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Learn to Say No To These 5 Things To Be A Lot Closer To Success

Learn to Say No To These 5 Things To Be A Lot Closer To Success

Are you over-extending yourself to get ahead, and find that it’s actually holding you back?

Many people all over the world are making this very mistake. Right now. They’re saying “yes” to responsibilities they simply cannot take on. Why? Because they’ve mistakenly been told that this is how people succeed. By saying “yes” to absolutely everything asked of them at work, in hopes they’ll get recognition in the form of a promotion or raise.

But this won’t work, and it’ll never work. It can’t work, because the person unwilling to say “no” never has enough time to put excellence into all they do. They do it to a standard of “enough” and move on to the next task, hoping that they’ll manage to get all done in time. They won’t stand out against the work of the person willing to say “no,” because these people have the time to excel at what they’ve said yes to.

You’re probably thinking something along the lines of, “but I can’t say ‘no’ to everything, then I’ll never get noticed. I’ll probably get called lazy, and be in an even worse position!” and you’re right. You can’t say “no” to everything. You will get called lazy. You will not get much in the way of beneficial recognition. So what can you say no to?

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That’s why you’re reading this, you’re going to learn 5 things to say no to — to help you get closer to the success you’ve been dreaming of.

1. Say No to Taking on Other People’s Responsibility

You’re not there to do someone else’s workload. You’ve got your own. Even if you had the time to take on their work, and then made it an incredible piece — they’ll end up taking the responsibility for it. You’ll never get credited for it, so there’s simply no reason to do so.

On the flip side, if you were to do a poor job of it (because you’ve overextended yourself) — guess who would get blamed for it? You. The minute the boss calls on the other party to explain the mess, you’ll get thrown under the bus. Because it was you who done the work. You agreed to do it. That’s how it goes.

Of course, there are exceptions. If you have the time and it’s an emergency, help your friend out. Connections are a vital part of success, and burning every bridge on the way up is not beneficial to your career or your life. This should be a last resort though. It’s likely that they could just explain to the upper management in most cases.

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2. Say No to Burning Out

You’re of no use to anyone when you’ve worked so hard that you’re burnt. Your productivity falls through the floor, your work quality is nowhere near your usual excellence, you’re cranky, your relationships with co-workers and your family suffers — it’s just detriment after detriment. There’s no benefit to working that much. Not for anyone.

So how do you usually end up getting burnt out? By saying yes to extra work that you simply do not have time for. Your break time shouldn’t be seen as expendable time, that you can sacrifice whenever you think you can take on that extra project. Breaks are a necessity. They keep you focused, energised and ready for work.

Figure out how much you can say yes to on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Figure out how much time you’ll set aside for breaks. Say no without hesitation to any work that may interfere with you getting that allotted break time. Break time is arguably more crucial than the time you’re doing work because it’s what allows you to keep working.

3. Say No to Sacrificing Family Time (at Least Most of the Time)

Those who are successful have a found a way to balance home life and work life. They don’t sacrifice one for the other. This is vital to do because success is only possible if what you’re doing is sustainable. Sacrificing family time is not sustainable if you want to maintain a family, obviously.

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Every successful person has a support net of friends and family underneath them. It’s how they push through the hardest of times. It’s how they relax. It’s how they have a purpose beyond their work life. It also serves as a great reminder as to why you’re trying to succeed in the first place, to provide for those who supported you through it.

Never give up that net. Never burn those bridges because of work. Never burn those bridges because of ‘success.’ You’re already far more successful than you realise if you have these kinds of people around you, appreciate every moment you can get with them.

4. Say No to Unclear Expectations

There is nothing worse than committing to something without clarifying exactly when it is your duties will be fulfilled. It’s unnecessary headache, stress and honestly — it’s just downright unprofessional. Not knowing where you stand going into a project isn’t setting the right tone for your success.

When faced with taking on work that isn’t clarified, actively seek out to clarify exactly what it is, when it needs to be done by, and what it is you’re expected to do. If you can’t get honest and direct answers to these, then say no. If you feel it’s out of your skill-set, and you have no time to learn the needed skills, once clarified — say no.

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Success is not just about ensuring the work is done to a great standard, or to the right deadline. It’s also about how you present yourself. If you present yourself as the person that will actively take on projects without clarity on what it is that needs to be done, you won’t be taken seriously. You’ll just become another workhorse.

5. Say No to Becoming Someone You’re Not

If your work success is pushing you to be someone you’re not comfortable becoming — it’s not for you. Success is not worth sacrificing yourself for. There are many paths to success, but there is only one of you. You are unique. You deserve to live to your highest potential, not the highest potential of someone else’s expectations.

Sacrificing who you are to reach success is not a successful act. You’re sacrificing the unique value you bring to a situation, that’ll truly make you unique, in order to fit someone else’s expectations of what you should do for them. In fact, this is the very thing that holds many people back from success.

Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. Do not be afraid to be the person you want to be. Only you can truly define your success for you, and no one is going to turn around and say they’re happy and successful if they had to sacrifice themselves to get there.

So there you have it, 5 things to say no to if you want to be successful. What about you, do you have anything to add to this list?

Drop them in the comments below, and don’t forget to share this article to all who’d benefit from it!

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Last Updated on April 17, 2019

10 Essential Soft Skills That Will Help Advance Your Career

10 Essential Soft Skills That Will Help Advance Your Career

What’s the secret of professional success? Some of it lies in the mastery of your discipline and all the technical skills you have to carry out your job; but a much bigger part lies in the soft skills list you possess.

Soft skills are your people or relationship skills—how well you get along with others and your ability to communicate and collaborate—as well as the personal characteristics you bring to the job, such as optimism, a can-do attitude and the motivation to work hard. These skills are not always easy to point out, but their absence can cause serious problems and negatively affect the whole work atmosphere.

They say that hard skills will help you get the job, but soft skills will help you get along—and get ahead. With that in mind, here’s the top-10 essential soft skills list to help you advance your career.

1. Communication Skills

Communication skills are hands-down the most sought-after soft skill that bosses want, and this one ability covers a lot of ground.

To communicate well, you have to listen carefully, interpret the context of the conversation, express yourself clearly, persuade others of your point of view, check your body language and use an engaging presentation style that won’t intimidate or bore your audience. That’s a big ask!

Your personality traits can influence the way you communicate with others. For instance, some people get straight to the point and center their arguments around facts and logic; others are cooperative and sensitive to how others feel. Both these approaches are equally valuable but there can be misunderstandings if you don’t understand where the other person is coming from.

Taking a comprehensive personality test can help you understand why you communicate the way you do and where your blind spots are. It can also help you understand other communication styles is so you can tailor your communication to the person you’re dealing with.

After all, connecting with your conversation partner is the hallmark of good communication.

2. Flexibility

Change is an essential part of any business. Companies need employees who are flexible enough to work with new initiatives, open to new ideas, and generally are able to tough it out when things don’t go as planned.

Research has found a link between job performance and flexibility over the long term because there will be times when you have to step outside your routine and rise to fresh challenges that didn’t exist before.

Being flexible doesn’t mean you have to hop into a new task or job role like an expert. Rather, it’s about showing you’re willing to accept new responsibility and learn different things.

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Bosses look for people who are prepared to step outside their comfort zones and are open to alternative solutions when their first idea doesn’t work.

3. Being a Team Player

Working on a team can be challenging but learning to do it well can definitely help you get ahead in your career. Employers look for people who can negotiate, cooperate and manage conflicts with other people to achieve a common goal. That includes the ability to build lasting relationships with customers and clients.

What makes a good team player? Essentially, it’s someone who knows the goal and knows her role. Employers look for evidence that you know your strengths, your responsibilities and how you can best contribute to the team, then put those skills into action by sharing ideas and communicating in a respectful manner. That’s the definition of being a good team player.

This is another area where taking a personality test can help you get ahead. When teams work together, each member brings a unique set of skills and qualities to the group. Research has shown that different combinations of personalities affect how teams collaborate and how productive they are.

Knowing who you are, and how you work on a team, can drive new insights and open the door to better teamwork.

4. Positive Mental Attitude

There are plenty of things you can’t change at work, like the people you work with or the fact that the printer is broken again. The one thing you can change is how much you let these things bother you.

Bosses like people who are calm, rational and upbeat—those who diffuse tensions in the workplace, not get all grouchy and go around slamming doors.

Studies show that people who maintain a sunny disposition have better relationships at work, are happier in their jobs and make better decisions than those who whine and complain. Some suggest that a positive mental attitude can also make you live longer—which means it’s beneficial for every area of your life![1]

It’s not always easy to keep a “glass half full” mentality when work is stressful and the deadlines are piling up. But there are some things you can do to help maintain a positive attitude. Laughing at your unfortunate circumstances keeps the work environment positive, and taking “sanity” breaks can help you keep your cool in high-pressure situations.

Managers look for positive mental attitude in a team member that is ready for a promotion, so it really does pay to keep your cool in challenging situations.

5. A Strong Work Ethic

People with a strong work ethic are committed to the role, persevere when things get tough and are inspired by challenge. These people are ambassadors for the organization, and will always be seen as top talent and ideal candidates.

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If you can exhibit this skill, then expect to be seen as a great candidate, eligible for new opportunities and positions throughout your career.

