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20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

20 Signs You Have A Perfect Boyfriend

The truth is there is no such thing as perfect. So let’s frame this list as ‘perfect for most’. We all want and desire that perfect match, the person we know is the ‘one’ for us. We also know the likes and desires in a partner look different for everyone, so this list is created with the framework of what a healthy and loving relationship might look like.  We often desire to be truly loved and accepted in our lives, especially when we are in a relationship.

The most important thing about any relationship is that love is the common denominator and that past issues or concerns are not getting in the way and hurting the current relationship.

Here are 20 signs you have a perfect boyfriend.

1. He listens to you.

First and foremost, we all want to be heard. We want our values, opinions and beliefs to be validated. Even if they aren’t agreed with, we want them to be respected. The qualities of a perfect boyfriend would definitely include listening to what you have to say. He calls you just to hear your voice, or texts you throughout the day to find out what is going on in your life because he truly cares.

2. He really is that into you.

This doesn’t mean that he is obsessed with you and is always blowing up your phone or constantly contacting you. It really means that he is interested, intrigued and enamored by you. His actions just visibly reflect that. When your boyfriend realises that his life is better with you and he wants you in it every day, then it is time to recognize the relationship could grow into something more. He wants to spend time with you, he tells you how awesome you are, and he is not afraid to be honest with his feelings for you.

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3. He talks about his feelings and emotions.

Even though society sometimes gives us the impression that all men need to be hard, emotionless, or “strong”; the real men out there let their guard down to the ones that mean the most to them. Real men talk about their feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong with men articulating their feelings or emotions, especially to someone they spend a lot of time with. Once you have a deeper intimacy with your boyfriend, you know he is in it for the long haul. He shares his past, his fears, his wants, and his desires with you. When he talks about serious topics with you, he is not afraid to love or to tell you how he loves you.

4. He accepts all of you.

This might me one of the most important aspects in any relationship. Your boyfriend does not want to change you. He accepts your good and your not so good. He lifts you up and lets you know that you are perfect in his eyes. You know you have a perfect boyfriend when you know they are not trying to change you, or manipulate and influence you to become someone you are not. He tells you how pretty you are. He even tells you that he likes the things you hate about yourself.

5. He supports ‘you’ time.

Being in a relationship takes up a large part of your life. However, your relationship should not take up 100% of your time. Everyone has their own special interests and hobbies in life. The perfect boyfriend supports you doing things on your own or with your best friends. He embraces time apart as much as he embraces time together. He knows that each of your lives can remain balanced while in the relationship. He even texts to tell you to have an amazing time with your friends, or he calls to say he can’t wait to see you soon.

6. He is interested in what you enjoy.

He is truly interested in what you enjoy doing, or what you like most in life. It does not mean that he has to love everything you love, or do everything that you do. You may be into music, but he loves art – and that is perfectly fine. He really wants to know what excites you and makes you feel alive in life so that he can support your happiness.

7. He makes you laugh.

They always say that laughter really is the best medicine. Not every boyfriend has to be a professional comedian, but a perfect boyfriend does have a good sense of humor. He is playful and likes to joke around with you every once in a while. He might do silly things only with you. You two might even have endearing little names for each other too.

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8. He is independent.

The perfect boyfriend provides for himself, lives on his own, and takes pride in being an independent and contributing member of society. It is never fun to go on a ‘date’ and be the one picking up the tab all the time. A perfect boyfriend is also someone you know could possibly be a good husband in the future. If he has his own independence, he can already provide for himself – and maybe his future family too.

9. He fully trusts you.

Trust is the basis of all strong and meaningful relationships. If trust is not present in any relationship, chances are it will not last long. Trust is essential. If you have trust there is no jealousy or insecurities. Most relationships that include jealousy stem from past relationship patterns that were not healthy. These negative qualities sometimes get carried over into the next relationship. A perfect boyfriend would not be texting or calling every hour to find out where you are when you are not together. We all get a little insecure and jealous sometimes, but the ideal man does not let it get the best of him and it does not affect your relationship at all.

