Six Great Ways to Vent Your Frustrations

i'm the best

We all have ups and downs to life. How do you deal with the downs? Do you numb yourself and avoid them? Or do you find the hidden gift held within them?

Each time a painful emotion is felt, it provides an opportunity. Pain gives us the gift of growth in a hidden package. Something is shouting out for a change. If we pause and open this gift, a great secret of freedom and love can be revealed. Sometimes when the pain is large enough, we have no choice but to look at it anyway. My largest pains have helped to open the greatest growths in my life. Hey, it’s worth a shot, right?

Finding a healthy way to vent can even help to relieve anxiety, something more and more of us are suffering from in these times. Those who don’t find a healthy way of venting often stuff it inside until they explode one day or get into the habit of finding ways to numb themselves, such as eating. Venting can help to truly relieve stress, which is known to cause many ailments and “dis-eases” in our bodies.

Before true clarity can be reached on why something is happening, it is best to free up the strong energy that arises from the frustration of the situation. Once that energy has been expressed, you can rest in the stillness, while still connected to the power of emotion, to reach the greatest levels of clarity possible. It is here where our insight is at a natural high. With the power of the openness we have after pain, our greatest growth can happen. We can release the ties to these situations and grow beyond them.

Here are some ways to vent out the frustrations, sadness, and anger that arise as a normal part of growing and a healthy life:

  1. Cry. When you feel deeply sad, crying works beautifully. Often when we cry, we want a shoulder to cry on. If none is available, cry to yourself and receive it with love. Either way, allowing yourself the space to cry can work wonders on freeing up the stored up energy inside that is too much to contain within. While crying connect with the pain you feel and cry into it.
  2. Punch. If you feel very angry, you may feel the desire to hit something. A very healthy way of exerting this powerful energy is to punch a pillow. Hit the pillow like it’s the person/thing you are angry at. Yell and cuss at it as well if that helps to release that tension. Cuss words are great at opening up that stored up energy and getting to the root of your emotions. As you hit, smash into that frustration and feel exactly what aspects of it are making you angry.
  3. Write. Writing can help to clear the overwhelm of information in your head. It allows a pouring out of what is going on inside. Once you’ve written all you can, some things will still stand out or certain feelings may still be felt strongly. These are the largest lessons in the situation. Writing provides a great clarity that other ways may not give. You can easily reflect on what you were feeling in the situation once the emotion has passed in an effort to keep the lesson fresh in your mind and heart. Some people enjoy tearing up the pages after they’ve written as a way to exert their frustration. Molly Cook suggests capturing the emotions and negative energy in the paper, for your eyes only, as a private way to vent. Laurel Sutton recommends online communities such as Asshat! They allow a platform for transforming your frustration into an amusing rant and provide the opportunity for anonymous feedback, if desired.
  4. Exercise. Some of your most frustrating days in your life may turn out to be your best days in the gym. As Jen Olewinski so beautifully puts it, “Plus, getting in shape can’t be that bad right?” Running, boxing and walking all allow great ways to vent. Many spiritual people find their way into their deepest connections through opening the door to regular exercise. Exerting energy in this way, with a regular commitment to their health, opens them like nothing else.
  5. Talk. One woman told me the story of a nurse who rode the bus every day. She found a way to stay remarkably young-looking by letting go of anger immediately. She did not direct it at her family or others. Instead, she got on the bus and waited for a passenger to sit near. She’d ask if they minded listening to her and if not, she’d share her dilemma. Once she’d talked it out, she’d thank them and get off the bus. Often times, we can learn so much just by hearing ourselves speak and we don’t need much feedback at all. If you have a trusted confident or teacher, even better.
  6. Create Art. What better to do than to channel this energy into creating something beautiful? Pablo Solomon is an artist who bangs a hung of stone with a hammer and chisel to release his tension. He used the frustration of 9/11 to make it one of his most productive times ever.

So how do you vent? Please share. You may help someone else who will connect with what you do…

  • http://www.notaboek.com Tsessebe

    Actually, strangely enough, Martin Seligman, a (former?) president of the American Psychologocial Association and pretty famous positive psychologist, is sooo against venting your frustration. So far in two of his books that I’ve read, he’s said that it’s a dangerous yet popular idea that makes things worse, leading to anger, rumination, and at worse self-harm. So far I don’t know what the alternatives he suggests are but I’m not done reading “Learned Optimism” yet, but it was definitely a contrarian opinion.

