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Why Everyone Should Learn About the Power of Saying No from the Singer-actor-investor Jared Leto

Why Everyone Should Learn About the Power of Saying No from the Singer-actor-investor Jared Leto

No. No. NO. Does hearing that word make you flinch? You needn’t, and here’s why.

In a society where saying yes is encouraged, and often even deemed essential to get ahead in life, it can seem counter-intuitive to accept that no—a term generally associated with negativity and refusal—has a very definite power and can even be harnessed as a positive force for change and advancement. Yet, the number of people embracing the power of no is on the rise, and with good reason: indeed, in the words of singer-actor-investor Jared Leto, while yes holds “opportunity, with the power of no comes focus and engagement“; and in today’s world of endless distractions and fierce competition (a dangerous combination, to be sure), being able to focus and engage with the task at hand becomes not only useful, but vital in order to stay ahead.

The Power of No

Let’s look at Jared Leto’s example to go a little deeper with this concept: as a talented musician, bona fide Hollywood actor and investor in tech start-ups (he’s recently lent a hand to Airbnb and Spotify, to name but a few), it’s fair to say that Leto lives a very full life, with many demands on his precious time. In fact, at his level of business, it’s simply impossible to do it all without sacrificing quality, and that is something he isn’t prepared to do: “I never wanted to make the most movies, to make the most albums,” he explains in Fast Company. Instead of aiming for a high output, then, he prefers to concentrate his efforts on the things he has a “deep interest and desire and passion” for; things that “add to the quality of people’s lives”.

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Simply put, Leto’s strategy consists in selecting his projects according to his core values—desire and passion and deep interest—and declining all the others. The end result? A plate less full with more time and energy to devote to each task, ensuring a better end product and less stress in the process. In other words, the power of no helps our favourite superstar stay focused on what matters the most to him—this allows him to concentrate his efforts on producing high quality work that he has a deep connection to, all the while taking the frustration of doing uninteresting busywork (that doesn’t necessarily benefit him in any way) out of the equation. Genius.

Here is why you should emulate Jared Leto in your personal and professional life.

1. Jared Leto is a well-loved and well-respected multi-millionaire.

Chances are he’s doing something right, and I have a feeling that his love of the power of no has something to do with it! All kidding aside…

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2. Saying no gives you more time to spend on what is important.

Consider this: the number of hours in a day is finite. There’s no way around it. Wouldn’t you rather spend what precious little time you have on something you really want to do? Whether you believe your time is better spent on getting your sweat on in the gym, working on your big project or spending quality time with your kids, being a better custodian of that time by saying no to those who would partake of it is a surefire way to do what really matters to you. Your time is important. Treat it as such.

Over to you: which activity close to your heart would you have more time for if you said no

3. Saying no protects your values.

I love this example in Psychology Today’s article on “the Power of No“: a man named Jack always prided himself on being there for his friends; on “having their back”, no matter what. One day, one of Jack’s buddies asked to use his holiday home as a rendezvous place for his clandestine love affair. Now, Jack loved his pal, but he valued his integrity more and he didn’t want to have a part in this most morally jarring situation. Using the power of no to stand up for what he believed in, he turned his friend down. Sure, he may have “violated an unspoken male code” in doing so, but Jack was more into liking himself than having others like him for saying yes to something that he was uncomfortable with.

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Over to you: could saying no help you out of a situation that doesn’t gel with your values?

4. Saying no helps you achieve your goals.

Carrying on from our item in this list, harnessing the power of no can be a highly efficient way of getting to where you want—faster. Much like our dear Mr. Leto, anyone can benefit from selecting a handful of projects that vibrate with their core values and politely decline taking on any work that doesn’t fit that mould. Don’t be afraid to lose friends over this: true friends will value your time, and potential business partners will respect your desire to focus all your attention on your most important work.

Over to you: which of your current projects don’t resonate with your values? Can you cull them now?

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5. Saying no prevents others from taking advantage of you.

We’ve all been there: we’ve said yes to lending our favorite items of clothing to an untrustworthy friend (yes, totally burned), we’ve accepted to lend the loveable class slacker our painstakingly taken notes, we’ve felt the rising resentment in us as we agreed again and again to do something we weren’t totally comfortable with to ingratiate ourselves with others. It happens. It’s time to change, though: in accepting to let others take advantage of our kindness, we’re accepting to give away our personal power, and for what? Saying no in these situations is a way to take back what is ours, regaining our respect for ourselves and quelling that resentment at its source.

Over to you: what uncomfortable situation in which you’re being taken advantage of could you put an end to by saying no?

