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13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

Becoming successful requires some emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence offers you the stability to go the long haul. Through this process you meet difficult and toxic people who defy logic and challenge your vitality. Difficult people offer you stress and negativity and could deny you the platform to attain each milestone. Here are some ways in which many emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people.

1. They establish boundaries

You cannot please everyone neither can you fulfill or meet all their expectations. Emotionally intelligent people do not sell themselves short in this regard. They rise above the chaos and maintain some distance with difficult people.

2. They focus on solutions

Rather than focus on problems caused by difficult people they focus on actions that will better circumstances. There is no point in rambling and going toe to toe with a difficult person’s negativity, instead they find how to deal with whatever complications that should be solved.

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3. They know their strengths and weaknesses

They know what they can take and what they cannot. They are self aware of their flaws and strengths and can thus project or channel this in finding the right way when they are met with the stress from a difficult person.

4. They don’t forget

Some say experience is the best teacher. The emotionally intelligent person knows this. He knows that a difficult person’s prior troubles could give birth to another. Even when they will have to offer a second chance, they try to protect themselves from it through the knowledge they already have.

5. They terminate negative talk

Difficult people are full of criticisms and negativity. Emotionally intelligent people don’t listen to this neither do they engage themselves in conversations that will create tensions and stir negative emotions.

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6. They don’t consume themselves in a fight

Going into a fight with a difficult person could leave them severely damaged, thus they keep and conserve their strength for another day. They know they do not have to respond to every negative emotion a difficult person stirs.

7. They focus on their joys

Emotional intelligent people are happy and they love to stay happy at what they do. They derive their satisfaction and happiness from within rather than from the external opinion of people.

8. They get a deserved rest

Getting the right kind of sleep tends to recharge an emotionally intelligent person. They relax and get the needed rest to reduce their stress level to keep them positive, creative and proactive for the next day.

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9. They cling to like-minded people for support

Dealing with difficult people alone may not be the best solution. Emotionally intelligent people forge a support system with those who they admire and who can support them through difficult situations. This is why people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates or like-minded people remain friends.

10. They stay above difficult situations

Emotionally intelligent people do not get involved in emotional brouhahas with difficult people. Rather they stare at the facts and numbers. They do not focus on the things they cannot control, but rather on the things they can control.

11. They can forgive

They distance themselves from mistakes and do so to adapt and adjust theirselves for future success. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting though, yet they do understand the benefits of letting go and defining a path for things they have to accomplish in the future.

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12. They disconnect

Emotionally intelligent people sometimes have to refrain from activities related to work to get away from their stressors. They want to get the best out of themselves and thus they offer theirselves time to recharge and get away from negative or difficult situations.

13. They limit caffeine intake

Caffeine intake tends to trigger the release of adrenaline in the body. Adrenaline remains a source of a fight-flight response. Because they want to be able to manage their emotions they do well to reduce their caffeine intake so that they do not have to respond fiercely to a comment from a difficult person.

Featured photo credit: urban man lying on a catwalk in the field enjoying nature via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on July 22, 2019

The Secret to Success Is Failure

The Secret to Success Is Failure

You see a job that you’d love to do; and, you decide to go for it.

You submit your application, and then are pleased to find a few days later that you’re invited for an interview. This goes well, and you begin to have quiet optimism that a job offer will be coming your way soon…

It doesn’t.

Instead, you receive a letter saying thank you — but, they’ve decided to go with another candidate.

At this point, you could allow yourself to feel defeated, sad, and perhaps even a little angry. These are normal responses to bad news. Yet, it’s not wise to let them fester and disrupt your goals. Successful people don’t let failures kill their dreams.

Sure, they might temporarily feel deflated. But, very quickly, they pick themselves back up again and begin planning their next steps towards success.

How about you? Do you currently feel embarrassed or guilty about failing?

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Don’t worry if you do, as most of us have been programmed since childhood to see failure as a bad thing. Yet, as I’m going to show you in the next few minutes, this programming is dead wrong — failure is actually an essential part of success.

Don’t Be Tempted by Perfection

The first thing I want you to think about is this:

Resisting failure is, at its core, seeking perfection. And, perfection doesn’t exist.

That’s why perfectionists are also likely to be chronic procrastinators.

As Psychology Today noted in their article Pitfalls of Perfectionism, people who constantly seek for perfection stop themselves from engaging in challenging experiences.[1] That’s because these perfectionists are less creative and innovative than the average person — plus they’re less likely to take risks. Add these factors together, and you have someone who is overly focused on their own performance and is always quick to defend themselves. Unfortunately, these traits prevent them from having the necessary focus when it comes to learning new tasks.

Let me be clear: Striving for perfection is not the same as striving for excellence.

The former is a fool’s quest for the unattainable; while the latter is really just about doing our very best (which we can all obtain).

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And, there’s another problem that perfectionists have to deal with. Namely, when they fail to reach their ideal, they feel dejected and defeated. And — as you can imagine — repeat this often enough, and these people can end up feeling bitter and depressed about their lives.

So, forget about seeking perfection, and instead, focus on always doing your very best.

Why Failure Is Good

I recently came across a Forbes article Failing Your Way To Success: Why Failure Is A Crucial Ingredient For Success[2] that helped explain why most people are opposed to failure.

The article referenced the work of two world-renowned psychologists (Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky), who were awarded a Nobel Prize for their work. They discovered something very interesting: the effect of a loss is twice as great as the gain from a win.

Have you ever thought about that before?

What it means is that failure has a far greater negative impact on us than the positive impact of an equivalent win. It’s no wonder then that most people are afraid to fail.

And, here’s where it gets interesting…

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Amazon (which along with Apple, Facebook and Google, is considered one of the Big Four technology companies) has a culture that is tolerant of failure. And Jeff Bezos — Amazon’s founder and CEO — believes that this culture is one of the main reasons for the company’s big achievements over the last 25 years. In a letter to shareholders, he said:

“Failure comes part and parcel with invention. It’s not optional. We understand that and believe in failing early and iterating until we get it right.” 

The truth is, failure can open up a world of exciting opportunities for you.

How does it do this?

By constantly showing you new avenues to travel on. And, by helping you learn from your mistakes — so you can be better next time around. It also helps you identify what’s not working for your life, and what is.

So instead of seeing something as detrimental to success, you should see it as a tool FOR success. A tool that will help you to continually refine your journey in life.

If you still need some convincing that the secret to success is failure, then take a look at the following excerpts from our article 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On:

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• J.K. Rowling encountered a catalog of failures shortly after graduating from college, including: being jobless, the breakdown of her marriage, and living as a lone parent. However, instead of giving up on life, she used these failures to propel her to write the Harry Potter fantasy series — the best-selling book series in history.

• Walt Disney didn’t have an easy start either. He dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt to join the army. Later, one of his early business ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt. He was also fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.” (Yes, you read that correctly.) Was he defeated by these failures? Just ask Mickey Mouse.

• Michael Jordan had this to say about the power of failure: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Embrace Failure, and Prepare for Success

I hope this has been an eye-opener for you.

Failure has long been branded a leper; but in reality, it’s a healthy, essential component of success.

The trick of course is to develop the mindset of a winner. Someone who sees failures as stepping stones to success — and defeats as important learning experiences.

So, are you ready to embrace your failures and take the proud road to success?

I sincerely hope so.

Featured photo credit: Bruce Mars via unsplash.com

Reference

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