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This Is What Being In A Relationship Really Means

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This Is What Being In A Relationship Really Means

If humans would have the inherent characteristic to be alone and happy, perhaps the population would be a lot less and each one us would be occupying our own personal island. However, fortunately and unfortunately, we are highly evolved individuals, for whom to love and to be loved is a very basic necessity. Hence being in a relationship is an option which we do choose, to ensure our “Happily ever after life.”

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    But, with time only the relationship is left behind, with little or no happiness. This happens because we tend to forget what a relationship really means.

    This is What Being In A Relationship Really Means :

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    1. Having faith, freedom and friendship

    You need to have faith. A constant nagging or a skeptical attitude will ruin the relationship. You need to have the freedom to speak for yourself, freedom to follow your heart and the freedom to make your own choices, while you are enjoying the relation with a bondage of friendship. Being in a relation means a balance between the freedom and bondage.

    2. Giving and getting the time

    Women want someone to understand them whereas men often want someone to connect to them through watching a football match or playing video games with them. Hence giving and getting time, is one important aspect of being in a relationship.

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      3. Being Patience

      It takes time to give and get time, so be patient. Accepting your partner with his/her imperfections, needs patience. Things will be perfect, with a little patience. There is no point in having daily fights over routine habits of your partner. He/she needs time to change himself/herself.

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      4. Being Able to Share

      Sharing feelings, emotions, finances, thoughts, words and actions enables you to spend some quality time with your partner. This makes you feel complete in your own world of two people. When you share, you connect. When you connect, then the relationship begins.

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        5. Being the Strength

        Everyone has a time in life when they feel low. This is when being with your partner makes you stronger. When someone believes in you, when someone motivates you, inspires you, strengthens you, then you realize what being in a relationship really means. It means being strong together, living as a team.

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          6. Love

          Being in relationship means being in love. Love means acceptance : Praise the good, accept the flaws and provide the inspiration to change. Love is neither a moment nor a feeling, it is the existence of togetherness.

          7. Being yourself

          You don’t need to act or be someone else just to impress your partner. Being in a relationship means being yourself. Everyone is different and being in a relation allows you to celebrate the mutual difference!

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            8. Being the best version of yourself

            Being in a relationship means that you partner not only accepts you the way you are, but also inspires you to be the best version of yourself. Most of the successful people owe their success to the daily inspirations provided to them by their partners.

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            9. Allowing yourselves to miss each other

            Go for a vacation with your friends, Find time for your own passions. Being together 24/7 doesn’t help much because it is important that you allow yourself to miss your partner.

            10. Being an individual

            Have your own identity. Don’t be afraid to try new things just because your partner is not there with you. Have your own identity. This will allow you to share a different perspective with your partner. Life is interesting only because of the differences and the individuality.

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              Hence being in a relationship means to live, to love, to smile, to exist with joy!!

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              There is certainly a way to sort out every difference, you just need the will and the faith strong enough, to make the relationship fruitful. You need to remember, that you enter into a relationship to be happy , and you must be!!

              Featured photo credit: http://www.savvydeetsbridal.com/2013/10/real-couples-april-jesse-phoenix-desert.html via savvydeetsbridal.com

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              Last Updated on November 18, 2021

              10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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              10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

              We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

              A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

              So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

              • honest
              • reliable
              • competent
              • kind and compassionate
              • capable of taking the blame
              • able to persevere
              • modest and humble
              • pacific and can control anger.

              The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

              1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

              All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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              But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

              2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

              How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

              I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

              “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

              Abigail Van Buren

              3. How does this person take the blame?

              Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

              4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

              You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

              5. Read their emails.

              Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

              • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
              • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
              • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
              • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
              • Too many question marks can show anger
              • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

              6. Watch out for the show offs.

              Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

              7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

              A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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              Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

              8. Their empathy score is high.

              Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

              People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

              9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

              We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

              “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

              Stendhal

               10. Avoid toxic people.

              These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

              • Envy or jealousy
              • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
              • Complaining about their own lack of success
              • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
              • Obsession with themselves and their problems

              Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

              Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

              Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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