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13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

Becoming successful requires some emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence offers you the stability to go the long haul. Through this process you meet difficult and toxic people who defy logic and challenge your vitality. Difficult people offer you stress and negativity and could deny you the platform to attain each milestone. Here are some ways in which many emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people.

1. They establish boundaries

You cannot please everyone neither can you fulfill or meet all their expectations. Emotionally intelligent people do not sell themselves short in this regard. They rise above the chaos and maintain some distance with difficult people.

2. They focus on solutions

Rather than focus on problems caused by difficult people they focus on actions that will better circumstances. There is no point in rambling and going toe to toe with a difficult person’s negativity, instead they find how to deal with whatever complications that should be solved.

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3. They know their strengths and weaknesses

They know what they can take and what they cannot. They are self aware of their flaws and strengths and can thus project or channel this in finding the right way when they are met with the stress from a difficult person.

4. They don’t forget

Some say experience is the best teacher. The emotionally intelligent person knows this. He knows that a difficult person’s prior troubles could give birth to another. Even when they will have to offer a second chance, they try to protect themselves from it through the knowledge they already have.

5. They terminate negative talk

Difficult people are full of criticisms and negativity. Emotionally intelligent people don’t listen to this neither do they engage themselves in conversations that will create tensions and stir negative emotions.

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6. They don’t consume themselves in a fight

Going into a fight with a difficult person could leave them severely damaged, thus they keep and conserve their strength for another day. They know they do not have to respond to every negative emotion a difficult person stirs.

7. They focus on their joys

Emotional intelligent people are happy and they love to stay happy at what they do. They derive their satisfaction and happiness from within rather than from the external opinion of people.

8. They get a deserved rest

Getting the right kind of sleep tends to recharge an emotionally intelligent person. They relax and get the needed rest to reduce their stress level to keep them positive, creative and proactive for the next day.

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9. They cling to like-minded people for support

Dealing with difficult people alone may not be the best solution. Emotionally intelligent people forge a support system with those who they admire and who can support them through difficult situations. This is why people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates or like-minded people remain friends.

10. They stay above difficult situations

Emotionally intelligent people do not get involved in emotional brouhahas with difficult people. Rather they stare at the facts and numbers. They do not focus on the things they cannot control, but rather on the things they can control.

11. They can forgive

They distance themselves from mistakes and do so to adapt and adjust theirselves for future success. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting though, yet they do understand the benefits of letting go and defining a path for things they have to accomplish in the future.

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12. They disconnect

Emotionally intelligent people sometimes have to refrain from activities related to work to get away from their stressors. They want to get the best out of themselves and thus they offer theirselves time to recharge and get away from negative or difficult situations.

13. They limit caffeine intake

Caffeine intake tends to trigger the release of adrenaline in the body. Adrenaline remains a source of a fight-flight response. Because they want to be able to manage their emotions they do well to reduce their caffeine intake so that they do not have to respond fiercely to a comment from a difficult person.

Featured photo credit: urban man lying on a catwalk in the field enjoying nature via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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