Since a strong work ethic can mean different things to different people, it helps to show specific examples of your exceptional work ethic during a performance appraisal or interview. For instance, you might talk about:

  • A time when you persisted in the face of challenges and did not shy away from hard work.
  • How you volunteered to help with projects even though these tasks did not form part of your job description.
  • The networking, workplace learning and skills betterment you’ve undertaken, which shows ambition and drive (people with a strong work ethic have those qualities in spades).
  • How you own your mistakes and never, ever point the finger of blame at others.

For help with building a strong work ethic, check out these tips: How to Build a Reliable Work Ethic

6. Public Speaking

Who’s terrified of public speaking? Pretty much everyone, since public speaking is America’s number one fear, ahead of death at number five and loneliness at number seven.

Yet, according to Warren Buffett, mastering this one skill you could increase your personal value by 50 percent.[2] That’s huge!

If you’re not natural at public speaking, you’re in good company. Buffett had to work hard to overcome his stage fright and once dropped out of a public-speaking course before it started—because he was afraid of public speaking! He eventually realized that he needed to build up his confidence by just doing it; over and over in front of small groups.

For a more structured approach, Toastmasters International teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a variety of pathways. Membership of this non-profit looks good on your resume but the real payoff will come when you can put your newfound skills to use on the job or in the interview room.

Or, you can check out this advice: The Ultimate Public Speaking Tips to Hook and Impress Any Audience

7. Integrity

From a manager’s point of view, the two integrity skills that will set you apart are:

  • Always doing what you say you will do
  • Owning an error instead of minimizing or hiding it

…even when no one is around to check up on you.

There are lots of people who have climbed the ladder without scruples, but they are not the people who others trust, respect and support when promotion time comes around.

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Behaving with integrity is a safe and consistent way to enhance your reputation and achieve your professional goals.

8. Managing Your Time

Phone calls, texts, Slack pings, meetings, huddles, side projects, multitasking—we are busier today than any generation before us. There’s no denying the workplace is an incredibly distracting place to be.

A lot of us have traded effectiveness for busyness which we wear as a badge of honor, both as a proxy for productivity and to show our value to the company. But what bosses want, what they really, really want, is someone who actually gets stuff done on time.

Time management is not merely the art of being on time, but of managing your time so you focus on the projects that really matter and add value to the business. This means prioritizing well, sticking to schedules, delegating, and not getting distracted by tasks that are easier to perform or less important. It means planning ahead and learning when it’s appropriate to say no.

Time management can be a tough skill to maintain, but not a difficult one to pick up. Monitor your actions for a few days—how long do your tasks take to finish? What’s interrupting you? What causes you to lose focus? Once you have the answers to these questions, you can set a schedule for yourself to make sure you’re spending your time wisely and this valuable asset is never wasted.

These 20 Quick Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity are also great to try.

9. Assertiveness

In any workplace, you typically will find people with the following conflict styles:

  • Passive: Those who go out of their way to avoid conflict.
  • Passive-aggressive: Those who express their negative feelings through actions rather than words.
  • Aggressive: Those who respond to conflict in a hostile and rude manner. These people get their opinion heard but they won’t make any friends in the process.
  • Assertive: People who stick up for their rights while still respecting the rights of others.

Managers look for assertiveness above all other styles because it allows decisions to be made without conflict or alienating people.

How do you use this information for yourself?

It starts with understanding your personality so you can anticipate how you will react when conflict arises and address your own shortcomings. Then, you can start influencing the team for top results, and securing your own career advancement in the process.

Learn how to be assertive and gain respect:

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How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

10. Creative Thinking

LinkedIn recently analyzed over 50,000 skills that employers search for when looking for candidates to find out what skills are currently in demand.[3] Taking the number-one slot on the 2019 soft skills list was creativity: the ability to solve problems and think outside the box.

Creativity is about bringing fresh, and sometimes unorthodox, ideas to the table. This helps companies to innovate, and companies that do not innovate will not survive very long.

How do you showcase your creative thinking skills? The golden rule is to participate.

Be brave and share your ideas during group brainstorming sessions. Volunteer to run a society, networking event or recruitment drive. Ask “what if” questions: “What if we add this information to the client welcome pack?” “What if we eliminate step 3 from the process?”

These activities demonstrate that you’re prepared to go beyond “business as usual” towards creative problem solving—an ability that will serve you every day, all throughout your career.

You can learn to unleash your creativity power:

What Is Creativity? We All Have It, and Need It

Final Thoughts

The good news? Every item on this soft skills list can be learned. Although you may feel lacking in certain areas, taking an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses will allow you to focus in on the areas that you’ll benefit from developing.

So take an inventory of your personality, skills, and talents. This will give you a baseline for your communication style, attitude to change, conscientiousness and more. You can then identify your weak areas and develop strategies for improving your team-building, assertiveness and conflict skills.

The better news? The effort is worth it. Developing your soft skills opens the door to a new job or a promotion, and helps you succeed once you get there.

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Featured photo credit: Rachael Gorjestani via unsplash.com

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