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5 Shocking Ways Your Lifestyle Can Determine Your Success

5 Shocking Ways Your Lifestyle Can Determine Your Success

The road to success is supposed to be paved by long, sleepless nights, paying your dues, and utter burnout, right? There’s nothing more cliché than overstressed corporate climbers and overwhelmed entrepreneurs.

Well, I’ve got news for you: Burnout isn’t just bad for your health; it’s bad for business, too.

How you live your lifestyle is one of the strongest indicators of future success. Everything from how you spend your leisure time to how you view your current state can impact your success. Change your lifestyle and you might just be on the fast track to success.

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Here are five ways that your lifestyle can actually determine your success.

1. The way you daydream sets up your future.

Your future is an uncharted territory. If you’re going to be successful, you’re going to need to draw a map. Successful people have a clear vision of exactly what they want success to look like, taste like, feel like, including what kind of business they want to run, how often they want to work, who they want to associate with, where they vacation, how often exercise, and how much self-esteem they have. Start imagining the life you want to live, and you’ll have a step-by-step guide for how to get there.

2. You eat, sleep, and breathe your way to success.

Success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If you’re not sleeping enough and living off Cheetos, you’re probably not going to have the energy to go after your dreams. Successful people incorporate success into every aspect of their lives, including nutrition, exercise, sleep, relationships, and self-care. If you start treating yourself like a successful person now, you’re setting yourself up for long-term success.

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3. The boundaries you set are the blueprint for your life.

Boundaries are simply the way you teach people how to treat you. From the way you accept to be treated, to the amount you are paid, to the hours you’re willing to work, boundaries are the rules you define for your life. If you let people walk all over you today, that’s probably not going to change, no matter how “successful” you become.

4. You think of yourself as successful as you’re going to be.

The world will generally take you as seriously as you take yourself. Nobody batted an eye at Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs when they first start their companies. But, if take yourself seriously and consistently put in the actions necessary to keep moving forward, eventually you’ll become as successful as you decide to be.

5. At the end of the day, it’s about how much enjoyment you can stand.

Success isn’t really about how much you can achieve; it’s more about how much you can enjoy. If you allow yourself to cherish moments of success without constantly thinking, “What’s the next thing?” then you’re already more than halfway there. Success follows happiness. So, if you can hold on to the joy of all that you’ve accomplished, you’ll attract a lot more success into your life than the guy or gal who’s burnt out, striving to keep doing more.

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Success is just as much an internal mindset as it is an external experience. When you get the internal stuff together and start treating yourself like a successful person, you welcome other people to treat you successfully as well.

When we get down to it, success isn’t just the number of people who know your name or the the amount in your bank account; success is consciously designing a life that meets your goals and vision. It’s about building the exact lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of, regardless of money or fame.

And, once you get there, the rest is just icing on the cake. Because success always follows success.

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Featured photo credit: Pic Jumbo via picjumbo.com

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Mike Iamele

Mike Iamele is an author, wellness coach, and clinical herbalist who specializes in helping people define and create success on their own terms.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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