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How to Give an Inspiring and Memorable Speech

How to Give an Inspiring and Memorable Speech

If you are afraid to give a speech, you’re not alone. Public speaking is one of the top 3 fears that people have in life, right up there with the fear of death and going to the dentist. My dad was a dentist, and I teach pubic speaking, so we always said that we like inflicting pain on people. But all joking aside, here are some ways you can deliver an inspiring and memorable speech even if you are nervous about it.

1. Get the audience’s attention.

Let’s face it: people have short attention spans. And if you don’t hook them right away, they will most likely tune out. You can ask them a question, tell a story, tell a joke, play a video, or arouse their curiosity. Whatever you do, don’t start out saying, “What I’m going to talk about is …” or “Hi my name is … ” B-o-r-i-n-g. As often as I tell my students not to do that, many of them do. And inevitably, they are not the good speeches. So don’t forget the attention-grabber right away.

2. Tell them why you’re qualified to talk about the topic.

Did you notice that in my opening paragraph I told you that I teach public speaking? That was my “credibility statement” in this article. Would you read this article if it was written by a chef who had never given a speech in his/her life? Probably not. And you shouldn’t take cooking advice from me either because I can barely cook Hamburger Helper. I think you see my point. You need to prove to the audience that you know your stuff.

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3. Preview your speech.

People like to know what’s ahead. That’s why we watch movie trailers. Most of us wouldn’t want to go to a movie if we had absolutely no clue what it was about. Speeches are no different. This is another huge mistake most speakers make. My students almost always forget to preview their main points. And when that happens, they sound like they are just rambling. This is not good for your credibility (see #2).

4. Be lively with your delivery.

I’m sure you have all been in an audience when you have had a boring speaker. It could have been a teacher, professor, or just simply someone you wanted to hear speak. But nothing will put an audience to sleep faster than a monotone person who doesn’t move around or use any gestures. I remember I had a sociology class in college where they professor literally did put most of the students to sleep. And I also had a Greek Mythology class where the professor acted out the Greek myths and wore costumes as he taught. Guess which class was more popular?

5. Don’t read the speech!

Going hand-in-hand with #4, one of the ways a delivery can be boring is if someone reads their speech. Yes, there are times when it’s appropriate, like in a graduation speech. In fact, I gave a speech at my 8th grade graduation and I read it. However, that was before I taught pubic speaking, so I didn’t know any better. But ideally, you just want to have key words to remind you of what you should be talking about. Having them on a power point is a great way to accomplish this.

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6. Plan some main points that you will cover so the speech has a structure.

I’m sure you’ve heard speeches where the person just seems to ramble. That is because they don’t have any main points. This is a big mistake my students make. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat there listening and thought to myself, “What’s their topic? What are they even saying?” You don’t want to do that. You need to make it very clear that you have prepared your material and have a “road map” for where you are going with your speech.

7. Have connections between your main points.

Transitions between the parts of the speech helps you with the structure. Preview your main points. Use sentences between them such as, “Now that we have discussed the problem, let’s move on to examine some possible solutions” so the audience doesn’t lose track of where you are going in your speech. And in the conclusion, saying something simple like “In conclusion .. ” or “To summarize what we talked about today … ” signals that you are ending your speech.

8. Tell stories.

Everyone loves stories. We live in a world of stories: we watch TV, we see movies, and we read novels. We even tell stories to our friends about what happened to us. Stories are everywhere. So using them in your speech will help people relate to the material and to you as a speaker. In my classes, I tell personal stories all the time, and it usually makes my students laugh. And who doesn’t like to laugh?

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9. Review your main points in the conclusion.

People have bad memories, and repetition helps them remember information. As I always say in class, “Tell them what you are going to tell them (preview), then tell them (main points), then tell them what you told them (review).” While it might sound like like unnecessary repetition, it helps people retain your information much better.

10. Practice, practice, practice!!

I can always tell when someone is “winging it.” It’s obvious. Preparation and practice are vital to a good speech. I remember when I took my first speech class in college, I totally blanked out in the middle of it. While it may not have made a lasting impression on anyone else, it did on me. From that moment on, I understood the point of practicing. It adds to your confidence and gives you more credibility as a speaker.

11. Leave the audience wanting more.

The audience should want to know more information about your topic when you’re done. They should want to come up to you after the speech and ask you to do another speech. You don’t want to have them sitting there wondering if they should clap because you’re done, or if you’re going to keep going. Believe me, that happens to me in class all the time. Do don’t do that. Make sure you end the speech with a bang, not a whimper.

