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You’ve Been Tolerating These 20 Stressful Things Too Many times, Even Though You Don’t Feel like You Are

You’ve Been Tolerating These 20 Stressful Things Too Many times, Even Though You Don’t Feel like You Are

We all go through our day-to-day lives tolerating things that stress us out. To make things worse, we have been doing this for so long, that we don’t even notice anymore. Stress is man-made, and we can make changes in our lives to live a more stress-free life, and a happier one at that. Here is a list of 20 things you’ve been tolerating for too long, and some helpful solutions to take away the stress they have been causing.

1. Tolerating comparing yourself to others.

It’s in our nature to look at what others have and compare it to what we have. This causes unneeded stress and can even make you feel like you aren’t as good as the other person. This is simply not true, and the sooner you can stop doing this the better. Instead, compare yourself to you. Look at who you were just a few years ago, and then look at where you are now. Use yourself as both motivation and inspiration to achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

2. Tolerating an unhealthy lifestyle.

It looks as though the healthy kick is here to stay, so jump on it! Being unhealthy leads to a shorter lifespan, and can lead to serious health risks. An unhealthy lifestyle can also cause extreme stress and lowered self confidence. Instead of continuing with an unhealthy lifestyle, take the jump and start now. If you keep waiting to get healthy it will only get harder. Making a serious lifestyle change can be intimidating and challenging, but it’s okay to take small steps and ask for help. As long as you are taking steps forward you are heading in the right direction.

3. Tolerating dwelling on the past.

It’s hard not to think about things that happened in the past, and what you could have done differently. Which is why you haven’t noticed that you have been tolerating this stressful act for far too long. Dwelling on the past can end up holding you back from current experiences. Instead, let go of your past, and stop living there. Focus on the now and the future. These are the things that you still have control over. What’s done is done, and you can’t go back and change it. Learn from your past experiences, but don’t dwell on them.

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4. Tolerating keeping people around who aren’t real friends.

Friends are the ones we turn to in times of joy and trouble. That’s why it’s important to have true friends in your life. At some point you will have to end a friendship because it doesn’t contribute anything to your life anymore. Sometimes we keep people around us for longer than we should. Don’t tolerate people who cause more stress than relief in your life. Instead, get rid of the drama in your circle. Focus on spending more time with those who make you a better person, and who contribute to your life in positive ways. You don’t need a million friends, as long as you have two or three true ones. Keeping only those around that make you happy will rid you of unnecessary stress.

5. Tolerating dishonesty.

Life is too short to put up with anything other than the truth. Knowing someone is being dishonest with you is one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s also important to stop tolerating dishonesty from yourself. Why bother lying to yourself anyways? Instead, tell the truth and only accept the truth from others. It might cause more conflict than telling a lie, but in the end your conscience will be clear. Relieving you from stress you put on yourself. Don’t just accept someones dishonesty either, hold others to your standards as well.

6. Tolerating negativity.

Whether it’s personally, or those around you—do not tolerate negative vibes. Negativity can change your overall mood, ruin experiences and opportunities, and hurt relationships. Instead, stay positive. Easier said than done, right? Wrong. When you start to focus on the positive side of things it becomes more of a normal habit. Forming this habit will help you stop being negative, and get rid of the negativity in your life. This will lead to a happier, less stressful lifestyle.

7. Tolerating not appreciating what you have.

Sometimes we forget to cherish what’s in front of us. We get caught up in what’s going to happen, that we forget to live in the moment. It’s easy to think about how things could be, or how we want things to be. We forget to stop and smell the roses. Instead of always rushing for more, take some time each day to focus on what you have now. When you take time to step back and appreciate everything that’s in your life, it’s a good feeling.

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8. Tolerating being focused on your future for happiness.

Life can be stressful when you are constantly telling yourself that everything will be better tomorrow. You miss out on being happy today when you push that happiness off in hopes of tomorrow. Some days are long and stressful, and we just want them to end. But hoping tomorrow will be better takes so much away from today. Instead, think about what you can do today to make things better. It’s not always an easy fix, but putting it off until tomorrow doesn’t help either. We all strive to be happy, so don’t push making yourself happier off until tomorrow.

9. Tolerating procrastination.

Oh how well some of us know procrastination. Myself included. There’s nothing more stressful than having a deadline come up and not being 100% sure you will make it. Instead of putting things off until the last second, as crazy as it sounds, give yourself more time to accomplish a task. When you procrastinate you tend to set aside a certain amount of time to complete a project. It’s usually the exact amount of time you believe you will need—no more—no less. Old habits die hard, but when you start to give yourself more time, you will start to wonder how you ever though procrastination was a good idea.

