -C.S. Lewis
Your body can be a great tool for success. People tend to base first impression on appearance, so something as subtle as poor posture can really damage your alpha composure, no matter how well dressed you may be.
Successful people empower their body by treating it like a temple. They eat balanced meals with fruits and vegetables to keep a strong mind and a healthy body. They stand tall and confident, insist on eye contact, and they shake hands firmly to debut their confidence. Taking care of their body also means exercising regularly, avoiding fast foods, and dressing the part.
- Don’t let physical limitations determine the rest of your life
- Do know success is not about what you have, but how you use what you have
3. Living In The Now
“One must simply take the days of their lives as they happen. If you spend time worrying over what is to come, which may or may not happen, then you will only be wasting precious days you will wish in the future you could have cherished a bit longer.” ― R.J. Gonzales
You want to live in the present because you can’t change the past and the future is yet to come. Moments can change on a dime, and over planning anything can ultimately become a waste of time. It can be easy to remain stagnant or stuck on an idea, but the goal is to move onward and upward with the present to achieve success.
It’s rare that you will ever find a successful person bogged down from their past. They tend to always express and address all of the skeletons in their closet. Successful people are also always prepared for the unexpected, but continue to keep a strong momentum for the present in order to reach their goals ahead.
- Don’t believe there’s only one way to achieve your success
- Do use past experiences to make wiser decisions in the present
“Order is the sanity of the mind, the health of the body, the peace of the city, the security of the state. Like beams in a house or bones to a body, so is order to all things. – Robert Southey
Organizing your sleep schedule, your work schedule, or even your workout schedule, can help keep you on a productive track. Starting each day with goals and objectives to complete, can really give you something to work towards. Setting aside time for each individual project allows you to feel fulfilled when you see work actually being accomplished.
For successful people, it’s all about schedules and lists. It’s not about planning every second of every day, but simply outlining priorities and listing the steps that are needed to meet deadlines and complete projects on time.
- Don’t navigate around everyone else’s schedule
- Do make time for hobbies, reading, traveling, and relaxing (this is important for your creativity and well-being)
5. Time Management
“Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.” ― Andy Andrews
The older I get the more I realize how valuable time is. There’s only 24 hours in a day, and to make the most of that time, we have to make quick decisions, we have to do what we love, and we have to stop complaining if we are not willing to make a change. To use your time wisely ask yourself, “Am I doing anything right now that is amounting to my life goals?” If not, ask yourself, “What can I be doing right now to help myself succeed?”
J.K. Rowling is a prime example of a successful person who made great use of time. Although she struggled to find work after her divorce, she used her free time to write while her daughter attended school. Creating the “Harry Potter” series, Rowling went from welfare to best-seller because she made use of her unemployment.
- Don’t multitask; this leads to holes in your work
- Do turn 6 individual tasks into 1 bigger task by creating flow in your schedule. i.e Avoid the back and forth commutes to the city and make one big trip, checking one thing off your list at a time.
6. Separation From Technology
“Learning to power-down technology is an important life skill with numerous benefits. It is becoming a lost art in our ever-connected world. But the wisest of us take time to learn the discipline. And live fuller lives because of it.” – Becoming Minimalist (Website)
From personal experience, I’ve been addicted to social media, checking my followers, my likes, my comments, and my messages. It’s strange how quickly it can become a full time job. I soon realized that I needed step away from social media because it was actually more of a burden than it was worth. The trick is to find balance and to not forget the reason why you began your path to success in the first place.
Technology brings much convenience to successful people, but success does not mean being held captive of your own devices like a GPS system. Successful people are people who recognize when they should turn their phone down or off. They understand how important it is to step away from technology to spend time alone or with their family. This is because mental breaks are important for their sanity, and a great way to declutter their active minds.Advertising
- Don’t let your phone and social media notifications own you.
- Do make designated times throughout the day to check yours devices so you can avoid checking for notifications every 3-5 minutes. (wasting time)
7. Selecting The Right Relationships
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
It’s not about cutting everyone out of your life who has ever done you wrong; it’s about surrounding yourself with like-minded people who will put in as much energy as you.
Successful people avoid others who are negative, disabling, and manipulating. It’s easy for a successful person to cut someone out of their life if the relationship does not add up to 50/50.
- Don’t think that you owe anyone your time if they stump your growth or drain your enthusiasm
- Do give time to the people who deserve it
“Critical feedback is the breakfast of champions. Defensiveness is the dinner of losers.” – Dharmesh Shah
Sometimes your feelings can be hurt when someone points out one of your flaws, but it’s part of the territory when you become successful. Being open minded allows to you take criticism and apply it in positive light. Sometimes the judgment of others can just be their fear of the unknown, and you have to just open your mind to their world and understand that they have different thoughts, ideas, belief and values from you, and that’s okay. If not, feedback can really wear you down.
Successful people are accepting to new ideas and have mastered compromise and colabering. They have no expectations of others, other than the truth and respect. By keeping an open mind they put more energy into their self, rather than the business of other people.
- Don’t gossip, spread rumours, or stretch the truth of others.
- Do confront people in private if you hold concerns for their actions and/or words.
9. Supporting Others
“You were born with the ability to change someone’s life – don’t ever waste it.” – Dale Partridge
“Before you dismiss a beginner’s work, remember how much you sucked when you started. You probably sucked worse, actually.” – Jason Fried
Turning 30 means that you should be getting out of any selfish ways to help make a difference. It takes teamwork to be successful and now that you are coming into your own, this is the best time for you to not only surround yourself by mind-liked people, but also encourage them and build lifelong partnerships.
