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The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties

The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties

It’s summertime, which means that everyone is spending all the time with the sunshine, warm breezes and the general good mood with other people at parties and fun shindigs. Yes, I’m aware using the word “shindig” makes me sound like I’m in a Joss Whedon TV show or in the early Sixties.

The point is that when the weather’s nice and the music’s playing and the booze is flowing, it’s pretty darn easy to get drunk very quickly. It’s also much easier to find yourself rubbing shoulders with some people whose character is a bit crappy when they’re partaking in alcohol.

I’ve rounded up a list of seven of the worst types of offenders and how to either deal with being caught in close proximity with one of them, or what you should do if your friend becomes one of them over the course of the party. After all, we all have to look out for each other, right?

1. Happy Drunk

happy drunk

    The “best” kind of drunk is the Happy Drunk: they’re happy, they’re joyous, they’re the life of the party. The only reason to hate getting stuck with them and to avoid these drunks like the plague is if you’re sober, or at least not as inebriated as them, they will come across as annoying as hell. Oh, you think life is so fantastic and dancing to the Black Eyed Peas is awesome? Well that song ended an hour ago and since then you’ve been grinding against a doorframe with a look of bliss that became frightening about ten minutes in.

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    Tip for dealing with them? Pretend to be as happy as them and then go make your own party by getting away and finding your friends.

    2. Sad Drunk

    sad drunk

      Alcohol can do funny things to people and one of the most common is to make them sad—bringing about Type 2, the Sad Drunk—which is never fun for either the inebriated or those around them. We’ve all seen someone like that at a party: maybe they’ve just been dumped, maybe they’ve had a crappy day at work. Who knows, but add all this to alcohol and the chances are that you’ll be confronted with a crying, sobbing, sullen drunk person whose life is a nadir of joy and happiness at the moment in time and who are kind of a bummer to be around at a party.

      Tip for dealing with them? Largely, I’d say be nice to them. Keep them positive and find them some people to hang out with if they’re on their own and then move on. Keep an eye on them if you can.

      3. Reckless Drunk

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      heady drunk

        Oh God, the Reckless Drunk. The guy who has a few tequila shots and decides he’s Superman, Criss Angel and Tony Hawk all in one. Chances are he’ll be sliding down the bannisters, doing ridiculously stupid amounts of booze in the kitchen, or deciding to something so dumb that it makes your heart drop into your stomach at the very thought of it.

        Tip for dealing with them? Take his toys away. If he’s planning to skate his way down the stairs, hide the skateboard for a few hours with the help of a couple of friends. It might cut into your evening a bit, but let’s face it—it’s nothing compared to having the party interrupted by a visit to the ER. The reckless drunk will sulk, but get over it super-quickly. No harm, no foul, and all that.

        4. Philosophical Drunk

        Philosophical drunk

          You know this kind of drunk: three hours into the party, while most people are trying successfully or unsuccessfully to attract someone of their preferred gender, the Philosophical Drunk will be found discussing the big topics. Life, death, their favourite meal at the Olive Garden. Turns out that when they get a little bit of liquor in their system, they become Jean-Paul Sartre with a beanie hat.

          Tip for dealing with them? There are two options to go with: A) act stupid or drunk in their vicinity (it’ll make them dismiss you as a potential debating partner), or B) if you’re cornered by the Philosophical Drunk, throw him or her for a loop with a back-up question that’ll give them enough pause for thought to make your escape and leave them still contemplating.

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          5. DJ Drunk

          dj drunk

            There’s not enough money in the world to make any of us dance to a song we truly hate, but give us a heavy dose of alcohol and a lowering of personal taste and social inhibition and you’ll have a bunch of people leering and doing “Sexy and I Know It”. The person in charge for inducing these wannabe dancing heroes is The DJ Drunk. The kind who commandeers the Spotify playlist all evening and lines up every kind of disparate genre. There’s nothing wrong with getting your groove onto some alt-indie tunes or some big and bold pop, but it’s so jarring when they switch from one to the other and sometimes don’t even finish playing the song. A DJ Drunk who is possessive of the music can ruin an evening.