10. He always has your back.

Life includes ups and down, good parts and bad parts. No matter what each of you are going through, you are there to support each other. A perfect boyfriend would definitely be one that stands by you through the good and the bad. He’ll be by your side in any tough situation you might be going through in life. He is there to support you and to lift you up. He is there for you through good and bad, encouraging you to keep going even if you fall. He is your teammate, your cheerleader, and the one that makes your life better each and every day.

11. He doesn’t avoid conflict.

If something is bothering him or there is an issue, he does not avoid addressing it. He is able to share his own thoughts and feelings freely in a positive way. We all have things that bother us. The perfect boyfriend would share those issues instead of letting them build up inside until they come out later in a negative way. The stronger the communication is with your boyfriend, the better your chances of working through issues as they arise.

12. He makes plans with you.

The perfect boyfriend calls you, texts you, checks in with you often and suggests things to do. He also makes plans with you. He wants to spend his time with you. If you are always the one initiating the communication or making plans to see each other, maybe he is not the best match for you.

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13. He is thoughtful.

You don’t have to be necessarily romantic to be thoughtful. Although, that is a great quality to have as well. Being thoughtful could be something simple like bringing you food when you are sick, or doing something sweet to cheer you up when you are having a bad day. He plans for special events because he truly wants you to feel loved by him. The perfect boyfriend considers your feelings and his reactions reflect his thoughtfulness.

14. He cooks for you.

Society also likes to portray that the woman should always cook. It’s the 21st century. We are no longer living in Leave It To Beaver-land. This doesn’t mean he cooks all the time, but hopefully he has a dish or two he has perfected. Maybe he is a master on the grill. There is something sexy about a man taking the time to cook something just for the two of you. It is also another outward act of his feelings for you.

15. His actions match his words.

If we don’t have our word, what do we have? Honesty is a virtue and the perfect boyfriend will embody that. When he says he will call you at 9pm; he does. When he says you are going to hang out this upcoming weekend; you do. When he makes promises to you; he keeps them. If you are consistently being let down by your boyfriend telling you one thing but doing another, chances are he is not the perfect one for you.

16. He includes you with his family and friends.

Being introduced to family and friends might come later in the relationship, but if you are in a long-term relationship and you have not yet met his close friends or family, he might not be the one. The perfect boyfriend really wants you to meet his friends and family because he enjoys spending time with you. He enjoys being around you so much he wants everyone he cares about to know about you and get to know you personally.

17. He shows affection.

This is an important aspect. This does not mean you have to make-out with your boyfriend in every public place possible, but it does mean when you are out in public he enjoys holding your hand, or putting his arm around you and showing you affection. Affection is an important part of any relationship. The perfect boyfriend will outwardly show his love for you with affection. He will also tell you how amazing you look and how much he loves that dress on you. There is no criticism of the way you look, just complete adoration.

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18. He respects you.

This should be a no-brainer, but sadly there are many relationships lacking the basic foundation of respect. The perfect boyfriend would never, ever attempt to push, hit, or lay a hand on you. He would never scream and yell at you all the time or call you horrible names. There would never be a valid reason for that to ever happen! Going through epic fights and then making up later is not an example of true love. The perfect boyfriend is able to control his anger and work through his issues so that they are never taken out on you. He adores you. He would be so upset if anything were to happen to you. He admires you deeply and will treat you the best way he knows how.

19. He is willing to compromise.

If everyone agreed with each other all of the time, the world would be a boring place. The perfect boyfriend compromises on issues or making plans because he wants the relationship to work. If you are always doing what your boyfriend wants to do, and nothing that you have ever suggested, then your boyfriend is not willing to compromise. This is especially important regarding holidays and family situations. When your boyfriend compromises, you definitely know that he is considering your feelings instead of only his own.

20. He shows sympathy.

When something serious is going on in your life and you are having a really hard time, he consoles you. If your dog dies, he is there. If something happens to your family, he is there. Unfortunately, bad things will happen in life and the perfect boyfriend will be by your side through all of it. Even if he isn’t sure what to say, he is there supporting you, holding your hand, and letting you cry on his shoulder. If he can see that you are visibly upset about something, he will ask you to talk about it and not dismiss your feelings.

Featured photo credit: Nicki Varkevisser via flickr.com

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Wendy Redden

Digital Advertising Account Manager, Music Blogger, Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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