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8 Terrible Traits That Make You Unpopular

8 Terrible Traits That Make You Unpopular

It seems fitting I would sit down to write this article on a Monday morning, a time when many 9-5ers are at their worst. We all have bad days, and probably exhibit these traits at least once in a while, no matter how good of a person we really are. However, if you find yourself exhibiting any of these traits on a daily basis, it might be time to seek some help before your actions begin affecting your relationships at home and at work.

1. You are arrogant

An elitist attitude will get your nowhere in life. To project to the world that you think you’re better than everyone else out there simply shows how short-sighted and narrow-minded you are. The smartest and most successful people in the world got that way because they know there is always someone better than they are, and they continuously strive to improve. Believing you’re the best will impede your progress, and leave you stagnant. You should always remain humble, and always look for ways to improve your skills in some way.

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2. You are rude

Rude people have no filter, and don’t pay much attention to social conventions. They don’t take other people’s feelings into consideration, and believe the world exists only for them to live in it. Rude people often ignore others, and in turn are very lonely. You never know what connections you may make if you open yourself up to others rather than shutting them out. Even something as simple as holding a door open for someone could end up making his or her day. Being polite will almost certainly lead to bigger and better things.

3. You are dishonest

Everyone probably has told small lies once in a while. However, chronic lying can lead to disaster. Dishonest people try to weasel their way out of bad situations, instead of facing the truth and admitting mistakes. The problem with this is they must continue to construct lie after lie in order to hide the truth, while it would be much more productive to simply tell the truth and work toward improving their life from there. Obviously, people who lie are not trustworthy, and will lose friends and relationships if they continue to live a lie.

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4. You are temperamental

Some people are so inconsistent with their moods that it’s impossible to approach them, since you have no idea which side you’ll be getting. Those that are happy one day and miserable the next (when there is no obvious reason for the change) are uncomfortable to be around, as they often can be “set off” by even the slightest occurrence. Try to stay even keel when interacting with others, regardless of what situations you’re dealing with in your personal life. That way, when you truly are upset about something (and deservedly so), people will support you rather than run from you.

5. You are unreliable

It’s one thing to not offer to help someone out, but it’s another to make the offer and not follow through. Friends and coworkers who say they’ll do something for you, but put it off til the last minute (if they get to it at all), have proven to you that they can’t be trusted. Once you offer to do something for another person, completing the task should be your first priority (barring emergency circumstances, of course). Showing you can be counted on is one of the most important personality traits you can exhibit if you wish to build on a relationship.

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6. You are pessimistic

Nobody likes a “Debbie Downer.” Sure, there are a ton of problems in the world, but there is also a lot of good as well. Focusing on the negatives is no way to go through life, and no one will want to be around someone that always sees the glass as half empty. Even if things aren’t currently going your way, it never hurts to look on the bright side of life. Sure, things could always be better; but they could also be a lot worse. Count your blessings and give thanks for everything you do have in life, rather than wish you had more.

7. You are controlling

Controlling people micromanage the lives of everyone around them. The indication here is that they don’t give others credit for knowing how to live or do their job. Overbearing parents, bosses, and spouses leave others feeling unworthy and less likely to strive to do better. Controlling people are often abusive and condescending, and their counterpart will feel as if they have to walk on eggshells for fear of angering them. Being democratic and allowing others to be free to “do their own thing” will certainly lead to much better relationships across the board.

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8. You are mean

I saved the most obvious one for last. Nobody wants to be around mean people who constantly angry at everything around them. Like rude people, they have no filter; however, mean-spirited people will actively go out of their way to upset others. If you’ve ever worked with a mean person, you probably have gotten that bubbly feeling in your stomach every morning before you stepped into the office. One bad seed is enough to bring down an entire environment. Though mean people will always exist, it’s important for you to combat the trend by being as kind as possible to everyone around you.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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