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4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

As you grew up, you were probably presented with difficult situations you were too young to fully understand. This most likely may have caused you to develop limiting beliefs in many different areas within your life.

Whether it be around money, gender stereotypes, or yourself, these dis-empowering beliefs are most likely still lingering in the back of your mind holding you back from accomplishing what you truly desire. We all have limiting beliefs, and it’s these beliefs that hold us back from following our dreams.

I believe that if you implement these 4 ideas into your life, you’ll start removing your self-limiting beliefs today and create a more empowering lifestyle for yourself!

1. Identify Your Limiting Belief

To make things simple, a limiting belief is an assumption about reality that isn’t true. It’s true to you because you believe it to be true, but this assumption of what is true is holding you back from growing as a person. The key here to identifying your limiting beliefs is to first get clear on what your beliefs are.

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This means take a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything that you believe to be true in your reality. Here’s an example:

  1. I believe God is the creator of everything.
  2. I believe I create my own reality.
  3. I believe there is an abundance of money for all.

Whatever it is that you believe, write it down. The next step is to observe. Observe the beliefs you just wrote down. When speaking about what you believe to be true to yourself or another person, observe what you say. Usually our limiting beliefs will reveal themselves through the words that we speak and feelings we feel.

If you’re talking about your beliefs with a friend and you both get into a dispute about what each of you believe, observe your point of view and take note of theirs.Then seek for the truth.

Be open to new information and try to search for an answer around this topic. Your goal here is to find and embody a more holistic, empowering and universal belief to replace the old one.

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2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Do you tend to put other people above yourself and believe that you can’t accomplish what they can? When we compare ourselves to others in this way, it tends to kill our confidence and makes us feel inferior. Do you have some type of skill that you feel confident about? When watching someone who is more skilled than you, do you start comparing yourself to them?

Maybe you start focusing on how much better they are and start thinking that you’re not good enough. This leads you into doubting yourself and even your dreams. This type of thinking is natural, but it doesn’t help. There is no reason to downplay your potential because someone else is currently better.

There will always be someone with more expertise and more experience than you. This doesn’t have to mean anything about you though, unless you make it about you. You are a unique person with unique traits and skills, and other people with more success than you in various areas don’t dictate the success you can create for yourself!

Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself with another person. If you do this in a self-criticizing way, this does nothing but hold you back from your full potential.

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3. Stop Letting The Past Define Your Future

Do you tend to relive past mistakes and failures? Everyone has made mistakes in their life, but not everyone interprets mistakes in the same way. Mistakes and failures from your past don’t have to define what is possible for your future. But this is exactly how many people view their past.

They let the past define who they are and end up limiting the possibilities for their future. The past doesn’t have to define or limit you. Your future is created in this present moment of time. Realize the mistakes you have made, let the past go, move on and create a future for yourself where that mistake has liberated you!

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Take Action And Test Your Assumptions

Nothing will shatter your limiting beliefs like pushing your boundaries and living on the edge.

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Your dis-empowering beliefs tend to bring up fear, anxiety, and overall resistance in your life. When we feel resistance, we interpret this as a sign that we aren’t doing something right, or that we can’t do something. We hit a roadblock and stop doing what we know needs to be done.

Instead of letting the feeling of resistance keep you stuck, get in motion and do what you know works. This is where developing empowering beliefs comes in handy. Your new empowering beliefs will keep you motivated and determined to accomplish your end goals! Don’t assume you can’t do something because you feel fearful and nervous. These feelings simply mean you are venturing out your comfort zone and enhancing your personal growth.

Removing limiting beliefs is only hard if you make it. Follow what I’ve outlined today, open yourself up to developing new and more empowering beliefs and nothing will be able to stop your from becoming your greatest self!

Do you think you have a belief that is holding you back or have you overcome any limiting beliefs? Let me know in the comments below!

Featured photo credit: Photopin via pixabay.com

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Donovan Barrett

Millennial Ambassador

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Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

We all crave constructive feedback. We want to know not just what we’re doing well but also what we could be doing better.

However, giving and getting constructive feedback isn’t just some feel-good exercise. In the workplace, it’s part and parcel of how companies grow.

Let’s take a closer look.

Why Constructive Feedback Is Critical

A culture of feedback benefits individuals on a team and the team itself. Constructive feedback has the following effects:

Builds Workers’ Skills

Think about the last time you made a mistake. Did you come away from it feeling attacked—a key marker of destructive feedback—or did you feel like you learned something new?

Every time a team member learns something, they become more valuable to the business. The range of tasks they can tackle increases. Over time, they make fewer mistakes, require less supervision, and become more willing to ask for help.

Boosts Employee Loyalty

Constructive feedback is a two-way street. Employees want to receive it, but they also want the feedback they give to be taken seriously.

If employees see their constructive feedback ignored, they may take it to mean they aren’t a valued part of the team. Nine in ten employees say they’d be more likely to stick with a company that takes and acts on their feedback.[1]

Strengthens Team Bonds

Without trust, teams cannot function. Constructive feedback builds trust because it shows that the giver of the feedback cares about the success of the recipient.

However, for constructive feedback to work its magic, both sides have to assume good intentions. Those giving the feedback must genuinely want to help, and those getting it has to assume that the goal is to build them up rather than to tear them down.

Promotes Mentorship

There’s nothing wrong with a single round of constructive feedback. But when it really makes a difference is when it’s repeated—continuous, constructive feedback is the bread and butter of mentorship.

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Be the change you want to see on your team. Give constructive feedback often and authentically, and others will naturally start to see you as a mentor.

