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The 10 Best Things a Mother Ever Told Her Child

The 10 Best Things a Mother Ever Told Her Child

 

mother with child on hip

              

    In the modern age of online self-improvement tips and self-help books, we seem to have lost our way on some of the most basic things in life. When I say basic, I mean the things our mothers (and fathers) have been telling us for as long as we can remember.  Now, I know that not everybody’s parents are clinicians, psychologists and self help gurus.  And furthermore, we all know that our parents didn’t walk three miles to school, both ways, in the snow, without shoes. 

    But I think that it is pretty safe to say that some of the folk wisdom handed down from generation to generation was handed down for a reason.  It was useful and it made sense.  Moreover, much of it has now been shown to be scientifically sound.  So maybe it’s time we turn off our smart phones and tablets and get our information the old fashioned way— by asking our mothers (and fathers).  So here are some of my favorite gems of conventional wisdom.

    Do it until it’s done.

    family gardening

      It turns out to be true that those of us that show the best task persistence actually do better in many areas of life.  I often hear my own kids asking, “How much longer do I have to do this for?  How long do I have to study?  How long do I have to clean my room for? Now I think back to my fairly stress free childhood, and I know that I had it easy compared to many others of my generation and before, but I remember this: “You do it until you are finished.”  That might be one hour.  That might be 10 hours.  But you are finished when the job is done. 

      It turns out that task persistence matters. So do your best and finish a job.  And when you get to the point when you think you can’t do any more, think again and go try some more. 

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      Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, does a beautiful job of making this point.  In one chapter in which he discusses why some people do better than others at mathematics, he goes into our attitudes towards mathematics.  Those who give up and say “I can’t do this. I need you to show me how” not surprisingly don’t do as well at mathematics as those who say “I can’t do this yet.  I need to take a different approach”. 

      Gladwell goes on to describe the TIMSS test, in which every four years an international group of educators administer a comprehensive mathematics test to elementary and junior high school students around the world.  Before the students sit the exam, they fill in a questionnaire which asks them all kinds of questions relating to, for example, their parents’ level of education, who their friends are, and so on.  This is a tedious and demanding questionnaire.  In fact it is so tedious that many students leave as many as 10-20 questions blank.  The average number of questions answered varies from country to country.  But here is the interesting part.  The number of questions answered on the questionnaire correlates perfectly with the number of questions answered correctly on the actual TIMSS exam.  In other words, those who persisted in answering the questionnaire questions also persisted in “figuring out” the maths questions and did better on the mathematics exam as a direct result. So if you do a thing until it is done, you will do much better on mathematics exams, but also in other arenas of life.

      It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
      bullying in magnets

        Being nice costs you nothing. But not being nice is costing us all dearly.  There are lots of different iterations of this piece of advice, but it basically comes down to having respect for people.  Again, in our fast paced modern lives, we are often so busy that we forget to be nice.  This might be shocking to a generation gone before us, but it is true for many of us today.  And we hand this attitude right down to our own kids and then we are surprised to hear that bullying is on the rise, in the schools, in the workplace and even in old people’s homes.

        Why are we surprised?  It seems to me that what has happened here is that people have forgotten the importance of being nice and that has trickled into every institution we are part of.  School systems and other organizations are now required by law to have a “policy on bullying” and a “code of conduct”.  Why? Because we are all forgetting to be nice to such a degree that it is psychologically damaging to those around us.  One American study on the Kansas School System (see Kansas Communities That Care Survey) found that 60 percent of students reported being bullied.

        Teachers in those same schools estimated that approximately 16 percent of those students were being bullied.  That’s quite a discrepancy between what is happening and what teachers are aware of.  Some further interesting statistics on bullying include that a child is bullied every 7 seconds and that 20-30 percent of school age children are involved in bullying incidents, as either the bully or the victim.  Finally, researchers also report that 60 percent of those characterized as bullies in grades 6-9 had a least one criminal conviction by the age of 24.  So what has happened here? We are forgetting to be nice.  We are so caught up in being important, being popular and getting ahead (in the school yard and the work place) that we have completely forgotten to be nice.  This “forgetting” has long term implications for all parties involved.

        Education is no burden to carry. 

        child writing

          Doing well in school predicts how well you will do in life.  While this piece of advice likely brings to mind the wonderful work of author and film maker, Dionne Brand, this is advice that is not just for women and not just for black women.  My parents used to say when I was going to school, “Study hard.  Learn a lot”.  So while perhaps this is less eloquent than Education is no burden to carry, in many ways, it makes the same point.  The more you know, the farther you’ll go.  The better we educate ourselves, our children, our society, the more opportunities we will have.

