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8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

Just take a look around, and you’ll see more single, independent, and successful women than ever before. We’re working hard on our careers and education, instead of marrying the first guy who comes along. We’ve got our eyes out for that special guy, but we’re too busy to just sit around and wait. We’re hoping to meet that special someone, but most of us are busy working and spending time with friends.

With the trend toward marrying later, we’ve got lots of company, and we’re enjoying the freedom that comes with our independence. Going it alone has its downsides, but we don’t dwell on them. People have some misconceptions about us, though. Hopefully, the list below will give you some insight into what we want to say, but don’t.

1. Our Friends Are Like Family

We wish people understood that our friends are just as important as husband and boyfriends. When you don’t have a significant other, your close friends share your heartbreaks and joys, are there for you when the chips are down, and make you laugh till you choke.

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Different than a boyfriend or husband, these friends are just as important, and provide support that’s different, but no less valuable, than we get from our blood relatives.

2. The Calling Thing

We wish men would tell us, once and for all, if it’s ok to call first. Ditto on women asking men out. Just because we’re independent doesn’t mean we’ve got this dating thing figured out.

3. We’d Like a Party, Too

How about a “single’s shower”? Don’t get us wrong, we’re genuinely happy when our friends get engaged, married, pregnant, and we (mostly) don’t mind buying all of the shower gifts that go along with these happy events.

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But after we’ve been single and taking care of ourselves for a while, we think it would be nice if our friends and family reciprocated and threw us a party to celebrate our making it on our own. After all, single women need toasters, too!

4. We Like To Feel Feminine

We’re independent and in control at work, but we still want to feel like a woman. We have to compete with men at work, so we want to let our feminine side out when we’re with a man we’re attracted to. So don’t worry that we’ll be offended if you treat us like a lady (hint: flowers are always welcome).

5. We Wish You’d Stop Asking “The Question”

We wish people would stop asking us if we’re “still single,” and assuming that getting hitched must be our first priority in life. The same goes for comments about our biological clocks. Single doesn’t mean desperate: for us, it means having standards for who we couple up with. We’d rather be single than married to the wrong person.

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6. We Believe That Going Solo Can Be More Fun Than Couple-dom

We wish those same people understood that being single can be more fun than being coupled up with the wrong person. The freedom to stay out all night with friends having fun instead of being stuck at home watching sports (when you hate sports) with someone who bores you senseless is a definite upside to going solo.

7. We Wish People Knew How Strong We Really Are

Making it as a single woman makes us resourceful, capable, competent, and interesting. We can’t depend on someone else to handle everything for us, so we learn how to take care of ourselves. Flat tires, leaky pipes, work conflicts: we learn how to handle them like the strong, capable women we are. When things get tough, we keep going.

8.  We Wish We Didn’t Have To Be So Strong Sometimes

We’re proud of our independence, but sometimes we wish someone would step in and help with that flat tire, help us put together that Ikea bookcase, and most importantly, be a shoulder to rest on when life gets overwhelming. Sometimes we just want to be taken care of. The most independent woman has times when she wishes for a significant other to lean on.

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To sum it all up, we’re interesting, intelligent, and living full lives. We’re open to the possibilities that singledom gives us, and are having a great time working and playing while we audition candidates for The One. All in all, it’s a great life!

Featured photo credit: Summer girl portrait. Photo by Maridav.

Featured photo credit: Deposit Photos via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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