Advertising
Advertising

5 Reasons to Embrace Vulnerability

5 Reasons to Embrace Vulnerability

In 2010, Brené Brown gave a TedTalk revolving around the concept of the power of vulnerability. She discusses the importance of expanding one’s comfort zone, and the many positive effects doing so can have on a person. Despite being quite nervous about giving the talk herself, Brown accomplished her goal of proving the power of vulnerability not just by giving the speech, but also through the response the public has had to her video. The most important effects vulnerability has on people are:

1. Vulnerability allows advancement

Of course, trying something new is always scary. Whether you’re a kindergartner on your first day of school, or a recent college graduate wondering what to do with your life, you’re most likely going to feel some unease about taking the next step forward. It’s natural, and it’s totally okay to feel this way. However, what’s not okay is letting this fear stop you from forging ahead. Expanding your comfort zone is an important step, not just for your own life, but for humanity as a whole. The most important social reforms and technological advancements occurred because a single person stepped out of his comfort zone, and ended up changing the world.

Advertising

2. Vulnerability leads to increased abilities

Those who embrace vulnerability are not scared of the unknown. In fact, they strive to learn and do everything they possibly can. Instead of their inner voice telling them “You can’t do this,” their voice says “You can’t do this…yet.” They view that which they cannot do as a challenge to be overcome, rather than an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, they know it won’t be easy, but that doesn’t stop them from trying. On the contrary, those who embrace vulnerability tend to welcome challenges, and get bored when life is too easy. By acknowledging their shortcomings, they always have goals to accomplish, and will continue to grow on a daily basis.

Advertising

3. Vulnerability allows openness with others

People who accept their own vulnerability are incredibly open about their lives. This accomplishes two goals: For one, being open with others results in finding true compatibility. For those with high expectations of their own lives, it’s important for them to surround themselves with friends and family who support them, and continue to push them further. On the other hand, being open with superficial friends who might not be so receptive of such behavior is a good way to weed out the toxic relationships in one’s life. Although they might be considered friends, it’s important to realize that getting along with someone doesn’t necessarily make them good for you or your life goals. It’s important to known who will really be there for you in the long run, and who’s only around for the fun times.

Advertising

4. Vulnerability allows openness to self

It seems counterintuitive, but embracing vulnerability can build self-confidence. By putting yourself on stage for all to see, physically or metaphorically, such as Brené did during her TedTalk, you’re inviting your audience to comment on your performance and abilities. Of course, this can be incredibly scary and intimidating, but it can also be truly rewarding. Especially in today’s connected world, in which billions of people could be reading this right now (I wish!), it’s a given that there will be a large percentage of people who disagree with what you’re saying. Aside from the trolls obviously looking to get a rise out of you, listen to those who disagree; they’ll teach you a lot about a variety of perspectives, and will help you grow. Of course, there will definitely be those who completely agree with you, and you can always fall back on their supportive comments when you feel discouraged.

5. Vulnerability makes discomfort comfortable

Again, just writing that makes it seem counterintuitive, but the more you embrace vulnerability and the state of being uncomfortable, the more comfortable you will be with expanding your comfort zone. Confused? Sorry about that. Maybe this anecdote will clear it up: I remember a year ago speaking with a colleague on a Monday about what we did over the weekend. At the time, my boring answer was “I did absolutely nothing and I loved it.” She responded with, “Oh man, I’m not like that at all. I have to keep moving or I feel worthless.” I then found out that not only is she a teacher, mother, and wife, but she also helps run a deli. Sure, she complained about being tired like we all do, but she finds being tired a worthy trade-off for all the other amazing things she has going in her life. To her, sleeping comfortably until noon would actually be uncomfortable. And it makes sense: Why waste the life you’ve been blessed with when you can take full advantage of all of your abilities, and change the world, and yourself, in the process?

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

Advertising

More by this author

20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water Which Type of Visa Do You Need to Travel Abroad?

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next