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4 Reasons Why You Should Not Look Through Your Partner’s Phone

4 Reasons Why You Should Not Look Through Your Partner’s Phone

Your partner gets up and off the couch and tells you “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be out in a bit.”

You say “Okay.”

Then a minute later you hear the bathroom door lock, the shower turn on, and finally, the pleasant sound of water crashing on the tub. And then it hits you! Your partner left their phone right next to you, and you have a sudden and profound urge to look through it!

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You know the password and you know you can easily search through it while they’re in the shower. You know you have at least 10, if not 15 minutes to go to town on their text messages and even email, and you have a burning desire to do just that! You justify your actions in your head and ready yourself to scour through it.

But here are 4 reasons why that is a terrible idea!

1. You’re Violating Their Trust In You

Your partner has put trust in you by leaving their phone out in the open. They have shown respect and faith in you, so at the very least, you should offer them the same in return. By secretly searching through their phone, you’re breaking this trust and respect.

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2. You’re Setting Your Relationship Back

By violating the trust you seemingly had with your partner, you set your relationship back. Whether you find anything suspicious doesn’t matter. The fact that you don’t trust your companion shows that you’re not heading in the right direction with them. The insecurity of believing that they are not committed to you speaks volumes about where you really are with them. By hiding something, you only traverse further in the wrong direction!

3. Many Different Negative Scenarios Can Play Out

If you do decide to look through their phone, all sorts of unintended consequences can play out. For one, your partner can catch you—which would not only be incredibly awkward, but potentially relationship-ending! Nobody wants someone who secretively and connivingly goes through their stuff when they’re not around. If your partner catches you doing this, there is a decent chance they will end things with you.

You could also see something you weren’t meant to see. There are certain personal things that your partner does not need to be sharing, and you might happen to stumble upon one of these things. From awkward pictures of themselves that were intended only for them to see, to really personal messages between them and their family or friends, to weird searches they’ve made on Google. “Some stones are better left unturned,” as the saying goes, and this cannot be better emphasized than in looking through someone’s phone. You may not like what you see.

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4. You Wouldn’t Want Them To Do It

If it were you going into that shower, you know for sure that you would not want your partner going through your stuff! Who would? Some people obviously wouldn’t care as much as others about this, especially those who have nothing to hide, but even still, nobody would enjoy somebody else secretly invading their privacy.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

This is typically the most effective expression for interacting with other people. If you wouldn’t want someone doing something to you, you should probably not do it to them either.

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Instead of trying to look through their phone when they are not around, try being more upfront and honest with them about things. If you suspect they may be hiding something, ask them. Talk to them before secretly breaking their trust. This upfront honesty is far better than secretively going through their personal information when they are not around. If you truly have trust with your partner, however, you won’t even have to consider this option.

If you still feel an urge to do this, then you should seriously question your relationship. Perhaps you are with someone who doesn’t really want to be with you. Or perhaps you are with someone whom you really don’t want to be with! Either way, there is definitely a deeper, underlying issue at hand.

Featured photo credit: Japanexperterna.se via flickr.com

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Justin Stenstrom

Nationally-Acclaimed Life Coach

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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