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These Are The Times When You Should Not Say Anything

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These Are The Times When You Should Not Say Anything

Silence at the appropriate moment can speak louder than words. Keeping quiet displays the wisdom, emotional maturity and confidence that will lead you to success. Here are 11 instances when you should not say anything:

1. When the other side misunderstands and you don’t have a duty to talk

Why waste words when the other side is not making the effort to understand what you have to say? Silence can never be misquoted. Let them learn through experience and you will save your peace of mind.

2. When two parties are arguing

Don’t get involved. If you intervene you may come under fire. Maintaining stoic silence on your part is best.

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3. When you have no idea what you’re talking about

Empty vessels make more noise. It is best not to say anything if you have nothing meaningful to say. Your words will carry more value when you speak only to make a sensible point.

4. When you need someone else to get the credit

You reflect quiet confidence in your abilities when you smile and let your boss or team take the credit for your work. The goodwill thus created will ensure your success in the long run.

5. When you are bragging instead of sharing

It’s best to be humble and let others appreciate you than to toot your own horn. Quietly focus on your work and let your hard work speak for you. Walgreens CEO Greg Wasson maintains “Confident humility and humble confidence,” on a regular basis.

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6. When your comment is more about you than others

Listening more is a great art of conversation. Check yourself when you are not including others or letting them express themselves as they will get bored of your narcissism and you will soon find yourself isolated.

7. When you want someone else to grow

Some people will criticize you just to provoke you into an argument. Don’t allow them the pleasure.Take the high road and show restraint. They are coming from a point of weakness themselves and would love to see you react negatively. Being silent makes you more powerful.

8. When the other party in negotiation starts debating against itself

Silence is the best reply in a negotiation. Many people feel uncomfortable in conversation gaps and may start revealing more than they should. You can then pick a weak point that will work in your favor.

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9. When you want to avoid angry outbursts

Don’t be like the matchstick that flares up on slightest friction. It causes destruction and then fizzles out for good. Move away to a quieter place. Drink some cold water if possible. Take deep breaths and calm your mind. Anger clouds your understanding. If you were wrong, there is room for rational brainstorming. If it’s righteous anger, silence is the best way to let the other person know they did wrong. Emotional self-control saves you from damaging your relationships.

10. When you want to listen to your inner voice

When I want to make major decisions, I find a quiet spot where I can be alone. Away from external distractions, I try to silence the inner clutter of my mind. Breathing deeply always works. Sitting in silence with a calm mind gives me a clearer perspective on things.

When you listen to your inner voice, you can problem-solve most effectively. According to international best-selling author and wellness expert Dr Deepak Chopra, listening to yourself in stillness increases creativity and lowers stress.

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11. When you receive negative feedback from your superiors

Accept it quietly, assess it, learn from it, improve and grow.

Iris Johansen rightfully said that “Silence and Smile are two powerful tools of successful people. Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems.”

Featured photo credit: These are the times when you should not say anything/ Stoney Steiner via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 21, 2021

How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

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How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

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More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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