          When you are a child and looking out the window of your classroom on a sunny day, it might feel like school and studying are a burden.  But the fact of the matter is that doing well in school predicts how well you will do in life.  The longer you stay in school, the higher your intellectual skills will be.  Research has shown that people who score well on IQ tests have more successful jobs, earn more money, and are even happier and healthier.  So while we all know examples of famous and successful people who did well in life, we should remember that these are exceptions to the rule, they are not the norm.  For most of us, if you get your head down and work hard in school, you will have a more successful life and you will be happier and healthier too.  So education is not a burden.  It is a path to success.

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          Never go anywhere without a good book. 

          KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

            It has been shown in a number of studies that people who read a lot have better developed vocabularies and perform better on cognitive tasks (Cunningham & Stanovich, 1998).  The pioneering work of Todd Risley and colleagues has shown us that exposure to a greater number of words through speech and reading has major implications for increasing your later life’s success.  Also, on a practical note, you never know when you are going to be stuck in a queue at the bank or doctors office so in the spirit of modern day multi-tasking, let’s use that time to our advantage.  In fact, go one step further—enjoy that time!

            Don’t look for love in a bar.  Look for love in a library.

            Exif_JPEG_PICTURE

              Ok, so this one is probably not one you have heard before.  In fact, the only mother I ever knew who imparted this wisdom was my own.  Being a librarian herself, it would only have made sense to her to take someone seriously if you knew that they were interested in learning and books.  But this advice actually makes sense on a number of levels, and not just for book lovers.  In days of yore in the Western world, and also in some modern non-Western cultures, marriages were arranged based on what would best serve each family and people only married those people that were acceptable and accepted by their individual families and within their own social structure.  People who got married came from similar cultures with similar value systems and you know what? More often than not, these marriages worked.

              So now with all our new fangled notions of romance and freedom, and with all the choice that comes with that, we find ourselves in the modern world of more complex and cosmopolitan marriages, many of which could certainly not be called traditional.  So we have now got a lot of choice and people are not compelled to doing what culture, society or religion has dictated.  For the most part this is a good thing, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  There is a problem with this modern and advanced system too.  We have moved so far away from where we have come, that we don’t know what the value system is anymore. This is the problem.  One way to counteract this new system full of choice, surprises, and different ways of thinking is to seek out people with shared interests and values.  So whether that might be at the tennis club, the church or the library, it seems that seeking out a partner who shares your passions and ideals is a good idea.  Another good idea is to avoid being inebriated when you make these important decisions!

              Don’t make such a song and dance about everything.

                
              horse and buggy going uphill

                The way we interpret a problem influences how we deal with it.   This adage might be a useful tip for parents or teachers who are tired of hearing everything little thing that happened, every wrongful accusation and every crime done unto their little ones.  Of course, it should be remembered that kids need to vent their woes and they need someone to listen to them.  They need to know that how they think and feel about things matters.  But here’s the kicker, the way we interpret an event influences how we go forward.

                How do some people face severe adversity and trauma and come through to the other side as successful and productive human beings? It definitely has to do with how resilient that person is, but it probably also has something to do with the way they interpreted the situation in the first place.  It has to do with how they “told their story” and if they made the trauma/adversity the central feature of the rest of their lives’ story then they can remain stuck there and cannot move on.  If, on the other hand, the trauma was only one part of a greater life story and if it was interpreted as a “mountain I must climb” rather than “something I cannot accept or cannot overcome”, then it is very likely that person is still engaged with the trauma, rather than moving on to the next chapter.

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                Of course, I am in no way minimizing trauma or adversity.  Horrible and painful things happen every day and these stories need to be told.  But know this – how you write the story will dictate the next chapter.  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) practitioners view suffering as universal and report that the primary cause of human suffering is the intrusion of language into areas where it is not functional (see Hayes, Strosahl & Wilson 1999).  In other words, if we “think trauma” all the time, this is not functional and it is not helpful and it will not move us forward.  Rather, we can get stuck here because our mind tells us “this is trauma” and we react accordingly.  So it is our interpretation of the event, rather than the event itself that causes the situation to seem unbearable.  So it seems like the old adage, Don’t make such a song and dance about it, is a helpful one as it may help us to move on from difficult situations in life by reminding us not to get wrapped up in every single event in our lives.

