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8 Reasons Why You Always Fight With Your Beloved

8 Reasons Why You Always Fight With Your Beloved

Doesn’t it seem like those who are truly in love would never fight? The truth is that love is a game of passion and with passion comes a certain intensity of feelings. These feelings often lead to fights. It is not a sign that your relationship is necessarily falling apart, but rather a sign that you are both deeply invested in each other. Here are some reasons you might be fighting with your loved one:

1. You have some unreasonable expectations

This can be particularly difficult as you come out of the honeymoon phase. Romantic love is incredibly powerful and it can lead us to envision our partner as something they are not. This can cause us to be shocked and dismayed when they behave in ways that our inconsistent with our expectations. This type of fight is fairly common for people early on in their relationship and can be worked through by being aware that the first signs of love often leave us with a few unrealistic expectations.

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2. You wonder if these feelings are genuine

Love is a strong, but often mysterious feeling in our lives. With such intensity floating around, you may begin to wonder if all of this is truly real. This insecurity can cause lovers to fight. It can be very difficult to determine how another person feels, let alone how you feel yourself, but in these situations, it is best to realize that you have to trust yourself to know what is real and what isn’t.

3. You worry you may be settling

Once you get seriously involved with a beloved one, you may begin to worry that there may be something better out there. This is a normal sensation, and often flares up most prominently when things are not running very smoothly. With this feeling, you are best to be careful and avoid acting on any rash decisions. Give yourself time and space to decide how you truly feel about the situation. Go slowly and remember all the great things you love about your partner before you decide there is something better out there.

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4. You are frustrated that you can’t be perfect for your partner

Sometimes fights stem from your own frustrations with your behavior. Although you may not realize it, you may be expecting yourself to be the perfect example of loving support for your partner. This is a wonderful goal to strive for, but the truth is no one is perfect. You will make mistakes in your journey, and so will your partner. When you realize you are motivated out of frustration about your own actions, being open with your partner is a good strategy. Trust love includes loving all of your imperfections, so you may find solace in hearing your lack of perfection is forgiven.

5. You may be losing sight of the team aspect of your relationship

If you are getting too focused on “I” or “me” you may be suffering from this problem. Mature relationships require a teamwork mentality. You have to learn to work with your partner and consider your options based on what is most beneficial for both of you. This requires patience and communicating with your partner.

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6. You prioritized your feelings over your partner’s

Although your feelings are probably the most tangible thing on your mind, its important to realize that they are not always the most important thing in a specific situation. To avoid these sorts of fights, be mindful of what your feelings are and what your beloved’s feelings might be. Try to make a conscious decision to focus on their feelings over your own.

7. You get the past mixed up with the present

Sure you’ve probably had a few bumps in the past. Perhaps a few of them are still a bit raw. That’s no surprise, but if you bring up bits of the past while trying to work through something more recent, you may be walking into a mine field. Try to stay focused on the now and have a separate conversation about the past if you need it.

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8. You don’t have an established exit plan

Sometimes when you are having a moment with your loved on, it can be hard to know how to exit a conversation before it gets too heated. If you establish a way to respectfully end the conversation way before anyone gets heated, you have a go to when things start to get out of hand. It can be something as simple as saying “I need a break, let’s return to this tomorrow” to something outrageous like “Pink bananas are better ripe.” Whatever phrasing can help you and your partner flag a respectful retreat will help reduce the number of fights you both have to endure.

Featured photo credit: JanDix via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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