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Learn to Say No To These 5 Things To Be A Lot Closer To Success

Learn to Say No To These 5 Things To Be A Lot Closer To Success

Are you over-extending yourself to get ahead, and find that it’s actually holding you back?

Many people all over the world are making this very mistake. Right now. They’re saying “yes” to responsibilities they simply cannot take on. Why? Because they’ve mistakenly been told that this is how people succeed. By saying “yes” to absolutely everything asked of them at work, in hopes they’ll get recognition in the form of a promotion or raise.

But this won’t work, and it’ll never work. It can’t work, because the person unwilling to say “no” never has enough time to put excellence into all they do. They do it to a standard of “enough” and move on to the next task, hoping that they’ll manage to get all done in time. They won’t stand out against the work of the person willing to say “no,” because these people have the time to excel at what they’ve said yes to.

You’re probably thinking something along the lines of, “but I can’t say ‘no’ to everything, then I’ll never get noticed. I’ll probably get called lazy, and be in an even worse position!” and you’re right. You can’t say “no” to everything. You will get called lazy. You will not get much in the way of beneficial recognition. So what can you say no to?

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That’s why you’re reading this, you’re going to learn 5 things to say no to — to help you get closer to the success you’ve been dreaming of.

1. Say No to Taking on Other People’s Responsibility

You’re not there to do someone else’s workload. You’ve got your own. Even if you had the time to take on their work, and then made it an incredible piece — they’ll end up taking the responsibility for it. You’ll never get credited for it, so there’s simply no reason to do so.

On the flip side, if you were to do a poor job of it (because you’ve overextended yourself) — guess who would get blamed for it? You. The minute the boss calls on the other party to explain the mess, you’ll get thrown under the bus. Because it was you who done the work. You agreed to do it. That’s how it goes.

Of course, there are exceptions. If you have the time and it’s an emergency, help your friend out. Connections are a vital part of success, and burning every bridge on the way up is not beneficial to your career or your life. This should be a last resort though. It’s likely that they could just explain to the upper management in most cases.

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2. Say No to Burning Out

You’re of no use to anyone when you’ve worked so hard that you’re burnt. Your productivity falls through the floor, your work quality is nowhere near your usual excellence, you’re cranky, your relationships with co-workers and your family suffers — it’s just detriment after detriment. There’s no benefit to working that much. Not for anyone.

So how do you usually end up getting burnt out? By saying yes to extra work that you simply do not have time for. Your break time shouldn’t be seen as expendable time, that you can sacrifice whenever you think you can take on that extra project. Breaks are a necessity. They keep you focused, energised and ready for work.

Figure out how much you can say yes to on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Figure out how much time you’ll set aside for breaks. Say no without hesitation to any work that may interfere with you getting that allotted break time. Break time is arguably more crucial than the time you’re doing work because it’s what allows you to keep working.

3. Say No to Sacrificing Family Time (at Least Most of the Time)

Those who are successful have a found a way to balance home life and work life. They don’t sacrifice one for the other. This is vital to do because success is only possible if what you’re doing is sustainable. Sacrificing family time is not sustainable if you want to maintain a family, obviously.

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Every successful person has a support net of friends and family underneath them. It’s how they push through the hardest of times. It’s how they relax. It’s how they have a purpose beyond their work life. It also serves as a great reminder as to why you’re trying to succeed in the first place, to provide for those who supported you through it.

Never give up that net. Never burn those bridges because of work. Never burn those bridges because of ‘success.’ You’re already far more successful than you realise if you have these kinds of people around you, appreciate every moment you can get with them.

4. Say No to Unclear Expectations

There is nothing worse than committing to something without clarifying exactly when it is your duties will be fulfilled. It’s unnecessary headache, stress and honestly — it’s just downright unprofessional. Not knowing where you stand going into a project isn’t setting the right tone for your success.

When faced with taking on work that isn’t clarified, actively seek out to clarify exactly what it is, when it needs to be done by, and what it is you’re expected to do. If you can’t get honest and direct answers to these, then say no. If you feel it’s out of your skill-set, and you have no time to learn the needed skills, once clarified — say no.

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Success is not just about ensuring the work is done to a great standard, or to the right deadline. It’s also about how you present yourself. If you present yourself as the person that will actively take on projects without clarity on what it is that needs to be done, you won’t be taken seriously. You’ll just become another workhorse.

5. Say No to Becoming Someone You’re Not

If your work success is pushing you to be someone you’re not comfortable becoming — it’s not for you. Success is not worth sacrificing yourself for. There are many paths to success, but there is only one of you. You are unique. You deserve to live to your highest potential, not the highest potential of someone else’s expectations.

Sacrificing who you are to reach success is not a successful act. You’re sacrificing the unique value you bring to a situation, that’ll truly make you unique, in order to fit someone else’s expectations of what you should do for them. In fact, this is the very thing that holds many people back from success.

Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. Do not be afraid to be the person you want to be. Only you can truly define your success for you, and no one is going to turn around and say they’re happy and successful if they had to sacrifice themselves to get there.

So there you have it, 5 things to say no to if you want to be successful. What about you, do you have anything to add to this list?

Drop them in the comments below, and don’t forget to share this article to all who’d benefit from it!

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Powerful Habits To Win In Office Politics

7 Powerful Habits To Win In Office Politics

Office politics – a taboo word for some people. It’s a pervasive thing at the workplace.

