February 27th, 2009 in Featured, Lifestyle

Six Great Ways to Vent Your Frustrations

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We all have ups and downs to life. How do you deal with the downs? Do you numb yourself and avoid them? Or do you find the hidden gift held within them?

Each time a painful emotion is felt, it provides an opportunity. Pain gives us the gift of growth in a hidden package. Something is shouting out for a change. If we pause and open this gift, a great secret of freedom and love can be revealed. Sometimes when the pain is large enough, we have no choice but to look at it anyway. My largest pains have helped to open the greatest growths in my life. Hey, it’s worth a shot, right?

Finding a healthy way to vent can even help to relieve anxiety, something more and more of us are suffering from in these times. Those who don’t find a healthy way of venting often stuff it inside until they explode one day or get into the habit of finding ways to numb themselves, such as eating. Venting can help to truly relieve stress, which is known to cause many ailments and “dis-eases” in our bodies.

Before true clarity can be reached on why something is happening, it is best to free up the strong energy that arises from the frustration of the situation. Once that energy has been expressed, you can rest in the stillness, while still connected to the power of emotion, to reach the greatest levels of clarity possible. It is here where our insight is at a natural high. With the power of the openness we have after pain, our greatest growth can happen. We can release the ties to these situations and grow beyond them.

Here are some ways to vent out the frustrations, sadness, and anger that arise as a normal part of growing and a healthy life:

  1. Cry. When you feel deeply sad, crying works beautifully. Often when we cry, we want a shoulder to cry on. If none is available, cry to yourself and receive it with love. Either way, allowing yourself the space to cry can work wonders on freeing up the stored up energy inside that is too much to contain within. While crying connect with the pain you feel and cry into it.
  2. Punch. If you feel very angry, you may feel the desire to hit something. A very healthy way of exerting this powerful energy is to punch a pillow. Hit the pillow like it’s the person/thing you are angry at. Yell and cuss at it as well if that helps to release that tension. Cuss words are great at opening up that stored up energy and getting to the root of your emotions. As you hit, smash into that frustration and feel exactly what aspects of it are making you angry.
  3. Write. Writing can help to clear the overwhelm of information in your head. It allows a pouring out of what is going on inside. Once you’ve written all you can, some things will still stand out or certain feelings may still be felt strongly. These are the largest lessons in the situation. Writing provides a great clarity that other ways may not give. You can easily reflect on what you were feeling in the situation once the emotion has passed in an effort to keep the lesson fresh in your mind and heart. Some people enjoy tearing up the pages after they’ve written as a way to exert their frustration. Molly Cook suggests capturing the emotions and negative energy in the paper, for your eyes only, as a private way to vent. Laurel Sutton recommends online communities such as Asshat! They allow a platform for transforming your frustration into an amusing rant and provide the opportunity for anonymous feedback, if desired.
  4. Exercise. Some of your most frustrating days in your life may turn out to be your best days in the gym. As Jen Olewinski so beautifully puts it, “Plus, getting in shape can’t be that bad right?” Running, boxing and walking all allow great ways to vent. Many spiritual people find their way into their deepest connections through opening the door to regular exercise. Exerting energy in this way, with a regular commitment to their health, opens them like nothing else.
  5. Talk. One woman told me the story of a nurse who rode the bus every day. She found a way to stay remarkably young-looking by letting go of anger immediately. She did not direct it at her family or others. Instead, she got on the bus and waited for a passenger to sit near. She’d ask if they minded listening to her and if not, she’d share her dilemma. Once she’d talked it out, she’d thank them and get off the bus. Often times, we can learn so much just by hearing ourselves speak and we don’t need much feedback at all. If you have a trusted confident or teacher, even better.
  6. Create Art. What better to do than to channel this energy into creating something beautiful? Pablo Solomon is an artist who bangs a hung of stone with a hammer and chisel to release his tension. He used the frustration of 9/11 to make it one of his most productive times ever.

So how do you vent? Please share. You may help someone else who will connect with what you do…

WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY

Danielle Marie Crume

I'm always exploring the ideal experience, ultimate lifestyle design, and most enjoyable dance with time.

Director of Creation for Aham Prema.

Chief creator of the Daily Seed WholeBook, a tool for whole development.

Core Manager for O C E A N Embodiment Center.

Author. Mother. Sister. Explorer. Enthusiast.

