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13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

Becoming successful requires some emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence offers you the stability to go the long haul. Through this process you meet difficult and toxic people who defy logic and challenge your vitality. Difficult people offer you stress and negativity and could deny you the platform to attain each milestone. Here are some ways in which many emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people.

1. They establish boundaries

You cannot please everyone neither can you fulfill or meet all their expectations. Emotionally intelligent people do not sell themselves short in this regard. They rise above the chaos and maintain some distance with difficult people.

2. They focus on solutions

Rather than focus on problems caused by difficult people they focus on actions that will better circumstances. There is no point in rambling and going toe to toe with a difficult person’s negativity, instead they find how to deal with whatever complications that should be solved.

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3. They know their strengths and weaknesses

They know what they can take and what they cannot. They are self aware of their flaws and strengths and can thus project or channel this in finding the right way when they are met with the stress from a difficult person.

4. They don’t forget

Some say experience is the best teacher. The emotionally intelligent person knows this. He knows that a difficult person’s prior troubles could give birth to another. Even when they will have to offer a second chance, they try to protect themselves from it through the knowledge they already have.

5. They terminate negative talk

Difficult people are full of criticisms and negativity. Emotionally intelligent people don’t listen to this neither do they engage themselves in conversations that will create tensions and stir negative emotions.

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6. They don’t consume themselves in a fight

Going into a fight with a difficult person could leave them severely damaged, thus they keep and conserve their strength for another day. They know they do not have to respond to every negative emotion a difficult person stirs.

7. They focus on their joys

Emotional intelligent people are happy and they love to stay happy at what they do. They derive their satisfaction and happiness from within rather than from the external opinion of people.

8. They get a deserved rest

Getting the right kind of sleep tends to recharge an emotionally intelligent person. They relax and get the needed rest to reduce their stress level to keep them positive, creative and proactive for the next day.

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9. They cling to like-minded people for support

Dealing with difficult people alone may not be the best solution. Emotionally intelligent people forge a support system with those who they admire and who can support them through difficult situations. This is why people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates or like-minded people remain friends.

10. They stay above difficult situations

Emotionally intelligent people do not get involved in emotional brouhahas with difficult people. Rather they stare at the facts and numbers. They do not focus on the things they cannot control, but rather on the things they can control.

11. They can forgive

They distance themselves from mistakes and do so to adapt and adjust theirselves for future success. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting though, yet they do understand the benefits of letting go and defining a path for things they have to accomplish in the future.

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12. They disconnect

Emotionally intelligent people sometimes have to refrain from activities related to work to get away from their stressors. They want to get the best out of themselves and thus they offer theirselves time to recharge and get away from negative or difficult situations.

13. They limit caffeine intake

Caffeine intake tends to trigger the release of adrenaline in the body. Adrenaline remains a source of a fight-flight response. Because they want to be able to manage their emotions they do well to reduce their caffeine intake so that they do not have to respond fiercely to a comment from a difficult person.

Featured photo credit: urban man lying on a catwalk in the field enjoying nature via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2020

Why Work Life Balance Doesn’t Exist (And How to Stay Sane)

Why Work Life Balance Doesn’t Exist (And How to Stay Sane)

If you’ve ever felt like work-life balance isn’t really possible, you may be right.

Actually, I think work-life balance doesn’t exist. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a rising star in the corporate world, work is always going to overflow from your 9 to 5 into your personal life. And if you have ambitions of becoming successful in just about any capacity, you’re going to have to make sacrifices.

Which is why, instead of striving for the unrealistic goal of “work-life balance,” I use a combination of rituals, tools, and coping mechanisms that allows me to thrive on a day-to-day basis.

Of course, moments still arise when I may feel overloaded with work and a bit out of balance, but with these daily rituals in place, I am able to feel grounded instead of feeling like I’m losing my mind.

Here are five daily practices I use to stay focused and balanced despite a jam-packed work schedule:

1. Pause (Frequently!) to Remember That You Chose This Path

Regardless of which path you take in life, it’s important to remind yourself that you are the one who chose the path you’re on.

For example, one of the joys of being an entrepreneur is that you experience a significant amount of freedom. Unfortunately, in moments of stress, it’s easy to forget that choice goes both ways: you chose to go your own way, and you chose the obstacles that come with that journey.

Remember: tomorrow, you could choose to leave your job, shut down your company, and go move to a farm in the middle of nowhere. The choice is yours.

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Whenever I catch myself thinking, “Why am I doing this?” I simply remember, “Oh, wait. I chose this.” And if I want to, I can choose another option. But at this moment, I own it because I chose it.

