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You’ve Been Tolerating These 20 Stressful Things Too Many times, Even Though You Don’t Feel like You Are

You’ve Been Tolerating These 20 Stressful Things Too Many times, Even Though You Don’t Feel like You Are

We all go through our day-to-day lives tolerating things that stress us out. To make things worse, we have been doing this for so long, that we don’t even notice anymore. Stress is man-made, and we can make changes in our lives to live a more stress-free life, and a happier one at that. Here is a list of 20 things you’ve been tolerating for too long, and some helpful solutions to take away the stress they have been causing.

1. Tolerating comparing yourself to others.

It’s in our nature to look at what others have and compare it to what we have. This causes unneeded stress and can even make you feel like you aren’t as good as the other person. This is simply not true, and the sooner you can stop doing this the better. Instead, compare yourself to you. Look at who you were just a few years ago, and then look at where you are now. Use yourself as both motivation and inspiration to achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

2. Tolerating an unhealthy lifestyle.

It looks as though the healthy kick is here to stay, so jump on it! Being unhealthy leads to a shorter lifespan, and can lead to serious health risks. An unhealthy lifestyle can also cause extreme stress and lowered self confidence. Instead of continuing with an unhealthy lifestyle, take the jump and start now. If you keep waiting to get healthy it will only get harder. Making a serious lifestyle change can be intimidating and challenging, but it’s okay to take small steps and ask for help. As long as you are taking steps forward you are heading in the right direction.

3. Tolerating dwelling on the past.

It’s hard not to think about things that happened in the past, and what you could have done differently. Which is why you haven’t noticed that you have been tolerating this stressful act for far too long. Dwelling on the past can end up holding you back from current experiences. Instead, let go of your past, and stop living there. Focus on the now and the future. These are the things that you still have control over. What’s done is done, and you can’t go back and change it. Learn from your past experiences, but don’t dwell on them.

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4. Tolerating keeping people around who aren’t real friends.

Friends are the ones we turn to in times of joy and trouble. That’s why it’s important to have true friends in your life. At some point you will have to end a friendship because it doesn’t contribute anything to your life anymore. Sometimes we keep people around us for longer than we should. Don’t tolerate people who cause more stress than relief in your life. Instead, get rid of the drama in your circle. Focus on spending more time with those who make you a better person, and who contribute to your life in positive ways. You don’t need a million friends, as long as you have two or three true ones. Keeping only those around that make you happy will rid you of unnecessary stress.

5. Tolerating dishonesty.

Life is too short to put up with anything other than the truth. Knowing someone is being dishonest with you is one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s also important to stop tolerating dishonesty from yourself. Why bother lying to yourself anyways? Instead, tell the truth and only accept the truth from others. It might cause more conflict than telling a lie, but in the end your conscience will be clear. Relieving you from stress you put on yourself. Don’t just accept someones dishonesty either, hold others to your standards as well.

6. Tolerating negativity.

Whether it’s personally, or those around you—do not tolerate negative vibes. Negativity can change your overall mood, ruin experiences and opportunities, and hurt relationships. Instead, stay positive. Easier said than done, right? Wrong. When you start to focus on the positive side of things it becomes more of a normal habit. Forming this habit will help you stop being negative, and get rid of the negativity in your life. This will lead to a happier, less stressful lifestyle.

7. Tolerating not appreciating what you have.

Sometimes we forget to cherish what’s in front of us. We get caught up in what’s going to happen, that we forget to live in the moment. It’s easy to think about how things could be, or how we want things to be. We forget to stop and smell the roses. Instead of always rushing for more, take some time each day to focus on what you have now. When you take time to step back and appreciate everything that’s in your life, it’s a good feeling.

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8. Tolerating being focused on your future for happiness.

Life can be stressful when you are constantly telling yourself that everything will be better tomorrow. You miss out on being happy today when you push that happiness off in hopes of tomorrow. Some days are long and stressful, and we just want them to end. But hoping tomorrow will be better takes so much away from today. Instead, think about what you can do today to make things better. It’s not always an easy fix, but putting it off until tomorrow doesn’t help either. We all strive to be happy, so don’t push making yourself happier off until tomorrow.

9. Tolerating procrastination.

Oh how well some of us know procrastination. Myself included. There’s nothing more stressful than having a deadline come up and not being 100% sure you will make it. Instead of putting things off until the last second, as crazy as it sounds, give yourself more time to accomplish a task. When you procrastinate you tend to set aside a certain amount of time to complete a project. It’s usually the exact amount of time you believe you will need—no more—no less. Old habits die hard, but when you start to give yourself more time, you will start to wonder how you ever though procrastination was a good idea.

