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The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties

The 7 Kinds of Drunk People You’ll Find at Parties

It’s summertime, which means that everyone is spending all the time with the sunshine, warm breezes and the general good mood with other people at parties and fun shindigs. Yes, I’m aware using the word “shindig” makes me sound like I’m in a Joss Whedon TV show or in the early Sixties.

The point is that when the weather’s nice and the music’s playing and the booze is flowing, it’s pretty darn easy to get drunk very quickly. It’s also much easier to find yourself rubbing shoulders with some people whose character is a bit crappy when they’re partaking in alcohol.

I’ve rounded up a list of seven of the worst types of offenders and how to either deal with being caught in close proximity with one of them, or what you should do if your friend becomes one of them over the course of the party. After all, we all have to look out for each other, right?

1. Happy Drunk

happy drunk

    The “best” kind of drunk is the Happy Drunk: they’re happy, they’re joyous, they’re the life of the party. The only reason to hate getting stuck with them and to avoid these drunks like the plague is if you’re sober, or at least not as inebriated as them, they will come across as annoying as hell. Oh, you think life is so fantastic and dancing to the Black Eyed Peas is awesome? Well that song ended an hour ago and since then you’ve been grinding against a doorframe with a look of bliss that became frightening about ten minutes in.

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    Tip for dealing with them? Pretend to be as happy as them and then go make your own party by getting away and finding your friends.

    2. Sad Drunk

    sad drunk

      Alcohol can do funny things to people and one of the most common is to make them sad—bringing about Type 2, the Sad Drunk—which is never fun for either the inebriated or those around them. We’ve all seen someone like that at a party: maybe they’ve just been dumped, maybe they’ve had a crappy day at work. Who knows, but add all this to alcohol and the chances are that you’ll be confronted with a crying, sobbing, sullen drunk person whose life is a nadir of joy and happiness at the moment in time and who are kind of a bummer to be around at a party.

      Tip for dealing with them? Largely, I’d say be nice to them. Keep them positive and find them some people to hang out with if they’re on their own and then move on. Keep an eye on them if you can.

      3. Reckless Drunk

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      heady drunk

        Oh God, the Reckless Drunk. The guy who has a few tequila shots and decides he’s Superman, Criss Angel and Tony Hawk all in one. Chances are he’ll be sliding down the bannisters, doing ridiculously stupid amounts of booze in the kitchen, or deciding to something so dumb that it makes your heart drop into your stomach at the very thought of it.

        Tip for dealing with them? Take his toys away. If he’s planning to skate his way down the stairs, hide the skateboard for a few hours with the help of a couple of friends. It might cut into your evening a bit, but let’s face it—it’s nothing compared to having the party interrupted by a visit to the ER. The reckless drunk will sulk, but get over it super-quickly. No harm, no foul, and all that.

        4. Philosophical Drunk

        Philosophical drunk

          You know this kind of drunk: three hours into the party, while most people are trying successfully or unsuccessfully to attract someone of their preferred gender, the Philosophical Drunk will be found discussing the big topics. Life, death, their favourite meal at the Olive Garden. Turns out that when they get a little bit of liquor in their system, they become Jean-Paul Sartre with a beanie hat.

          Tip for dealing with them? There are two options to go with: A) act stupid or drunk in their vicinity (it’ll make them dismiss you as a potential debating partner), or B) if you’re cornered by the Philosophical Drunk, throw him or her for a loop with a back-up question that’ll give them enough pause for thought to make your escape and leave them still contemplating.

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          5. DJ Drunk

          dj drunk

            There’s not enough money in the world to make any of us dance to a song we truly hate, but give us a heavy dose of alcohol and a lowering of personal taste and social inhibition and you’ll have a bunch of people leering and doing “Sexy and I Know It”. The person in charge for inducing these wannabe dancing heroes is The DJ Drunk. The kind who commandeers the Spotify playlist all evening and lines up every kind of disparate genre. There’s nothing wrong with getting your groove onto some alt-indie tunes or some big and bold pop, but it’s so jarring when they switch from one to the other and sometimes don’t even finish playing the song. A DJ Drunk who is possessive of the music can ruin an evening.