That simple mental shift can help me move from feeling out of control to in control. It’s empowering.

2. Use ‘Rocks’ to Prioritize Your Tasks

Sometimes having a to-do list is more overwhelming than it is helpful.

The daily tasks of anyone in a high-stakes, high-responsibility role are never-ending. Literally. No matter how many items you check off your list, each day adds just as many new ones, and even after a full day it can often feel like you haven’t accomplished anything.

So instead, I use “rocks”—a strategy I learned from performance coach Bill Nelson.

Say you have a glass container and a variety of rocks, divided into groups of large, mid-sized, and small rocks, and then some sand. If you put the small rocks in first, you’re not going to be able to fit everything in your container. But if you put the big rocks in first, then the mid-sized, and, finally, the small, they’ll all fit. And at the end, the sand fills the extra space.

The point of this strategy is to designate a handful of your biggest priorities for the week—let’s say five tasks—as the things you absolutely have to get done that week. Write them down somewhere.

Then, even if you accomplish nothing else but those five things, you’re going to feel better, since you completed the important tasks. You’ve made progress!

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Identifying your “rocks” is a better way of tracking progress and ensuring that you focus on the most critical things. You can create rocks on a weekly or even daily basis.

Some days, when I’m feeling the most frenzied, I say to myself, “You know what? Let’s boil it down. If I accomplish nothing else today and I just do these three things, it will be a good day.”

3. The PEW12 Method

Of all the daily practices I follow, Purge Emotional Writing (PEW12), which I learned from Dr. Habib Sadeghi, is my favorite.[1]

Here’s how it works:

Pick a topic, set a timer for 12 minutes, and just write.

You may be dealing with a specific issue you need to vent about, or you may be free-writing as emotions surface. It doesn’t matter what you’re writing or what your handwriting looks like, because you’re never going to re-read it.

At the end, burn the pages.

As the paper burns, you will feel all of those emotions you’ve just poured out either being reduced or dissipating completely. Both the writing process—which is literally unloading all of your unnecessary stuff—and the burning of the pages feel incredibly cathartic.

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And you can do PEW12 as frequently or infrequently as you feel you need it—once, twice, or multiple times a day.  

The reason I find this exercise so helpful is because, sometimes, I get in my head about a difficult issue or troubling interaction with someone, even when I know there is nothing to be done about it.

But as soon as I do my PEW12, I feel a sense of relief. I have more clarity. And I stop circling and circling the issue in my head. It makes things feel resolved. Just try it.

4. Set Sacred Time (Like a 20-Minute Walk or Evening Bath)

Outside of work, you have to try to protect some time for restoration and quiet. I call this sacred time.

For example, every single night I take a bath. This is a chance to literally wash off the day and any of the energy from the people, interactions, or experiences that I don’t want to take to bed with me.

I actually remodeled a bathroom in my house solely for this purpose. The bath ritual—which includes Himalayan bath salts, essential oils, and a five-minute meditation—is the ultimate “me time” and allows me to go to bed feeling peaceful and relaxed.

And while sacred time to end the day is crucial, I like to start the day with these types of practices, too.

In the mornings, I take my dog Bernard for a walk—and I use those 20 minutes to set my intention for the day. I don’t take my phone with me. I don’t think about the endless to-do list. I just enjoy listening to the birds and breathing in the sunshine, while Bernard stops to say hi to the neighbors and their dogs.

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These might seem like ordinary daily activities, but it’s the commitment to doing them day after day that makes all the difference.

5. Forgive Yourself When You Fail to Use the Tools

Sometimes our intention to follow “daily” practices falls flat. When this happens to me, I try not to beat myself up about it. After all, these things are tools to make me feel good. If they just become another chore, what is the point?

At the end of the day, my daily practices don’t belong in my jar of rocks or on my to-do list or in my daily planner. They are there to serve me.

If, for some reason, life happens and I can’t do my practices, I won’t feel as good. It’s possible I won’t sleep as well that night, or I’ll feel a little guilty that I didn’t walk Bernard.

But that’s okay. It’s also a good practice to acknowledge my limits and let go of the need to do everything all the time.

The Bottom Line

For most people, accepting that work-life balance simply isn’t possible is the first step to feeling more grounded and in control of your life.

Don’t waste your energy trying to achieve something that doesn’t exist. Instead, focus on how you’re feeling when things are out of balance and find a way to address those feelings.

You’ll have a toolkit for feeling better when life feels crazy, and, on the off chance things feel calm and happy, your rituals will make you feel absolutely amazing!

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Featured photo credit: Dries De Schepper via unsplash.com

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