10. Tolerating letting your previous failures define you.

Everyone has gone through rejection or failure at one point or another in life. It can be difficult to move forward once that happens. Sometimes you can get stuck and focus too much on your failures, that you forget to look at your success. Instead, don’t let your failures define who you are. Take your failures and really learn from them. Use them as a guide to better yourself, or to succeed in something you once failed at.

11. Tolerating not being true to yourself.

Who knows you better than yourself? No one, so don’t stray from who you are and what you believe in. When you tolerate doing things or acting in ways that aren’t true to you it can cause extreme stress. Instead, when situations arise that could put you in a position to change who you are, don’t follow along. Stand up for who you are and respect yourself. Staying true to yourself will take a world of stress off of you. You won’t have to wonder if what you are doing is right or wrong, because you will already know the answer.

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12. Tolerating holding onto grudges.

It takes a lot of negative energy to hold onto a grudge. A grudge will get you worked up and stressed out before anyone else. You might not always be able to forget an incident, but you have full control over how it affects you. Instead of holding onto a grudge, forgive the feelings you have about the grudge. We can’t always forgive and forget, but we can move on. Move forward in your life and leave that negative energy behind you. You will feel a weight lifted from you, and acceptance is easier to handle than grudge.

13. Tolerating excuses.

But I can’t… Yes you can. When we don’t want to do something or want to get out of a situation we make excuses. What you have stopped noticing is how much stress coming up with an excuse can cause. Instead of coming up with an excuse, just be honest. Say what’s real. Own up to your choices, actions, or feelings and cut out the excuses. You will find that life is so much easier without excuses.

14. Tolerating believing in perfect.

Perfect doesn’t exist. Putting too much emphasis on wanting something or someone to be perfect can not only be stressful, but it can take away from your experiences in life. It’s ok for things not to be perfect, that’s what makes life so beautiful. Instead, accept things for what they are, and people for who they are. You might just find that perfect wasn’t what you were looking for after all.

15. Tolerating self-loathing thoughts.

You are the one who has to live with who you are. Sometimes we aren’t always happy with the choices we have made, or the things we have done. However, putting ourself down only hurts us, and prevents us from moving forward. Instead of allowing yourself to have these kinds of thoughts, focus on the vision of who you are. Focus on the good in yourself, and leave out the negative. Build yourself up instead of putting yourself down.

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16. Tolerating keeping a job you hate.

Waking up every morning and dreading going to work puts unnecessary stress on you. Each and every day. We spend more time at work than anywhere else, so you shouldn’t hate what you do. Instead, figure out something that you truly enjoy doing. Keep searching for a job you can see yourself at until you find one. Times are tight, so you might have to stay at your current job longer than you would like. That should be your driver to find a new job in which you would enjoy.

17. Tolerating being financially uneducated.

Money makes the world go round, and it can make your head spin too. Stressing out about money is one of the top problems that keep people up at night. A lot of the headache with your finances can come from not understanding your situation. Instead of continuing down the same path, get yourself educated. Do some of your own research, get your credit score figured out, talk to a financial planner, do whatever you have to do to get financially educated. Put yourself on a new path.

18. Tolerating empty complaints.

There’s a difference between venting and complaining. Empty complains get absolutely nothing accomplished, and bring out negativity. Complaining about something wont make it better. Instead, do something about it. Take action and change whatever it is you are currently complaining about. Being annoyed won’t get you far, but doing something it will.

19. Tolerating feeling guilty for not being able to complete everything.

We all have enough pressure in our lives as it is. Putting more pressure on yourself because you feel guilty won’t help get things done. Sometimes we commit to too much, and end up making things worse on ourselves. Instead, understand that everyone, even you, has their limits. You can’t possibly be in three places at the same time—and that’s okay! Don’t commit to something that you know is a stretch for you to fit in. Either say no, and maybe suggest who else could be counted on, or ask for help. Either way, don’t feel guilty for only being one person.

20. Tolerating other people’s opinion of you.

How many times have you second guessed something you were wearing or doing or saying, all because you were worried about someone else’s opinion of you? If you are like most people, at some point in your life you probably did this more times than you can remember. Instead of caring so much about other people’s opinion of you, just be you! No second guessing, no overthinking, no changing into something you don’t like- just going with what you feel is right. Take control of your own life and make decisions for yourself.

Featured photo credit: Teenage girl depression – lost love via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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