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4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

4 Ways Regular People Can Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs

As you grew up, you were probably presented with difficult situations you were too young to fully understand. This most likely may have caused you to develop limiting beliefs in many different areas within your life.

Whether it be around money, gender stereotypes, or yourself, these dis-empowering beliefs are most likely still lingering in the back of your mind holding you back from accomplishing what you truly desire. We all have limiting beliefs, and it’s these beliefs that hold us back from following our dreams.

I believe that if you implement these 4 ideas into your life, you’ll start removing your self-limiting beliefs today and create a more empowering lifestyle for yourself!

1. Identify Your Limiting Belief

To make things simple, a limiting belief is an assumption about reality that isn’t true. It’s true to you because you believe it to be true, but this assumption of what is true is holding you back from growing as a person. The key here to identifying your limiting beliefs is to first get clear on what your beliefs are.

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This means take a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything that you believe to be true in your reality. Here’s an example:

  1. I believe God is the creator of everything.
  2. I believe I create my own reality.
  3. I believe there is an abundance of money for all.

Whatever it is that you believe, write it down. The next step is to observe. Observe the beliefs you just wrote down. When speaking about what you believe to be true to yourself or another person, observe what you say. Usually our limiting beliefs will reveal themselves through the words that we speak and feelings we feel.

If you’re talking about your beliefs with a friend and you both get into a dispute about what each of you believe, observe your point of view and take note of theirs.Then seek for the truth.

Be open to new information and try to search for an answer around this topic. Your goal here is to find and embody a more holistic, empowering and universal belief to replace the old one.

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2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Do you tend to put other people above yourself and believe that you can’t accomplish what they can? When we compare ourselves to others in this way, it tends to kill our confidence and makes us feel inferior. Do you have some type of skill that you feel confident about? When watching someone who is more skilled than you, do you start comparing yourself to them?

Maybe you start focusing on how much better they are and start thinking that you’re not good enough. This leads you into doubting yourself and even your dreams. This type of thinking is natural, but it doesn’t help. There is no reason to downplay your potential because someone else is currently better.

There will always be someone with more expertise and more experience than you. This doesn’t have to mean anything about you though, unless you make it about you. You are a unique person with unique traits and skills, and other people with more success than you in various areas don’t dictate the success you can create for yourself!

Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself with another person. If you do this in a self-criticizing way, this does nothing but hold you back from your full potential.

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3. Stop Letting The Past Define Your Future

Do you tend to relive past mistakes and failures? Everyone has made mistakes in their life, but not everyone interprets mistakes in the same way. Mistakes and failures from your past don’t have to define what is possible for your future. But this is exactly how many people view their past.

They let the past define who they are and end up limiting the possibilities for their future. The past doesn’t have to define or limit you. Your future is created in this present moment of time. Realize the mistakes you have made, let the past go, move on and create a future for yourself where that mistake has liberated you!

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Take Action And Test Your Assumptions

Nothing will shatter your limiting beliefs like pushing your boundaries and living on the edge.

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Your dis-empowering beliefs tend to bring up fear, anxiety, and overall resistance in your life. When we feel resistance, we interpret this as a sign that we aren’t doing something right, or that we can’t do something. We hit a roadblock and stop doing what we know needs to be done.

Instead of letting the feeling of resistance keep you stuck, get in motion and do what you know works. This is where developing empowering beliefs comes in handy. Your new empowering beliefs will keep you motivated and determined to accomplish your end goals! Don’t assume you can’t do something because you feel fearful and nervous. These feelings simply mean you are venturing out your comfort zone and enhancing your personal growth.

Removing limiting beliefs is only hard if you make it. Follow what I’ve outlined today, open yourself up to developing new and more empowering beliefs and nothing will be able to stop your from becoming your greatest self!

Do you think you have a belief that is holding you back or have you overcome any limiting beliefs? Let me know in the comments below!

Featured photo credit: Photopin via pixabay.com

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Donovan Barrett

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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