Clearly, constructive feedback is something most teams could use more of. But how do you actually give it?

How to Give Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is tricky. Get it wrong, and your message might fall on deaf ears. Get it really wrong, and you could sow distrust or create tension across the entire team.

Here are ways to give constructive feedback properly:

1. Listen First

Often, what you perceive as a mistake is a decision someone made for a good reason. Listening is the key to effective communication.

Seek to understand: how did the other person arrive at her choice or action?

You could say:

  • “Help me understand your thought process.”
  • “What led you to take that step?”
  • “What’s your perspective?”

2. Lead With a Compliment

In school, you might have heard it called the “sandwich method”: Before (and ideally, after) giving difficult feedback, share a compliment. That signals to the recipient that you value their work.

You could say:

  • “Great design. Can we see it with a different font?”
  • “Good thinking. What if we tried this?”

3. Address the Wider Team

Sometimes, constructive feedback is best given indirectly. If your comment could benefit others on the team, or if the person whom you’re really speaking to might take it the wrong way, try communicating your feedback in a group setting.

You could say:

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  • “Let’s think through this together.”
  • “I want everyone to see . . .”

4. Ask How You Can Help

When you’re on a team, you’re all in it together. When a mistake happens, you have to realize that everyone—not just the person who made it—has a role in fixing it. Give constructive feedback in a way that recognizes this dynamic.

You could say:

  • “What can I do to support you?”
  • “How can I make your life easier?
  • “Is there something I could do better?”

5. Give Examples

To be useful, constructive feedback needs to be concrete. Illustrate your advice by pointing to an ideal.

What should the end result look like? Who has the process down pat?

You could say:

  • “I wanted to show you . . .”
  • “This is what I’d like yours to look like.”
  • “This is a perfect example.”
  • “My ideal is . . .”

6. Be Empathetic

Even when there’s trust in a team, mistakes can be embarrassing. Lessons can be hard to swallow. Constructive feedback is more likely to be taken to heart when it’s accompanied by empathy.

You could say:

  • “I know it’s hard to hear.”
  • “I understand.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

7. Smile

Management consultancies like Credera teach that communication is a combination of the content, delivery, and presentation.[2] When giving constructive feedback, make sure your body language is as positive as your message. Your smile is one of your best tools for getting constructive feedback to connect.

8. Be Grateful

When you’re frustrated about a mistake, it can be tough to see the silver lining. But you don’t have to look that hard. Every constructive feedback session is a chance for the team to get better and grow closer.

You could say:

  • “I’m glad you brought this up.”
  • “We all learned an important lesson.”
  • “I love improving as a team.”

9. Avoid Accusations

Giving tough feedback without losing your cool is one of the toughest parts of working with others. Great leaders and project managers get upset at the mistake, not the person who made it.[3]

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You could say:

  • “We all make mistakes.”
  • “I know you did your best.”
  • “I don’t hold it against you.”

10. Take Responsibility

More often than not, mistakes are made because of miscommunications Recognize your own role in them.

Could you have been clearer in your directions? Did you set the other person up for success?

You could say:

  • “I should have . . .”
  • “Next time, I’ll . . .”

11. Time it Right

Constructive feedback shouldn’t catch people off guard. Don’t give it while everyone is packing up to leave work. Don’t interrupt a good lunch conversation.

If in doubt, ask the person to whom you’re giving feedback to schedule the session themselves. Encourage them to choose a time when they’ll be able to focus on the conversation rather than their next task.

12. Use Their Name

When you hear your name, your ears naturally perk up. Use that when giving constructive feedback. Just remember that constructive feedback should be personalized, not personal.

You could say:

  • “Bob, I wanted to chat through . . .”
  • “Does that make sense, Jesse?”

13. Suggest, Don’t Order

When you give constructive feedback, it’s important not to be adversarial. The very act of giving feedback recognizes that the person who made the mistake had a choice—and when the situation comes up again, they’ll be able to choose differently.

You could say:

  • “Next time, I suggest . . .”
  • “Try it this way.”
  • “Are you on board with that?”

14. Be Brief

Even when given empathetically, constructive feedback can be uncomfortable to receive. Get your message across, make sure there are no hard feelings, and move on.

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One exception? If the feedback isn’t understood, make clear that you have plenty of time for questions. Rushing through what’s clearly an open conversation is disrespectful and discouraging.

15. Follow Up

Not all lessons are learned immediately. After giving a member of your team constructive feedback, follow it up with an email. Make sure you’re just as respectful and helpful in your written feedback as you are on your verbal communication.

You could say:

  • “I wanted to recap . . .”
  • “Thanks for chatting with me about . . .”
  • “Did that make sense?”

16. Expect Improvement

Although you should always deliver constructive feedback in a supportive manner, you should also expect to see it implemented. If it’s a long-term issue, set milestones.

By what date would you like to see what sort of improvement? How will you measure that improvement?

You could say:

  • “I’d like to see you . . .”
  • “Let’s check back in after . . .”
  • “I’m expecting you to . . .”
  • “Let’s make a dent in that by . . .”

17. Give Second Chances

Giving feedback, no matter how constructive, is a waste of time if you don’t provide an opportunity to implement it. Don’t set up a “gotcha” moment, but do tap the recipient of your feedback next time a similar task comes up.

You could say:

  • “I know you’ll rock it next time.”
  • “I’d love to see you try again.”
  • “Let’s give it another go.”

Final Thoughts

Constructive feedback is not an easy nut to crack. If you don’t give it well, then maybe it’s time to get some. Never be afraid to ask.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

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