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8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

8 Secrets Most Single And Independent Women Won’t Tell You

Just take a look around, and you’ll see more single, independent, and successful women than ever before. We’re working hard on our careers and education, instead of marrying the first guy who comes along. We’ve got our eyes out for that special guy, but we’re too busy to just sit around and wait. We’re hoping to meet that special someone, but most of us are busy working and spending time with friends.

With the trend toward marrying later, we’ve got lots of company, and we’re enjoying the freedom that comes with our independence. Going it alone has its downsides, but we don’t dwell on them. People have some misconceptions about us, though. Hopefully, the list below will give you some insight into what we want to say, but don’t.

1. Our Friends Are Like Family

We wish people understood that our friends are just as important as husband and boyfriends. When you don’t have a significant other, your close friends share your heartbreaks and joys, are there for you when the chips are down, and make you laugh till you choke.

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Different than a boyfriend or husband, these friends are just as important, and provide support that’s different, but no less valuable, than we get from our blood relatives.

2. The Calling Thing

We wish men would tell us, once and for all, if it’s ok to call first. Ditto on women asking men out. Just because we’re independent doesn’t mean we’ve got this dating thing figured out.

3. We’d Like a Party, Too

How about a “single’s shower”? Don’t get us wrong, we’re genuinely happy when our friends get engaged, married, pregnant, and we (mostly) don’t mind buying all of the shower gifts that go along with these happy events.

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But after we’ve been single and taking care of ourselves for a while, we think it would be nice if our friends and family reciprocated and threw us a party to celebrate our making it on our own. After all, single women need toasters, too!

4. We Like To Feel Feminine

We’re independent and in control at work, but we still want to feel like a woman. We have to compete with men at work, so we want to let our feminine side out when we’re with a man we’re attracted to. So don’t worry that we’ll be offended if you treat us like a lady (hint: flowers are always welcome).

5. We Wish You’d Stop Asking “The Question”

We wish people would stop asking us if we’re “still single,” and assuming that getting hitched must be our first priority in life. The same goes for comments about our biological clocks. Single doesn’t mean desperate: for us, it means having standards for who we couple up with. We’d rather be single than married to the wrong person.

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6. We Believe That Going Solo Can Be More Fun Than Couple-dom

We wish those same people understood that being single can be more fun than being coupled up with the wrong person. The freedom to stay out all night with friends having fun instead of being stuck at home watching sports (when you hate sports) with someone who bores you senseless is a definite upside to going solo.

7. We Wish People Knew How Strong We Really Are

Making it as a single woman makes us resourceful, capable, competent, and interesting. We can’t depend on someone else to handle everything for us, so we learn how to take care of ourselves. Flat tires, leaky pipes, work conflicts: we learn how to handle them like the strong, capable women we are. When things get tough, we keep going.

8.  We Wish We Didn’t Have To Be So Strong Sometimes

We’re proud of our independence, but sometimes we wish someone would step in and help with that flat tire, help us put together that Ikea bookcase, and most importantly, be a shoulder to rest on when life gets overwhelming. Sometimes we just want to be taken care of. The most independent woman has times when she wishes for a significant other to lean on.

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To sum it all up, we’re interesting, intelligent, and living full lives. We’re open to the possibilities that singledom gives us, and are having a great time working and playing while we audition candidates for The One. All in all, it’s a great life!

Featured photo credit: Summer girl portrait. Photo by Maridav.

Featured photo credit: Deposit Photos via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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