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3 Things Your Boss Never Says to You, but Should

3 Things Your Boss Never Says to You, but Should

If you have a job, you probably have a boss. This poor person is who we most often vent to or blame for dissatisfaction with a job that sucks regardless of the reason. They hear it all and regularly take the fall for issues that arise with their employees. But have you ever stopped to think about the role YOU play in your office drama? Is it possible that your behaviors, attitude, appearance or skillset may be causing your own problems—and creating massive stress for your boss?

In surveys of supervisors across industries, there is a broad spectrum of communication skills and comfort level with providing truly honest feedback, especially about aspects that aren’t directly job related even if those things are impacting the success, productivity or happiness of their co-workers, themselves and the company. By better understanding some of the top issues bosses must deal with that may not be the most comfortable topics to approach, we can be better employees and be more successful at work and at home.

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3 Things You Need to Hear

Here are three things that bosses should be saying to you to help you be more successful and help the team and company.

1. “Pull yourself together!”

If you drag yourself out of bed and into the office after barely putting effort into your wardrobe, hair or appearance, it can not only impact your own success, but also create issues for your team. Why? Research proves that we relate more positively to people who look (and smell) nice. This doesn’t mean you need to be a supermodel, but spending more than five minutes getting ready for going into public will make a difference in your career growth, personal relationships and how others treat you.

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2. “Don’t be a jerk!”

We run into jerks all the time—the cranky person behind the counter at the coffee shop, the snarky customer service person on the phone and even some of our closest friends and family can turn into annoyances who rub us the wrong way sometimes. But often YOU are sending out vibes and being a jerk yourself that is causing others to mirror you and behave the same way. Think back on your last several conversations, emails and social media interactions. Were they negative, whiny, judgmental or egotistical? If so, chances are you need an attitude adjustment.

3. “Stop being lazy!”

No one wants to admit that they are lazy or causing problems for others, but in today’s world of work there is a major issue with disengaged workers, distractions and lack of responsibility. Employees are doing the bare minimum to get the job done, exerting minimal energy and innovative thinking into their roles and putting out a “not my job” attitude when others ask for help. If you are regularly thinking about how to do as little as possible, often spending time on social media while at the office or always leaving the office for personal needs, you are likely putting out a vibe of laziness and disengagement to your boss and co-workers.

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What can you do?

1. Put in effort.

Take a shower and have good personal hygiene. Style your hair. Wear clean, stylish clothes. Ditch old, stinky shoes. Ladies—add a little make-up and jewelry. Guys—invest in a good haircut and personal grooming appointment. It doesn’t take much to elevate your appearance, which will directly impact your work and life happiness and potential income—and make the work environment more pleasant for everyone.

2. Shift your attitude.

Firstly, what is driving you to be a jerk? Are you stressed, unhappy about something in your life, struggling with a health issue, having money or relationship problems? Negative behaviors are usually driven by something going on behind the scenes so be really honest about what’s causing your issues and start to work on the root of your problem. Next, you have to spend more time doing things that make you happy which will naturally shift your attitude. If you think your life or job sucks then change the dynamics. We have the power to choose our path. Finally, make an effort to be nice. Smile more. Ask people how they’re doing. Think about someone besides yourself. It’s a hard shift but one that will pay off in career and personal success.

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3. Improve your job.

Re-define your job tasks so they are more fun, interesting and focused on your personal strengths and goals. Every job comes with boring or tedious tasks that have to get done, but you can work with your boss to create the rest of it to fit your needs. Think bigger about what you’re doing and how it impacts the world in big and small ways. Pretend you are someone else who has to work with you. Would you want to work with someone like you? If not, it’s time to step up your commitment to your work and create a new plan for job success.

Share your thoughts: Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with your boss or employee about sensitive topics? How did you handle it? 

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Are you waking up each day looking for that perfect thing, activity, or job that will make your life work? Or, maybe you are looking for that perfect relationship. Once you “get” this new thing that will allow you to do what you love, you are sure that you will be happy forever.

In reality, life doesn’t work like that, and we would probably get bored if it did. There is likely no one thing, experience, or activity that will keep you feeling passionate and engaged all the time. What’s important is staying connected to what you love and continuing to grow in the process.