                Don’t argue with fools or drunks.

                argument on street

                  If someone is very drunk or very foolish, the chances are, they may not be making sense.  So you could make some very well thought out and meaningful contributions to an argument.  In fact, hands down, you could win that argument! But what difference will it make?  Someone with very little intellectual capacity (whether that be related to too much alcohol or intellectual disadvantage) may not understand or remember your golden nuggets of truth.  So don’t waste your time.  Grab a good book instead.

                  Respect yourself.

                  parents holding childrens hands

                    We all hear about boundaries and how we need to set them for children.  Rules and boundaries are useful for a number of reasons when you are working with small children, but they are also important for the parents themselves.  In the 1960’s,

                    Psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted some research on parenting and parenting styles which is still widely considered to be of paramount importance in the parenting literature.  Baumrind suggested that there are three main types of parenting.  These types were authoritarian, authoritative and permissive.  Macoby and Martin added a fourth type (un-involved) in 1983.  Time and time again, the authoritative type of parenting has yielded the best outcomes for children in relation to academic and social and emotional success.

                    This is largely down to the fact that this type of parenting involves rules and guidelines to be followed, but parents continue to be warm and supportive.  This type of parenting lets children know where they stand, what is expected of them and what will happen if they fail to comply, but it also models compassion, flexibility and respect.  So these parents are respectful of their own children and respectful of their own needs as people too.  So they are modelling the very type of behavior that they expect and in so doing, teaching their children to treat people (and rules) with respect.  Because children of authoritative parents know what the rules are, they are also more likely to recognize when those same rules are being broken later on in life when they are involved in friendships, romantic relationships and when they are involved professionally with work colleagues.  So these same children will have the confidence to respectfully decline to be involved with people who treat them poorly as they grow into their adult selves.

                    Eat your vegetables.

                    vegetables

                      Eating well not only makes you healthier, it makes you smarter!  Well we all know that what you eat makes a difference to your weight, but why else should we eat our vegetables?  Well, my Dad often told me that eating carrots would help me to see in the dark.  It’s nearly 40 years later and I still don’t have night vision! But that aside, good nutrition which includes a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains and lean meats seems to be a common theme even in the faddy diets of celebrities and superstars.  Why is this?  What properties or health benefits does having a healthy and balanced diet confer upon us?

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                      It turns out that eating well isn’t just about our waistline and it’s not just about physical health.  Eating well can also support your brain health.  It can stimulate intellectual development in a way that the fast food life style just cannot support.  One study, led by Arthur Agatson (cardiologist and creator of the popular South Beach diet) has published findings (along with colleagues Hollar, Messiah, Lopez-Mitnik, T Hollar & Almon) showing that improving the nutritional quality of school meals bolstered the academic performance of students over a two year period, in addition to lowering their weight and blood pressure.  Mathematics scores also improved for this group.  So eating healthy is not just important for your physical health, but it is also important for your brain health and academic development.

                      Don’t drive there when you can walk there.

                      girls playing soccer

                        Being physically healthy is good for you body and mind. It is pretty commonly known now that we all need to exercise more.  But this does not have to mean a gym membership.  There are many things that we can do in our every-day lives to increase our cardiac activity and one of these is walking places, instead of driving, whenever possible.  This also includes taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

                        But what evidence is there that there is a connection between how much we exercise and our overall health and well being?  In 2009, the Department of Health and Human Services released new guidelines surrounding physical fitness for Americans.  These guidelines called for adults between the ages of 18 and 64 to exercise moderately for at least 2 hours and 30 minutes each week or to exercise vigorously for at least an hour and 15 minutes weekly.  This Department reported that the longer, harder and more often you exercise, the greater the physical health benefits including decreasing risk of cancer and diabetes.  Studies have shown that those who engage in the recommended amount of exercise live an average of three to seven years longer than those who do not.

                        A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that people aged 50 years or older, with memory problems, scored higher on cognitive tests after a 6 month work-out regimen.  This result was 20 percent higher than their sedentary peers and a 10 percent edge was still measured one year after the trial ended.  Thus, exercising helps both your body and your mind. 

                        So where does this leave us? While I don’t advise people to believe everything they hear or everything they read, it looks like lots of the stuff our parents have been telling us is actually true.  And if you don’t believe me, I suggest you go ask your mother.

                        mother and child at lake

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                          Last Updated on May 20, 2019

                          How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

                          How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

                          We sometimes hear people talk about the importance of living in the moment. We might hear about the different ways it will benefit us. It all sounds wonderful, but how exactly can we live in the moment when our mind is constantly racing?

