Book lovers are great lovers. People who love art, including books, are more attuned to the nuances of love making and what makes a person “tick.” They have several characteristics that distinguish them from people that rarely pick up a book to read. Most of all, they are able to stay in the moment and be fully present as they are generally more introverted.
According to both 2006 and 2009 studies published by Raymond Mar, a psychologist at York University in Canada, and Keith Oakley, a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, people that enjoy reading might be more compassionate and have more empathy.The researchers used the term “theory of mind” to describe empathy as the ability to respect other people’s opinions, beliefs, and interests. This quality also makes them better lovers.
Another study in 2006 completed in Europe found that people that enjoy reading fiction throughout their lives also show better social skills and empathy, although the same study didn’t find the same results for people who read non-fiction primarily. Reading fiction can be compared to dating thousands of different characters.
1. They are more in touch with their own emotions as well as their lover’s emotions.
Book lovers have a capacity for understanding emotions better as they have taken time, through reading books, to witness a variety of human emotions and grasp what their partners emotional needs are.
Love making is not just about the right technique or approach. Book lovers understand that human emotions are complex and have learned about the importance of emotions through reading books and identifying themselves with different characters. A key aspect of sexual power is emotional intimacy and being capable of compassion.
2. They are open-minded and willing to learn new things.
Book lovers are generally fascinated by other cultures, habits, and worldview. They are not afraid to try new things and that includes exploring new positions and new ways of relating to their lovers in a sensuous way. They are not afraid to explore uncharted territory.
3. They are sensitive to their lovers’ needs.
Book lovers are more attuned to their lovers needs. Just think about Lady Chatterley’s lover. Words have power and we all want to be not just loved, but also understood. They inquire about their lovers’ needs and are willing to please them. They’ve learned what it means to be a man or a woman.
4. They are great listeners and communicators
Book lovers have acquired great language skills. They will write you great letters and even poems. They don’t just give short answers; they are capable of deep thoughts and profound theories.
5. They make time and don’t rush
Book lovers are able to stay in the moment and this is something that they had acquired from reading. Reading is based on being able to let go off other thoughts and focus on the story at hand. It is almost like they are in the story themselves. They are able to pay attention to all of the senses including touch, smell, taste, and voice. They are mindful and they may even have a meditation practice which helps them to be more mindful during love making.
6. They are wise
Book lovers are not just smart, they are wise. They have acquired a skill of introspection through reading books. They can be witty and they have higher cognitive functions than the average non-reader. They are also capable of spotting patterns and are able to communicate more thoroughly and effectively.
7. They are great story tellers
Book lovers have great communications skills and vocabulary and they are able to create a loving and sensuous environment. They use images, senses, and symbols to heighten the senses and the experience of love making.
8. They are supportive and non-judgmental
Book lovers have learned that to be not just good but great lovers, they need to act more like their heroes in their books. They are generally supportive and non-judgmental, which is really important in love making. Lovers need to feel at ease with their bodies and their love making.
9. They are generally non-materialistic and value art and the finer things in life
Book lovers know that there is much more to life than just acquiring money and assets. They love all kinds of art, including books and movies which makes them more appealing to their lovers. They have more depth and they are able to entertain their lovers by reading great quotes from their favorite authors. They may know about suffering and loss and they have found comfort in books.
10. They know themselves
Book lovers know what pleases them or displeases them. As a result, they are better able to express both their emotional and sexual needs. The language of love making includes thoughts and perceptions that unite rather than separate. Think of the metaphor “two hearts beating as one.”
Featured photo credit: Young man reading a book via shutterstock.com