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The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties

The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties
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It’s summertime, which means that everyone is spending all the time with the sunshine, warm breezes and the general good mood with other people at parties and fun shindigs. Yes, I’m aware using the word “shindig” makes me sound like I’m in a Joss Whedon TV show or in the early Sixties.

The point is that when the weather’s nice and the music’s playing and the booze is flowing, it’s pretty darn easy to get drunk very quickly. It’s also much easier to find yourself rubbing shoulders with some people whose character is a bit crappy when they’re partaking in alcohol.

I’ve rounded up a list of seven of the worst types of offenders and how to either deal with being caught in close proximity with one of them, or what you should do if your friend becomes one of them over the course of the party. After all, we all have to look out for each other, right?

1. Happy Drunk

happy drunk

    The “best” kind of drunk is the Happy Drunk: they’re happy, they’re joyous, they’re the life of the party. The only reason to hate getting stuck with them and to avoid these drunks like the plague is if you’re sober, or at least not as inebriated as them, they will come across as annoying as hell. Oh, you think life is so fantastic and dancing to the Black Eyed Peas is awesome? Well that song ended an hour ago and since then you’ve been grinding against a doorframe with a look of bliss that became frightening about ten minutes in.

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    Tip for dealing with them? Pretend to be as happy as them and then go make your own party by getting away and finding your friends.

    2. Sad Drunk

    sad drunk

      Alcohol can do funny things to people and one of the most common is to make them sad—bringing about Type 2, the Sad Drunk—which is never fun for either the inebriated or those around them. We’ve all seen someone like that at a party: maybe they’ve just been dumped, maybe they’ve had a crappy day at work. Who knows, but add all this to alcohol and the chances are that you’ll be confronted with a crying, sobbing, sullen drunk person whose life is a nadir of joy and happiness at the moment in time and who are kind of a bummer to be around at a party.

      Tip for dealing with them? Largely, I’d say be nice to them. Keep them positive and find them some people to hang out with if they’re on their own and then move on. Keep an eye on them if you can.

      3. Reckless Drunk

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      heady drunk

        Oh God, the Reckless Drunk. The guy who has a few tequila shots and decides he’s Superman, Criss Angel and Tony Hawk all in one. Chances are he’ll be sliding down the bannisters, doing ridiculously stupid amounts of booze in the kitchen, or deciding to something so dumb that it makes your heart drop into your stomach at the very thought of it.

        Tip for dealing with them? Take his toys away. If he’s planning to skate his way down the stairs, hide the skateboard for a few hours with the help of a couple of friends. It might cut into your evening a bit, but let’s face it—it’s nothing compared to having the party interrupted by a visit to the ER. The reckless drunk will sulk, but get over it super-quickly. No harm, no foul, and all that.

        4. Philosophical Drunk

        Philosophical drunk

          You know this kind of drunk: three hours into the party, while most people are trying successfully or unsuccessfully to attract someone of their preferred gender, the Philosophical Drunk will be found discussing the big topics. Life, death, their favourite meal at the Olive Garden. Turns out that when they get a little bit of liquor in their system, they become Jean-Paul Sartre with a beanie hat.

          Tip for dealing with them? There are two options to go with: A) act stupid or drunk in their vicinity (it’ll make them dismiss you as a potential debating partner), or B) if you’re cornered by the Philosophical Drunk, throw him or her for a loop with a back-up question that’ll give them enough pause for thought to make your escape and leave them still contemplating.

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          5. DJ Drunk

          dj drunk

            There’s not enough money in the world to make any of us dance to a song we truly hate, but give us a heavy dose of alcohol and a lowering of personal taste and social inhibition and you’ll have a bunch of people leering and doing “Sexy and I Know It”. The person in charge for inducing these wannabe dancing heroes is The DJ Drunk. The kind who commandeers the Spotify playlist all evening and lines up every kind of disparate genre. There’s nothing wrong with getting your groove onto some alt-indie tunes or some big and bold pop, but it’s so jarring when they switch from one to the other and sometimes don’t even finish playing the song. A DJ Drunk who is possessive of the music can ruin an evening.

            Tip for dealing with them? If you want to regain control of the music, encourage the DJ Drunk to dance. After all, they’ve picked the music, they’re most likely to actually like the music that’s being played. Get them on the dancefloor, let them shake their groove thing, and get someone else to take control of the music.