                          In this article, we’ll discuss some of the benefits of living in the moment you may not be aware of. Then we’ll look at some of the obstacles, and why we worry. Finally, and most importantly, I’ll show you how to live in the moment and stop worrying using some simple practices that you can easily incorporate into your busy schedule.

                          The result: a happier and more fulfilling life.

                          Why Live in the Moment?

                          “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

                          Living in the moment has innumerable benefits. Here are just a few that will enhance your life tremendously:

                          Better Health

                          By reducing stress and anxiety, you avoid many of the associated health consequences, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. Studies have shown that being present can also improve psychological well-being.[1]

                          Improve Your Relationships

                          Have you ever been with someone who is physically present, but mentally he’s a million miles away?

                          Being with unavailable people is a struggle, and makes relationships with them extremely difficult.

                          How about being with someone who is fully present? We enjoy being with him because we can make a much deeper connection with him.

                          By living in the moment, you can be that person other people enjoy being with, and you make relationships much easier.

                          Greater Self-Control

                          You have greater control over your mind, body, and emotions. Imagine how much better your life would be if it weren’t at the mercy of a racing mind, and unpredictable emotions. You would certainly be more at peace, and much happier.[2]

                          Why Do We Worry?

                          Before we answer this question, it’s important to distinguish between worry and concern.

                          When we are concerned about something, we are more likely dealing with a real problem with realistic solutions. Then once we do whatever we can to address the problem, we’re willing to live with the outcome.

                          Worrying, on the other hand, involves unrealistic thinking. We may worry about a problem that doesn’t really exist, or dwell on all the bad things that can happen as a result. Then, we feel unable to deal with the outcome. Either way, we have difficulty dealing with uncertainty, which is a normal part of life.

                          Certainly, some of our problems may not have desirable outcomes, such as a serious health issue. Some problems may be beyond our control, such as civil unrest or economic downturn. In such cases, it can be hard to avoid worrying, but not impossible.

                          We sometimes worry when we don’t know how to deal with a problem. For example, have you ever received a letter from the IRS telling you that you owe more money than you thought, and don’t have the funds to pay it? This is enough to scare anyone who is not familiar with taxes.

                          How to Live in the Moment

                          Step 1: Overcome Worrying

                          In order to overcome worrying, we need to do two things:

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                          Learn How to Live in the Moment

                          By living in the moment, you calm your mind, and are able to see more clearly.

                          The reason some problems seem so daunting is that our mind is racing so fast that we cannot see things as they truly are. So we make up a bunch of possible scenarios in our mind, most of which are unlikely to come true.

                          In addition to seeing more clearly, living in the moment will help us think more realistically. Unrealistic thinking is fueled by confusion and uncontrolled emotions. Calming your mind will reduce confusion and calm your emotions.

                          Learn to Focus on Solutions Instead of Problems

                          Some people tend to be more solution-oriented, and others more problem-oriented. Some of the factors that may determine this are gender, upbringing, and education.

                          People with higher educations tend to be problem-solvers. That is what their years of education train them to do. In addition, their jobs probably reinforce this way of thinking.

                          If you’re not problem-solving oriented, don’t worry. You can train yourself to worry less. We’ll discuss that soon.

                          Step 2: Identify Obstacles to Living in the Moment

                          In today’s busy world, it can be a challenge to live in the moment. The reasons revolve around how our mind works, and outside influences.

                          Racing Mind

                          Many busy people have a racing mind that never seems to slow down. Their mind gets so agitated from too much sensory stimulation.

                          You see, anything that stimulates any of our five senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell) will trigger a thought, and that thought leads to another, and then another, and so on.

                          If you have a busy life, all your activities will overstimulate your mind, and make it seemingly impossible to slow it down. And an agitated mind wants to go to another place and time.

                          Unpleasant Situations and Troublesome Past

                          None of us want to be in unpleasant situations, or remember those of the past. They can bring up painful emotions, which we don’t want to feel.

                          So how do most people cope with painful emotions?

                          By doing whatever we can to avoid them, and we can avoid them by taking our mind to another place and time where things are more pleasant.

                          In other words, we avoid living in the present moment.

                          Some people resort to doing things that stimulate sensory pleasure, such as eating, alcohol or sex. Others will consume substances that dull their mind, and keep them from thinking about unpleasant or stressful situations.