            Tip for dealing with them? If you want to regain control of the music, encourage the DJ Drunk to dance. After all, they’ve picked the music, they’re most likely to actually like the music that’s being played. Get them on the dancefloor, let them shake their groove thing, and get someone else to take control of the music.

            6. Sleazy Drunk

            sleazy drunk

              Say hello to the Sleazy Drunk. Otherwise known as the kind of guy or girl who becomes very sleazy and inappropriate when they’re drunk, with lascivious comments and half-attempted gropes; the creepy, horrible side to those people who normally wouldn’t dare consider grinding up against a complete stranger no matter how inappropriate or unwanted their attentions are. The Sleazy Drunk can sometimes be an exaggeration of the generally kind of sleazy person you might run into—the only difference being that now they can blame alcohol for their attempts and indiscretions. Nice.

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              Tip for dealing with them? If you’re stuck being chatted up by the Sleazy Drunk, the old “my friend is calling me” line is a great trick to get out of Dodge. Other ways to get out include asking them if they want a drink and going to the kitchen, or just busting out a big fat lie if you’ve never met this guy and probably will never do so again. I personally go with the “I’m dating someone” line, but use your discretion as to what lie you choose to use.

              7. Sober Drunk

              sober drunk

                Last but most certainly not least is the Sober Drunk. While the Sober Drunk might seem to be a bit of a contradiction in words, they’re certainly their own special kind of drunk; the kind that comes from hours of drinking and inebriation when they gain moments of clarity and insight. Why is this such a bad thing? In theory it’s not, but let’s face the facts that sometimes it’s the unwanted or unspoken truths that come tumbling out when we lose our mouth-to-brain filter. The Sober Drunk will realise that they don’t actually like any of their friends and will tell them so to devastating effect or reveal that their dalliance with a mysterious someone is actually a significant other of someone at the party and within earshot. Oops.

                Tip for dealing with them? Get them the hell out of the party and run damage control. The minute someone starts talking about so-and-so’s boyfriend, move them away from the main body of the party to somewhere quiet. It doesn’t matter if it’s the garden, the bathroom or an unoccupied bedroom, the last thing you need is the Sober Drunk blabbing in front of someone they’ll regret. If you can’t get them out in time, lie your ass off and leave the party with them. That’s what good friends do.

                Which type of drunk do you run into most? Any type of drunk you hate or love most? Let’s hope not to meet any of the most awful type drunk people any more! (Though it could actually be quite funny!)

                More by this author

                Chris Haigh

                Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

                Don’t Panic! 5 Things To Do When You’ve Messed Up I Hate My Life: 10 Things You Can Do Now to Stop Hating Life 20 Productive Hobbies That Will Make You Smarter and Happier 8 Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship 12 Things Strong, Independent Girls Don’t Do

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                Last Updated on January 21, 2020

                The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

                your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

                  Why You Need a Vision

                  Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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                  How to Create Your Life Vision

                  Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

                  What Do You Want?

                  The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

                  It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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                  Some tips to guide you:

                  • Remember to ask why you want certain things
                  • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
                  • Give yourself permission to dream.
                  • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
                  • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

                  Some questions to start your exploration:

                  • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
                  • What would you like to have more of in your life?
                  • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
                  • What are your secret passions and dreams?
                  • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
                  • What do you want your relationships to be like?
                  • What qualities would you like to develop?
                  • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
                  • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
                  • What would you most like to accomplish?
                  • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

                  It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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                  What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

                  Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

                  A few prompts to get you started:

                  • What will you have accomplished already?
                  • How will you feel about yourself?
                  • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
                  • What does your ideal day look like?
                  • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
                  • What would you be doing?
                  • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
                  • How are you dressed?
                  • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
                  • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
                  • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

                  It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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                  Plan Backwards

                  It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

                  • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
                  • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
                  • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
                  • What important actions would you have had to take?
                  • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
                  • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
                  • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
                  • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
                  • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

                  Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

                  It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

                  Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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