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11 Reasons Why You Should Admire Naughty Kids

11 Reasons Why You Should Admire Naughty Kids

They can be loud, obnoxious and insistent on getting their own way. Or they are sly, devious and untrustworthy. Naughty kids are worth avoiding.

Or are they?

While exhausted parents may dream of the day their kids become beautifully behaved, would you really want Stepford Kids?  Would you not miss out on some of the most determined, entrepreneurial and sensitive people you’ll have the opportunity to meet.

And think about it. Were you always perfectly behaved when you were a kid? Or even now? Do you sometimes still get angry, have a tantrum or dig your heels in? Do you ever give up when the going gets tough or refuse to eat food that you think looks disgusting? Are you ever rude or impatient?

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These kids are normal human beings, just like you. And some of those “naughty” traits might just turn out to be early signs of leadership when they are older. Here’s how:

1. They are independent

All too often, ‘naughty’ is a word we use for kids who think for themselves. While conformity is admired at school, our greatest entrepreneurs, scientists and artists do things their own way. Often, the qualities of these kids is not appreciated until much later in life, when their ability to think for themselves and make things happen drives their success. Think of Richard Branson, Albert Einsten and Lady Gaga, all of whom ‘failed’ at school.

2. They are creative

Naughty kids don’t just think for themselves, they often think differently from others. Their creativity cannot be curbed. While adults get told to ‘think out of the box’ these kids have never been in the box in the first place.

3. They are sensitive

Often the most sensitive kids are the ones who are written off as naughty. They can’t stand pain or injustice, and so kick off into a tantrum when they see it. In little children, this is often on their own behalf. As they grow up, and their ability to empathize develops, their sensitivity can lead to deep acts of generosity towards others in need.

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4. They have conviction

Great world-changing leaders, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Aung Sang Suu Kyi, could not be described as easy people. Awkward and opinionated may be a fairer description. But they lived with conviction and determination, fighting injustice despite imprisonment and persecution, and toppled despotic regimes as a result. It’s not quite as inspiring when the ‘despotic regime’ is actually a parent wanting to get their child to eat their vegetables!

5. They are strong

Human beings are social animals. Having the willpower to stand up to social pressures is impressive. Kids who go against the grain, dressing differently, following their own interests and speaking their mind are demonstrating courage and strength. In their teen years, when separation from parental control is normal, being downright rude and obnoxious can be a way of subconsciously driving that separation, while proving to the kids that they still have the safety of their parents love.

6. They want to be understood

Kids often get loud or have a tantrum when they feel disrespected or unheard. Although this may not be the most constructive way to get their point across, these kids have found a way to communicate their wants, something many of us have subsumed to the demands of other people (including those same kids!). Often, children will calm down if they feel you’ve understood them, even if the answer is still “no.”

7. They say what is on their mind

We’ve all had those moments when a child has said exactly what they are thinking, probably at the top of their voices. They tell relatives when they don’t like the expensive present they’ve been given. They point and stare at people with visible disabilities.  Rude though these comments may be, your kid’s directness is often meant as honesty without malice. They don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. They are curious, rather than judgmental, about people who are different. What is more, they will speak the truths that everyone else is thinking but no-one else has the honesty to voice.

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8. They have energy

Although they may seem far more angelic when they sleep, your kid’s energy is admirable. It is the energy of athletes, adventurers and leaders. Like puppies, your kids may need to be given opportunities (both physical and mental) to burn off their energy. That exercise will develop their capacity and their ability to control themselves.

9. They are ambitious

Have you ever had a picture in your head, but when you try to draw it, it looks nothing like your ideal? Your kids haven’t yet learned that this is normal. They haven’t yet learned to cope with the frustration. The resulting tantrum is an expression of the gap between the quality of their original vision and their inability to perfectly realize that vision. It demonstrates ambition and discernment.

10. They are scientists

Kids (like the rest of us) learn by doing. They are great problem solvers, full of cunning and resourcefulness. They learn by trying something and seeing what happens. Naughty kids are just trying stuff out. Loud, destructive, difficult stuff, perhaps. But that is how they learn what works and what doesn’t. And that is how they also discover that you, their parents, still love them, even if they are naughty. Because…

11. They are lovable

Your kids are a part of you, while also being completely themselves. One reason it feels tough when they are naughty is that you love them so much. You want them to succeed. You want them to be appreciated by others. You want them to be happy.

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So remember, being good all the time would only hold them back. And you wouldn’t want that, would you?

Featured photo credit: Philip Dean via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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