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Giving a speech can be scary for a lot of people. However, if you follow these simple suggestions, you will do just fine!

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

What Is a Relationship Timeline and Should You Follow It? Dealing With Anxious Attachment: Advice from a Relationship Therapist Practical Advice for Overcoming Problems in INFP Relationships Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) How to Become a Motivational Speaker and Influence Millions of People

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Last Updated on March 21, 2019

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

Most gurus talk about habits in a way that doesn’t help you:

You need to push yourself more. You can’t be lazy. You need to wake up at 5 am. You need more motivation. You can never fail…blah blah “insert more gibberish here.”

But let me share with you the unconventional truths I found out:

To build and change habits, you don’t need motivation or wake up at 5 am. Heck, you can fail multiple times, be lazy, have no motivation and still pull it off with ease.

It’s quite simple and easy to do, especially with the following list I’m going to show to you. But remember, Jim Rohn used to say,

“What is simple and easy to do is also simple and easy not to do.”

The important things to remember when changing your habits are both simple and easy, just don’t think that they don’t make any difference because they do.

In fact, they are the only things that make a difference.

Let’s see what those small things are, shall we?

1. Start Small

The biggest mistake I see people doing with habits is by going big. You don’t go big…ever. You start small with your habits.

Want to grow a book reading habit? Don’t start reading a book a day. Start with 10 pages a day.

Want to become a writer? Don’t start writing 10,000 words a day. Start with 300 words.

Want to lose weight? Don’t stop eating ice cream. Eat one less ball of it.

Whatever it is, you need to start small. Starting big always leads to failure. It has to, because it’s not sustainable.

Start small. How small? The amount needs to be in your comfort zone. So if you think that reading 20 pages of a book is a bit too much, start with 10 or 5.

It needs to appear easy and be easy to do.

Do less today to do more in a year.

2. Stay Small

There is a notion of Kaizen which means continuous improvement. They use this notion in habits where they tell you to start with reading 1 page of a book a day and then gradually increase the amount you do over time.

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But the problem with this approach is the end line — where the “improvement” stops.

If I go from reading 1 page of a book a day and gradually reach 75 and 100, when do I stop? When I reach 1 book a day? That is just absurd.

When you start a habit, stay at it in the intensity you have decided. Don’t push yourself for more.

I started reading 20 pages of a book a day. It’s been more than 2 years now and I’ve read 101 books in that period. There is no way I will increase the number in the future.

Why?

Because reading 40 to 50 books a year is enough.

The same thing applies to every other habit out there.

Pick a (small) number and stay at it.

3. Bad Days Are 100 Percent Occurrence

No matter how great you are, you will have bad days where you won’t do your habit. Period.

There is no way of going around this. So it’s better to prepare yourself for when that happens instead of thinking that it won’t ever happen.

What I do when I miss a day of my habit(s) is that I try to bounce back the next day while trying to do habits for both of those days.

Example for that is if I read 20 pages of a book a day and I miss a day, the next day I will have to read 40 pages of a book. If I miss writing 500 words, the next day I need to write 1000.

This is a really important point we will discuss later on rewards and punishments.

This is how I prepare for the bad days when I skip my habit(s) and it’s a model you should take as well.

4. Those Who Track It, Hack It

When you track an activity, you can objectively tell what you did in the past days, weeks, months, and years. If you don’t track, you will for sure forget everything you did.

There are many different ways you can track your activities today, from Habitica to a simple Excel sheet that I use, to even a Whatsapp Tracker.

Peter Drucker said,

“What you track is what you do.”

So track it to do it — it really helps.

But tracking is accompanied by one more easy activity — measuring.

5. Measure Once, Do Twice

Peter Drucker also said,

“What you measure is what you improve.”

So alongside my tracker, I have numbers with which I measure doses of daily activities:

For reading, it’s 20 pages.
For writing, it’s 500 words.
For the gym, it’s 1 (I went) or 0 (didn’t go).
For budgeting, it’s writing down the incomes and expenses.

Tracking and measuring go hand in hand, they take less than 20 seconds a day but they create so much momentum that it’s unbelievable.

6. All Days Make a Difference

Will one day in the gym make you fit? It won’t.

Will two? They won’t.

Will three? They won’t.

Which means that a single gym session won’t make you fit. But after 100 gym sessions, you will look and feel fit.

