Advertising
Advertising

Why Being Kind Will Make You A Successful Person

Why Being Kind Will Make You A Successful Person

Being successful is no longer equated to the power-suited, serious and determined, “don’t get in my way” kind of individuals that it used to. Instead you’ll find the most success people in life are the exact opposite. All you have to do is take a look at the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, J.K. Rowling and Richard Branson. Each of these very successful people are the kind of individuals who you wouldn’t feel out of place asking to your grandmother’s 80th birthday party! Plus they’re the kind of people most others aspire to be like, personally and professionally.

So why is that? What is so different about these people? Well, I’ve come up with a few points on why these people are successful based on the fact that being kind is a big part of that success and how you can do the same.

Advertising

1. Let go of the need to compete with others.

Competition breeds selfishness and a feeling of lack, which isn’t the most positive place to start when trying to be successful. To be successful we don’t need to all be successful at the same things, and if we can all be successful at different things, isn’t that a better thing than no success at all? If you compete there is no room for being kind to your fellow human being, as it will all be about wanting and having more with little or no thought for others. Competition might be seen as a motivator, but it can also be an obstacle to success. Try to focus less on what others are doing and you’ll see a dramatic change in your circumstances.

2. Have balance in all areas of your life.

If you think you are successful in life because you are making a lot of money and have a dream home, yet your family never see you because you work most of the time, then you’d be wrong. Successful people are mindful of the fact that having balance in all areas of their lives includes everything from the mind, body, heart (including family) and spirit. When they are in tune with that balance they are paying attention to what matters, and being kind, giving and compassionate are all a big part of that.

Advertising

3. They spend time with good, kind and honest people.

Successful people hang around with those who are like-minded, who aspire to create the same things and who reflect a part of them that they would like to be. It has been said that you are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with, so if you want to be successful you must seek out those you want to be like personally as well as professionally. You’ll know if you are hanging around with the right people or not by checking how you feel after you’ve been with them.

4. Be kind to yourself even when mistakes are made.

A big part of success is how you deal with failure because no matter how successful you are you will have had some failures to get to where you are. Being kind to yourself whilst failing is vitally important because it’s at the point of failure that blame, self-doubt and negativity can consume you. Instead of going down that road, look to the reason why you failed and what you can learn from it. It’s when you look on the positive side of things you can begin to see failure as a gift rather than something to feel bad about.

Advertising

5. Give some of your time away unconditionally.

Whether you are in business for yourself or you want to be a success in your personal life, giving time to others unconditionally is a sure-fire way to be successful in life. It’s by giving to others without expecting something in return that you really begin to see the benefit of being a good and kind person. Seeing the joy in someone’s face, the gratitude in their eyes and hearing a thank you from their lips is all that is required to live a happy, successful life. So, give away as much as you can and you’ll reap the benefits in ways you can only imagine.

6. Help other people get what they need to succeed.

It’s a massively good thing to help others achieve success. Firstly, it will not only make you feel happy and content with your efforts, but also it goes a long way towards helping you get the success you want. Look at it this way: if you help someone to succeed, then nine times out of ten they’ll feel grateful enough to help you in the future. The thing here is not to do ‘favors’ in order to get something in return. Do it because you love being kind and you love to help people succeed, which is success in itself!

Advertising

7. Always be grateful for what you have.

This is probably the most important quality of a successful person because it is the kindest and most loving quality anyone can possess. It’s when you are grateful for what you have right now, even though struggle and hardship, that you create more things to be grateful about. When you moan or complain about what you don’t have, it only creates more stuff to moan or complain about! So shift your focus by being kind, being grateful and by focusing on what you do have.

Do you want success in life? Start by being a more generous and being a kinder person and see what a difference it will make.

Featured photo credit: Clay Larsen via flickr.com

More by this author

Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life 15 Habits of Highly Miserable People If You Think Love Is Always Uncontrollable, You Don’t Understand Love 10 Reasons Why Growing Up Isn’t As Bad As You Think Why The Key To Finding True Love Is Self-Love

Trending in Communication

1 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 2 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 3 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life 4 14 Things That Make You Happy and Enjoy Life More 5 Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

Advertising

Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

Advertising

Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

Advertising

When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

Advertising

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next