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8 Things Smart Couples Do To Enliven Their Long-Term Relationships

8 Things Smart Couples Do To Enliven Their Long-Term Relationships

How do you feel when you see two wonderful couples walking together and acting out their love as if its flames had never gone dim? We all envy happy couples. But it does take some hard work and effort to keep a relationship going not for the short term but for a long term. And it takes some smartness too. Here are some things smart couples do to enliven their long term relationships.

1. They communicate

It all starts from how much you believe and act on communicating to each other. Smart couples build on this and enliven their relationships. They always find ways to communicate their needs and feelings to each other. It all starts from saying the right words and appreciating the other person the best way possible.

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2. They do things together

It could be going out to shop for grocery and food items together or cooking together. Long term couples always enjoy doing things together. Some even go further to make interesting games out of their activities together like going to food store and first picking out three items for the other person.

3. They let things go

There is no point in fighting over seemingly little things and hold on to them to certain hurts to even a score. Long term couples understand that imperfect moments have built up to the point where they just have to be tolerant of the other person. While some issues like finances, career paths and kids could be worth having serious discussions on, many minor issues have to be discarded.

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4. They visit some new destinations together

Smart couples take advantage of new experiences and finding joy in new activities. Retreading new grounds or repeating the same activities over and over again doesn’t create new moments to be cherished. Smart couples do well to revitalize their relationship by putting themselves in new situations that will cause new experiences.

5. They offer their partners some space

Being in a relationship is a full time job. And it can become exhausting when there is no vacuum to get into yourself and be alone. Sometimes the best way to create sparkle into your relationship is to deliberately take some distance from your partner. Recognizing that your partner also needs sometime alone can make them appreciate you better.

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6. They give to each other with no strings attached

Smart couples don’t give to each other and don’t expect anything in return. Offering gifts are great to reawaken the other person that you care about him/her. When smart couples offer gifts to each other they do so from the heart and that is what matters, it is not about how much the gift item is worth rather it is the expression that counts. This helps smart couples to get the best out of their relationship in the long term.

7. They surprise each other

Who doesn’t love to be surprised the ideal way? Smart couples make the most out of surprising their partners. It could be by paying them a surprise visit and taking them out for lunch or simply to remind them that you have been thinking about them and you want to do something special to appreciate their value in your world. You don’t have to make surprises irritating or make it seem as if you are stalking them, rather you have to be attentive to what your partner likes and would appreciate.

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8. They set goals together

This doesn’t just help to strengthen their long term relationship, it also builds their ambition. Smart couples sit down to discuss where they want to be in two years, three years with their finances, kids, jobs and neighborhood. They don’t just set these goals, they also aim for how they will accomplish it together. They seek each others opinion on the subjects and how it could be beneficial to their health, happiness and comfort. Even when such can be done separately, smart people take advantage of doing such together to make enliven their relationships.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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