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6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

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6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.

appreciation is as important

    Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated.  The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.

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    Reason 1: It makes them happy

    Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.

    Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.

    When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.

    Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.

    When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.

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    Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.

    Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”

    Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.

    Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.

    Reason 6: It makes them feel special

    Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..

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    Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:

    • They’re more quiet than usual
    • They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
    • You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
    • They’re more emotional than normal
    • They quicker to argue
    • They say it in so many words
    • They tell others
    • They’re sad

    Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.

    Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.

    When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.

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      Last Updated on January 5, 2022

      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

      We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

      Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

      Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

      Expressing Anger

      Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

      Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

      Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

      Being Passive-Aggressive

      This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

      Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

      This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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      Poorly-Timed

      Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

      An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

      Ongoing Anger

      Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

      Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

      Healthy Ways to Express Anger

      What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

      Being Honest

      Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

      Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

      Being Direct

      Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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      Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

      Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

      Being Timely

      When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

      Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

      Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

      How to Deal With Anger

      If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

      1. Slow Down

      From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

      In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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      When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

      2. Focus on the “I”

      Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

      When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

      3. Work out

      When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

      Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

      Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

      4. Seek Help When Needed

      There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

      5. Practice Relaxation

      We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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      That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

      Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

      6. Laugh

      Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

      7. Be Grateful

      It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

      Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

      Final Thoughts

      Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

      During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

      Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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      More Resources on Anger Management

      Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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