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20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

The truth is there is no such thing as perfect. So let’s frame this list as ‘perfect for most’. We all want and desire that perfect match, the person we know is the ‘one’ for us. We also know the likes and desires in a partner look different for everyone, so this list is created with the framework of what a healthy and loving relationship might look like.  We often desire to be truly loved and accepted in our lives, especially when we are in a relationship.

The most important thing about any relationship is that love is the common denominator and that past issues or concerns are not getting in the way and hurting the current relationship.

Here are 20 signs you have a perfect boyfriend.

1. He listens to you.

First and foremost, we all want to be heard. We want our values, opinions and beliefs to be validated. Even if they aren’t agreed with, we want them to be respected. The qualities of a perfect boyfriend would definitely include listening to what you have to say. He calls you just to hear your voice, or texts you throughout the day to find out what is going on in your life because he truly cares.

2. He really is that into you.

This doesn’t mean that he is obsessed with you and is always blowing up your phone or constantly contacting you. It really means that he is interested, intrigued and enamored by you. His actions just visibly reflect that. When your boyfriend realises that his life is better with you and he wants you in it every day, then it is time to recognize the relationship could grow into something more. He wants to spend time with you, he tells you how awesome you are, and he is not afraid to be honest with his feelings for you.

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3. He talks about his feelings and emotions.

Even though society sometimes gives us the impression that all men need to be hard, emotionless, or “strong”; the real men out there let their guard down to the ones that mean the most to them. Real men talk about their feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong with men articulating their feelings or emotions, especially to someone they spend a lot of time with. Once you have a deeper intimacy with your boyfriend, you know he is in it for the long haul. He shares his past, his fears, his wants, and his desires with you. When he talks about serious topics with you, he is not afraid to love or to tell you how he loves you.

4. He accepts all of you.

This might me one of the most important aspects in any relationship. Your boyfriend does not want to change you. He accepts your good and your not so good. He lifts you up and lets you know that you are perfect in his eyes. You know you have a perfect boyfriend when you know they are not trying to change you, or manipulate and influence you to become someone you are not. He tells you how pretty you are. He even tells you that he likes the things you hate about yourself.

5. He supports ‘you’ time.

Being in a relationship takes up a large part of your life. However, your relationship should not take up 100% of your time. Everyone has their own special interests and hobbies in life. The perfect boyfriend supports you doing things on your own or with your best friends. He embraces time apart as much as he embraces time together. He knows that each of your lives can remain balanced while in the relationship. He even texts to tell you to have an amazing time with your friends, or he calls to say he can’t wait to see you soon.

6. He is interested in what you enjoy.

He is truly interested in what you enjoy doing, or what you like most in life. It does not mean that he has to love everything you love, or do everything that you do. You may be into music, but he loves art – and that is perfectly fine. He really wants to know what excites you and makes you feel alive in life so that he can support your happiness.

7. He makes you laugh.

They always say that laughter really is the best medicine. Not every boyfriend has to be a professional comedian, but a perfect boyfriend does have a good sense of humor. He is playful and likes to joke around with you every once in a while. He might do silly things only with you. You two might even have endearing little names for each other too.

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8. He is independent.

The perfect boyfriend provides for himself, lives on his own, and takes pride in being an independent and contributing member of society. It is never fun to go on a ‘date’ and be the one picking up the tab all the time. A perfect boyfriend is also someone you know could possibly be a good husband in the future. If he has his own independence, he can already provide for himself – and maybe his future family too.

9. He fully trusts you.

Trust is the basis of all strong and meaningful relationships. If trust is not present in any relationship, chances are it will not last long. Trust is essential. If you have trust there is no jealousy or insecurities. Most relationships that include jealousy stem from past relationship patterns that were not healthy. These negative qualities sometimes get carried over into the next relationship. A perfect boyfriend would not be texting or calling every hour to find out where you are when you are not together. We all get a little insecure and jealous sometimes, but the ideal man does not let it get the best of him and it does not affect your relationship at all.

