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6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

6 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Mate

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.

appreciation is as important

    Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated.  The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.

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    Reason 1: It makes them happy

    Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.

    Reason 2: It makes it easier for them to show you that they appreciate you too.

    When you show appreciation for someone, it makes it easier for them to show appreciation to you in return. One of the main reasons people withhold recognition is that they don’t feel recognized in the first place. If you start showing your significant other appreciation, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate.

    Reason 3: It lets them know that you’re sincerely grateful for what they do for you.

    When a person receives your acknowledgement for what they’ve done it really motivates them to keep doing it, and nothing provides consistency like recognition. Basically, that good deed didn’t go unpunished. The happiness they feel from the good deed encourages them to continue their actions—nothing is more motivating than to know that someone recognizes your efforts.

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    Reason 4: It makes them feel loved.

    Appreciating someone lets them know that you love them. So many times people feel that the people they love don’t love them in the same way that they love that person. People do what they do, because of how they feel about you, so when you strive to show your appreciation for them you’re telling them how much you love them: it has the same effect as saying “I love you.”

    Reason 5: It makes them feel respected.

    Respect is a big factor in relationships, and without respect, most relationships are doomed to fail. Respect is one of the foundations of a strong partnership, and when you make sure that a person knows that you truly appreciate them, you make them feel respected. The more respect they feel that you have for them, the stronger the relationship will become.

    Reason 6: It makes them feel special

    Being appreciated in a relationship makes a person feel special, honored, and treasured. When you let someone know how much you appreciate them, you’re telling that person how much they mean to you, and the more special you make that person feel, the stronger your relationship will become..

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    Here are 8 signs that let you know that your partner doesn’t feel appreciated:

    • They’re more quiet than usual
    • They slack off or stop doing the things they once used to
    • You feel a growing distance in between the two of you
    • They’re more emotional than normal
    • They quicker to argue
    • They say it in so many words
    • They tell others
    • They’re sad

    Everybody needs reassurances and recognition for the efforts that they make, and the longer it takes you to get around to doing that, the more you open the relationship to problems. Letting a person know that you recognize the things that they do for you is a way of showing that person how much you love them, and making sure that your partner knows that you love them is the best way to create security in a partnership. It’s also a great way to make the relationship last longer.

    Appreciation is as important to relationships as respect or trust. A lot of issues that people have in partnerships develop because they don’t feel appreciated—it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work.

    When you’re putting hard work into something, it’s always wonderful to get a pat on the back for your efforts. The more grateful you are for what that person contributes to your life, and your relationship, the happier the two of you can be together. Make appreciating your partner a priority.

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      Published on May 18, 2021

      How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

      How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

      We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

      The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

      Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

      Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

      Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

      There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

      Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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      Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

      We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

      Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

      A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

      The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

      Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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      Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

      Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

      Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

      While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

      Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

      These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

      Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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      Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

      Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

      Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

      Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

      Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

      Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

      As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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      This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

      Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

      Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

      These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

      Actions Speak Louder Than Words

      Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

      Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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      Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

      More Tips Improving Listening Skills

      Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

      Reference

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