    Some of his books:
    What You Can Change and What You Can’t: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement

    Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

    • Sumoftheparts

      It’s said that the Catharsis Theory, venting, is not the best way to deal with your frustrations, however the use of exercise or physical activities allows your body to get out the growing tension your body feels.  When frustrated or angry your brain automatically goes into hyperdrive and uses the most primal and basic parts of the brain (fight, flight, and freeze regulators) rather than the higher functioning parts.  Getting out the initial tension allows your higher functioning parts to regain some control, thus letting you calm down.

  • http://www.thebigdreamer.com Mark Foo | TheBigDreamer.com

    Watch a comedy! Laughing is a good cure. In fact, it’s the best cure!

    Besides, it’s a good way to pull yourself away from your frustration for a good 2 hours or so since your focus is on the movie. It’s a good way to calm yourself.

    Cheers~

    Mark

  • Amit

    I write everytime I am depressed or angry. This helps me to capture the memories, enables me to get even with that person or thing when time is on my side … ;)

  • http://www.healthmoneysuccess.com/815/love-your-job-no-learn-to-love-it-now/ Vincent

    Hi Marie,

    Exercising is my way of venting my frustration. It helps me feel better afterwards and also help to keep me in shape.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  • John H60

    I find great peace after about an hour’s worth of the PS2 videogame Mercenaries. The free-flow nature of the game isn’t strictly dependent on completing specific tasks or missions, although you can do that if you wish. Very relaxing to just wander around the game field shooting and blowing things up. Legal, too.

  • RJK3

    Exercise
    Sex
    Writing in a journal

    Takes care of your mind and body – provides a little reward and time to count your blessings.

  • Pingback: HeartSongs » Surfer Sunday 111

  • http://www.yesbutstill.com Yes, But Still…

    These are good! I’ll reference this next time I’m thoroughly frustrated.

  • http://blog.cyclope-series.com/ Anelly

    Crying and writing on a piece of paper my feeling or frustration helps me go further and bypass all the negatives feelings. Sometimes I like more to go for a walk alone and it’s strange because in that moments I feel like I’m loosing my contact with the reality and i just walk, I don’t see anyone and i hate to be interrupted and i cannot socialize.

  • Alph

    Why not exercise AND punch? A pillow sometimes can be too soft. :-)

  • Laura

    I do almost all of the things you’ve listed here, depending on the specific situation and emotion. Often I combine a number of them. The one thing I don’t do is create art when I’m frustrated. I do paint quite a bit outside of being frustrated, but I’ve always found I have to be at peace in order to paint. I might have to try painting when I’m upset some time.

    I also sometimes go out and drink with friends as a means of venting. This is definitely not the healthiest way of managing stress, and certainly should not be recommended to a number of people, but for me it allows me to relax, and laugh about the situation. I make sure when I’m unhappy not to drink excessively, and to continue drinking water throughout the night to avoid a hang over as much as possible. In the morning, I am glad that I had a good time, and that allows me to revisit my frustration with a more positive attitude.

  • Pingback: Things I Love Tuesday // 03-01 « Living Creatively Ever After

  • Pingback: Promise Me Something | Get That Job!

  • Pingback: My Life with Fibro | Sad Day Kate: Fibromyalgia and Frustration

  • http://www.free-self-confidence.com Hani Al-Qasem

    I am presently ‘studying’ The Sedona Method. Its all about releasing and letting go, and of course this includes letting go of frustration.

    I tried several methods of letting go of frustration. Prior to and perhaps including The Sedona Method is laughter (which can be a struggle at times).

    In the evenings as often as possible I sit down and watch a comedy movie. I don’t laugh at first, but halfway through the movie I enjoy bursts of laughter.

    Thank you for your post.

    Hani
    Personal Growth Specialist
    http://www.free-self-confidence

  • Pingback: Six Great Ways to Vent Your Frustrations | Self Mastery

  • http://itisforreal.blogspot.com/ Mr. M

    I just finished to vent some terrible frustration and found out this website. I find Twitter very good to trash out my emotions. God knows how bad things have been the past year for me… thank God its all about to be over.

  • JP

    All Good Stuff! After being ashamed of my feelings for so long, I wrote a buttload of cuss words and angryness at some imaginary thing I wanted out of me. Just bottled up junk! I never cuss, I’ve always hated it, but I have never been more willing to forgive others than after I realized how weak and base I can be. We’re all just dumb sometimes, but we gotta just let it go, no one is perfect. Feelings are ok!

