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6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.

appreciation is as important

    Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated.  The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.

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    Reason 1: It makes them happy

    Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.

    Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.

    When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.

    Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.

    When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.

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    Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.

    Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”

    Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.

    Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.

    Reason 6: It makes them feel special

    Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..

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    Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:

    • They’re more quiet than usual
    • They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
    • You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
    • They’re more emotional than normal
    • They quicker to argue
    • They say it in so many words
    • They tell others
    • They’re sad

    Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.

    Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.

    When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.

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      Last Updated on May 21, 2019

      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

      How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

      For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

      If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

      Example 1

      You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

      You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

      In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

      Example 2

      You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

      People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

      You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

      Example 3

      You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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      The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

      Example 4

      You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

      Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

      If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

      Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

      • Understand your own communication style
      • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
      • Communicate with precision and care
      • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

      1. Understand Your Communication Style

      To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

      In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

      Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

      2. Learn Others Communication Styles

      Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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      If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

      “How do you prefer to receive information?”

      This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

      To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

      3. Exercise Precision and Care

      A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

      On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

      Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

      I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

      I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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      In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

      The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

      Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

      4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

      Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

      In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

      “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

      Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

      Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

      It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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      It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

      It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

      Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

      Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

      The Bottom Line

      When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

      I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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      Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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