Successful people don’t want to fall down the rabbit hole of comparison. They want to inspire, build, and network with like-minded people that they believe in. It’s all about building unity and working as a team to become successful together. Often they make kind gestures to help others excel without expecting anything in return, however, when a pay it forward gesture is made they are grateful.
- Don’t lead someone for solely your own benefit, be respectable
- Do feel proud to see someone achieve success knowing you played a role in their greatness.
10. Getting Uncomfortable
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar
“Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” – Henry Ford
To be successful in life, you need to take risks. In order to take risks you need to stop worrying about what might happen if it doesn’t work out. Yes, it can mean being in an uncomfortable situation, but instead of looking at something like a financial burden, think of it as an investment in your future.
They are successful because they try new things, and they know that there’s an exception to every rule. Vera Wang, once known as a professional figure skater, moved into fashion with no formal experience. She spent 17 years working as an editor for Vogue, and when she was denied the editor-in-chief position she left the company. For the next two years Vera worked as a design director for Ralph Lauren, but after struggling to find the right dress for her upcoming wedding, she left the company to open “Vera Wang Bridal House Ltd.” The rest is history.
- Don’t stay stagnant if you are not growing
- Do understand that as long as you are not hurting anyone in the process of success, taking risks will help you rise above
11. Letting Go Of Perfection
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
To let go of your type-A personality, sometimes you have to just remind yourself that this will not be your last and only chance. Success is to follow your passion, and passion needs to be implemented into your lifestyle. If you think you will nail everything in one go, you might be fooling yourself.
The main ingredient to success is failure, so it’s no surprise that most successful people have the capacity to let go of perfection to take their first steps. They know that success is ongoing and learning never stops.
- Don’t think that perfection exists, it doesn’t
- Do know that you can make something perfect for you, for the moment, but like time, everything eventually evolves, including your idea of perfection.
12. Addressing Problems
“Telling people ‘no’ does not need to be an act of rejection. Learning to say no the right way can prove you’re an attentive teammate.” – Brian de Haaff, cofounder and CEO of Aha! Labs Inc.
When you address a problem at the root, you are buying yourself time and energy. Whether that’s admitting a mistake before the mistake has even surfaced, keeping open communication with the people around you, or using a strong “No” to avoid unstable situations. None the less, being proactive in every situation will be beneficial to you.
Before anything gets out of hand, successful people like to source the root of their problem as soon as possible. This helps them bypass hours, days, or even weeks of troubleshooting a situation.
- Don’t bush problems under the rug, that’s where problems go to manifest and marinate until they become unmanageable.
- Do be aware of high-risk potential problems (like knowing the fire doors on a airplane), keep a close eye without obsessing.
13. Being A Leader
“If you are honest, truthful, and transparent, people trust you. If people trust you, you have no grounds for fear, suspicion or jealousy.” – Dalai Lama
To be a leader, you mentor the people around you instead of having expectations of them. Success is teaching, rather than barking demands and reminding people why you are the one barking.Advertising
Most successful people are successful because they lead and encourage, rather than bully others around with their “superior” status.
- Don’t gloat, people wont respect that quality
- Do your part, get in the action, get messy, and have fun with the people around you, you’re a team player
14. Working Hard
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’” – Audrey Hepburn
“I will not waste time on second thoughts. My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.” ― Andy Andrews
To make success out of the impossible you have to believe that you can make something out of anything. You have to always go that extra mile, and no matter how crazy of an idea you may have, just go for it. It might just be the next best thing.
At 36 years old, Julia Child, had moved to Paris, France with no experience in great food. It didn’t take long for her interest in French cuisine to spike, steering her in the direction famous Le Cordon Bleu cooking school. By the age of 50 she had published the book “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”, and went on to have her own TV show. Successful people don’t always know what they are going to be successful at, but with healthy lifestyle habits anyone can find success in new or old passions.
- Don’t discourage your ideas because it hasn’t been done before
- Do see opportunity in the untouched field
“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein
“Failure is a prerequisite for great success. If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure.” – Brian Tracy
The goal is to not let any hiccup or roadblock discourage your passion to dream big. Turn that dream into reality and never give up on yourself.
Successful people can’t be stopped once they start. They might not always know what they are trying to achieve in the moments, but all of their failed attempts usually lead to a form of greatness.
- Don’t see failure as a dead-end but as an opportunity to grow
- Do learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others
“For the most part, “naturals” are myths. People who are especially good at something may have some innate inclination, or some particular talent, but they have also spent about ten thousand hours practicing or doing that thing.” ― Meg Jay
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell
Featured photo credit: Man Looking At Sun Whilst Hiking At Red Rock Man/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com
Last Updated on January 16, 2020
12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now
The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.
However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous
Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.
1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.
When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.
Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success. As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’
2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).
That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”
Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.
3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.
If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.
For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.
People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.
This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.
4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.
Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.
Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!
Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.
Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
5. Crack a smile.
If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.
Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?
6. Break a sweat—with exercise.
Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.
And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.
7. Groom yourself.
This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.
A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.
8. Dress nicely.
Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.
While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.
9. Do activities you enjoy.
Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.
You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.
10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.
Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.
Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.
Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.
Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.
Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?
Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.
12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!
Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.
The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.
Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com
|||^||Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization|
|||^||Association of Psychological Science: Grin and Bear It! Smiling Facilitates Stress Recovery|
|||^||Science Daily: Want a better work-life balance? Exercise, study finds|
|||^||The New York Times: The Right Stance Can Be Reassuring|