What happened? Which one made you fit?

The answer to this (Sorites paradox)[1] is that no single gym session made you fit, they all did.

No single day makes a difference, but when combined, they all do. So trust the process and keep on going (small).

7. They Are Never Fully Automated

Gurus tell you that habits become automatic. And yes, some of them do, like showering a certain way of brushing your teeth.

But some habits don’t become automatic, they become a lifestyle.

What I mean by that is that you won’t automatically “wake up” in the gym and wonder how you got there.

It will just become a part of your lifestyle.

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The difference is that you do the first one automatically, without conscious thought, while the other is a part of how you live your life.

It’s not automatic, but it’s a decision you don’t ponder on or think about — you simply do it.

It will become easy at a certain point, but they will never become fully automated.

8. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith has a great book with the same title to it. The phrase means that sometimes, you will need to ditch certain habits to make room for other ones which will bring you to the next step.

Don’t be afraid to evolve your habits when you sense that they don’t bring you where you want to go.

When I started reading, it was about reading business and tactic books. But two years into it, I switched to philosophy books which don’t teach me anything “applicable,” but instead teach me how to think.

The most important ability of the 21st century is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The strongest tree is the willow tree – not because it has the strongest root or biggest trunk, but because it is flexible enough to endure and sustain anything.

Be like a willow, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

9. Set a Goal and Then Forget It

The most successful of us know what they want to achieve, but they don’t focus on it.

Sounds paradoxical? You’re right, it does. But here is the logic behind it.

You need to have a goal of doing something – “I want to become a healthy individual” – and then, you need to reverse engineer how to get there with your habits- “I will go to the gym four times a week.”

But once you have your goal, you need to “forget” about it and only focus on the process. Because you are working on the process of becoming healthy and it’s always in the making. You will only be as healthy as you take care of your body.

So you have a goal which isn’t static but keeps on moving.

If you went to the gym 150 times year and you hit your goal, what would you do then? You would stop going to the gym.

This is why goal-oriented people experience yo-yo effect[2] and why process-oriented people don’t.

The difference between process-oriented and goal-oriented people is that the first focus on daily actions while others only focus on the reward at the finish line.

Set a goal but then forget about it and reap massive awards.

10. Punish Yourself

Last two sections are pure Pavlovian – you need to punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. You are the only person who decides what is good and what is bad for you, but when you do, you need to rigorously follow that.

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I’ve told you in point #3 about bad days and how after one occurs, I do double the work on the next day. That is one of my forms of punishments.

It’s the need to tell your brain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they lead to bad outcomes. That’s what punishments are for.

You want to tell your brain that there are real consequences to missing your daily habits.[3]

No favorite food to eat or favorite show to watch or going to the cinema for a new Marvel movie- none, zero, zilch.

The brain will remember these bad feelings and will try to avoid the behaviors that led to them as much as possible.

But don’t forget the other side of the same coin.

11. Reward Yourself

When you follow and execute on your plan, reward yourself. It’s how the brain knows that you did something good.

Whenever I finish one of my habits for the day, I open my tracker (who am I kidding, I always keep it open on my desktop) and fill it with a number. As soon as I finish reading 20 pages of a book a day (or a bit more), I open the tracker and write the number down.

The cell becomes green and gives me an instant boost of endorphin – a great success for the day. Then, it becomes all about not breaking the chain and having as many green fields as possible.

After 100 days, I crunch some numbers and see how I did.

If I have less than 10 cheat days, I reward myself with a great meal in a restaurant. You can create your own rewards and they can be daily, weekly, monthly or any arbitrary time table that you create.

Primoz Bozic, a productivity coach, has gold, silver, and bronze medals as his reward system.[4]

If you’re having problems creating a system which works for you, contact me via email and we can discuss specifics.

In the End, It Matters

What you do matters not only to you but to the people around you.

When you increase the quality of your life, you indirectly increase the quality of life of people around you. And sometimes, that is all the “motivation” we need to start.

And that’s the best quote for the end of this article:

“Motivation gets you started, but habits keep you going.”

Keep going.

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More Resources to Help You Build Habits

Featured photo credit: Anete Lūsiņa via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Sorites paradox
[2] Muscle Zone: What causes yo-yo effect and how to avoid it?
[3] Growth Habits: 5 Missteps That Cause You To Quit Building A Habit
[4] Primoz Bozic: The Lean Review: How to Plan Your 2019 in 20 Minutes

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