            Tip for dealing with them? If you want to regain control of the music, encourage the DJ Drunk to dance. After all, they’ve picked the music, they’re most likely to actually like the music that’s being played. Get them on the dancefloor, let them shake their groove thing, and get someone else to take control of the music.

            6. Sleazy Drunk

            sleazy drunk

              Say hello to the Sleazy Drunk. Otherwise known as the kind of guy or girl who becomes very sleazy and inappropriate when they’re drunk, with lascivious comments and half-attempted gropes; the creepy, horrible side to those people who normally wouldn’t dare consider grinding up against a complete stranger no matter how inappropriate or unwanted their attentions are. The Sleazy Drunk can sometimes be an exaggeration of the generally kind of sleazy person you might run into—the only difference being that now they can blame alcohol for their attempts and indiscretions. Nice.

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              Tip for dealing with them? If you’re stuck being chatted up by the Sleazy Drunk, the old “my friend is calling me” line is a great trick to get out of Dodge. Other ways to get out include asking them if they want a drink and going to the kitchen, or just busting out a big fat lie if you’ve never met this guy and probably will never do so again. I personally go with the “I’m dating someone” line, but use your discretion as to what lie you choose to use.

              7. Sober Drunk

              sober drunk

                Last but most certainly not least is the Sober Drunk. While the Sober Drunk might seem to be a bit of a contradiction in words, they’re certainly their own special kind of drunk; the kind that comes from hours of drinking and inebriation when they gain moments of clarity and insight. Why is this such a bad thing? In theory it’s not, but let’s face the facts that sometimes it’s the unwanted or unspoken truths that come tumbling out when we lose our mouth-to-brain filter. The Sober Drunk will realise that they don’t actually like any of their friends and will tell them so to devastating effect or reveal that their dalliance with a mysterious someone is actually a significant other of someone at the party and within earshot. Oops.

                Tip for dealing with them? Get them the hell out of the party and run damage control. The minute someone starts talking about so-and-so’s boyfriend, move them away from the main body of the party to somewhere quiet. It doesn’t matter if it’s the garden, the bathroom or an unoccupied bedroom, the last thing you need is the Sober Drunk blabbing in front of someone they’ll regret. If you can’t get them out in time, lie your ass off and leave the party with them. That’s what good friends do.

                Which type of drunk do you run into most? Any type of drunk you hate or love most? Let’s hope not to meet any of the most awful type drunk people any more! (Though it could actually be quite funny!)

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                How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

                How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

                Keeping yourself awake at work can be a real challenge when you’re bored, exhausted or sleep-deprived.

                But before you reach for that can of Red Bull, bottle of Mountain Dew, or pot of coffee, try these healthy remedies to stimulate your 5 different senses and help you stay awake at work:

                Sight – Visual Stimulation

                The first thing you do when you wake up is opening your eyes, so your visual stimulation is very important to keeping your energy level high.

                1. Maximize your exposure to light.

                Your body’s internal rhythm is regulated by the amount of light you receive. The greater your exposure, the more alert you will feel.

                Open the shades and let in the sunlight. Step outside or look out the window. Turn on all the artificial lights in your office or around your work space.

                2. Exercise your eyes (or give them a break).

                Roll your eyes up and down, side to side and diagonally. Rotate them clockwise and then counterclockwise. Squeeze them shut and then open them wide. Do this several times.

                Reading and sitting in front of a computer screen for long periods can lead to eye fatigue.

                Take regular breaks with deliberate blinking and looking out into the distance.

                3. Take note of your environment.

                Learn to enjoy people-watching. Observe their activities, speech, body language and interactions with others. Notice the details of building, trees and other objects around you, including their color, shape and size.

                By doing this, you’re not only relaxing your eye muscles but also calming your mind.

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                Hearing – Auditory Stimulation

                What you hear or listen to have direct effect on your brain. This is why we feel so annoyed and sometimes angry when we hear construction noise when we’re working.