ARTICLES BY THIS WRITER »
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Comments

  • Tsessebe says on February 27th, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Actually, strangely enough, Martin Seligman, a (former?) president of the American Psychologocial Association and pretty famous positive psychologist, is sooo against venting your frustration. So far in two of his books that I’ve read, he’s said that it’s a dangerous yet popular idea that makes things worse, leading to anger, rumination, and at worse self-harm. So far I don’t know what the alternatives he suggests are but I’m not done reading “Learned Optimism” yet, but it was definitely a contrarian opinion.

    Some of his books:
    What You Can Change and What You Can’t: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement

    Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

  • Mark Foo | TheBigDreamer.com says on February 27th, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Watch a comedy! Laughing is a good cure. In fact, it’s the best cure!

    Besides, it’s a good way to pull yourself away from your frustration for a good 2 hours or so since your focus is on the movie. It’s a good way to calm yourself.

    Cheers~

    Mark

  • Amit says on February 28th, 2009 at 1:20 am

    I write everytime I am depressed or angry. This helps me to capture the memories, enables me to get even with that person or thing when time is on my side … ;)

  • Vincent says on February 28th, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Hi Marie,

    Exercising is my way of venting my frustration. It helps me feel better afterwards and also help to keep me in shape.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  • John H60 says on February 28th, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    I find great peace after about an hour’s worth of the PS2 videogame Mercenaries. The free-flow nature of the game isn’t strictly dependent on completing specific tasks or missions, although you can do that if you wish. Very relaxing to just wander around the game field shooting and blowing things up. Legal, too.

  • RJK3 says on February 28th, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Exercise
    Sex
    Writing in a journal

    Takes care of your mind and body – provides a little reward and time to count your blessings.

  • Yes, But Still... says on March 1st, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    These are good! I’ll reference this next time I’m thoroughly frustrated.

  • Anelly says on March 2nd, 2009 at 4:38 am

    Crying and writing on a piece of paper my feeling or frustration helps me go further and bypass all the negatives feelings. Sometimes I like more to go for a walk alone and it’s strange because in that moments I feel like I’m loosing my contact with the reality and i just walk, I don’t see anyone and i hate to be interrupted and i cannot socialize.

  • Alph says on March 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 am

    Why not exercise AND punch? A pillow sometimes can be too soft. :-)

  • Laura says on March 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am

    I do almost all of the things you’ve listed here, depending on the specific situation and emotion. Often I combine a number of them. The one thing I don’t do is create art when I’m frustrated. I do paint quite a bit outside of being frustrated, but I’ve always found I have to be at peace in order to paint. I might have to try painting when I’m upset some time.

    I also sometimes go out and drink with friends as a means of venting. This is definitely not the healthiest way of managing stress, and certainly should not be recommended to a number of people, but for me it allows me to relax, and laugh about the situation. I make sure when I’m unhappy not to drink excessively, and to continue drinking water throughout the night to avoid a hang over as much as possible. In the morning, I am glad that I had a good time, and that allows me to revisit my frustration with a more positive attitude.

  • Hani Al-Qasem says on March 6th, 2009 at 7:07 am

    I am presently ’studying’ The Sedona Method. Its all about releasing and letting go, and of course this includes letting go of frustration.

    I tried several methods of letting go of frustration. Prior to and perhaps including The Sedona Method is laughter (which can be a struggle at times).

    In the evenings as often as possible I sit down and watch a comedy movie. I don’t laugh at first, but halfway through the movie I enjoy bursts of laughter.

    Thank you for your post.

    Hani
    Personal Growth Specialist
    http://www.free-self-confidence

  • Mr. M says on July 11th, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    I just finished to vent some terrible frustration and found out this website. I find Twitter very good to trash out my emotions. God knows how bad things have been the past year for me… thank God its all about to be over.

  • JP says on July 28th, 2009 at 4:04 am

    All Good Stuff! After being ashamed of my feelings for so long, I wrote a buttload of cuss words and angryness at some imaginary thing I wanted out of me. Just bottled up junk! I never cuss, I’ve always hated it, but I have never been more willing to forgive others than after I realized how weak and base I can be. We’re all just dumb sometimes, but we gotta just let it go, no one is perfect. Feelings are ok!

  • daniel says on August 11th, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Hey all,

    Really good stuffs here. Thanks for the post. Whenever i frustrate or having an anger i will go to http://www.ventma.com and vent all frustration. Itz a kind of social networking site where u can vent your frustration, anger by anonymously write about any cheater, liar or any person that has hated you most. Also i use twitter and ventma games for vent all frustration.

  • Kay Anderson says on November 4th, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Cool list of ways to vent what works for me is, workout,sex, and break stuff!!..lol there all fun, also there is this site i just saw on techcrunch, seem pretty cool. http://www.ventnation.com !

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