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10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

Let’s face it. When your partner is humorous, life is just brighter, funnier, less stressful and you feel so much better. A sulky or bad tempered partner just cannot compete. It is just a different ball game. Let us look and see why humorous people make great partners and if there is any research to back this up.

1. They create a stronger bond.

When your partner can joke or make you laugh, then there’s an immediate bond because you are sharing an experience which is pleasurable and fun. When somebody told me that their partner’s laugh was never far away, it was a confirmation that their relationship was solid and stable. Laughter is contagious and it can lighten everything up. It does not mean that your partner is superficial or never takes things seriously. This is a common misconception.

2. They can reduce nagging to a minimum.

“Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:9

Substitute the word wife with husband or partner. Instead of turning into a nag, they can use humor effectively. Look at the example of the wife who was tempted to nag her husband about leaving a dirty plate on the counter. She just said “Thanks for leaving me that ant feast last night.” Humor can also save you from becoming little more than a nag.

3. They make better sexual partners.

According to one anthropologist, women are attracted to men with humor because they regard it instinctively as a sign that they are more intelligent. This immediately puts them in the fast track as gaining success in career and also status. Although this study was specifically about humorous men, experts agree that humor makes for better mating success, whichever gender is involved. However, men prefer women who can laugh at their jokes, one research study shows.

4. They can laugh at their own defects.

Being humorous about their habits and obsessions can really help get the balance right in a relationship. Joking and teasing can also help each partner to put things into perspective and help avoid tension. It also helps them put these in their proper place, without letting them dominate a rapport. It is not true that these jokes are necessarily covering up some cracks in the relationship.

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5. They know when humor will be an asset.

In early dating, a sense of humor is a great asset and it is also a sign that a couple may click. Finding things which are mutually funny creates a great initial bond. But if the woman does not find the man’s jokes funny, it would be better not to laugh at them, according to Eric Bressler in an article in Evolution and Human Behavior.

6. They have a definite advantage when starting to date.

Perhaps it is no surprise to learn that the Tinder messages that get the most replies are those that are playful, funny and humorous. They are demonstrating in a fun way that they are likely to be superior intellectually and much more interesting than those who cannot make a joke, a clever pun, or a play on words. A simple “hey”, “what’s up” or “ur cute” can’t compare. You need to stand out from the crowd, like the example below.

“This girl had only three pictures and no profile description of herself. The last photo was of her looking over a beautiful bay. She had a serious and contemplative look on her face. My first message to her was “Photo 3: Maria gazed over the beautiful and foggy bay wondering what was for dinner.” That was a winner with her” – Guy talking about humorous messages on Tinder.

 7. They lead healthier lives.

They may not be aware of all the medical implications but having a good laugh is really good for their health and yours. Nothing like a belly laugh to get some air full of oxygen into your heart, lungs and muscles. That process, like physical exercise, releases endorphins in the brain and you will be in a better mood. In the long term, the benefits for health are enormous as it provides pain relief and even improves your immune system. The next time your partner makes you laugh, enjoy it even more by reflecting on how good this is for your health.

8. They need humor because things can get too serious.

Some people claim that being around funny people is all a bit exhausting as you have to laugh at their jokes all the time and they are never really serious. But if you take away all the humor, life is deadly dull and we become wrapped up in our own circumstances, negative thoughts and fears. So, when a humorous partner can lift you out of that, she or he is helping us to look at the funny side, to see another point of view and get out of our worry zone.

9. They never use humor destructively.

It is true that some humorous individuals are not so charming, funny and delightful. What about those colleagues who use so called humor for hurtful teasing, bullying and delighting in people’s misfortune or bad luck? There are other psychological aspects of humor to be considered. For example, when or if they indulge in this type of humor to use it in attacking persons on the basis of their religious beliefs, sexual orientation or race. I would run a mile from a person like that, wouldn’t you?

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10. They help to lift you on to another planet.

“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes.

Escaping reality is not always possible but a humorous partner will help you to temporarily escape. That is worth so much. The only problem is that you have to use other criteria, apart from humor, so choose wisely!

“Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely.” – Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Featured photo credit: Tarde n parquet/ Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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