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Be Happy and Stop Being Responsible for These 4 Things

Be Happy and Stop Being Responsible for These 4 Things

Since we were kids, we were taught to be responsible people. We were trained to accept whatever others hand over to us. That is the way to be nice and likeable. As a result, we compromise and accept everything including the things that we don’t really love or want. Stop being responsible for them, follow your heart and lead a joyful life.

1. You are not responsible for making people happy.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Gautama Buddha

Helping people is a wonderful act. But if you don’t feel good after doing it, it’s definitely not the right thing to do. My friend is hardworking and always lends a hand to co-workers in need. She keeps accepting jobs until they are more than what she can bear. In the end, she makes her co-workers happy but she suffers in silence alone. Well, this is quite common as we often feel guilty saying “no” because we don’t want to be mean. But it’s even worse if you neglect to take care of yourself because then you can’t do your own job. Help, share and love, but with a healthy limit.

2. You are not responsible for with others’ labels.

“Stop with the labels… because we are not jam jars; we are extraordinary, different, wonderful people.” – Caroline Casey

Someone call you “ugly fatty” just because you are not skinny and thin? Well, don’t fall into the trap of believing in what they said. You are never ever the cause of their bullying. You are not responsible for that and you don’t have to conform to their ignorance. Instead, your job is just to walk away from the jokers and disregard their abusive labels. Remember, you are only in charge of building a happy, fulfilling life for yourself. It’s not going to hurt you if you refuse to accept the nuisance. The ones who try to insult you will only insult themselves by revealing how shallow-minded they are.

3. You are not responsible for living within others’ limitations.

“If someone tells you, “You can’t” They really mean, “I can’t.” – Sean Stephenson

How often do you hear people say: “No, it’s impossible.” or “Be realistic, you’re not going to succeed and you’ll end up being broke.”, “I don’t know much about it but I’m 100 percent sure it won’t work.” It’s frustrating when you get all sorts of unsupportive feedbacks from the naysayers. But you are not supposed to be controlled by their limitations. They may be lack of abilities, potentials or visions, but those are their barriers, not yours. Don’t let them stop you from doing what you love, or pursuing your dream.

4. You are not responsible for embracing others’ negativity.

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” – Goi Nasu

“This is so wrong!”, “That is very terrible!”, do you recognize these Ms./Mr. Complainer? Well, my aunt is one. I still remembered how she nagged my cousin when he forgot to buy pet food. They still had some snacks which could last for a day, but my aunt kept scolding him for hours as though he had committed a crime. If you know someone like this, stay away so you will not drown in their negativity. They just like to grumble and nothing ever seems right to them. In long terms, their behaviour may create anxiety and depressive symptoms to others. Remember, you are not obliged to follow their rhythm. Turn off the noise. Give yourself peace of mind.

Now you recognize those unnecessary responsibilities, dump them all and pursue your happiness!

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Featured photo credit: Freedom by Josef Grunig via flic.kr

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Noel

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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