                          A Wandering Mind

                          From the moment we are born (likely sooner) until the time we die, our body and mind are active performing some function. So it’s natural for our mind to have some level of activity, whether conscious or unconscious.

                          Generally, a wandering mind is unproductive. As noted above, one thought starts an endless chain of thoughts. The reason is that one thought reminds us of something else, and this process can go on until we need our mind to perform a specific function, or until we get distracted with something else.

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                          Now, there are times when a wandering mind can be productive, such as when creating works of art, or trying to find creative solutions to problems. In such cases, we need our mind to explore different possibilities.[3]

                          Outside Influences

                          Most of us are not fully aware of how our environment and social norms influence our thinking and behavior. People and institutions are constantly competing for our attention. The news media draw our attention to the past, and advertising usually to the future.[4]

                          Many people around us who dwell on the past or future try to draw us to their way of thinking. Even the whole concept of the American dream is geared toward the future. It tells us that if we acquire things like a good career, family, and house, then we’ll be happy.

                          Step 3: Practice Mindfulness

                          So how can we live in the moment in a world that is constantly trying to draw our attention to the past and future?

                          Before we get into concrete actions you can take, it’s important to understand what mindfulness is. You’ve probably heard the term before, but may not fully understand what it means.

                          Understand Mindfulness

                          The concept of mindfulness is actually quite simple. To be mindful IS to live in the moment.

                          When you are mindful, your attention is focused on what is happening in the present moment. When you are mindful, you are fully in touch with reality because the present moment is where reality is taking place.

                          You are aware of what is happening in your body, mind, emotions, and the world around you. This is different than thinking about these things. To develop greater understanding, you don’t have to think about them so much, but rather just observe them.

                          This may be counter-intuitive to many people, especially intellectuals, because they’re so used to using logic to develop greater understanding. With mindfulness, we calm our mind and emotions so we can see clearer. Then much of our understanding will come from simply observation. When we develop mindfulness, we literally expand our awareness.

                          To develop mindfulness, we need to train ourselves to observe things more objectively, that is, without our emotions or preconceived ideas influencing our views.

                          You’d be surprised to find out just how much your emotions and past experiences influence your judgments. What many of us do, including intellectuals, is make a quick judgment about a person or situation, then add the reasoning afterwards. That is not logic, but rather rationalization.

                          When you are mindful, you reserve judgment until you have more information. Notice how I said “more information,” and not “complete information.” It is impossible to have complete information about something because there are infinite numbers of factors affecting it. So the best thing to do is be as objective as possible, and always be open to new information.

                          Viewing the world in this manner can be a challenge, and takes some practice to overcome years of habitual thinking. But it can make our lives infinitely more fulfilling, as we’ll be able to make much better decisions that will result in real happiness and inner peace.

                          So if you’re ready to live a better life, read on for some simple mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your busy life to help you live in the moment, that is, reality.

                          You don’t have to do all of them, but rather choose the ones that appeal to you, and suit your lifestyle.

                          Mindfulness Meditation

                          Mindfulness meditation is the mainstay of developing mindfulness and living in the moment. To practice mindfulness meditation, all you really have to do is sit quietly and follow your breathing. When your mind wanders off, just bring it back to your breath.

                          Notice how your lungs expand with each in-breath, and contract with each out-breath. Let your breathing become relaxed and natural.

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                          You don’t have to do it perfectly. The idea is to give your mind a rest from the constant sensory stimulation of all your activities, and just allow it to settle down naturally. Start with about 5 to 10 minutes per day and work your way up to about 20 minutes or longer.

                          This practice is highly effective, and can have both short-term and long-term benefits.

                          If you want to learn more about mindfulness meditation, take a look at this article: How to Practice Mindful Meditation to Calm Your Thoughts

                          Also, there are many good books on the market that explain the concepts and techniques in greater detail. Some examples are

                          Mindful Breathing

                          While this may sound the same as mindfulness meditation, all you’re really doing is taking short breaks occasionally (10 to 15 seconds) to observe your breathing. Stop whatever you’re doing, and take a few mindful breaths, then resume your activity. That’s it.

                          You can do mindful breathing at any time of the day during your busy schedule. What it does is interrupt the acceleration of your mind. It is like taking your foot off the accelerator while driving. It’s a nice refreshing break you can take without anyone noticing.

                          Here’re some breathing exercises you can try to learn: 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly)

                          Mindful Walking

                          Walking is an activity that you perform several times throughout the day. We often think we’re being productive by texting, or calling someone while walking. But are we really?

