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6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.

appreciation is as important

    Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated.  The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.

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    Reason 1: It makes them happy

    Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.

    Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.

    When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.

    Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.

    When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.

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    Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.

    Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”

    Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.

    Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.

    Reason 6: It makes them feel special

    Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..

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    Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:

    • They’re more quiet than usual
    • They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
    • You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
    • They’re more emotional than normal
    • They quicker to argue
    • They say it in so many words
    • They tell others
    • They’re sad

    Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.

    Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.

    When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.

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      The Gentle Art of Saying No

      The Gentle Art of Saying No

      No!

      It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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      But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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      What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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      But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

      1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
      2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
      3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
      4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
      5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
      6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
      7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
      8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
      9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
      10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

      Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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