Since we were kids, we were taught to be responsible people. We were trained to accept whatever others hand over to us. That is the way to be nice and likeable. As a result, we compromise and accept everything including the things that we don’t really love or want. Stop being responsible for them, follow your heart and lead a joyful life.
1. You are not responsible for making people happy.
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Gautama Buddha
Helping people is a wonderful act. But if you don’t feel good after doing it, it’s definitely not the right thing to do. My friend is hardworking and always lends a hand to co-workers in need. She keeps accepting jobs until they are more than what she can bear. In the end, she makes her co-workers happy but she suffers in silence alone. Well, this is quite common as we often feel guilty saying “no” because we don’t want to be mean. But it’s even worse if you neglect to take care of yourself because then you can’t do your own job. Help, share and love, but with a healthy limit.
2. You are not responsible for with others’ labels.
“Stop with the labels… because we are not jam jars; we are extraordinary, different, wonderful people.” – Caroline Casey
Someone call you “ugly fatty” just because you are not skinny and thin? Well, don’t fall into the trap of believing in what they said. You are never ever the cause of their bullying. You are not responsible for that and you don’t have to conform to their ignorance. Instead, your job is just to walk away from the jokers and disregard their abusive labels. Remember, you are only in charge of building a happy, fulfilling life for yourself. It’s not going to hurt you if you refuse to accept the nuisance. The ones who try to insult you will only insult themselves by revealing how shallow-minded they are.
3. You are not responsible for living within others’ limitations.
“If someone tells you, “You can’t” They really mean, “I can’t.” – Sean Stephenson
How often do you hear people say: “No, it’s impossible.” or “Be realistic, you’re not going to succeed and you’ll end up being broke.”, “I don’t know much about it but I’m 100 percent sure it won’t work.” It’s frustrating when you get all sorts of unsupportive feedbacks from the naysayers. But you are not supposed to be controlled by their limitations. They may be lack of abilities, potentials or visions, but those are their barriers, not yours. Don’t let them stop you from doing what you love, or pursuing your dream.
4. You are not responsible for embracing others’ negativity.
“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” – Goi Nasu
“This is so wrong!”, “That is very terrible!”, do you recognize these Ms./Mr. Complainer? Well, my aunt is one. I still remembered how she nagged my cousin when he forgot to buy pet food. They still had some snacks which could last for a day, but my aunt kept scolding him for hours as though he had committed a crime. If you know someone like this, stay away so you will not drown in their negativity. They just like to grumble and nothing ever seems right to them. In long terms, their behaviour may create anxiety and depressive symptoms to others. Remember, you are not obliged to follow their rhythm. Turn off the noise. Give yourself peace of mind.
Now you recognize those unnecessary responsibilities, dump them all and pursue your happiness!
Featured photo credit: Freedom by Josef Grunig via flic.kr