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10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

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10 Reasons Humorous People Are Amazing Partners

Let’s face it. When your partner is humorous, life is just brighter, funnier, less stressful and you feel so much better. A sulky or bad tempered partner just cannot compete. It is just a different ball game. Let us look and see why humorous people make great partners and if there is any research to back this up.

1. They create a stronger bond.

When your partner can joke or make you laugh, then there’s an immediate bond because you are sharing an experience which is pleasurable and fun. When somebody told me that their partner’s laugh was never far away, it was a confirmation that their relationship was solid and stable. Laughter is contagious and it can lighten everything up. It does not mean that your partner is superficial or never takes things seriously. This is a common misconception.

2. They can reduce nagging to a minimum.

“Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:9

Substitute the word wife with husband or partner. Instead of turning into a nag, they can use humor effectively. Look at the example of the wife who was tempted to nag her husband about leaving a dirty plate on the counter. She just said “Thanks for leaving me that ant feast last night.” Humor can also save you from becoming little more than a nag.

3. They make better sexual partners.

According to one anthropologist, women are attracted to men with humor because they regard it instinctively as a sign that they are more intelligent. This immediately puts them in the fast track as gaining success in career and also status. Although this study was specifically about humorous men, experts agree that humor makes for better mating success, whichever gender is involved. However, men prefer women who can laugh at their jokes, one research study shows.

4. They can laugh at their own defects.

Being humorous about their habits and obsessions can really help get the balance right in a relationship. Joking and teasing can also help each partner to put things into perspective and help avoid tension. It also helps them put these in their proper place, without letting them dominate a rapport. It is not true that these jokes are necessarily covering up some cracks in the relationship.

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5. They know when humor will be an asset.

In early dating, a sense of humor is a great asset and it is also a sign that a couple may click. Finding things which are mutually funny creates a great initial bond. But if the woman does not find the man’s jokes funny, it would be better not to laugh at them, according to Eric Bressler in an article in Evolution and Human Behavior.

6. They have a definite advantage when starting to date.

Perhaps it is no surprise to learn that the Tinder messages that get the most replies are those that are playful, funny and humorous. They are demonstrating in a fun way that they are likely to be superior intellectually and much more interesting than those who cannot make a joke, a clever pun, or a play on words. A simple “hey”, “what’s up” or “ur cute” can’t compare. You need to stand out from the crowd, like the example below.

“This girl had only three pictures and no profile description of herself. The last photo was of her looking over a beautiful bay. She had a serious and contemplative look on her face. My first message to her was “Photo 3: Maria gazed over the beautiful and foggy bay wondering what was for dinner.” That was a winner with her” – Guy talking about humorous messages on Tinder.

 7. They lead healthier lives.

They may not be aware of all the medical implications but having a good laugh is really good for their health and yours. Nothing like a belly laugh to get some air full of oxygen into your heart, lungs and muscles. That process, like physical exercise, releases endorphins in the brain and you will be in a better mood. In the long term, the benefits for health are enormous as it provides pain relief and even improves your immune system. The next time your partner makes you laugh, enjoy it even more by reflecting on how good this is for your health.

8. They need humor because things can get too serious.

Some people claim that being around funny people is all a bit exhausting as you have to laugh at their jokes all the time and they are never really serious. But if you take away all the humor, life is deadly dull and we become wrapped up in our own circumstances, negative thoughts and fears. So, when a humorous partner can lift you out of that, she or he is helping us to look at the funny side, to see another point of view and get out of our worry zone.

9. They never use humor destructively.

It is true that some humorous individuals are not so charming, funny and delightful. What about those colleagues who use so called humor for hurtful teasing, bullying and delighting in people’s misfortune or bad luck? There are other psychological aspects of humor to be considered. For example, when or if they indulge in this type of humor to use it in attacking persons on the basis of their religious beliefs, sexual orientation or race. I would run a mile from a person like that, wouldn’t you?

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10. They help to lift you on to another planet.

“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes.

Escaping reality is not always possible but a humorous partner will help you to temporarily escape. That is worth so much. The only problem is that you have to use other criteria, apart from humor, so choose wisely!

“Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely.” – Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Featured photo credit: Tarde n parquet/ Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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