In its simplest form, workplace politics is simply about the differences between people at work; differences in opinions, conflicts of interests are often manifested as office politics. It all goes down to human communications and relationships.

There is no need to be afraid of office politics. Top performers are those who have mastered the art of winning in office politics. Below are 7 good habits to help you win at the workplace:

1. Be Aware You Have a Choice

The most common reactions to politics at work are either fight or flight. It’s normal human reaction for survival in the wild, back in the prehistoric days when we were still hunter-gatherers.

Sure, the office is a modern jungle, but it takes more than just instinctive reactions to win in office politics. Instinctive fight reactions will only cause more resistance to whatever you are trying to achieve; while instinctive flight reactions only label you as a pushover that people can easily take for granted. Neither options are appealing for healthy career growth.

Winning requires you to consciously choose your reactions to the situation. Recognize that no matter how bad the circumstances, you have a choice in choosing how you feel and react. So how do you choose? This bring us to the next point…

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2. Know What You Are Trying to Achieve

When conflicts happen, it’s very easy to be sucked into tunnel-vision and focus on immediate differences. That’s a self-defeating approach. Chances are, you’ll only invite more resistance by focusing on differences in people’s positions or opinions.

The way to mitigate this without looking like you’re fighting to emerge as a winner in this conflict is to focus on the business objectives. In the light of what’s best for the business, discuss the pros and cons of each option. Eventually, everyone wants the business to be successful; if the business don’t win, then nobody in the organization wins.

It’s much easier for one to eat the humble pie and back off when they realize the chosen approach is best for the business.

By learning to steer the discussion in this direction, you will learn to disengage from petty differences and position yourself as someone who is interested in getting things done. Your boss will also come to appreciate you as someone who is mature, strategic and can be entrusted with bigger responsibilities.

3. Focus on Your Circle of Influence

At work, there are often issues which we have very little control over. It’s not uncommon to find corporate policies, client demands or boss mandates which affects your personal interests.

Gossiping and complaining are common responses to these events that we cannot control. But think about it, other than that short term emotional outlet, what tangible results do gossiping really accomplish? In most instances, none.

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Instead of feeling victimized and angry about the situation, focus on the things that you can do to influence the situation — your circle of influence. This is a very empowering technique to overcome the feeling of helplessness. It removes the victimized feeling and also allows others to see you as someone who knows how to operate within given constraints.

You may not be able to change or decide on the eventual outcome but, you can walk away knowing that you have done the best within the given circumstances.

Constraints are all around in the workplace; with this approach, your boss will also come to appreciate you as someone who is understanding and positive.

4. Don’t Take Sides

In office politics, it is possible to find yourself stuck in between two power figures who are at odds with each other. You find yourself being thrown around while they try to outwit each other and defend their own position; all at the expense of you getting the job done. You can’t get them to agree on a common decision for a project, and neither of them want to take ownership of issues; they’re too afraid they’ll get stabbed in the back for any mishaps.

In cases like this, focus on the business objectives and don’t take side with either of them – even if you like one better than the other. Place them on a common communication platform and ensure open communications among all parties, so that no one can claim “I didn’t say that”.

By not taking sides, you’ll help to direct conflict resolution in an objective manner. You’ll also build trust with both parties. That’ll help to keep the engagements constructive and focus on business objectives.

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5. Don’t Get Personal

In office politics, you’ll get angry with people. It happens. There will be times when you feel the urge to give that person a piece of your mind and teach him a lesson. Don’t.

People tend to remember moments when they were humiliated or insulted. Even if you win this argument and get to feel really good about it for now, you’ll pay the price later when you need help from this person. What goes around comes around, especially at the workplace.

To win in the office, you’ll want to build a network of allies which you can tap into. The last thing you want during a crisis or an opportunity is to have someone screw you up because they harbor ill-intentions towards you – all because you’d enjoyed a brief moment of emotional outburst at their expense.

Another reason to hold back your temper is your career advancement. Increasingly, organizations are using 360 degree reviews to promote someone. Even if you are a star performer, your boss will have to fight a political uphill battle if other managers or peers see you as someone who is difficult to work with. The last thing you’ll want is to make it difficult for your boss to champion you for a promotion.

6. Seek to Understand, Before Being Understood

The reason people feel unjustified is because they felt misunderstood. Instinctively, we are more interested in getting the others to understand us than to understand them first. Top people managers and business leaders have learned to suppress this urge.

Surprisingly, seeking to understand is a very disarming technique. Once the other party feels that you understand where he/she is coming from, they will feel less defensive and be open to understand you in return. This sets the stage for open communications to arrive at a solution that both parties can accept.

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Trying to arrive at a solution without first having this understanding is very difficult – there’s little trust and too much second-guessing.

7. Think Win-Win

As mentioned upfront, political conflicts happen because of conflicting interests. Perhaps due to our schooling, we are taught that to win, someone else needs to lose. Conversely, we are afraid to let someone else win, because it implies losing for us.

In business and work, that doesn’t have to be the case.

Learn to think in terms of “how can we both win out of this situation?” This requires that you first understand the other party’s perspective and what’s in it for him.

Next, understand what’s in it for you. Strive to seek out a resolution that is acceptable and beneficial to both parties. Doing this will ensure that everyone truly commit to the agreed resolution and will not pay only lip-service to it.

People simply don’t like to lose. You may get away with win-lose tactics once or twice but very soon, you’ll find yourself without allies in the workplace.

Thinking win-win is an enduring strategy that builds allies and help you win in the long term.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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