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12 Signs You Have Been With Someone For Too Long

12 Signs You Have Been With Someone For Too Long

You are part of a couple that has been together for so long, it feels like you have been a couple since before the dinosaurs. Or probably like an couple in their 80s. People have been wondering how you can stay together in this long-term relationship, despite the differences and still not drive each other nuts. The thing is, you know the secret on how you can keep each other by spicing up each other’s life on a daily basis.

Here are 12 signs you have been with someone for too long, but it’s definitely not a bad thing:

1. You can fart whenever you want without feeling embarrassed.

You feel completely comfortable letting off the gas, even when they are around. They might give you a face when they realize it, but you will not fear that will ruin your reputation with them anymore.

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2. You can wake up with your messy hair and stinky breath without feeling awkward.

You could even stay in bed and chat for a bit after waking. Perhaps when you start smelling his morning breath you will tell him to go brush his teeth!

3. You can recite the story your partner’s going to tell you when they say the first word.

You know exactly what your partner is going to say before they even finish saying it. You are like their duplicating machine; you don’t need much effort to figure out what they are going to say next.

4. You can laugh hysterically at something you find funny.

You just burst out laughing at some funny videos you saw online in front of them without worrying if your partner would think you were out of your mind.

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5. You put out the most random dance move in front of your partner.

You randomly showcase your crazy dance in front of your partner without worrying about being judged by them. The reactions you get could go from your partner dancing along with that crazy move or your partner looking at you with a poker face.

6. You can walk around the house with no pants on.

You are no longer shy hanging around the place without looking completely proper for the sanity of your partner. Especially during summer!

7. You joke with each other.

Where is the fun of it if you don’t occasionally joke with each other? It can be a simple joke to lighten up your day, like your partner will asking if you have the parking ticket with you and you say “nope,” even though you actually have the ticket with you. Then you pull out the ticket and you smile at your partner wickedly as though you just pulled the best prank ever created.

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8. You talk with a whole lot of toothpaste in your mouth.

Brushing your teeth would not be as fun without you talking with all the toothpaste in your mouth. Who cares if the paste starts dripping out of your mouth while you are saying what you need to say to your partner!

9. You fight for the covers on a nightly basis.

You have accepted the fact that the covers will never be equally shared between you and your partner. You spend too many nights pulling on the cover because you realize that you are completely out of cover.

10. You can pick your nose in front of your partner.

Let’s admit it. You might not want other people to see you digging in your nose, but in front of your partner, you couldn’t care less. Although they might point out that you are gross, you know they don’t really mind and are just teasing you.

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11. You no longer have cold sweats when you are alone with your partner’s family.

Your partner’s family has become a part of your own family. You no longer feel awkward around them. You no longer feel the need to bury yourself on the ground in order to keep you from saying or doing something inappropriate.

12. You insist on telling your partner all about your favorite TV show they don’t watch.

You make it your life’s mission to keep your partner updated on your favorite show even though they are not a big fan. Come on, where is the fun if you are the only one enjoying that awesome show?

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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