  • http://www.ventma.com daniel

    Hey all,

    Really good stuffs here. Thanks for the post. Whenever i frustrate or having an anger i will go to http://www.ventma.com and vent all frustration. Itz a kind of social networking site where u can vent your frustration, anger by anonymously write about any cheater, liar or any person that has hated you most. Also i use twitter and ventma games for vent all frustration.

  • http://www.ventnation.com Kay Anderson

    Cool list of ways to vent what works for me is, workout,sex, and break stuff!!..lol there all fun, also there is this site i just saw on techcrunch, seem pretty cool. http://www.ventnation.com !

  • Pingback: The 90 Best Lifehacks of 2009: The Year in Review - Stepcase Lifehack

  • Pingback: Don’t sweat the small (or big) stuff. | Arbor Glen

  • http://www.mutantraperecords.com Ditty

    I huff spray paint, drink, and punch holes into the walls. That usually helps.

  • rose

    I have one to add. A cool way to vent is to listen intently to music…I listen to every detail since I’m really into music and it helps take away my attention on whatever that’s making me frustrated. Afterwards, I become more forgivable lol. I do this everytime I can’t think straight or if I feel frustrated to the point where I just want to punch someone’s face.

  • Val

    There are also some fun iPod and iPhone applications for venting your frustation. Apps like Punch, iVent, and Slinger that are great ways to blow off steam without compromising your reputation or risking adverse responses.

  • http://yahoo.com sandy

    read the tips to overcome the frustration. felt nice as i too do the same when i am in such situations. now a days life has become to complicated often fighting with hubby which i don like to do but it happens unknowingly cant help.both of us are equally responsible for this . need to stop this for ever want to be happy and ever happy with my hubby….

  • Leslie

    sometimes venting is a great way to let out your frustrations. Go to http://www.imoutragednow.com
    Here you an let others know what you’re outraged about and if enough people join forces, maybe things will change for the better.

  • casey

    Get in your car, put in your favorite CD, and fucking scream your favorite song at the top of your lungs.

  • Eric

    Find a place where you can be alone, Turn on loud music, scream your favourite part and stab the crap out of a pillow or piece of foam.
    or you can just go for a run. that always works too

  • http://www.paulthecounsellor.com.au/anger-management-counselling-melbourne/ Melbourne Counsellor

    All of us experience frustration and it can certainly be hard to find an outlet. I work with a lot of people in my counselling and psychotherapy practice around anger and anger management. Thanks for posting this article, it has some good tips for starting to de-stress.

  • 1019351569

    In 1892, a young man in New York City named David Abercrombie founded the David t. Abercrombie company, company sales advanced outdoor activities and hunting supplies Abercrombie Sale. His customers are some of the money, eat nothing beat Hunt’s uncle, one of the most faithful, was also a successful lawyer, is Ezra Fitch. Ezra Fitch after a long litigation career find life boring, than to sell hunting fun. Finally, in 1904, he succeeded in convincing a Abercrombie do not know how to refuse, he joined the company, from the company name from the difficult to read the Abercrombie become long and hard to read and Abercrombie&Fitch. However, the combination of the two is like marriage, good marriage in everything it’s OK to fight before marriage. Abercrombie Store Abercrombie Fitch conservative attitudes are often forced to have to think of the rapid expansion of catching mad. At this time the A&F is a rich providing sporting goods supplier.

  • 1019351569

    Straight hair is also called electric splint, popular called splint, hair is by direct current heating heating heating or MCH or PTC, conduction to the aluminum heating plates or ceramic plate. GHD Hair Straightener  Hair straightener, Gu Ming TU Nghia is straightened hair, hair by heating elements heat, softening and cooling, to achieve the purpose of straight hair. Straight hair now, you can either straighten and volume. Previous hair straightener, the main users are professional salons Barber from 07 Europe and North America had entered the family personal market, in the home can give the hair SPA. 2010 hair straightener will enter the domestic market in China will develop into a must-have products for personal care, just like comb, popular. chi Hair Straightener

  • remy hair extensions
  • Schaedlermar

    Im so angry with my husband. Its unbearable. We get in a screaming match and things end up thrown. Some how he blames it on me and I give in even if its not my fault. I’m so upset and frustrated. I took my daughter for a walk, it only helped for so long. I want punch a wall. Pillow won’t work, too soft. Let’s just say I”m pissed
     

  • Jackleon

    Me and my dad get in the biggest fights over the smallest thinkgs and I know that arguing back is pointless because he just don’t care. I just huff and moan and don’t who to talk to, maybe just wrighting this comment is a way of venting anger.

