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13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult People

Becoming successful requires some emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence offers you the stability to go the long haul. Through this process you meet difficult and toxic people who defy logic and challenge your vitality. Difficult people offer you stress and negativity and could deny you the platform to attain each milestone. Here are some ways in which many emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people.

1. They establish boundaries

You cannot please everyone neither can you fulfill or meet all their expectations. Emotionally intelligent people do not sell themselves short in this regard. They rise above the chaos and maintain some distance with difficult people.

2. They focus on solutions

Rather than focus on problems caused by difficult people they focus on actions that will better circumstances. There is no point in rambling and going toe to toe with a difficult person’s negativity, instead they find how to deal with whatever complications that should be solved.

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3. They know their strengths and weaknesses

They know what they can take and what they cannot. They are self aware of their flaws and strengths and can thus project or channel this in finding the right way when they are met with the stress from a difficult person.

4. They don’t forget

Some say experience is the best teacher. The emotionally intelligent person knows this. He knows that a difficult person’s prior troubles could give birth to another. Even when they will have to offer a second chance, they try to protect themselves from it through the knowledge they already have.

5. They terminate negative talk

Difficult people are full of criticisms and negativity. Emotionally intelligent people don’t listen to this neither do they engage themselves in conversations that will create tensions and stir negative emotions.

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6. They don’t consume themselves in a fight

Going into a fight with a difficult person could leave them severely damaged, thus they keep and conserve their strength for another day. They know they do not have to respond to every negative emotion a difficult person stirs.

7. They focus on their joys

Emotional intelligent people are happy and they love to stay happy at what they do. They derive their satisfaction and happiness from within rather than from the external opinion of people.

8. They get a deserved rest

Getting the right kind of sleep tends to recharge an emotionally intelligent person. They relax and get the needed rest to reduce their stress level to keep them positive, creative and proactive for the next day.

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9. They cling to like-minded people for support

Dealing with difficult people alone may not be the best solution. Emotionally intelligent people forge a support system with those who they admire and who can support them through difficult situations. This is why people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates or like-minded people remain friends.

10. They stay above difficult situations

Emotionally intelligent people do not get involved in emotional brouhahas with difficult people. Rather they stare at the facts and numbers. They do not focus on the things they cannot control, but rather on the things they can control.

11. They can forgive

They distance themselves from mistakes and do so to adapt and adjust theirselves for future success. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting though, yet they do understand the benefits of letting go and defining a path for things they have to accomplish in the future.

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12. They disconnect

Emotionally intelligent people sometimes have to refrain from activities related to work to get away from their stressors. They want to get the best out of themselves and thus they offer theirselves time to recharge and get away from negative or difficult situations.

13. They limit caffeine intake

Caffeine intake tends to trigger the release of adrenaline in the body. Adrenaline remains a source of a fight-flight response. Because they want to be able to manage their emotions they do well to reduce their caffeine intake so that they do not have to respond fiercely to a comment from a difficult person.

Featured photo credit: urban man lying on a catwalk in the field enjoying nature via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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