            6. Sleazy Drunk

            sleazy drunk

              Say hello to the Sleazy Drunk. Otherwise known as the kind of guy or girl who becomes very sleazy and inappropriate when they’re drunk, with lascivious comments and half-attempted gropes; the creepy, horrible side to those people who normally wouldn’t dare consider grinding up against a complete stranger no matter how inappropriate or unwanted their attentions are. The Sleazy Drunk can sometimes be an exaggeration of the generally kind of sleazy person you might run into—the only difference being that now they can blame alcohol for their attempts and indiscretions. Nice.

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              Tip for dealing with them? If you’re stuck being chatted up by the Sleazy Drunk, the old “my friend is calling me” line is a great trick to get out of Dodge. Other ways to get out include asking them if they want a drink and going to the kitchen, or just busting out a big fat lie if you’ve never met this guy and probably will never do so again. I personally go with the “I’m dating someone” line, but use your discretion as to what lie you choose to use.

              7. Sober Drunk

              sober drunk

                Last but most certainly not least is the Sober Drunk. While the Sober Drunk might seem to be a bit of a contradiction in words, they’re certainly their own special kind of drunk; the kind that comes from hours of drinking and inebriation when they gain moments of clarity and insight. Why is this such a bad thing? In theory it’s not, but let’s face the facts that sometimes it’s the unwanted or unspoken truths that come tumbling out when we lose our mouth-to-brain filter. The Sober Drunk will realise that they don’t actually like any of their friends and will tell them so to devastating effect or reveal that their dalliance with a mysterious someone is actually a significant other of someone at the party and within earshot. Oops.

                Tip for dealing with them? Get them the hell out of the party and run damage control. The minute someone starts talking about so-and-so’s boyfriend, move them away from the main body of the party to somewhere quiet. It doesn’t matter if it’s the garden, the bathroom or an unoccupied bedroom, the last thing you need is the Sober Drunk blabbing in front of someone they’ll regret. If you can’t get them out in time, lie your ass off and leave the party with them. That’s what good friends do.

                Which type of drunk do you run into most? Any type of drunk you hate or love most? Let’s hope not to meet any of the most awful type drunk people any more! (Though it could actually be quite funny!)

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                More by this author

                Chris Haigh

                Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

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                Last Updated on July 12, 2021

                100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

                100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier
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                Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

                By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

                Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

                83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

                  84 write random letter

                    85 use a rubberband

                      86 dorm smell bad

                        87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

                          89 how to waterproof your shoes

                            90 take a picture of the name card

                              91 iron inside out

                                92 old newspaper

                                  93 tumble try shoes

                                    keep a card like this

                                      SONY DSC

                                        94 soap bar

                                          95 make a hole

                                            96 drop the battery

                                              97 use a coozie

                                                98 when taking a picture

                                                  use a clean dust pan

                                                    try a pants hanger

                                                      use your cellphone light

                                                        use a spring from an old pen

                                                          quick and easy iphone speaker

                                                            user binder clips

                                                              wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                                put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                                  clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                                    use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                                      doritos are great for kindling

                                                                        use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                                          use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                                            freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                              use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                                almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                                  sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                                    unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                                      cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                                        remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                                          turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                                            for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                              how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                                tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                                  place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                                    ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                                      use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                                        take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                                          how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                                            put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                              How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                                user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                                  good sandwich guide

                                                                                                                    turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                                      50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                                        the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                                          add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                                            38

                                                                                                                              hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                                stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                                  the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                                    how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                                      the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                                        use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                                          to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                                            user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                              a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                                rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                                  use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                                    50

                                                                                                                                                      51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                                        52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                                          rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                                            kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                              use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                                58

                                                                                                                                                                  59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                                    60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                                      hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                                        Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                                          hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                                            use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                              if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                                keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                                  If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                                    drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                                      use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                                        use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                                          do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                                            when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                              dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                                put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                                  75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                                    use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                      pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                                        78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                                          79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                                            80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                              81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                                82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                        30 Brilliant Camping Hacks I Wish I Knew Earlier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        20 Popular Life Hacks From the Internet Debunked (or Verified)

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