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10 Signs You’re Thriving In Your 30s Even If You Don’t Feel Like You Are

10 Signs You’re Thriving In Your 30s Even If You Don’t Feel Like You Are

If you’re like a lot of people, entering your 30s is a major time of self-reflection and examination.  There’s nothing like turning the big “3-0” to make you look at your life and what you’ve accomplished and ask yourself, “Am I on the right track?”

If you’re still trying to answer that question, here’s a list of signs you’re headed in the right direction with a solid foundation in place for a decade of thriving in your 30s.

1. You’ve quit some bad habits.

A lot of twenty-somethings have trouble letting go of their teenage and/or college lifestyle.  If you’ve successfully dropped habits like binge drinking or smoking cigarettes, then that’s a win for both your health and your relationships. For example, by stopping smoking prior to age 40 you’ve successfully reduced your mortality rate by 90% versus those who haven’t quit.

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2. You’re making better decisions for your health.

In addition to dropping bad habits, you should also be forming new ones that are beneficial to your health. These may involve eating a healthier diet, starting an exercise regimen, or just getting a better night’s sleep.  You’ll be glad you’ve started these good habits, as Adam Dehner on Quora attests, “At 41, I’ve got a list of physical complaints that might not have come about had I been healthier.”

3. You’re forming healthy relationships.

You’re definitely on the right track if you’ve learned to spend more time with the people you love, while staying away from those who don’t treat you well.  By choosing your friends and contacts wisely and not forcing any relationships that might not have happened yet (especially marriage, if you’re still single), you’re making certain that you’re dedicating your time and energy to only those people who are truly worth it.

4. You’re taking your career seriously.

While getting ahead at work is important, it’s also essential to be able to look at the big picture and think outside the box.  Depending on your goals, a successful career track might look like a lot of long hours at the office.  However, it could also look like a brand new venture working abroad.  If you’re willing to consider all your options and take the necessary risks, you’re destined to succeed.

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5. You’ve started paying off debt.

A little bit of debt is not necessarily a bad thing, but going into your 30s with a mountain of college loans and credit card bills does not put you in the best position.  If you’ve started chipping away at getting yourself back in the black, then you’re setting yourself up for better financial success in the future.

6. You have some money in savings.

You may not be quite ready for retirement, but having at least a few months’ expenses in the bank is a good sign of a stable 30-something.  “Building the habit of saving early means you’ll continue it further down the line,” says Cliff Gilley.  Once you’ve eliminated some more debt, then you can really start working towards your financial goals.

7. You have goals that aren’t related to your career.

Maybe you want to write a book, hike the Appalachian trail, or learn another language.  No matter your aspirations, having outside interests and achievements you’d like to pursue is a good sign you’re going to continue to go far in life.

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8.  You’ve learned to be content.

“If you’re content with what you have, you will have a happier life,” says Robert Walker.  While it’s great to have goals and always be working towards something, learning to appreciate what you have is the best way to ensure your happiness in the Now.

9. You don’t worry about what other people think.

If you’ve stopped trying to please everyone – family included – then you’re well on your way to realizing emotional success in your 30s. Once you’re out on your own, your choices are your own.  Own them, and ignore all the nay-saying Debbie Downers.

10. You still know how to have fun.

Turning 30 doesn’t mean your life is over, and it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time.  If you’ve learned to have fun as an adult by spending time with those closest to you, not working too hard, and doing the things that help you enjoy life the most, then there’s no question you’re thriving in your 30s.

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If some of these traits describe you, then congratulations!  May you continue to find success over the next decade.  If not, don’t lose heart.  You still have plenty of time to make positive changes.

Featured photo credit: tie-necktie-adjust-adjusting-man-690084/Unsplash via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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