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How To Mend Broken Relationships And Build Anew

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How To Mend Broken Relationships And Build Anew

Sometimes our relationships take a turn for the worse. We say things we shouldn’t say, or carry out actions that hurt the other person. In doing so, we may risk losing vital relationships; but there are ways to repair these relationships and make them stronger than before.

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    1. Forget the Past

    In forgetting the past, all of the negative emotions are washed away. Any toxic feelings, moments, and memories are burned away, leaving one refreshed. It is hard, but it can help you feel better about the situation. When we forgive, and forget the past, we start with a clean slate. Who doesn’t want to start life with a fresh, clean, and new slate?

    2. Apologize

    If there was a fight or complication, regardless of the perpetrator, apologize. Apologies are always accepted regardless of how big the situation.

    Yes, it takes time but it is completely worth every bit of waiting. There is no shame in apologizing; the apologizer and the forgiver both come to a consensus of beginning anew once more. That is the primary thought that counts and is helpful in any given situation, and begins the healing process.

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    3. Make Sure There Is Trust

    All relationships require trust. If there isn’t trust, the foundation may not last. Trust is the starting point of every relationship. It can create or destroy them.

    When you trust someone, you put your faith in them no matter what may happen, and you choose to stay by their side. In mending relationships, this is important. You should demonstrate that you trust the other person completely before the new start of your relationship with them.

    It is beautiful to see faith in any relationship because it is essential in both maintaining and mending relationships.

    4. Be Focused

    There is nothing greater than focus. Try and focus on what needs to be fixed before delving too far in the situation.

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    Try to see where the differences lie. This will allow you to tread carefully and cautiously without hurting the other person. Trying to keep everyone’s feelings in place allows for ease in relationships and makes everyone feel wanted. Make sure you know what you want in the relationship.

    Knowing what you want in the distant future makes things a lot easier in the near future. Just make sure to have faith in yourself. Know who you are and who the other person is, and together you can figure out how to re-start.

    5. Build Anew

    Let bygones be bygones.

    Don’t stay where you were yesterday in the argument. Try to move on, and if you try, you eventually will be able to move on. If you live the same life for 75 years, that is not a life.

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    People change, and so do times and circumstances. People are a result of these changes.

    Don’t let little things get to you, and just move on. It will make you feel better in the long run. That is a guarantee. Who doesn’t like change? Now that we have a clean slate, we can write whatever we want to on it. It doesn’t matter. It is new.

    6. Start With Love

    There is nothing greater than love. Go with a clean heart and tell the other person what you truly feel.

    Love is essential in healing. Love can prevent further damage.

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    Love mends everything. It is something that we all crave more than anything in this world. It beats money, honor, or gratitude.

    Love is something that when given can only increase. It is unconditional and something so majestic and pure that it cannot be described fully in words.

    We build trust, faith, and confidence with love.

    Love has such strength; far greater than the greatest wonders of the world.

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    Make sure your new relationship has love because it is truly unbeatable. It can outwit, outlast, anything in this world!

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      Ramanpreet Kaur

      Currently a student but don't know what direction to go in: Let us see if writing gets me anywhere :)

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      Last Updated on November 18, 2021

      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

      We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

      A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

      So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

      • honest
      • reliable
      • competent
      • kind and compassionate
      • capable of taking the blame
      • able to persevere
      • modest and humble
      • pacific and can control anger.

      The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

      1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

      All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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      But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

      2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

      How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

      I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

      “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

      Abigail Van Buren

      3. How does this person take the blame?

      Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

      4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

      You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

      5. Read their emails.

      Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

      • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
      • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
      • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
      • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
      • Too many question marks can show anger
      • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

      6. Watch out for the show offs.

      Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

      7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

      A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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      Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

      8. Their empathy score is high.

      Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

      People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

      9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

      We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

      “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

      Stendhal

       10. Avoid toxic people.

      These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

      • Envy or jealousy
      • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
      • Complaining about their own lack of success
      • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
      • Obsession with themselves and their problems

      Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

      Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

      Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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