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This Is What Being In A Relationship Really Means

This Is What Being In A Relationship Really Means

If humans would have the inherent characteristic to be alone and happy, perhaps the population would be a lot less and each one us would be occupying our own personal island. However, fortunately and unfortunately, we are highly evolved individuals, for whom to love and to be loved is a very basic necessity. Hence being in a relationship is an option which we do choose, to ensure our “Happily ever after life.”

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    But, with time only the relationship is left behind, with little or no happiness. This happens because we tend to forget what a relationship really means.

    This is What Being In A Relationship Really Means :

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    1. Having faith, freedom and friendship

    You need to have faith. A constant nagging or a skeptical attitude will ruin the relationship. You need to have the freedom to speak for yourself, freedom to follow your heart and the freedom to make your own choices, while you are enjoying the relation with a bondage of friendship. Being in a relation means a balance between the freedom and bondage.

    2. Giving and getting the time

    Women want someone to understand them whereas men often want someone to connect to them through watching a football match or playing video games with them. Hence giving and getting time, is one important aspect of being in a relationship.

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      3. Being Patience

      It takes time to give and get time, so be patient. Accepting your partner with his/her imperfections, needs patience. Things will be perfect, with a little patience. There is no point in having daily fights over routine habits of your partner. He/she needs time to change himself/herself.

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      4. Being Able to Share

      Sharing feelings, emotions, finances, thoughts, words and actions enables you to spend some quality time with your partner. This makes you feel complete in your own world of two people. When you share, you connect. When you connect, then the relationship begins.

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        5. Being the Strength

        Everyone has a time in life when they feel low. This is when being with your partner makes you stronger. When someone believes in you, when someone motivates you, inspires you, strengthens you, then you realize what being in a relationship really means. It means being strong together, living as a team.

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          6. Love

          Being in relationship means being in love. Love means acceptance : Praise the good, accept the flaws and provide the inspiration to change. Love is neither a moment nor a feeling, it is the existence of togetherness.

          7. Being yourself

          You don’t need to act or be someone else just to impress your partner. Being in a relationship means being yourself. Everyone is different and being in a relation allows you to celebrate the mutual difference!

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            8. Being the best version of yourself

            Being in a relationship means that you partner not only accepts you the way you are, but also inspires you to be the best version of yourself. Most of the successful people owe their success to the daily inspirations provided to them by their partners.

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            9. Allowing yourselves to miss each other

            Go for a vacation with your friends, Find time for your own passions. Being together 24/7 doesn’t help much because it is important that you allow yourself to miss your partner.

            10. Being an individual

            Have your own identity. Don’t be afraid to try new things just because your partner is not there with you. Have your own identity. This will allow you to share a different perspective with your partner. Life is interesting only because of the differences and the individuality.

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              Hence being in a relationship means to live, to love, to smile, to exist with joy!!

              There is certainly a way to sort out every difference, you just need the will and the faith strong enough, to make the relationship fruitful. You need to remember, that you enter into a relationship to be happy , and you must be!!

              Featured photo credit: http://www.savvydeetsbridal.com/2013/10/real-couples-april-jesse-phoenix-desert.html via savvydeetsbridal.com

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              Last Updated on August 6, 2020

              6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

              6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

              We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

              “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

              Are we speaking the same language?

              My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

              When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

              Am I being lazy?

              When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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              Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

              Early in the relationship:

              “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

              When the relationship is established:

              “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

              It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

              Have I actually got anything to say?

              When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

              A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

              When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

              Am I painting an accurate picture?

              One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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              How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

              Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

              What words am I using?

              It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

              Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

              Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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              Is the map really the territory?

              Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

              A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

              I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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