Here, we’ll talk about how to get started doing what you love and achieving more in life through the motivation it brings. Doing this doesn’t have to take a long time; it just takes determination and energy.

Most People Already Know Their Passion

So many people walk around in life “looking for” their passion. They look for it as if true passion is some mysterious thing that is difficult to find and runs away once you find it. However, the problem is rarely lack of passion.

Most of us already know what we love to do. We know what excites us, even if we haven’t done it for years. Instead, we focus on what we think we “must” do.

For example, maybe you love building model cars or painting pet portraits. Yet, each day you work a completely unrelated job and make no time for the activity you already know you love. The truth is you probably don’t need to find your passion; you just need to start doing what you already know you’re passionate about[1].

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No Activity Is Exciting All the Time

Even people who are living their dream lifestyle or working their dream job don’t love it all the time. Every job or lifestyle has parts of it that we won’t like.

Let’s say your dream is to become an actress, and you succeed. You may not enjoy the process of auditioning and facing rejection. You may experience moments of boredom when you practice your lines over and over again. But the overall experience is totally worth it.

Most of life is like that. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by demanding that life be perfect all the time. If things were perfect and easy, you would ultimately stop learning and growing, and life would begin to lack even more meaning in that case.

Be grateful for both the good and bad moments as they are both entirely necessary if you genuinely want to do what you love and love what you do.

Doing What You Love May Not Be Easy

Living a life you love is unlikely to be easy. If it was, you would not grow very much as a person. And, if you think about a great book or movie, the growth of the main character is what matters most.

What if the challenges you meet along your path to living a life you love were designed to make you grow as a person? You may actually start looking forward to challenges instead of dreading them. An easy life hardly ever makes a compelling story.

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If you struggle to overcome challenges, try writing them down each time you encounter one. Then, write down three ways you could tackle it. Try one, and if it doesn’t work, try another. This way, you’ll learn what does and doesn’t work for you.

How to Do What You Love

There are many small steps you can take to ensure you are making time to do the things you love. Start with these, and you’ll likely find that you’re already on the right track.

1. Choose Your Priorities Wisely

Many people claim they want to do something, yet they don’t do it. The truth is they might not really want to do it in the first place[2].

We all end up following through on what matters most to us. We make decisions moment by moment about what we need to focus on. What we choose to do is what we deem most important in our lives.

If there is something you claim you want to do but you don’t do it, try asking yourself how much you really want it or where it’s currently placed on priority list. Are there other things you want more?

Be honest with yourself: what you currently do each day is a reflection of your priorities. Recognize that you can change your priorities at any time.

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Make a list of your priorities. Really take the time to think this through. Then, ask yourself if what you are doing each day reflects them. For example, if you believe your top priority is spending more time with your family, but you consistently take on extra hours at work, you’re not really prioritizing things in the way you think you are.

If this is happening, it’s time to make a change.

2. Do One Small Thing Each Day

As stated above, doing what you love doesn’t have to mean finding that perfect job that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. If you want to do what you love, start with one small thing each day.

Maybe you love reading a good book. Take ten minutes before bed to read.

Maybe you love swimming. Get a membership at the local YMCA, and go there for thirty minutes after work each day.

Dedicating even a short amount of time to something that brings you joy each day will improve your life overall. You may find that, over time, a career path related to what you love to do pops up. After doing the thing you love each day, you’ll be more than prepared to take it on when the opportunity arises.

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If you need help making time for your passions, check out this article to get started.

3. Prepare to Make Sacrifices

If you are an exceptionally busy person (aren’t we all?), you may have to make sacrifices in order to make space for the things you are passionate about. Maybe you take on less extra hours at the office or take thirty minutes away from another hobby in order to develop another that you enjoy.

Looking at your priority list will help you decide what can get put on the back burner and what can’t. Remember, do this thinking about what will help you feel good about how you’re spending your time. 

For example, if you love writing but rarely make time for it, consider getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal. Or instead of browsing your phone for 30 minutes before bed, you can write instead. There is always a way to find time for what you love.

Final Thoughts

If you love what you do, each day becomes a joyful adventure. If you don’t love what you are doing, life feels like a chore. The best way to achieve success is to design a life you love and live it every day.

Remember, doing something you love doesn’t have to include big gestures or time-consuming projects. Start small and grow from there.

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Featured photo credit: William Recinos via unsplash.com

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