10. He always has your back.

Life includes ups and down, good parts and bad parts. No matter what each of you are going through, you are there to support each other. A perfect boyfriend would definitely be one that stands by you through the good and the bad. He’ll be by your side in any tough situation you might be going through in life. He is there to support you and to lift you up. He is there for you through good and bad, encouraging you to keep going even if you fall. He is your teammate, your cheerleader, and the one that makes your life better each and every day.

11. He doesn’t avoid conflict.

If something is bothering him or there is an issue, he does not avoid addressing it. He is able to share his own thoughts and feelings freely in a positive way. We all have things that bother us. The perfect boyfriend would share those issues instead of letting them build up inside until they come out later in a negative way. The stronger the communication is with your boyfriend, the better your chances of working through issues as they arise.

12. He makes plans with you.

The perfect boyfriend calls you, texts you, checks in with you often and suggests things to do. He also makes plans with you. He wants to spend his time with you. If you are always the one initiating the communication or making plans to see each other, maybe he is not the best match for you.

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13. He is thoughtful.

You don’t have to be necessarily romantic to be thoughtful. Although, that is a great quality to have as well. Being thoughtful could be something simple like bringing you food when you are sick, or doing something sweet to cheer you up when you are having a bad day. He plans for special events because he truly wants you to feel loved by him. The perfect boyfriend considers your feelings and his reactions reflect his thoughtfulness.

14. He cooks for you.

Society also likes to portray that the woman should always cook. It’s the 21st century. We are no longer living in Leave It To Beaver-land. This doesn’t mean he cooks all the time, but hopefully he has a dish or two he has perfected. Maybe he is a master on the grill. There is something sexy about a man taking the time to cook something just for the two of you. It is also another outward act of his feelings for you.

15. His actions match his words.

If we don’t have our word, what do we have? Honesty is a virtue and the perfect boyfriend will embody that. When he says he will call you at 9pm; he does. When he says you are going to hang out this upcoming weekend; you do. When he makes promises to you; he keeps them. If you are consistently being let down by your boyfriend telling you one thing but doing another, chances are he is not the perfect one for you.

16. He includes you with his family and friends.

Being introduced to family and friends might come later in the relationship, but if you are in a long-term relationship and you have not yet met his close friends or family, he might not be the one. The perfect boyfriend really wants you to meet his friends and family because he enjoys spending time with you. He enjoys being around you so much he wants everyone he cares about to know about you and get to know you personally.

17. He shows affection.

This is an important aspect. This does not mean you have to make-out with your boyfriend in every public place possible, but it does mean when you are out in public he enjoys holding your hand, or putting his arm around you and showing you affection. Affection is an important part of any relationship. The perfect boyfriend will outwardly show his love for you with affection. He will also tell you how amazing you look and how much he loves that dress on you. There is no criticism of the way you look, just complete adoration.

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18. He respects you.

This should be a no-brainer, but sadly there are many relationships lacking the basic foundation of respect. The perfect boyfriend would never, ever attempt to push, hit, or lay a hand on you. He would never scream and yell at you all the time or call you horrible names. There would never be a valid reason for that to ever happen! Going through epic fights and then making up later is not an example of true love. The perfect boyfriend is able to control his anger and work through his issues so that they are never taken out on you. He adores you. He would be so upset if anything were to happen to you. He admires you deeply and will treat you the best way he knows how.

19. He is willing to compromise.

If everyone agreed with each other all of the time, the world would be a boring place. The perfect boyfriend compromises on issues or making plans because he wants the relationship to work. If you are always doing what your boyfriend wants to do, and nothing that you have ever suggested, then your boyfriend is not willing to compromise. This is especially important regarding holidays and family situations. When your boyfriend compromises, you definitely know that he is considering your feelings instead of only his own.

20. He shows sympathy.

When something serious is going on in your life and you are having a really hard time, he consoles you. If your dog dies, he is there. If something happens to your family, he is there. Unfortunately, bad things will happen in life and the perfect boyfriend will be by your side through all of it. Even if he isn’t sure what to say, he is there supporting you, holding your hand, and letting you cry on his shoulder. If he can see that you are visibly upset about something, he will ask you to talk about it and not dismiss your feelings.

Featured photo credit: Nicki Varkevisser via flickr.com

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Wendy Redden

Digital Advertising Account Manager, Music Blogger, Freelance Writer

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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