Saying no is a difficult task, especially when we’ve been in the habit of saying yes all our lives. After all, we have been conditioned to accept the open-hearted, risk-taking and courageous yes as the only answer to the questions in this world; how could it possibly be easy to embrace this other alternative? By indulging in a little self-reflection, of course! Consider this: how different would your life be if you wandered off the beaten path and said no, once in a while? What if you decided to put yourself first, instead of accepting to play second fiddle to someone else’s dreams? What if you had all the time in the world to concentrate on what mattered the most to you? What if…?

Take a risk this week: say no. See how it changes you. Try again. How freeing does it feel?

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

How to Stop Multitasking and Become Way More Productive

How to Stop Multitasking and Become Way More Productive

Today we are expected to work in highly disruptive environments. We sit down at our desks, turn on our computer and immediately we are hit with hundreds of emails all vying for our attention.

Our phones are beeping and pinging with new alerts to messages, likes and comments and our colleagues are complaining about the latest company initiative is designed to get us to do more work and spend less time at home.

All these distractions result in us multitasking where our attention is switching between one crisis and the next.

Multitasking is a problem. But how to stop multitasking?

How bad really is multitasking?

It dilutes your focus and attention so even the easiest of tasks become much harder and take longer to complete.

Studies have shown that while you think you are multitasking, you are in fact task switching, which means your attention is switching between two or more pieces of work and that depletes the energy resources you have to do your work.

This is why, even though you may have done little to no physical activity, you arrive home at the end of the day feeling exhausted and not in the mood to do anything.

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We know it is not a good way to get quality work done, but the demands for out attention persist and rather than reduce, are likely to increase as the years go by.

So what to do about it?

Ways to stop multitasking and increase productivity

Now, forget about how to multitask!

Here are a few strategies on how to stop multitasking so you can get better quality and more work done in the time you have each working day:

1. Get enough rest

When you are tired, your brain has less strength to resist even the tiniest attention seeker. This is why when you find your mind wandering, it is a sign your brain is tired and time to take a break.

This does not just mean taking breaks throughout the day, it also means making sure you get enough sleep every day.

When you are well rested and take short regular breaks throughout the day your brain is fully refuelled and ready to focus in on the work that is important.

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2. Plan your day

When you don’t have a plan for the day, the day will create a plan for you. When you allow outside influences to take control of your day, it is very hard not to be dragged off in all directions.

When you have a plan for the day, when you arrive at work your brain knows exactly what it is you want to accomplish and will subconsciously have prepared itself for a sustained period of focused work.

Your resistance to distractions and other work will be high and you will focus much better on the work that needs doing.

3. Remove everything from your desk and screen except for the work you are doing

I learned this one a long time ago. In my previous work, I worked in a law office and I had case files to deal with. If I had more than one case file on my desk at any one time, I would find my eyes wandering over the other case files on my desk when I had something difficult to do.

I was looking for something easier. This meant often I was working on three or four cases at one time and that always led to mistakes and slower completion.

Now when I am working on something, I am in full-screen mode where all I can see is the work I am working on right now.

4. When at your desk, do work

We are creatures of habit. If we do our online shopping and news reading at our desks as well as our work, we will always have the temptation to be doing stuff that we should not be doing at that moment.

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Do your online shopping from another place—your home or from your phone when you are having a break—and only do your work when at your desk. This conditions your brain to focus in on your work and not other distractions.

5. Learn to say no

Whenever you hear the phrase “learn to say no,” it does not mean going about being rude to everyone. What it does mean is delay saying yes.

Most problems occur when we say “yes” immediately. We then have to spend an inordinate amount of energy thinking of ways to get ourselves out of the commitment we made.

By saying “let me think about it” or “can I let you know later” gives you time to evaluate the offer and allows you to get back to what you were doing quicker.

6. Turn off notifications on your computer

For most of us, we still use computers to do our work. When you have email alert pop-ups and other notifications turned on, they will distract you no matter how strong you feel.

Turn them off and schedule email reviewing for times between doing your focused work. Doing this will give you a lot of time back because you will be able to remain focused on the work in front of you.

7. Find a quiet place to do your most important work

Most workplaces have meeting rooms that are vacant. If you do have important work to get done, ask if you can use one of those rooms and do your work there.

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You can close the door, put on your headphones and just focus on what is important. This is a great way to remove all the other, non-important, tasks demanding your attention and just focus on one piece of work.

The bottom line

Focusing on one piece of work at a time can be hard but the benefits to the amount of work you get done are worth it. You will make fewer mistakes, you will get more done and will feel a lot less tired at the end of the day.

Make a list of the four or five things you want to get done the next day before you finish your work for the day and when you start the day, begin at the top of the list with the first item.

Don’t start anything else until you have finished the first one and then move on to the second one. This one trick will help you to become way more productive.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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