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7 Things To Know Before You Date A Sentimental Person

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7 Things To Know Before You Date A Sentimental Person

My entire life I’ve heard, “Nice guys finish last.”

It’s a saying that’s mocked my morals to my core understandings of what it means to be a good person. I’ve never really understood why people don’t choose to seek out nice people to date. Niceness can be defined in many ways, but one of the strongest indicators of a “nice guy” (or girl) is the sentimental way they treat life.

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Dating a sentimental person has incredible benefits.

Life has special meaning to us.

Things that seem mundane to most people are extraordinarily beautiful to sentimental folks. We always complain that life goes to fast, but how often do you spend time to appreciate that a tree can grow (and even thrive) in an urban environment? When’s the last time you took five minutes to pull over and enjoy a sunset without thinking about which Instagram filter would make the clouds look most like Crayola cotton candy? For sentimental people, every part of life’s intricate structure is suddenly transformed to something very meaningful. We appreciate the simple things, no matter how simple they seem.

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There are endless reasons for us to celebrate.

We can find a reason to party for anything. I’m not referring to binge drinking in a dorm room or illicitly using drugs before a showing of the new Jurassic World movie. Instead, we feel the need to celebrate small victories and triumphs that occur frequently in daily life. CThese are usually directly related to others, not ourselves. It’s not uncommon for sentimental people to recommend a surprise party for our close friends or an impromptu get-together.

We use our ears.

Actively! Sentimental people are always there for others, even when it’s very convenient for them. We make such great listeners because we truly care about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, and how we can help you get over it (if applicable). Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on. Sentimental people are some of the most stable. If you’re looking to date a good listener, look for someone who’s sentimental.

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We (most likely) enjoy above-average sex.

Sentimental people are great in the bedroom. Think about it: we love feeling sensations like love, fear, hate, and other emotions. We are conscious of when those emotions are happening. We envelope themselves in our loved one’s feelings. Why would we not want to experience sensational feelings like touch, taste, smell to the fullest? Sentimental people ooze passion. Imagine what will happen when clothes aren’t involved?

We strongly believe that “what comes from the heart goes to the heart”.

I don’t mean the “I forgot about your birthday, but here’s something from the AM PM up the street – will you please kiss me now” gifts. I’m talking about handmade, stitched, drawn, baked, or carefully thought out gifts that come from the heart. Some of the best gifts I’ve given (and received) have probably cost less than 5 dollars to make. What matters is not the gift itself, but the act of committing yourself to create something from scratch to give to someone you care about. That’s special.

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The world we see is cast in color.

This actually has a split meaning. First, sentimental people usually radiate positive energy around them at all times, especially when we are in the presence of other people. This energy (or vibe) is infectious, causing more people around us to feel joy. In the process of being so blissful 24/7 will gain you a lot of friends. Second, sentimental people are not quick to judge things at face value, or in black and white. There are always layers to peel, much like an onion, to find out what something is really about. There’s color in every situation, object, person, place, whatever. Sentimental people understand this insightful concept.

We create lasting memories grounded in pure connection.

If there’s one thing sentimental people are not, it’s fake. We’re not the type that lets any event or circumstance go by unnoticed or under appreciated. All of the sudden dates become the most important thing. Visiting your family or spending time with your friends isn’t a chore. This isn’t a “hassle” or “part of the relationship” that you have to deal with. It’s actually something sentimental people consider a divine privilege. Existence is so much sweeter when you take time — even if just a fleeting moment — to recognize beauty and elegance when you have it.

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For us sentimental people, those moments are a daily occurrence.

Featured photo credit: Man with Bouquet of Roses / Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.imgix.net

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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