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Be Happy and Stop Being Responsible for These 4 Things

Be Happy and Stop Being Responsible for These 4 Things

Since we were kids, we were taught to be responsible people. We were trained to accept whatever others hand over to us. That is the way to be nice and likeable. As a result, we compromise and accept everything including the things that we don’t really love or want. Stop being responsible for them, follow your heart and lead a joyful life.

1. You are not responsible for making people happy.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Gautama Buddha

Helping people is a wonderful act. But if you don’t feel good after doing it, it’s definitely not the right thing to do. My friend is hardworking and always lends a hand to co-workers in need. She keeps accepting jobs until they are more than what she can bear. In the end, she makes her co-workers happy but she suffers in silence alone. Well, this is quite common as we often feel guilty saying “no” because we don’t want to be mean. But it’s even worse if you neglect to take care of yourself because then you can’t do your own job. Help, share and love, but with a healthy limit.

2. You are not responsible for with others’ labels.

“Stop with the labels… because we are not jam jars; we are extraordinary, different, wonderful people.” – Caroline Casey

Someone call you “ugly fatty” just because you are not skinny and thin? Well, don’t fall into the trap of believing in what they said. You are never ever the cause of their bullying. You are not responsible for that and you don’t have to conform to their ignorance. Instead, your job is just to walk away from the jokers and disregard their abusive labels. Remember, you are only in charge of building a happy, fulfilling life for yourself. It’s not going to hurt you if you refuse to accept the nuisance. The ones who try to insult you will only insult themselves by revealing how shallow-minded they are.

3. You are not responsible for living within others’ limitations.

“If someone tells you, “You can’t” They really mean, “I can’t.” – Sean Stephenson

How often do you hear people say: “No, it’s impossible.” or “Be realistic, you’re not going to succeed and you’ll end up being broke.”, “I don’t know much about it but I’m 100 percent sure it won’t work.” It’s frustrating when you get all sorts of unsupportive feedbacks from the naysayers. But you are not supposed to be controlled by their limitations. They may be lack of abilities, potentials or visions, but those are their barriers, not yours. Don’t let them stop you from doing what you love, or pursuing your dream.

4. You are not responsible for embracing others’ negativity.

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” – Goi Nasu

“This is so wrong!”, “That is very terrible!”, do you recognize these Ms./Mr. Complainer? Well, my aunt is one. I still remembered how she nagged my cousin when he forgot to buy pet food. They still had some snacks which could last for a day, but my aunt kept scolding him for hours as though he had committed a crime. If you know someone like this, stay away so you will not drown in their negativity. They just like to grumble and nothing ever seems right to them. In long terms, their behaviour may create anxiety and depressive symptoms to others. Remember, you are not obliged to follow their rhythm. Turn off the noise. Give yourself peace of mind.

Now you recognize those unnecessary responsibilities, dump them all and pursue your happiness!

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Featured photo credit: Freedom by Josef Grunig via flic.kr

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Noel

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

How to Cultivate Continuous Learning to Stay Competitive

How to Cultivate Continuous Learning to Stay Competitive

Assuming the public school system didn’t crush your soul, learning is a great activity. It expands your viewpoint. It gives you new knowledge you can use to improve your life. It is important for your personal growth. Even if you discount the worldly benefits, the act of learning can be a source of enjoyment.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” — Mark Twain

But in a busy world, it can often be hard to fit in time to learn anything that isn’t essential. The only things learned are those that need to be. Everything beyond that is considered frivolous. Even those who do appreciate the practice of lifelong learning, can find it difficult to make the effort.

Here are some tips for installing the habit of continuous learning:

1. Always Have a Book

It doesn’t matter if it takes you a year or a week to read a book. Always strive to have a book that you are reading through, and take it with you so you can read it when you have time.

Just by shaving off a few minutes in-between activities in my day I can read about a book per week. That’s at least fifty each year.

2. Keep a “To-Learn” List

We all have to-do lists. These are the tasks we need to accomplish. Try to also have a “to-learn” list. On it you can write ideas for new areas of study.

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Maybe you would like to take up a new language, learn a skill or read the collective works of Shakespeare. Whatever motivates you, write it down.

3. Get More Intellectual Friends

Start spending more time with people who think. Not just people who are smart, but people who actually invest much of their time in learning new skills. Their habits will rub off on you.

Even better, they will probably share some of their knowledge with you.

4. Guided Thinking

Albert Einstein once said,

“Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.”

Simply studying the wisdom of others isn’t enough, you have to think through ideas yourself. Spend time journaling, meditating or contemplating over ideas you have learned.

5. Put it Into Practice

Skill based learning is useless if it isn’t applied. Reading a book on C++ isn’t the same thing as writing a program. Studying painting isn’t the same as picking up a brush.

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If your knowledge can be applied, put it into practice.

In this information age, we’re all exposed to a lot of information, it’s important to re-learn how to learn so as to put the knowledge into practice.

6. Teach Others

You learn what you teach. If you have an outlet of communicating ideas to others, you are more likely to solidify that learning.

Start a blog, mentor someone or even discuss ideas with a friend.

7. Clean Your Input

Some forms of learning are easy to digest, but often lack substance.

I make a point of regularly cleaning out my feed reader for blogs I subscribe to. Great blogs can be a powerful source of new ideas. But every few months, I realize I’m collecting posts from blogs that I am simply skimming.

Every few months, purify your input to save time and focus on what counts.

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8. Learn in Groups

Lifelong learning doesn’t mean condemning yourself to a stack of dusty textbooks. Join organizations that teach skills.

Workshops and group learning events can make educating yourself a fun, social experience.

9. Unlearn Assumptions

You can’t add water to a full cup. I always try to maintain a distance away from any idea. Too many convictions simply mean too few paths for new ideas.

Actively seek out information that contradicts your worldview.

Our minds can’t be trusted, but this is what we can do about it to be wiser.

10. Find Jobs that Encourage Learning

Pick a career that encourages continual learning. If you are in a job that doesn’t have much intellectual freedom, consider switching to one that does.

Don’t spend forty hours of your week in a job that doesn’t challenge you.

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11. Start a Project

Set out to do something you don’t know how. Forced learning in this way can be fun and challenging.

If you don’t know anything about computers, try building one. If you consider yourself a horrible artist, try a painting.

12. Follow Your Intuition

Lifelong learning is like wandering through the wilderness. You can’t be sure what to expect and there isn’t always an end goal in mind.

Letting your intuition guide you can make self-education more enjoyable. Most of our lives have been broken down to completely logical decisions, that making choices on a whim has been stamped out.

13. The Morning Fifteen

Productive people always wake up early. Use the first fifteen minutes of your morning as a period for education.

If you find yourself too groggy, you might want to wait a short time. Just don’t put it off later in the day where urgent activities will push it out of the way.

14. Reap the Rewards

Learn information you can use. Understanding the basics of programming allows me to handle projects that other people would require outside help. Meeting a situation that makes use of your educational efforts can be a source of pride.

15. Make Learning a Priority

Few external forces are going to persuade you to learn. The desire has to come from within. Once you decide you want to make lifelong learning a habit, it is up to you to make it a priority in your life.

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Featured photo credit: Paul Schafer via unsplash.com

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