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8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

Just take a look around, and you’ll see more single, independent, and successful women than ever before. We’re working hard on our careers and education, instead of marrying the first guy who comes along. We’ve got our eyes out for that special guy, but we’re too busy to just sit around and wait. We’re hoping to meet that special someone, but most of us are busy working and spending time with friends.

With the trend toward marrying later, we’ve got lots of company, and we’re enjoying the freedom that comes with our independence. Going it alone has its downsides, but we don’t dwell on them. People have some misconceptions about us, though. Hopefully, the list below will give you some insight into what we want to say, but don’t.

1. Our Friends Are Like Family

We wish people understood that our friends are just as important as husband and boyfriends. When you don’t have a significant other, your close friends share your heartbreaks and joys, are there for you when the chips are down, and make you laugh till you choke.

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Different than a boyfriend or husband, these friends are just as important, and provide support that’s different, but no less valuable, than we get from our blood relatives.

2. The Calling Thing

We wish men would tell us, once and for all, if it’s ok to call first. Ditto on women asking men out. Just because we’re independent doesn’t mean we’ve got this dating thing figured out.

3. We’d Like a Party, Too

How about a “single’s shower”? Don’t get us wrong, we’re genuinely happy when our friends get engaged, married, pregnant, and we (mostly) don’t mind buying all of the shower gifts that go along with these happy events.

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But after we’ve been single and taking care of ourselves for a while, we think it would be nice if our friends and family reciprocated and threw us a party to celebrate our making it on our own. After all, single women need toasters, too!

4. We Like To Feel Feminine

We’re independent and in control at work, but we still want to feel like a woman. We have to compete with men at work, so we want to let our feminine side out when we’re with a man we’re attracted to. So don’t worry that we’ll be offended if you treat us like a lady (hint: flowers are always welcome).

5. We Wish You’d Stop Asking “The Question”

We wish people would stop asking us if we’re “still single,” and assuming that getting hitched must be our first priority in life. The same goes for comments about our biological clocks. Single doesn’t mean desperate: for us, it means having standards for who we couple up with. We’d rather be single than married to the wrong person.

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6. We Believe That Going Solo Can Be More Fun Than Couple-dom

We wish those same people understood that being single can be more fun than being coupled up with the wrong person. The freedom to stay out all night with friends having fun instead of being stuck at home watching sports (when you hate sports) with someone who bores you senseless is a definite upside to going solo.

7. We Wish People Knew How Strong We Really Are

Making it as a single woman makes us resourceful, capable, competent, and interesting. We can’t depend on someone else to handle everything for us, so we learn how to take care of ourselves. Flat tires, leaky pipes, work conflicts: we learn how to handle them like the strong, capable women we are. When things get tough, we keep going.

8.  We Wish We Didn’t Have To Be So Strong Sometimes

We’re proud of our independence, but sometimes we wish someone would step in and help with that flat tire, help us put together that Ikea bookcase, and most importantly, be a shoulder to rest on when life gets overwhelming. Sometimes we just want to be taken care of. The most independent woman has times when she wishes for a significant other to lean on.

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To sum it all up, we’re interesting, intelligent, and living full lives. We’re open to the possibilities that singledom gives us, and are having a great time working and playing while we audition candidates for The One. All in all, it’s a great life!

Featured photo credit: Summer girl portrait. Photo by Maridav.

Featured photo credit: Deposit Photos via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on July 27, 2020

7 Ways to Make Life Changing Decisions

7 Ways to Make Life Changing Decisions

Most people don’t know the profound effects of making life decisions. Often times, we go through life oblivious to what thoughts we are thinking and what actions we are taking. Every single decision we make in our days shapes our current reality. It shapes who we are as a person because we habitually follow through with the decisions we make without even realizing it.

If you’re unhappy with the results in your life right now, making the effort to changing your decisions starting today will be the key to creating the person you want to be and the life you want to have in the future.

Let’s talk about the 7 ways you can go about making life changing decisions.

