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20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

The truth is there is no such thing as perfect. So let’s frame this list as ‘perfect for most’. We all want and desire that perfect match, the person we know is the ‘one’ for us. We also know the likes and desires in a partner look different for everyone, so this list is created with the framework of what a healthy and loving relationship might look like.  We often desire to be truly loved and accepted in our lives, especially when we are in a relationship.

The most important thing about any relationship is that love is the common denominator and that past issues or concerns are not getting in the way and hurting the current relationship.

Here are 20 signs you have a perfect boyfriend.

1. He listens to you.

First and foremost, we all want to be heard. We want our values, opinions and beliefs to be validated. Even if they aren’t agreed with, we want them to be respected. The qualities of a perfect boyfriend would definitely include listening to what you have to say. He calls you just to hear your voice, or texts you throughout the day to find out what is going on in your life because he truly cares.

2. He really is that into you.

This doesn’t mean that he is obsessed with you and is always blowing up your phone or constantly contacting you. It really means that he is interested, intrigued and enamored by you. His actions just visibly reflect that. When your boyfriend realises that his life is better with you and he wants you in it every day, then it is time to recognize the relationship could grow into something more. He wants to spend time with you, he tells you how awesome you are, and he is not afraid to be honest with his feelings for you.

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3. He talks about his feelings and emotions.

Even though society sometimes gives us the impression that all men need to be hard, emotionless, or “strong”; the real men out there let their guard down to the ones that mean the most to them. Real men talk about their feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong with men articulating their feelings or emotions, especially to someone they spend a lot of time with. Once you have a deeper intimacy with your boyfriend, you know he is in it for the long haul. He shares his past, his fears, his wants, and his desires with you. When he talks about serious topics with you, he is not afraid to love or to tell you how he loves you.

4. He accepts all of you.

This might me one of the most important aspects in any relationship. Your boyfriend does not want to change you. He accepts your good and your not so good. He lifts you up and lets you know that you are perfect in his eyes. You know you have a perfect boyfriend when you know they are not trying to change you, or manipulate and influence you to become someone you are not. He tells you how pretty you are. He even tells you that he likes the things you hate about yourself.

5. He supports ‘you’ time.

Being in a relationship takes up a large part of your life. However, your relationship should not take up 100% of your time. Everyone has their own special interests and hobbies in life. The perfect boyfriend supports you doing things on your own or with your best friends. He embraces time apart as much as he embraces time together. He knows that each of your lives can remain balanced while in the relationship. He even texts to tell you to have an amazing time with your friends, or he calls to say he can’t wait to see you soon.

6. He is interested in what you enjoy.

He is truly interested in what you enjoy doing, or what you like most in life. It does not mean that he has to love everything you love, or do everything that you do. You may be into music, but he loves art – and that is perfectly fine. He really wants to know what excites you and makes you feel alive in life so that he can support your happiness.

7. He makes you laugh.

They always say that laughter really is the best medicine. Not every boyfriend has to be a professional comedian, but a perfect boyfriend does have a good sense of humor. He is playful and likes to joke around with you every once in a while. He might do silly things only with you. You two might even have endearing little names for each other too.

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8. He is independent.

The perfect boyfriend provides for himself, lives on his own, and takes pride in being an independent and contributing member of society. It is never fun to go on a ‘date’ and be the one picking up the tab all the time. A perfect boyfriend is also someone you know could possibly be a good husband in the future. If he has his own independence, he can already provide for himself – and maybe his future family too.

9. He fully trusts you.

Trust is the basis of all strong and meaningful relationships. If trust is not present in any relationship, chances are it will not last long. Trust is essential. If you have trust there is no jealousy or insecurities. Most relationships that include jealousy stem from past relationship patterns that were not healthy. These negative qualities sometimes get carried over into the next relationship. A perfect boyfriend would not be texting or calling every hour to find out where you are when you are not together. We all get a little insecure and jealous sometimes, but the ideal man does not let it get the best of him and it does not affect your relationship at all.

