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7 Things Every Man Must Accomplish At Least Once In Their Life

7 Things Every Man Must Accomplish At Least Once In Their Life

The world is full of unique opportunities, locations and activities that many of us will never even hear of nevermind actually try out. For anyone in this position, the most effective way to changing this problem and making your life a little bit more comfortable would be to get involved with any of the following tasks along the way. All of these tasks are relatively simple but something that would truly enhance your life; you just need to know what you are thinking of trying to make it work out the best for you!

1. Buy a fine suit

I’m personally not a big fan of materialistic thinking or even dressing smart (I live in soccer football shirts and jogging bottoms!) but I always think that having that suit to make yourself look a million bucks is very important for self-confidence. When you don’t feel great about yourself it can be nice to turn to something like this for a little bit of a boost in terms of your overall confidence and your personal self-esteem

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2. Leave a life-changing tip for someone

whether it’s a beggar or a waitress, leave them a large tip – as large as you can afford – and don’t wait around for the gratification. It will be nice enough to know that the person could be having an awesome day just on the money that you left them. On those days where you feel like a millionaire, share the wealth with those who just aren’t as fortunate at the moment

3. Go to see a band who you adore perform their last ever show

I personally went to see UK genius Mike Skinner as The Streets for the last ever time. It was a truly exemplary performance and to this day I still listen to this music most days; a truly brilliant artist. I’d recommend that you do the same as the feeling of seeing someone who you appreciate musically for the last time is massive

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4. Take a long train trip

We’re talking days and nights length! This is a great way to see the world from a new perspective and make it nice and easy to fully understand the best way to really appreciate the world and everything that it has for us. If you take the time to do this, you’ll really benefit for many years to come as you can recall a truly staggering journey that you aren’t too likely to forget about any time soon! It makes a big difference to have this kind of travel behind you, offering unique insights

5. Produce some creative writing

It might not be something on the “manliest list ever” but if you ever decide to get creative, we suggest that you pen a poem about someone or something that you feel attached to or care about. It makes a big difference to write about something that you are genuinely interested in, making sure that you can get all the help that you need in improving your overall level of experience in life as time goes on. Having a bit of writing experience is great for our self-esteem and our ability to think about life from a differing perspective

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6. Take up the chance to coach a sports team, if you are any good at sports

Personally I love soccer, and I love being able to get down with the local team and show the next generation how to think. I’m not good as a player but I know what to do in situations and can pass that knowledge on to the kids – this will help them become better players. Even if you are into something that isn’t sports, if you can find a class of kids learning about it you should try and impart your genuine knowledge onto their futures

7. Commit to trying something crazy and unexpected

whether it’s going away for a month to Africa to help out and see the world from a fresh perspective or even going abroad to try something like Ayahuasca, there are any things that you should consider trying in your life that would be considered “out there”. This is a more personalized choice, but if you can pick one thing in this world that you want to see up-close – whether that’s the Pyramids in Peru or you want to hallucinate with the Witch Doctor’s of the Amazon – and just book the flights to go see it!

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Featured photo credit: http://quotivee.com via quotivee.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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