                          Instead of getting on your cell phone, or letting your mind wander off, why not use your walking for training yourself to live in the moment?

                          Mindful walking is similar to mindful breathing. But instead of focusing on your breath, focus on your walking. Pay attention to each footstep. Also, notice the different motions of your arms, legs, and torso. When your mind wanders off, just bring your attention back to your walking.

                          You can even make a meditation out of walking. That is, go walking for a few minutes outside. Start by slowing down your pace. If you slow down your body, your mind will follow.

                          In addition to paying attention to your walking, notice the trees, sunshine, and critters. A mindful walk is enjoyable, and can really help your mind settle down.

                          Mindful Eating

                          Eating is an activity that most of us perform mindlessly. The reason is that it doesn’t require your attention to perform. So what many of us do is try to multitask while we eat. We may talk on the phone, text, watch TV, or even hold a meeting.

                          The problem with not eating mindfully is that we don’t eat what our body and mind need to perform at an optimal level. We may eat unhealthy foods, or too much. This can lead to various health problems, especially as we get older.

                          Mindful eating has many health benefits, such as reduced food cravings, better digestion, and even weight loss.[5]

                          So how do you eat mindfully? Start by slowing down, and avoid the temptation to distract yourself with another activity. Here are 3 different aspects of eating where you can practice mindfulness:

                          • Eating itself: Focus your attention on choosing a portion of food to insert into your mouth. Notice the smell, flavor, and texture as you chew it; then finally swallow it. As with following your breath during meditation, pay close attention to every aspect of eating.
                          • Choice of foods: Although you’ve already chosen your food before you have begun eating, you can still take the opportunity to contemplate your choices. Think about the nutrients your body needs to sustain itself. Ask yourself, “Is this what my body and mind need to be healthy, and perform at an optimal level?” “Is it sufficient, or too much?” By asking yourself these questions, you will be more inclined to make better choices in the future.
                          • Contemplating the sources: Most of us don’t think about all the work it takes to provide us with the food we eat. While you’re eating, consider all the work by the farmer, shipping company, and the grocery store. These are real people who worked hard to provide you with the food necessary for your survival.

                          You can find more tips about mindful eating here: 7 Simple Steps to Mindful Eating

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                          Mindful Activities

                          Choose an activity that you perform regularly, such as washing dishes. Focus all your attention on this activity, and resist the temptation to let your mind wander, or get distracted. When it does, then just bring your attention back to washing dishes.

                          Notice some of the specific movements, or sensations of washing dishes, such as how the soapy water feels on your hands, the circular motion of scrubbing the dish, or the rinsing. You’d be surprised at how such a mundane activity can truly expand your awareness.

                          You can choose any activity you like, such as ironing, folding clothes, mowing the lawn, or showering. Over time, you will begin doing all these activities with greater mindfulness.

                          Bonus Suggestion

                          Here is one activity that is not generally considered a mindful activity. It is physical training. For those of you who already workout, it may be easy to see how physical training requires you to live in the moment.

                          Here’s how it works:

                          In order to perform an exercise to get the desired benefit, you need to use a proper technique. In order to use the proper technique, you need to pay close attention to how you are doing the exercise. In other words, you need to be fully present in the moment.

                          Another aspect of training that helps you live in the moment is tuning into what is happening in your body. First, during exercising, you need to pay close attention to how your body feels. Are you exercising hard enough, or not enough?

                          There are times to go easy, such as during warm-up exercises; and times to push yourself hard, such as when you’re warmed up and want to stimulate growth.

                          Second, when you’re not in the gym training, you need to pay close attention to the signals your body is sending you. What nutrients and how much do you need to consume to support your training? How much rest do you need?

                          By tuning in to your body, you force yourself to be in the moment. So, physical training done properly is just about as effective as meditation, or any mindful activity, for developing mindfulness. It’s also great for your health.

                          Final Thoughts

                          Practicing mindfulness is like regularly putting small amounts of change in a jar. They will all add up over time. And this will add up to greater peace and happiness.

                          Remember, you don’t have to do the mindfulness practices perfectly to get the benefits. All you have to do is keep bringing your mind back to the present moment when it wanders off.

                          Practicing mindfulness may be a bit challenging in the beginning; but I can assure you, it will get easier fairly quickly.

                          The benefits of living in the moment are well within your reach, no matter how much your mind is racing. If you stick with these mindfulness practices, you too will learn how to live in the moment and stop worrying; and when you do, a whole new world will open up for you. This is what Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh calls the ultimate reality.

                          Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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