10. He always has your back.

Life includes ups and down, good parts and bad parts. No matter what each of you are going through, you are there to support each other. A perfect boyfriend would definitely be one that stands by you through the good and the bad. He’ll be by your side in any tough situation you might be going through in life. He is there to support you and to lift you up. He is there for you through good and bad, encouraging you to keep going even if you fall. He is your teammate, your cheerleader, and the one that makes your life better each and every day.

11. He doesn’t avoid conflict.

If something is bothering him or there is an issue, he does not avoid addressing it. He is able to share his own thoughts and feelings freely in a positive way. We all have things that bother us. The perfect boyfriend would share those issues instead of letting them build up inside until they come out later in a negative way. The stronger the communication is with your boyfriend, the better your chances of working through issues as they arise.

12. He makes plans with you.

The perfect boyfriend calls you, texts you, checks in with you often and suggests things to do. He also makes plans with you. He wants to spend his time with you. If you are always the one initiating the communication or making plans to see each other, maybe he is not the best match for you.

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13. He is thoughtful.

You don’t have to be necessarily romantic to be thoughtful. Although, that is a great quality to have as well. Being thoughtful could be something simple like bringing you food when you are sick, or doing something sweet to cheer you up when you are having a bad day. He plans for special events because he truly wants you to feel loved by him. The perfect boyfriend considers your feelings and his reactions reflect his thoughtfulness.

14. He cooks for you.

Society also likes to portray that the woman should always cook. It’s the 21st century. We are no longer living in Leave It To Beaver-land. This doesn’t mean he cooks all the time, but hopefully he has a dish or two he has perfected. Maybe he is a master on the grill. There is something sexy about a man taking the time to cook something just for the two of you. It is also another outward act of his feelings for you.

15. His actions match his words.

If we don’t have our word, what do we have? Honesty is a virtue and the perfect boyfriend will embody that. When he says he will call you at 9pm; he does. When he says you are going to hang out this upcoming weekend; you do. When he makes promises to you; he keeps them. If you are consistently being let down by your boyfriend telling you one thing but doing another, chances are he is not the perfect one for you.

16. He includes you with his family and friends.

Being introduced to family and friends might come later in the relationship, but if you are in a long-term relationship and you have not yet met his close friends or family, he might not be the one. The perfect boyfriend really wants you to meet his friends and family because he enjoys spending time with you. He enjoys being around you so much he wants everyone he cares about to know about you and get to know you personally.

17. He shows affection.

This is an important aspect. This does not mean you have to make-out with your boyfriend in every public place possible, but it does mean when you are out in public he enjoys holding your hand, or putting his arm around you and showing you affection. Affection is an important part of any relationship. The perfect boyfriend will outwardly show his love for you with affection. He will also tell you how amazing you look and how much he loves that dress on you. There is no criticism of the way you look, just complete adoration.

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18. He respects you.

This should be a no-brainer, but sadly there are many relationships lacking the basic foundation of respect. The perfect boyfriend would never, ever attempt to push, hit, or lay a hand on you. He would never scream and yell at you all the time or call you horrible names. There would never be a valid reason for that to ever happen! Going through epic fights and then making up later is not an example of true love. The perfect boyfriend is able to control his anger and work through his issues so that they are never taken out on you. He adores you. He would be so upset if anything were to happen to you. He admires you deeply and will treat you the best way he knows how.

19. He is willing to compromise.

If everyone agreed with each other all of the time, the world would be a boring place. The perfect boyfriend compromises on issues or making plans because he wants the relationship to work. If you are always doing what your boyfriend wants to do, and nothing that you have ever suggested, then your boyfriend is not willing to compromise. This is especially important regarding holidays and family situations. When your boyfriend compromises, you definitely know that he is considering your feelings instead of only his own.

20. He shows sympathy.

When something serious is going on in your life and you are having a really hard time, he consoles you. If your dog dies, he is there. If something happens to your family, he is there. Unfortunately, bad things will happen in life and the perfect boyfriend will be by your side through all of it. Even if he isn’t sure what to say, he is there supporting you, holding your hand, and letting you cry on his shoulder. If he can see that you are visibly upset about something, he will ask you to talk about it and not dismiss your feelings.

Featured photo credit: Nicki Varkevisser via flickr.com

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Wendy Redden

Digital Advertising Account Manager, Music Blogger, Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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