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10 Reasons Why Book Lovers Are Good Lovers

10 Reasons Why Book Lovers Are Good Lovers

Book lovers are great lovers. People who love art, including books, are more attuned to the nuances of love making and what makes a person “tick.” They have several characteristics that distinguish them from people that rarely pick up a book to read. Most of all, they are able to stay in the moment and be fully present as they are generally more introverted.

According to both 2006 and 2009 studies published by Raymond Mar, a psychologist at York University in Canada, and Keith Oakley, a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, people that enjoy reading might be more compassionate and have more empathy.The researchers used the term “theory of mind” to describe empathy as the ability to respect other people’s opinions, beliefs, and interests. This quality also makes them better lovers.

Another study in 2006 completed in Europe found that people that enjoy reading fiction throughout their lives also show better social skills and empathy, although the same study didn’t find the same results for people who read non-fiction primarily. Reading fiction can be compared to dating thousands of different characters.

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1. They are more in touch with their own emotions as well as their lover’s emotions.

Book lovers have a capacity for understanding emotions better as they have taken time, through reading books, to witness a variety of human emotions and grasp what their partners emotional needs are.

Love making is not just about the right technique or approach. Book lovers understand that human emotions are complex and have learned about the importance of emotions through reading books and identifying themselves with different characters. A key aspect of sexual power is emotional intimacy and being capable of compassion.

2. They are open-minded and willing to learn new things.

Book lovers are generally fascinated by other cultures, habits, and worldview. They are not afraid to try new things and that includes exploring new positions and new ways of relating to their lovers in a sensuous way. They are not afraid to explore uncharted territory.

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3. They are sensitive to their lovers’ needs.

Book lovers are more attuned to their lovers needs. Just think about Lady Chatterley’s lover. Words have power and we all want to be not just loved, but also understood. They inquire about their lovers’ needs and are willing to please them. They’ve learned what it means to be a man or a woman.

4. They are great listeners and communicators

Book lovers have acquired great language skills. They will write you great letters and even poems. They don’t just give short answers; they are capable of deep thoughts and profound theories.

5. They make time and don’t rush

Book lovers are able to stay in the moment and this is something that they had acquired from reading. Reading is based on being able to let go off other thoughts and focus on the story at hand. It is almost like they are in the story themselves. They are able to pay attention to all of the senses including touch, smell, taste, and voice. They are mindful and they may even have a meditation practice which helps them to be more mindful during love making.

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6. They are wise

Book lovers are not just smart, they are wise. They have acquired a skill of introspection through reading books. They can be witty and they have higher cognitive functions than the average non-reader. They are also capable of spotting patterns and are able to communicate more thoroughly and effectively.

7. They are great story tellers

Book lovers have great communications skills and vocabulary and they are able to create a loving and sensuous environment. They use images, senses, and symbols to heighten the senses and the experience of love making.

8. They are supportive and non-judgmental

Book lovers have learned that to be not just good but great lovers, they need to act more like their heroes in their books. They are generally supportive and non-judgmental, which is really important in love making. Lovers need to feel at ease with their bodies and their love making.

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9. They are generally non-materialistic and value art and the finer things in life

Book lovers know that there is much more to life than just acquiring money and assets. They love all kinds of art, including books and movies which makes them more appealing to their lovers. They have more depth and they are able to entertain their lovers by reading great quotes from their favorite authors. They may know about suffering and loss and they have found comfort in books.

10. They know themselves

Book lovers know what pleases them or displeases them. As a result, they are better able to express both their emotional and sexual needs. The language of love making includes thoughts and perceptions that unite rather than separate. Think of the metaphor “two hearts beating as one.”

Featured photo credit: Young man reading a book via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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