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If You Want To Be Happy, You Need To Ask Yourself These 10 Questions Every Morning

If You Want To Be Happy, You Need To Ask Yourself These 10 Questions Every Morning

Happiness all starts within you. You can’t search for happiness from the outside world. If you want to be happy, you need to ask yourself these 10 questions every morning.

How can I live in alignment with my values and beliefs in life today?

Living in alignment with your deepest values and beliefs will ultimately make you happy. Human beings are most happy when they are living their life with how they imagine their life being. Imagine what your life will consist of if you live in alignment with your values and beliefs. Will you be a happier individual? It’s about taking action with what you believe in and making the commitment every single day of living out your values.

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What can I do today to fulfill my human needs?

There are 6 human needs that we experience. These 6 human needs consist of certainty, variety, significance, connection & love, growth, and contribution. Take a moment every morning and be clear with what you human needs are. These human needs are what matter to you the most. I know that for me personally, connection & love and contribution are my two highest human needs. I live each and every day in alignment with these two human needs and let me tell you, I am very happy in my life. Reflect and be clear with what your human needs are.

Why do I go to work every day?

Do you know why you go to work every single day? Does it seem like you are constantly stuck in a “draining routine”? In order for you to be happy, you need to know why you do what you do. What is the reason for you to wake up in the mornings and go to work? You must experience a passion behind your actions. Without passion, it’s easy to get stuck in a boring and dull routine. Reach deep within yourself and be clear with why you go to work.

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Am I experiencing happiness from within?

A lot of us fall into the trap of finding happiness from the outside world. Whether it be materialistic possessions or from other people, we must take the time to ask our self this question. Where is happiness coming from in your life? It’s important for you to experience happiness from within because you will be constant even when stress and frustration come your way. You will have a solid internal foundation from within. No matter what you experience in life, you know that you will be okay. When happiness is rooted from within you, you are more likely to bounce back from stressful situations.

How can I love my spouse more today?

This question is always used in my marriage. My husband and I wake up in the mornings and ask ourselves this question. It’s easy for couples to get stuck in a “draining routine,” where they forget about doing the little things that express love to their partner. Ask yourself this question every morning and make the time to express love to your partner. This will definitely help rekindle your relationship!

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What is my legacy?

Take a moment and reflect upon this question. It’s important for you to think long term. What do you want to be remembered by? When you’re able to be clear with your legacy, you are more likely to work towards your legacy. I know that for me personally, I want to be remembered as having a meaningful marriage and helping people live a fulfilling and rewarding life. I live with this legacy every single day. Now it’s your turn. What’s your legacy?

Am I surrounding myself with positive people?

When it comes to your happiness, the people with which you surround yourself will influence you. We are more likely to conform when we are in a group setting. Who are the types of people you hang around with? If you surround yourself with negative people, their negativity will rub off onto you. If you surround yourself with positive people, their energy will rub off onto you. You have the choice of deciding who you’re friends with. If you want to be happy, chose your friends wisely.

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Where am I now in comparison to where I want to be?

It’s important for you to always reflect upon where you currently are and where you want to be in life. Being consciously aware that you are working towards your goals will make you happy. Understand that where you are now is only temporarily. You are constantly growing, learning and developing your mind. Take the time to reflect on your life. Where are you now in comparison to where you want to be? Do you know which direction you’re heading? If not, what changes do you need to make in order to be in the direction you want to be in?

What makes me happy?

This is a very simple question but worth talking about. Take a moment to reflect upon what truly makes you happy. I’m not talking about materialistic possessions or superficial things, like shopping or buying the latest gadget. I’m talking about internal happiness. What speaks to your soul? Focus on feeding your inner being. If you’re looking for long term happiness, it all starts from within.

How am I making a difference in this world?

We all want to make a difference in this world. Whether it be big or small. Life is about helping others live a better life. Take the time to figure what how you want to make a difference in this world. It can be as small as not littering or as big as becoming the president of the United States. You are in control. You have the option of living a passionately happy life or remaining stuck with where you are. You decide.

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Tiffany Mason

Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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