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10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

Let’s face it. When your partner is humorous, life is just brighter, funnier, less stressful and you feel so much better. A sulky or bad tempered partner just cannot compete. It is just a different ball game. Let us look and see why humorous people make great partners and if there is any research to back this up.

1. They create a stronger bond.

When your partner can joke or make you laugh, then there’s an immediate bond because you are sharing an experience which is pleasurable and fun. When somebody told me that their partner’s laugh was never far away, it was a confirmation that their relationship was solid and stable. Laughter is contagious and it can lighten everything up. It does not mean that your partner is superficial or never takes things seriously. This is a common misconception.

2. They can reduce nagging to a minimum.

“Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:9

Substitute the word wife with husband or partner. Instead of turning into a nag, they can use humor effectively. Look at the example of the wife who was tempted to nag her husband about leaving a dirty plate on the counter. She just said “Thanks for leaving me that ant feast last night.” Humor can also save you from becoming little more than a nag.

3. They make better sexual partners.

According to one anthropologist, women are attracted to men with humor because they regard it instinctively as a sign that they are more intelligent. This immediately puts them in the fast track as gaining success in career and also status. Although this study was specifically about humorous men, experts agree that humor makes for better mating success, whichever gender is involved. However, men prefer women who can laugh at their jokes, one research study shows.

4. They can laugh at their own defects.

Being humorous about their habits and obsessions can really help get the balance right in a relationship. Joking and teasing can also help each partner to put things into perspective and help avoid tension. It also helps them put these in their proper place, without letting them dominate a rapport. It is not true that these jokes are necessarily covering up some cracks in the relationship.

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5. They know when humor will be an asset.

In early dating, a sense of humor is a great asset and it is also a sign that a couple may click. Finding things which are mutually funny creates a great initial bond. But if the woman does not find the man’s jokes funny, it would be better not to laugh at them, according to Eric Bressler in an article in Evolution and Human Behavior.

6. They have a definite advantage when starting to date.

Perhaps it is no surprise to learn that the Tinder messages that get the most replies are those that are playful, funny and humorous. They are demonstrating in a fun way that they are likely to be superior intellectually and much more interesting than those who cannot make a joke, a clever pun, or a play on words. A simple “hey”, “what’s up” or “ur cute” can’t compare. You need to stand out from the crowd, like the example below.

“This girl had only three pictures and no profile description of herself. The last photo was of her looking over a beautiful bay. She had a serious and contemplative look on her face. My first message to her was “Photo 3: Maria gazed over the beautiful and foggy bay wondering what was for dinner.” That was a winner with her” – Guy talking about humorous messages on Tinder.

 7. They lead healthier lives.

They may not be aware of all the medical implications but having a good laugh is really good for their health and yours. Nothing like a belly laugh to get some air full of oxygen into your heart, lungs and muscles. That process, like physical exercise, releases endorphins in the brain and you will be in a better mood. In the long term, the benefits for health are enormous as it provides pain relief and even improves your immune system. The next time your partner makes you laugh, enjoy it even more by reflecting on how good this is for your health.

8. They need humor because things can get too serious.

Some people claim that being around funny people is all a bit exhausting as you have to laugh at their jokes all the time and they are never really serious. But if you take away all the humor, life is deadly dull and we become wrapped up in our own circumstances, negative thoughts and fears. So, when a humorous partner can lift you out of that, she or he is helping us to look at the funny side, to see another point of view and get out of our worry zone.

9. They never use humor destructively.

It is true that some humorous individuals are not so charming, funny and delightful. What about those colleagues who use so called humor for hurtful teasing, bullying and delighting in people’s misfortune or bad luck? There are other psychological aspects of humor to be considered. For example, when or if they indulge in this type of humor to use it in attacking persons on the basis of their religious beliefs, sexual orientation or race. I would run a mile from a person like that, wouldn’t you?

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10. They help to lift you on to another planet.

“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes.

Escaping reality is not always possible but a humorous partner will help you to temporarily escape. That is worth so much. The only problem is that you have to use other criteria, apart from humor, so choose wisely!

“Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely.” – Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Featured photo credit: Tarde n parquet/ Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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