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50 Things Only People Who Are In True Love Would Understand

50 Things Only People Who Are In True Love Would Understand

There is something that comes with loving someone. You are ready to put up with all the dramas you will never have put up with ordinarily. You are happy for the first time in your life, I mean really happy despite all these struggles in the following list.

1. You always think of him/her when walking in the street seeing many different things.

2. You appreciate every lyric of your favorite love song and you believe so much in the exact words.

3. There is power in every look at your significant other.

4. You can appreciate the other person’s flaws and still be madly in love.

5. You will argue a lot, but you know that no one is perfect and you are cool with that.

6. You are not complete until the other is around.

7. You want to be there until the end of the other person’s life.

8. You do not see commitment; rather you see safety and security in being with the other person.

9. You become sad too when he/she is depressed.

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10. You become an addict of every soap opera you see.

11. You are not afraid of losing it all to love – rather you are courageous and want to risk it all.

12. You can wait; yes you can, because emotions that wait run deeper.

13. You are not heads over heels in love, rather you are standing tall.

14. You can’t explain to anyone how you feel.

15. You spend special moments in a hot tub with him/her and it is like a period of forever bliss.

16. You are happy when the other person is happy.

17. You make sacrifices for the other person’s well-being.

18. You want to make the other person feel person special, despite the effort it will take.

19. You hurt them and you feel bad, you can’t pay the other person back for a wrong. You simply are stuck sometimes, sorry.

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20. You make promises to them…

21. …And you can keep those promises no matter what.

22. It is not “me” anymore. Rather it is “we”. Everything you think of is not about you but about us.

23. You are ready to work as a team to make each other happy.

24. You are scared of losing the other person.

25. You go for long walks along the beach anytime you are together.

26. He/she is worth everything you can give to them.

27. You can’t understand your feelings and no other person will also.

28. You are not jealous; rather you are proud of whatever the other person accomplishes even if the other person excels at something you failed at.

29. You are willing to suffer just to make the other person happy.

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30. You now appreciate “good nights” because it could mean a kiss a hug or saying something assuring.

31. You experience their pain and it is simply a part of you when he/she is experiencing a suffering.

32. You suddenly become an optimist as you believe everything will turn out well.

33. You wear his/her clothes and you are as comfortable in them as in your own.

34. You find out he/she is more important than the meals you eat.

35. Well, sometimes you can get jealous in mini-doses.

36. Kinky might be too far, but blindfolds are good.

37. Every day you wake up to promises and possibilities.

38. You learn new activities just because you want to please the other person.

39. You suddenly become a poet.

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40. You want to be the best husband/wife.

41. You write poetry for each other

42. You both wear the same cologne anytime you are together.

43. You piss off some friends in the process of being together all the time.

44. You have incense, backlights, candles and music for cuddling anytime you are together.

45. You only feel great when you are with him/her, so you leave parties early.

46. You love celebrity couples and it drives you nuts when one of them cheats.

47. People start asking you when you will be getting married and have kids.

48. You now start hating the idea of being alone wherever you go.

49. You have an incredibly new Facebook status which tells everyone else to back off.

50. You flirt with each other when you are in public and sometimes forget the existence of passers-by.

Featured photo credit: The Kiss…/Thomas Leuthard via imcreator.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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