  • Church girl

    I don’t know what to feel. My mind is all over the place and at the same time there’s a combination of sadness, anger and anxiety that’s making things worse. There’s not many people I feel free to talk to. And my dilemma is a bit uncommon.

    • Vinaykumar_3002

      i cannot help my self i often get frustrated,get angry, please help me…
      it seems as if im goin to loose every thing bcs of this
      most of the times i get angry and hot on those things which are corect for me
      inspite
      of kowing that those r correct i get angry and frustated later on i
      regret alo nd cry hard ..this is the major problem i m faceing.plase
      please pl,ease please please help im in a trouble loosing hope every
      moment

  • Chris

    Talking to yourself really helps. Just go for a walk somewhere where you can be alone or drive somewhere by yourself and just talk to yourself. Sounds crazy but honestly it’s the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes

  • Geoff

    Drink!  Can take the edge of things, it will eventually lead to alcoholism and death, but as long as you don’t think too far ahead you’ll be fine.

  • Vinaykumar_3002

    i cannot help my self i often get frustrated,get angry, please help me…
    it seems as if im goin to loose every thing bcs of this
    most of the times i get angry and hot on those things which are corect for me
    inspite of kowing that those r correct i get angry and frustated later on i regret alo nd cry hard ..this is the major problem i m faceing.plase please pl,ease please please help im in a trouble loosing hope every moment

  • Gayam Walter

    For all those so-called studies that promote doing nothing about anger, I have a few things to say. What I am about to tell you is real. And my hope in telling it is that it might be helpful.

    I’ve been forced to take many a walk through the hot place and I’m 63 years old now. I was the child of an abusive alcoholic father and ended up in an abusive marriage with a man who took away my keys and locked me out of the house repeatedly whenever I did something that he didn’t like.  I endured homelessness and poverty. My now adult kids are a mess because of all the things that happened and there are long term family problems because of all of this.

    I’m no stranger to frustration and angry feelings. I can tell you for sure that If you are unable to express your feelings depression and anxiety will follow. Of course we can all take refuge in medications and walk around like we’re in LaLa Land like the people in the drug commercials do. But while depressive symptoms can be kept at bay on drugs, the depression won’t go away unless the frustrations are addressed. What you must to do is find a safe outlet to release your anger so you are not going to explode inappropriately, hurting yourself or someone else-either physically or emotionally.

    A lot of therapists suggest writing as an outlet. Over the years I tried writing all this down, and got some short term relief; but, for me, it wasn’t lasting. Every time the dragons came back I’d have to repeat the exercise, and I did this over and over again. I felt like I was watching the same old movie over and over and couldn’t find the button to turn off the VCR.

    What worked for me were more physical therapies. I did scream therapy (Driving my car to a safe remote area-actually a field on a relative’s property- and just letting it all out). I put on protective gear and smashed clay flowerpots. When I ran out of flower pots, I put on protective gear and pounded up a couple of garbage cans with a hammer. I punched a punching bag-and when I didn’t have one handy-I punched a pile of pillows.

    Another thing that really helped me was an activity guided by a therapist. Here’s the protocol. If you’re mad at someone and you aren’t able to express your feelings or if that person is no longer living but haunting you with unhappy memories, a good way to get it out of your system is to take a chair, put it in the middle of the room and visualize the person who hurt you sitting there. Rant. Tell it all. Shout. Scream. Heck, if it makes you feel better, take a towel and swat the chair, too, for effect. This is nothing new, by the way. It’s a kind of modified Gestalt. And it works.

    I was so hurt and so broken. When I finally sought help for my situation I was guided toward a support group of others women who had gone through similar circumstances, and I was pressured to take meds. I refused and found the therapist referenced above, instead, who guided me through the routines.

    Other women who gave in and just went with the drugs are still walking around like Zombies. Once I got the anger out of my system I was able to get a job, a car and a condo; and get on with my life.

    Nuff said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601099307 Vaibhav Gupta

    Thank you.

    I find that punching the wall (unprotected) and/or screaming into a pillow helps me. For me hurting myself a little physically helps relieve mental hurt. But I don’t recommend it because people tend to take things too far.