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10 Signs You’re Thriving In Your 30s Even If You Don’t Feel Like You Are

10 Signs You’re Thriving In Your 30s Even If You Don’t Feel Like You Are

If you’re like a lot of people, entering your 30s is a major time of self-reflection and examination.  There’s nothing like turning the big “3-0” to make you look at your life and what you’ve accomplished and ask yourself, “Am I on the right track?”

If you’re still trying to answer that question, here’s a list of signs you’re headed in the right direction with a solid foundation in place for a decade of thriving in your 30s.

1. You’ve quit some bad habits.

A lot of twenty-somethings have trouble letting go of their teenage and/or college lifestyle.  If you’ve successfully dropped habits like binge drinking or smoking cigarettes, then that’s a win for both your health and your relationships. For example, by stopping smoking prior to age 40 you’ve successfully reduced your mortality rate by 90% versus those who haven’t quit.

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2. You’re making better decisions for your health.

In addition to dropping bad habits, you should also be forming new ones that are beneficial to your health. These may involve eating a healthier diet, starting an exercise regimen, or just getting a better night’s sleep.  You’ll be glad you’ve started these good habits, as Adam Dehner on Quora attests, “At 41, I’ve got a list of physical complaints that might not have come about had I been healthier.”

3. You’re forming healthy relationships.

You’re definitely on the right track if you’ve learned to spend more time with the people you love, while staying away from those who don’t treat you well.  By choosing your friends and contacts wisely and not forcing any relationships that might not have happened yet (especially marriage, if you’re still single), you’re making certain that you’re dedicating your time and energy to only those people who are truly worth it.

4. You’re taking your career seriously.

While getting ahead at work is important, it’s also essential to be able to look at the big picture and think outside the box.  Depending on your goals, a successful career track might look like a lot of long hours at the office.  However, it could also look like a brand new venture working abroad.  If you’re willing to consider all your options and take the necessary risks, you’re destined to succeed.

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5. You’ve started paying off debt.

A little bit of debt is not necessarily a bad thing, but going into your 30s with a mountain of college loans and credit card bills does not put you in the best position.  If you’ve started chipping away at getting yourself back in the black, then you’re setting yourself up for better financial success in the future.

6. You have some money in savings.

You may not be quite ready for retirement, but having at least a few months’ expenses in the bank is a good sign of a stable 30-something.  “Building the habit of saving early means you’ll continue it further down the line,” says Cliff Gilley.  Once you’ve eliminated some more debt, then you can really start working towards your financial goals.

7. You have goals that aren’t related to your career.

Maybe you want to write a book, hike the Appalachian trail, or learn another language.  No matter your aspirations, having outside interests and achievements you’d like to pursue is a good sign you’re going to continue to go far in life.

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8.  You’ve learned to be content.

“If you’re content with what you have, you will have a happier life,” says Robert Walker.  While it’s great to have goals and always be working towards something, learning to appreciate what you have is the best way to ensure your happiness in the Now.

9. You don’t worry about what other people think.

If you’ve stopped trying to please everyone – family included – then you’re well on your way to realizing emotional success in your 30s. Once you’re out on your own, your choices are your own.  Own them, and ignore all the nay-saying Debbie Downers.

10. You still know how to have fun.

Turning 30 doesn’t mean your life is over, and it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time.  If you’ve learned to have fun as an adult by spending time with those closest to you, not working too hard, and doing the things that help you enjoy life the most, then there’s no question you’re thriving in your 30s.

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If some of these traits describe you, then congratulations!  May you continue to find success over the next decade.  If not, don’t lose heart.  You still have plenty of time to make positive changes.

Featured photo credit: tie-necktie-adjust-adjusting-man-690084/Unsplash via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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