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12 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Woman Who Doesn’t Mind Being Single

12 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Woman Who Doesn’t Mind Being Single

Being single is this amazing woman’s choice, not because she has been blacklisted by half of the population. She buys her own flowers and decorates her own soul; under no misconception that she is defined by having a partner. She doesn’t worry about her relationship status because she is fulfilled with herself, with her life and choices and dreams and purpose. She is also probably surrounded by suitors because well, confidence is sexy. And there are things you need to understand if you are one of these that hope to woo her.

1. She’s probably had her heart broken recently.

This means she will be extra cautious, fragile, sensitive and aware.

2. She’s not looking to take care of you.

Your laundry, cooking and “atta-boys” are not her responsibility. She needs you to understand your role as a lover and partner, not mother, maid or shrink.

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3. She knows what she’s into.

At a certain age we all know how we like our coffee, how we like our steak, and how we like our men (or women). This self-awareness is hard-won and in a way, liberating. She respects the bumps and bruises that led to this knowledge.

4. She’s a lion and a princess.

Is she sitting around and waiting to be rescued? Ha! Hardly. She’s a lion, out there taking charge and making her own way in the world. She does however, appreciate gallantry and courtesy. And will treat you in kind.

5. She’s looking for a partner, not a crutch (if she’s looking at all).

She likes inspiration, a cheer squad in her corner and a complex and challenging partner, but she doesn’t need it. There is nothing about a needy relationship that thrills her. She’s complete and validated with herself and through herself. Sexy, isn’t it?

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6. She appreciates the freedom to make a sandwich at 2a.m. Naked.

Living alone has certain appeal: freedom. She recognizes this and revels in it. Asking permission and incessant/unnecessary contact is not appealing, believe me.

7. She expects you to have your own life, because she certainly has hers.

She knows a person cannot make another person whole or complete. A relationship is there to enrich your lives and share with each other, so seeing you have your own friends and hobbies gives her a great sense of relief.

8. She flies solo really well.

She likes talking to strangers, exploring new things, trying new food, traveling. These make her feel connected and adventurous. Her self-esteem, self-awareness and self-reflection are all high and accurate. Not that she’s perfect. But she’s damn close and having fun experiencing all that she can!

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9. She’s her own “Killer of Spiders”.

For this, she deserves a badge of honor. There are handymen- tinkering around fixing parts and problems. She doesn’t need a handyman because she’s her own; from fixing her car to exterminating arachnids, she’s got this.

10. She lives and loves wholly.

She doesn’t settle for less in a romantic relationship (that is courage and strong will). She does however love her family, friends and previous partners. She is giving to all who she loves and just because a previous relationship ended, doesn’t mean it ended with animosity.

11. She’s enjoying it.

She might not be “attached” or in the “it’s serious” stage, but you can be certain she’s having a hell of a time dating.

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12. She’s a straight shooter.

That stuff we did in middle school: the gossip, insincere compliments, dramatic ploys for attention? It’s not in her repertoire, there’s no point and it makes no one feel good. Which doesn’t mean she doesn’t engage in witty repartee, she just chooses to respect herself and others.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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