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50 Things Only People Who Are In True Love Would Understand

50 Things Only People Who Are In True Love Would Understand

There is something that comes with loving someone. You are ready to put up with all the dramas you will never have put up with ordinarily. You are happy for the first time in your life, I mean really happy despite all these struggles in the following list.

1. You always think of him/her when walking in the street seeing many different things.

2. You appreciate every lyric of your favorite love song and you believe so much in the exact words.

3. There is power in every look at your significant other.

4. You can appreciate the other person’s flaws and still be madly in love.

5. You will argue a lot, but you know that no one is perfect and you are cool with that.

6. You are not complete until the other is around.

7. You want to be there until the end of the other person’s life.

8. You do not see commitment; rather you see safety and security in being with the other person.

9. You become sad too when he/she is depressed.

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10. You become an addict of every soap opera you see.

11. You are not afraid of losing it all to love – rather you are courageous and want to risk it all.

12. You can wait; yes you can, because emotions that wait run deeper.

13. You are not heads over heels in love, rather you are standing tall.

14. You can’t explain to anyone how you feel.

15. You spend special moments in a hot tub with him/her and it is like a period of forever bliss.

16. You are happy when the other person is happy.

17. You make sacrifices for the other person’s well-being.

18. You want to make the other person feel person special, despite the effort it will take.

19. You hurt them and you feel bad, you can’t pay the other person back for a wrong. You simply are stuck sometimes, sorry.

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20. You make promises to them…

21. …And you can keep those promises no matter what.

22. It is not “me” anymore. Rather it is “we”. Everything you think of is not about you but about us.

23. You are ready to work as a team to make each other happy.

24. You are scared of losing the other person.

25. You go for long walks along the beach anytime you are together.

26. He/she is worth everything you can give to them.

27. You can’t understand your feelings and no other person will also.

28. You are not jealous; rather you are proud of whatever the other person accomplishes even if the other person excels at something you failed at.

29. You are willing to suffer just to make the other person happy.

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30. You now appreciate “good nights” because it could mean a kiss a hug or saying something assuring.

31. You experience their pain and it is simply a part of you when he/she is experiencing a suffering.

32. You suddenly become an optimist as you believe everything will turn out well.

33. You wear his/her clothes and you are as comfortable in them as in your own.

34. You find out he/she is more important than the meals you eat.

35. Well, sometimes you can get jealous in mini-doses.

36. Kinky might be too far, but blindfolds are good.

37. Every day you wake up to promises and possibilities.

38. You learn new activities just because you want to please the other person.

39. You suddenly become a poet.

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40. You want to be the best husband/wife.

41. You write poetry for each other

42. You both wear the same cologne anytime you are together.

43. You piss off some friends in the process of being together all the time.

44. You have incense, backlights, candles and music for cuddling anytime you are together.

45. You only feel great when you are with him/her, so you leave parties early.

46. You love celebrity couples and it drives you nuts when one of them cheats.

47. People start asking you when you will be getting married and have kids.

48. You now start hating the idea of being alone wherever you go.

49. You have an incredibly new Facebook status which tells everyone else to back off.

50. You flirt with each other when you are in public and sometimes forget the existence of passers-by.

Featured photo credit: The Kiss…/Thomas Leuthard via imcreator.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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