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The 10 Best Things Every Mother Ever Told Her Child

The 10 Best Things Every Mother Ever Told Her Child

Whether or not we realize it, most of us operate on default based upon the messages our parents communicated to us as children. If we were lucky enough to have folks who made it their mission to empower us, the chances are better that we take a sense of high self-esteem into the world every day. As we groom our own children to become the planet’s future leaders, remember that what we tell them will influence how they show up for life. Keeping that in mind, here are the 10 best things every mother ever told her child:

1. “I love you.”

There are people in this world who don’t ever hear their parents say, “I love you.” We all want to hear it. We all need to feel it. Not hearing the words, “I love you,” could impair a child’s future ability to express love and affection to others, causing the cycle to repeat.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” We each have the chance to make that happen. We can start by telling the child in our lives that we love them…every day.

2. “You can do it.”

In the eyes and heart of a child, the smallest of things can look and feel scarier than they should (Santa Claus, for example). A mother who tells her child they “can do it” is teaching that child to face life’s obstacles with courage and resolve. This child will grow into an adult who will be willing to take risks by looking fear straight in the eye and saying, “Let’s do it!”

The willingness of any individual to keep pushing the boundaries will ensure his or her personal evolution and the expansion of our species. (Think Ben Franklin and the light bulb here!)

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3. “Everything is going to be OK.”

In today’s world, kids face different challenges than any of us ever could have imagined even a decade ago. Unfortunately, more kids are turning to permanent solutions (like suicide) to solve temporary problems. When your child is going through pain, make them a promise.

Promise your child that if they just hold on, the pain will pass, and everything will be OK. By helping to strengthen your child’s determination when life gets to be too much, you will be empowering them with the sliver of hope we all need to feel sometimes. Your child will also learn hard times aren’t forever, and by experiencing pain, a person can come out the other end stronger, wiser, and happier.

4. “Be kind.”

People can be mean. In fact, sometimes these mean people can be our own siblings. The best way to disarm someone else’s meanness is with kindness.

When your child is dealing with a Mean Girls situation, remind them that responding with unkindness will only breed more hostility and drama. It is important for a child to stand up for themself in a situation where they are being mistreated, but coach your child to do this with dignity and respect. If your child will be placing themself in harm’s way by responding (even with kindness), give your child permission to do what they can to remove the mean person from their life (with your support, if necessary).

5. “Be yourself.”

This is the mantra of many parents. It is, however, difficult for parents to truly allow their kids to be themselves. We sometimes treat our children as though they are here to please us. As a result, we can punish them for acting in ways we don’t approve of, but that might be authentic for them.

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The fact is that each of us, including our children, are here to realize our own purpose. It’s difficult to let kids make their own ‘mistakes’ when we ‘know’ how things are going to turn out. As parents, we should understand our children’s decisions are necessary for their personal growth. The lessons they learn from acting authentically will be much stronger than any lesson they might learn from parents just telling them ‘how it is’ or how they ‘should’ be.

You can still coach, guide and reprimand your child. However, by giving your kid some freedom to grow into their fullest potential, you give the both of you a gift: the gift of letting go (for you) and the gift of expression (for them).

6. “After you eat your broccoli, it’s time for bed.”

Moms really know what they are talking about here. To keep your body and mind in optimum performance mode, you must take care of yourself by (drumroll)…eating right, getting exercise, and getting enough rest.

Lead your children by example; give yourself the gift of whole, healthy food and adequate sleep. Help your kids in removing the physical, mental and emotional issues that come with poor health and lifestyle choices. Raise your little ones to be thankful for their beautiful, perfect bodies and to treat those bodies with love.

7. “Time out.”

Life isn’t fair. We don’t always get what we want. When this happens to kids, many go into meltdown mode. Actually…this can happen with adults, too; when our plans are derailed by something or someone, it can cause an individual to react out of anger or descend into a bout of despair.

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When things go sideways, cultivate in your child the value of taking a ‘time out.’ By learning to stop, step back, and breathe, your kid will learn to regroup. A time out will allow your child the chance to consider a different perspective and potentially redefine the situation in a way that works for him or her. The ability to do this as an adult enables us to create our own happiness by choosing how we will manage things that don’t go our way.

8. “Say, ‘Thank you.’”

Raise a child to say, “Thank you,” so they can learn good manners. More importantly though, teach your child to feel gratitude in their heart for every minute of every day. Regardless of what drama and pain might be happening, there is always an opportunity for something greater in that difficult experience. By raising a child to be thankful in the midst of turmoil, you will be nurturing a resilient human with the power to shift any circumstance into something amazing.

9. “Never quit.”

Life can be hard, even for a kid. School gets tough. So do relationships. As we get older, competition for jobs, money and status turns fierce.

Whatever it is your child wants to accomplish, they should remember to keep on trucking even after failure strikes once, twice, or hundreds of times. Your child should understand that just because they haven’t gotten something ‘right’ yet, things aren’t over. Tell your child that if they hold a dream, they should never quit, and should take little steps every day for as long as they have that dream in their heart.

10. “It’s OK to quit.”

Sometimes dreams change. Sometimes we realize we don’t want something we once did. However, sometimes giving up the pursuit of a dream feels like failure even if we really don’t want the dream anymore.

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Give your child permission to call it quits. Remind them that if they are quitting something because that is what they truly want, there is power in quitting. This will serve your child well as they grow into an adult who wants to make a change—be that from a college major, a job, a career, or a life partner.

If you are a parent, remember the force behind these 10 best things every mother ever told her child. Choose your words wisely. Those words will be largely responsible for your child’s destiny and our collective future on this planet.

Featured photo credit: bright picture of hugging mother and daughter via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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