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4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

As you grew up, you were probably presented with difficult situations you were too young to fully understand. This most likely may have caused you to develop limiting beliefs in many different areas within your life.

Whether it be around money, gender stereotypes, or yourself, these dis-empowering beliefs are most likely still lingering in the back of your mind holding you back from accomplishing what you truly desire. We all have limiting beliefs, and it’s these beliefs that hold us back from following our dreams.

I believe that if you implement these 4 ideas into your life, you’ll start removing your self-limiting beliefs today and create a more empowering lifestyle for yourself!

1. Identify Your Limiting Belief

To make things simple, a limiting belief is an assumption about reality that isn’t true. It’s true to you because you believe it to be true, but this assumption of what is true is holding you back from growing as a person. The key here to identifying your limiting beliefs is to first get clear on what your beliefs are.

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This means take a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything that you believe to be true in your reality. Here’s an example:

  1. I believe God is the creator of everything.
  2. I believe I create my own reality.
  3. I believe there is an abundance of money for all.

Whatever it is that you believe, write it down. The next step is to observe. Observe the beliefs you just wrote down. When speaking about what you believe to be true to yourself or another person, observe what you say. Usually our limiting beliefs will reveal themselves through the words that we speak and feelings we feel.

If you’re talking about your beliefs with a friend and you both get into a dispute about what each of you believe, observe your point of view and take note of theirs.Then seek for the truth.

Be open to new information and try to search for an answer around this topic. Your goal here is to find and embody a more holistic, empowering and universal belief to replace the old one.

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2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Do you tend to put other people above yourself and believe that you can’t accomplish what they can? When we compare ourselves to others in this way, it tends to kill our confidence and makes us feel inferior. Do you have some type of skill that you feel confident about? When watching someone who is more skilled than you, do you start comparing yourself to them?

Maybe you start focusing on how much better they are and start thinking that you’re not good enough. This leads you into doubting yourself and even your dreams. This type of thinking is natural, but it doesn’t help. There is no reason to downplay your potential because someone else is currently better.

There will always be someone with more expertise and more experience than you. This doesn’t have to mean anything about you though, unless you make it about you. You are a unique person with unique traits and skills, and other people with more success than you in various areas don’t dictate the success you can create for yourself!

Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself with another person. If you do this in a self-criticizing way, this does nothing but hold you back from your full potential.

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3. Stop Letting The Past Define Your Future

Do you tend to relive past mistakes and failures? Everyone has made mistakes in their life, but not everyone interprets mistakes in the same way. Mistakes and failures from your past don’t have to define what is possible for your future. But this is exactly how many people view their past.

They let the past define who they are and end up limiting the possibilities for their future. The past doesn’t have to define or limit you. Your future is created in this present moment of time. Realize the mistakes you have made, let the past go, move on and create a future for yourself where that mistake has liberated you!

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Take Action And Test Your Assumptions

Nothing will shatter your limiting beliefs like pushing your boundaries and living on the edge.

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Your dis-empowering beliefs tend to bring up fear, anxiety, and overall resistance in your life. When we feel resistance, we interpret this as a sign that we aren’t doing something right, or that we can’t do something. We hit a roadblock and stop doing what we know needs to be done.

Instead of letting the feeling of resistance keep you stuck, get in motion and do what you know works. This is where developing empowering beliefs comes in handy. Your new empowering beliefs will keep you motivated and determined to accomplish your end goals! Don’t assume you can’t do something because you feel fearful and nervous. These feelings simply mean you are venturing out your comfort zone and enhancing your personal growth.

Removing limiting beliefs is only hard if you make it. Follow what I’ve outlined today, open yourself up to developing new and more empowering beliefs and nothing will be able to stop your from becoming your greatest self!

Do you think you have a belief that is holding you back or have you overcome any limiting beliefs? Let me know in the comments below!

Featured photo credit: Photopin via pixabay.com

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Donovan Barrett

Millennial Ambassador

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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