10. Tolerating letting your previous failures define you.

Everyone has gone through rejection or failure at one point or another in life. It can be difficult to move forward once that happens. Sometimes you can get stuck and focus too much on your failures, that you forget to look at your success. Instead, don’t let your failures define who you are. Take your failures and really learn from them. Use them as a guide to better yourself, or to succeed in something you once failed at.

11. Tolerating not being true to yourself.

Who knows you better than yourself? No one, so don’t stray from who you are and what you believe in. When you tolerate doing things or acting in ways that aren’t true to you it can cause extreme stress. Instead, when situations arise that could put you in a position to change who you are, don’t follow along. Stand up for who you are and respect yourself. Staying true to yourself will take a world of stress off of you. You won’t have to wonder if what you are doing is right or wrong, because you will already know the answer.

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12. Tolerating holding onto grudges.

It takes a lot of negative energy to hold onto a grudge. A grudge will get you worked up and stressed out before anyone else. You might not always be able to forget an incident, but you have full control over how it affects you. Instead of holding onto a grudge, forgive the feelings you have about the grudge. We can’t always forgive and forget, but we can move on. Move forward in your life and leave that negative energy behind you. You will feel a weight lifted from you, and acceptance is easier to handle than grudge.

13. Tolerating excuses.

But I can’t… Yes you can. When we don’t want to do something or want to get out of a situation we make excuses. What you have stopped noticing is how much stress coming up with an excuse can cause. Instead of coming up with an excuse, just be honest. Say what’s real. Own up to your choices, actions, or feelings and cut out the excuses. You will find that life is so much easier without excuses.

14. Tolerating believing in perfect.

Perfect doesn’t exist. Putting too much emphasis on wanting something or someone to be perfect can not only be stressful, but it can take away from your experiences in life. It’s ok for things not to be perfect, that’s what makes life so beautiful. Instead, accept things for what they are, and people for who they are. You might just find that perfect wasn’t what you were looking for after all.

15. Tolerating self-loathing thoughts.

You are the one who has to live with who you are. Sometimes we aren’t always happy with the choices we have made, or the things we have done. However, putting ourself down only hurts us, and prevents us from moving forward. Instead of allowing yourself to have these kinds of thoughts, focus on the vision of who you are. Focus on the good in yourself, and leave out the negative. Build yourself up instead of putting yourself down.

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16. Tolerating keeping a job you hate.

Waking up every morning and dreading going to work puts unnecessary stress on you. Each and every day. We spend more time at work than anywhere else, so you shouldn’t hate what you do. Instead, figure out something that you truly enjoy doing. Keep searching for a job you can see yourself at until you find one. Times are tight, so you might have to stay at your current job longer than you would like. That should be your driver to find a new job in which you would enjoy.

17. Tolerating being financially uneducated.

Money makes the world go round, and it can make your head spin too. Stressing out about money is one of the top problems that keep people up at night. A lot of the headache with your finances can come from not understanding your situation. Instead of continuing down the same path, get yourself educated. Do some of your own research, get your credit score figured out, talk to a financial planner, do whatever you have to do to get financially educated. Put yourself on a new path.

18. Tolerating empty complaints.

There’s a difference between venting and complaining. Empty complains get absolutely nothing accomplished, and bring out negativity. Complaining about something wont make it better. Instead, do something about it. Take action and change whatever it is you are currently complaining about. Being annoyed won’t get you far, but doing something it will.

19. Tolerating feeling guilty for not being able to complete everything.

We all have enough pressure in our lives as it is. Putting more pressure on yourself because you feel guilty won’t help get things done. Sometimes we commit to too much, and end up making things worse on ourselves. Instead, understand that everyone, even you, has their limits. You can’t possibly be in three places at the same time—and that’s okay! Don’t commit to something that you know is a stretch for you to fit in. Either say no, and maybe suggest who else could be counted on, or ask for help. Either way, don’t feel guilty for only being one person.

20. Tolerating other people’s opinion of you.

How many times have you second guessed something you were wearing or doing or saying, all because you were worried about someone else’s opinion of you? If you are like most people, at some point in your life you probably did this more times than you can remember. Instead of caring so much about other people’s opinion of you, just be you! No second guessing, no overthinking, no changing into something you don’t like- just going with what you feel is right. Take control of your own life and make decisions for yourself.

Featured photo credit: Teenage girl depression – lost love via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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