                4. Engage in conversation.

                Talk to a friend or colleague. Trade funny stories. Discuss your business venture, a creative idea, the latest political scandal, or any other topic that interests you.

                Practice mindful listening to what you and the other person are saying. Tune into the tone, volume and content of the conversation.

                Learn how to practice better listening from this guide:

                Why Listen to Reply Instead of Understand Is the Key to Failure

                5. Listen to upbeat music.

                Try hip hop, rock or jazz to keep you alert. Instrumental, non-distracting music works best.

                Sing, whistle, and hum along if you can. Plug in the earphones if you must.

                Smell – Olfactory Stimulation

                If you’re feeling sleepy and suddenly smell the coffee, you’ll probably feel more energetic. This is why smell is an influential stimulation.

                6. Work your nose.

                Aroma therapists recommend essential oils of peppermint (to boost energy), rosemary (to build awareness), eucalyptus (to increase oxygen), cedarwood  (to activate your mind), and cinnamon (to improve your reaction time).

                If you don’t have essential oils on hand, you can use lotions or burning candles that provide the same scents.

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                Citrus like lemons, limes, grapefruits and oranges are also natural olfactory stimulants. Get a whiff of these citrus scents to stay awake.

                Taste – Gustatory Stimulation

                If you want an energetic day at work, you can’t let your tongue feeling plain and flavorless.

                7. Have a good breakfast.

                Start off with the most important meal of the day.

                Think fresh, light and healthy: bran cereals, wholegrain breads, fruits, and yogurt.

                Nix the heavy stuff like sausages, greasy eggs or pancakes.

                Need some breakfasts inspirations? Check out these ideas:

                20 Healthy Breakfast Choices That Will Save You Time

                8. Drink lots of water.

                Keep a glass or bottle of H2O near you and sip from it throughout the day. Dehydration can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and sleepy.

                So make sure you drink enough water throughout the day. Not sure how much to drink? This can help you:

                How Much Water Should You Drink Each Day (and How Much Is Too Much for You)

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                Think that you’ve been drinking too little water? Try these friendly reminders:

                3 Best Apps To Help You Drink Much More Water

                9. Eat energy-boosting snacks.

                Nuts and fruits (like bananas, apples and strawberries) are sure bets. Pairings with staying power include baby carrots with a low-fat cream cheese dip; celery sticks with peanut butter; red peppers with hummus; and plain yogurt with granola.

                Avoid carb-filled, sugary snacks that make you crash and leave you feeling tired.

                Here you can find some healthy snack ideas:

                25 Healthy Snack Recipes To Make Your Workday More Productive

                Touch – Tactile Stimulation

                Last but not least, your sense of touch will make you physically feel more energetic and less stressful.

                10. Splash cold water on your face.

                Do this in the morning, during bathroom breaks and in the afternoon. Being exposed to cold water pushes your body to adjust and regulate its internal temperature, which in turn keeps you alert.

                This works the same as you take a cold shower to increase mood and alertness. Take a look at this article to learn more about it:

                5 Surprising Benefits of Cold Showers

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                11. Use acupressure.

                Apply pressure to, massage, or tap on the stimulation points of your body. These include the top of your head, the back of your neck, the back of your hand (between the thumb and index finger), just below the knee and your earlobes.

                Watch this video to learn about the acupressure points you can try:

                12. Get moving.

                Move away from your chair and stand, walk, run or climb the stairs. Feel the earth under your feet. Stretch and twist. Do jumping jacks, lunges, push-ups and back bends.

                And if you need to move more discreetly, wiggle your feet, bounce your knee up and down, scrunch your toes, or cross your legs.

                You can also try some simple stretches and exercises at your desk:

                Unlike addictive caffeine fixes, these remedies activate your senses, engage your attention, amp up your energy and prevent morning grogginess and afternoon slumps without the side effects or health risks.

                Pick a few ways from this list of suggestions and practice them consistently. And when you do this consistently, you’ll soon see the positive results — a more energetic and productive you at work.

                Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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