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8 Terrible Traits That Make You Unpopular

8 Terrible Traits That Make You Unpopular

It seems fitting I would sit down to write this article on a Monday morning, a time when many 9-5ers are at their worst. We all have bad days, and probably exhibit these traits at least once in a while, no matter how good of a person we really are. However, if you find yourself exhibiting any of these traits on a daily basis, it might be time to seek some help before your actions begin affecting your relationships at home and at work.

1. You are arrogant

An elitist attitude will get your nowhere in life. To project to the world that you think you’re better than everyone else out there simply shows how short-sighted and narrow-minded you are. The smartest and most successful people in the world got that way because they know there is always someone better than they are, and they continuously strive to improve. Believing you’re the best will impede your progress, and leave you stagnant. You should always remain humble, and always look for ways to improve your skills in some way.

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2. You are rude

Rude people have no filter, and don’t pay much attention to social conventions. They don’t take other people’s feelings into consideration, and believe the world exists only for them to live in it. Rude people often ignore others, and in turn are very lonely. You never know what connections you may make if you open yourself up to others rather than shutting them out. Even something as simple as holding a door open for someone could end up making his or her day. Being polite will almost certainly lead to bigger and better things.

3. You are dishonest

Everyone probably has told small lies once in a while. However, chronic lying can lead to disaster. Dishonest people try to weasel their way out of bad situations, instead of facing the truth and admitting mistakes. The problem with this is they must continue to construct lie after lie in order to hide the truth, while it would be much more productive to simply tell the truth and work toward improving their life from there. Obviously, people who lie are not trustworthy, and will lose friends and relationships if they continue to live a lie.

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4. You are temperamental

Some people are so inconsistent with their moods that it’s impossible to approach them, since you have no idea which side you’ll be getting. Those that are happy one day and miserable the next (when there is no obvious reason for the change) are uncomfortable to be around, as they often can be “set off” by even the slightest occurrence. Try to stay even keel when interacting with others, regardless of what situations you’re dealing with in your personal life. That way, when you truly are upset about something (and deservedly so), people will support you rather than run from you.

5. You are unreliable

It’s one thing to not offer to help someone out, but it’s another to make the offer and not follow through. Friends and coworkers who say they’ll do something for you, but put it off til the last minute (if they get to it at all), have proven to you that they can’t be trusted. Once you offer to do something for another person, completing the task should be your first priority (barring emergency circumstances, of course). Showing you can be counted on is one of the most important personality traits you can exhibit if you wish to build on a relationship.

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6. You are pessimistic

Nobody likes a “Debbie Downer.” Sure, there are a ton of problems in the world, but there is also a lot of good as well. Focusing on the negatives is no way to go through life, and no one will want to be around someone that always sees the glass as half empty. Even if things aren’t currently going your way, it never hurts to look on the bright side of life. Sure, things could always be better; but they could also be a lot worse. Count your blessings and give thanks for everything you do have in life, rather than wish you had more.

7. You are controlling

Controlling people micromanage the lives of everyone around them. The indication here is that they don’t give others credit for knowing how to live or do their job. Overbearing parents, bosses, and spouses leave others feeling unworthy and less likely to strive to do better. Controlling people are often abusive and condescending, and their counterpart will feel as if they have to walk on eggshells for fear of angering them. Being democratic and allowing others to be free to “do their own thing” will certainly lead to much better relationships across the board.

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8. You are mean

I saved the most obvious one for last. Nobody wants to be around mean people who constantly angry at everything around them. Like rude people, they have no filter; however, mean-spirited people will actively go out of their way to upset others. If you’ve ever worked with a mean person, you probably have gotten that bubbly feeling in your stomach every morning before you stepped into the office. One bad seed is enough to bring down an entire environment. Though mean people will always exist, it’s important for you to combat the trend by being as kind as possible to everyone around you.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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