1. Realize the Power of Decision Making

Before you start making a decision, you have to understand what a decision does.

Any decision that you make causes a chain of events to happen. When you decide to pick up a cigarette to smoke it, that decision might result in you picking up another one later on to get that same high feeling. After a day, you may have gone through a pack without knowing it. But if you decide not to smoke that first cigarette and make a decision every five minutes to focus your attention somewhere else when you get that craving, after doing this for a week, your cravings will eventually subside and you will become smoke-free.

But it comes down to making that very first decision of deciding whether or not to pick up that cigarette.

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2. Go with Your Gut

Often times, we take too much time to make a decision because we’re afraid of what’s going to happen. As a result of this, we go through things like careful planning, deep analysis, and pros and cons before deciding. This is a very time consuming process.

Instead, learn to trust your gut instinct. For the most part, your first instinct is usually the one that is correct or the one that you truly wanted to go with.

Even if you end up making a mistake, going with your gut still makes you a more confident decision maker compared to someone who takes all day to decide.

3. Carry Your Decision Out

When you make a decision, act on it. Commit to making a real decision.

What’s a real decision? It’s when you decide on something, and that decision is carried out through action. It’s pointless to make a decision and have it played out in your head, but not doing anything about it. That’s the same as not making a decision at all.

If you want to make real changes in life, you have to make it a habit to apply action with your decision until it’s completed. By going through this so many times, you will feel more confident with accomplishing the next decision that you have in mind.

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4. Tell Others About Your Decisions

There’s something about telling other people what we’re going to do that makes us follow through.

For example, for the longest time, I’ve been trying to become an early riser. Whenever I tried to use my own willpower, waking up early without falling back asleep felt impossible. So what I did was I went to a forum and made the decision to tell people that I would wake up at 6 AM and stay up. Within two days, I was able to accomplish doing this because I felt a moral obligation to follow through with my words even though I failed the first time.

Did people care? Probably not, but just the fact that there might be someone else out there seeing if you’re telling the truth will give you enough motivation to following through with your decision.

5. Learn from Your Past Decisions

Even after I failed to follow through my decision the first time when I told people I was going to wake up early and stay up, I didn’t give up. I basically asked myself, “What can I do this time to make it work tomorrow?”

The truth is, you are going to mess up at times when it comes to making decisions. Instead of beating yourself up over it, learn something from it.

Ask yourself, what was good about the decision I made? What was bad about it? What can I learn from it so I can make a better decision next time?

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Remember, don’t put so much emphasis focusing on short term effects; instead focus on the long term effects.

6. Maintain a Flexible Approach

I know this might sound counter-intuitive, but making a decision doesn’t mean that you can’t be open to other options.

For example, let’s say you made the decision to lose ten pounds by next month through cardio. If something comes up, you don’t have to just do cardio. You can be open to losing weight through different methods of dieting as long as it helps you reach your goal in the end.

Don’t be stubborn to seek out only one way of making a decision. Embrace any new knowledge that brings you closer to accomplishing your initial decision.

7. Have Fun Making Decisions

Finally, enjoy the process. I know decision-making might not be the most fun thing world to do, but when you do it often, it becomes a game of opportunity.

You’ll learn a lot about yourself on the way, you’ll feel and become a lot more confident when you’re with yourself and around others, and making decisions will just become a lot easier after you do it so often that you won’t even think about it.

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Anything you decide to do from this point on can have a profound effect later on. Opportunities are always waiting for you. Examine the decisions that you currently have in the day.

Are there any that can be changed to improve your life in some way? Are there any decisions that you can make today that can create a better tomorrow?

Final Thoughts

Some decisions in life are harder to make, but with these 7 pieces of advice, you can trust yourself more even when you’re making some of the most important decisions.

Making a decision is the only way to move forward. So remember, any decision is better than none at all.

More Tips for Making Better Decisions

Featured photo credit: Justin Luebke via unsplash.com

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